Owner: Swirls in my Head - Thoughts of a Mental Mind URL:http://mentalmommy.blogspot.com Join Date: Wed, 30 Aug 2006 16:08:08 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: I said that my illnesses would not define me; yet, as I type my thoughts I realize that I have let them shape my life. How do I separate myself from something that is a part of me? Do I even need to? I suffer from Depression and Borderline Personality Dis Site statistics:Click here
In the Words of Mr. Magoo Second Edition ~ Isn't that good? 2006-10-23 04:47:00 Mom is really nice. When ever mom goes somewhere she gives us a present every week.
Right now mom is sick. I am trying to think of something to make her happy. I don't have any ideas right now, do you?
Doodles has a tummy ache. I hope he feels better.
I have a cough.
Dad likes to bring mom tea in bed. He sure loves us.
Mom loves us very much and we love her.
Buzz and Chloe bark at the door Read more:Words
, Second
, Edition
So here we are 2006-10-23 04:29:00 I had a great sleep in today. Nice and relaxing. I find that when I am down every little thing gets to me, even simple things. It's like I am hyper aware of noises, smells, touch…everything is magnified. Poor Mr. Magoo seems to drive me nuts. His constant talking. His need to hang on me. His high energy. I just have no patient for any of it.
I've been doing really well at keeping an even temper
In Order to Heal 2006-10-21 19:35:00 You must first fall
I owe all of you an apology. When I started this blog, I promised that I would not hide behind my mask. I promised that it would be an honest reflection of what I am feeling and what I am going through. I've looked at so many other blogs and I've noticed a pattern. When people fall into their depression, they retreat. They hide. They stop the communication. It's part of the Read more:Order
Depression and Bipolar Support Group Week Three 2006-10-21 01:57:00 Last week was the second week of the Depression and BipolarSupportGroup
.
Week Two Review
I challenged each of you to do a few assignments. I will now share my answers with you. While I touched a bit on each one of them in the post, I didn't want to put too much information ahead of time for fear of influencing yours.
Cycle of grief
I am finally at a point in my life when I can say that I have Read more:Three
Five Ingredient Friday ~ Chicken and Eggs 2006-10-20 19:40:00 Here is a dish for nights when you're in a hurry or just don't feel like cooking. It also works great when you have like no food to be found anywhere.What you need Chicken
Eggs Oil and Butter Seasoning (I used lemon pepper) Sweet Chili Sauce How to make itFry chickenScrample eggs (do not use milk)Season chickenMix eggs with chickenScoop onto platesTop with sweet chili sauce (for Mr. Magoo, we top Read more:Friday
, Ingredient
Thursday Thirteen Edition #7 - Ways I Keep my Sanity 2006-10-19 20:32:00 What a week. Sorry I think my last post was a bit confusing, especially if you are new here. I did not actually find a publisher, though if you know of any, I have just found the strength to write it. I've realized that no matter what you do someone will be hurt and that it is most important that you look out for yourself. Not that you should go out of your way to hurt others or not take their Read more:Edition
, Thursday
, Thirteen
, Sanity
Great News... 2006-10-19 07:13:00 Drinks on me (although mine will be a non-alcoholic, as I don't drink), my novel is a go. I have found my freedom.
(Wish I could explain, but I am not allowed to blog about certain people. Let's just say that validation and closer are powerful.) Read more:Great
Surprisingly productive day 2006-10-24 05:43:00 Surprisingly productive
day
I woke up and rushed to get the kids out the door for school, typical of any Monday around our house. This morning I didn't bring the dog. I wasn't in the mood for a long walk. I had a headache. Plus, I wasn't sure if the piano was coming today and I had no idea what time my Avon order would show up. These are my excuses, and they work for me. Besides, we're all
This time of year 2006-10-25 07:06:00 I think that my depression bring with it Hypengyophobia. I think that is why I find it so difficult to get things done and to take ownership for anything. I would much rather just sleep. Today, however, I did not let my depression get in the way. I'm getting so much better at pushing myself.
I got a number of errands done in the morning, stopped by to visit my Kindred Spirit (likely should have
Wordless Wednesday Seven ~ Sort of wordless, Very true 2006-10-25 08:02:00 Feel free to leave a comment even if you don't have a Wordless Wednesday
Post, but please only add your name below if you do. Thanks.
The Wordless Wednesday Blogroll is on the side.
Also, while you're here, if you haven't already done so I'm still hoping to reach 100 comments. Read more:Seven
Uneven and all 2006-10-29 05:12:00 As the days goes by, I find myself more and more tiered, yet there is just so much to do. I find that often when I am depressed I try to do more as if to some how outrun it. My mind races with thoughts of failure and guilt, my body fatigued. It's an odd place to be. When your heart, mind and body are not connected. Being a perfectionist doesn't help either. I fear that anything less is failure.
A reality that is fiction 2006-10-28 07:29:00 I am tiered tonight. There seems to be so much on the go right now. I wonder how I did it while I was working full time. Time, what a funny thing. There is never enough. Yet it is always the same amount.
I managed to get my doctor's note for the EI. I hope it works. She thinks that I need some actual form. I guess we'll see on Monday.
I've got my new prescriptions. Time will tell if they Read more:reality
Depression and Bipolar Support Group Week Four 2006-10-27 05:10:00 Week Three in Review
I challenged each of you to do a few assignments. I will now share my answers with you. While I touched a bit on each one of them in the post, I didn't want to put too much information ahead of time for fear of influencing yours.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is interesting. I am not one to hold a grudge. I think this is in part to do with the splitting. When you are good, you're Read more:Bipolar
, Support
, Group
Thursday Thirteen Edition #8 - Things People Do 2006-10-26 21:13:00 My silly head is pounding. My throat is dry and ache, my nose stuffy. Most of my "to do list" for the day remains undone. I just want to curl up and go to sleep. Plus, the silly wind is blowing down my Halloween decorations. Then, Hubby wants me to run errands. So, I go. I drop of the skates to be sharpened. However, do you think I can just wait there to get them? No, I have to go back later to Read more:Edition
, Thursday
, Thirteen
Things to follow-up with tomorrow 2006-10-26 05:05:00 This will be a short post. It'd odd because I felt fine all day and then at like 4:30 I got dizzy and tiered. My throat started to burn and my head pound. My nose stuffy. I've ever been hit so hard so fast. (Hubby was home sick today. He seems fine now though. That's good.) I went to lay down right away. I stayed in bed until 6:45ish, ate supper and then crawled back into bed. I stayed home while Read more:tomorrow
I have to stop and listen to my body 2006-10-30 05:31:00 So I started my new medication a couple of nights ago, and I have to say that it takes me on a really weird psychedelic trip. I take it at night and when I'm in that sort of awake, sort of asleep phase things start flying out at me, lights flash. It's really crazy. I hope it's just my body getting used to the meds or else I'm going to have to change.
I woke up at 6:15, so stuffed up that I
Doodles needed a Mental Health Day 2006-10-31 06:51:00 The yard is almost all decorated, a few final touches tomorrow and the house from the pumpkins we carved. It's such a wonderful time of year.
I stayed up late last night (well, not that late for me 1:00ish) and managed to get my second assignment done. I have two weeks to get assignment three done. It will be a lot of work, but it is better than withdrawing from the course.
Poor Doodles was home Read more:Health
, Mental Health
Halloween Has Come and Gone 2006-11-02 05:38:00 So despite the remaining messy house and the fact that my head cold is way worse, Halloween
went well. As always Mr. Magoo outlasted Doodles. They have way too much candy and to add to that we have tons left. The trick now will be to not eat it all. I was surprised at how few kids we had. It must have been the chilly wind.
I love all the kids in their costumes. It's too bad that we couldn't see
Thursday Thirteen Edition # 9 ~ Ways to Help 2006-11-02 18:42:00 In response to a few comments from last week's ThursdayThirteen
, I am doing: Thirteen Things Ways to Help Someone who Suffers from Mental IllnessUnderstand and accept anxieties and anger. Understand that the individual may not be able to do certain things. Know that the individual should not make any major decisions. Realize that the anger is not directed at you. See the behaviours as part of Read more:Edition
Quick Update 2006-11-03 19:52:00 Sorry that the support group information isn't up yet. Life has just been really busy. I think I stay busy to avoid reality. The problem is that at the end of the day, I am so worn out that all I want to do is shut myself off from the world and sleep. Plus, this silly cold just doesn't want to go away. I'm starting to feel better, but am still really stuffy and stiff.
Boys are doing well. Doodles Read more:Update
, Quick
, Quick Update
Depression and Bipolar Support Group Week Five 2006-11-04 05:17:00 Week Four Review
I challenged each of you to do a few assignments. I will now share my answers with you. While I touched a bit on each one of them in the post, I didn't want to put too much information ahead of time for fear of influencing your answers.
As you know, out of respect for my family, I have been asked not to blog about certain members. This will make answering the following questions Read more:Group
, Bipolar
, Support
Where are the breaks? 2006-11-05 05:57:00 For the first time since starting my blog I thought about not writing today. I'm not really sure why. It was odd. Am I pulling myself away from this too? That's what BPDs do when we think people are getting to close, we pull away. The put up their wall and they hide behind. The odd thing is that inside we crave that closeness from which we run.
But I am here, and I am blogging. Not only for you, Read more:breaks
A smile with meaning 2006-11-06 05:36:00 The school bags are packed
The lunches not made
The laundry is folded
But not put away
Their hair is washed
And needing a cut
Their teeth are brushed
But asleep they are not
This is the life
Of an everyday mom
I spent much of today in my room, Hubby even brought me lunch in bed. I got some of my assignment done, took a nap and had some time to think. Doodles had hockey practice today. As I lay in
Anything more is a huge success 2006-11-07 04:55:00 No walk for me this morning. In fact I've missed a few mornings, but today I had a good reason. I was a parent volunteer for Mr. Magoo's class. It was a lot of fun. It was great to be there and fully present. My mind not wondering into the world of work and what I might be missing or should be doing. A guilt free time. I think that's the best part of being home. I am fully a part of my boys'
Lessons in friendship 2006-11-08 05:34:00 Today felt like the most normal day that I've had in awhile. It was a nice feeling to really smile and laugh. I hope it lasts.
I went on a field trip with Doodles' class this morning. It was a lot of fun. They were making their Christmas gifts. So cute. I love how different they all are. A few of the kids were assigned the task of writing me a thank you note. I love reading them.
Then I went Read more:Lessons
Wordless Wednesday Nine ~ Way Back When 2006-11-08 19:33:00 Back on October 24th, I was tagged by Sandra to take a picture of the front of my fridge and post it. I completely forgot. So here it is for my sort-of-wordless Wednesday
.
Thursday Thirteen Edition # 10 ~ Kids Emotions 2006-11-09 17:49:00 Thirteen Ways to Teach Kids About EmotionsHelp your children to gain an understanding of their emotions through the use of books, board games, puppets, music, art…Teach your children to identify and verbalize their emotions - as well as to read the emotional signals from other children and adultsMake is a habit to identify your own emotions as well as the emotions of others.Watch your child's Read more:Thursday
, Thirteen
, Edition
Depression and Bipolar Support Group Week Six 2006-11-11 20:19:00 I have no idea where yesterday went. The boys were home from school and it kept me pretty busy. I also got a lot of appointments made that I've been putting off. Then there is my last assignment, still working on it, but almost done. The boys and I even went out sledding. Plus, I was very tiered and had some weird pain in the middle of my back on the right, which then started to make its way down Read more:Bipolar
, Support
, Group
Depression in My Words 2006-11-13 08:13:00 I once did an entry called Borderline Personality Disorder in my Words
. I never did do on depression. At the time I thought it was because I was so far removed from it, but I realize now that I was actually too deep in it. I think that I was aware that happiness was becoming an increasing elusive thing. Something that more I tried to grasp the further it went. I put on my mask and I kept going.
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