Owner: Dadviser URL:http://www.dadviser.com/blog Join Date: Mon, 25 Jun 2007 03:25:17 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Dedicated to paternal progression, helping fathers strengthen the bonds with their children and becoming positive, productive parents. Site statistics:Click here
Day 30 - Earn Your Voice 2007-08-30 08:55:02 THE 30th tip in the 31 days to becoming a better dad is to say earn your voice.
The best way to stay attached with your children is to talk to them from the minute they are born and never stop. Quite often, fathers only talk to their kids when one of them has done something wrong. As someone that grew up that way, I can tell you that doing so makes your child not want to talk to you.
The more you talk to your children, the more you will earn their trust to talk to you about the issues in their life. Talking also involves listening to your child - sometimes even more so. The main thing is to be as open with your kids in both good and bad times and to be supportive of their choices. Like a valued friend or consultant, you will be a person they seek out when they need advice and someone whose opinion they respect instead of reject.
Children love talking to their fathers. Somewhere along the line, many of us give our children the feeling that we don’t want to talk with them, that we don Read more:Voice
How Napoleon Hill Can Help You Be A Better Dad - Part 4 2007-08-30 06:14:05 PART 4 of "How To Win Friends And Influence People" deals with being an effective leader. According to Napoleon
Hill, one of the most important skills of being a leader is getting people to change without taking offense or resenting you.
As parents, this is something we deal with more and more as our children get older. They begin to do things we may not necessarily agree with, and instead of talking with them, we are quick to demand change. This usually leads to arguments and a growing degree of separation in most families.
To get your children to change for the better, try out these 9 rules.
Be A Leader: How To Change People Without Giving Offense Or Arousing Resentment
A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation- Even when you disagree with someone, it is wise to explain to that person the things you agree with and give them some positive feedback first. Lea
Day 29 - Stay Attached 2007-08-29 07:36:19 THE 29th tip in the 31 days to becoming a better dad is to stay attached to your children.
Humans have a tendency to take things out on those they are closest to, and that’s usually our family. Arguments and disagreements are inevitable and can sometimes go too far and hurt feelings. In these times, as parents, whether it was your feelings hurt or your child’s, it is your job to remain attached and never shut them out.
If your child is shutting you out, continue talking with them with love and affection. Avoiding a defensive attitude will show your child that they have no need to attack and that you are more interested in maintaining a happy home than being “right”.
I’ve been the “shut out” and the “shutee”, both as a child and an adult, and I know how easy it is to hold a grudge or remain quite and pretend things are fine. Only after a good talk and a big hug do things get better, sometimes not even then, but if you always remain attached to your children, they Read more:Attached
How Napoleon Hill Can Help You Be A Better Dad - Part 3 2007-08-29 05:01:26 PART 3 of "How To Win Friends And Influence People" deals with winning others over to your way of thinking, a major skill for parents in today's world.
As a rule, I don't "make" my children do anything. It is my job as a parent to persuade them in some way that it is best for them to do the things I ask. Obviously if they don't, there is some sort of repercussion, but I'm not going to have a war of words with a child. In an effort to be more persuasive and win your child over to your way of thinking, try these 12 tips.
Win People To Your Way Of Thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it- Arguments are a waste of time. Generally, someone is bound to get their feelings hurt and the argument still isn't resolved. Simply avoid them.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."- Even children deserve your respect. They are every bit as important as you and being dealt with fairly will go a long way towards winning th Read more:Napoleon
How Napoleon Hill Can Help You Be A Better Dad - Part 1 2007-08-27 05:21:36 RE-READING "How To Win Friends And Influence People" recently, I did so from the perspective of being a father and how to be a better one. Napoleon
Hill's 1936 classic has long been a staple in my business dealings, but it's easily worthy of being a template for parenting, as well.
The book is broken down into four parts, each of which are a formula for succeeding at the title task. The first section deals with the fundamentals.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain- Relationships are hard work. Successful ones require the best in each of us on a consistent basis. When we are not at our best, we are not completely happy with ourselves and it becomes easy to complain about the actions of others. Criticisms of our spouse or children add up in their minds and eventually create a degree of separation.
Keep poisonous words to yourself and find a way to say something positive about the thing you were going to complain about. You'll be ha
Personal Development For Dads Challenge #5 - Volunteer 2007-09-14 04:29:29 ONE of the best ways I've ever found to help myself grown is to give more of myself to others. There's just something about watching others grow from the time and care you have put into them.
One of the truly special gifts of being a parent is having a child you can teach your skills to and one day watch them do all we can do even better. Even with children, it's an amazing experience to help others out with your free time and not much else will ever make you feel better about yourself. Below are ten ways you can volunteer even if you already have a busy family and career.
1. Your children's school- A great way to volunteer and spend more time with your children at the same time is to volunteer in their classrooms or at their school.
2. Homeless shelters- Homeless shelters need as many extra hands as they can get. It doesn't take more than a couple of hours each night you can to help feed dozens to hundreds of homeless. Read the 35 ways to help the homeless for more ideas o Read more:Personal
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Personal Development For Dads Challenge #4 - Live In The Moment 2007-09-13 02:01:03 SOMETHING I have noticed as being a major hurdle for many people to overcome is the ability to stop dwelling on the problems of their past or looking to the future for their happiness. Your happiness can only be found in one place, within you, and at one time, at the intersection of just happened and about to happen.
I've been guilty of dwelling on the past and the future at different times of my life. Much of my life I spent being a "perfectionist" and wondering how I could have done things in my life better. The simple answer to that question is nothing, but for years I went over certain things over and over to the point I stopped enjoying the things that were currently in my life.
When I saw the error of my ways, I began to be a much more creative and loving individual, but as I surrounded my life with new projects and ambitions, it became hard not to dwell on the good times the future could bring if I could just follow through on my goals. Sadly, this wasn't the happiness Read more:Personal
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Personal Development For Dads Challenge #3 - Exercise 2007-09-08 01:17:30 STAYING in shape is probably near the top of most of our to-do-lists yet never gets crossed off for most of us. Many people don't start their exercise and/or dieting regimen because they don't feel good about themselves and lack motivation, though ironically, getting in shape is just the thing to improve their self-esteem.
The benefits of getting and staying in shape are profound. Besides increased self-esteem, exercising increases your libido, your stamina and most importantly, your lifespan. On paper, exercising sounds like the Fountain of Youth, but to our minds, it sounds more like a root canal.
If you are serious about living a long, happy life, then starting and maintaining your exercise regimen is the most important decision you can make. Stop procrastinating. To help you get started, try out some of the fun, free exercise ideas below as soon as possible.
1. Walk- Walking is a free activity with huge health benefits and if you plan your routes, can actually be quite Read more:Personal
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What's Your Goal? 2007-09-05 10:07:39 TODAY'S reader question caught me a bit by surprise, but it was so thought provoking I couldn't resist posting it.
Charlie asked "I have been to your site several times and I have to admit I have been confused at times. What is your goal for this blog?".
Though I have a pretty solid idea of where I want this blog to be in another year or two, I have never actually written down a specific goal. The reason for this is that I continually change my mind about who I am trying to reach.
As a marketer, I know that is a cardinal sin, but as a human being, I can't help it. My original intention was to target single and separated father only, but several of my first readers were either women or married fathers. So I decided to try and include them, as well.
It didn't take long for me to change course again, though. Trying to make everyone happy wasn't the best idea, so I thought a little more about it and decided that positive parenting and personal development were things I not onl
Personal Development For Dads Challenge #2 - Express Your Emotions 2007-09-05 05:35:15 EXPRESSING your emotions in a healthy manner is directly related to the level of happiness and growth you experience in life.
When we don't feel worthy of ourselves, we hold our emotions in and create a variety of psychological and nervous disorders. When we are feeling inspired and motivated in life, we freely express ourselves without hesitation or worry of what others might think. Only during these times are we truly living.
Learning how to express ourselves in productive ways is a difficult task and is often a lifelong process. You don't have to let the best years of your life pass by before you learn this skill, though. Pay attention to what your feelings are trying to tell you and practice these tips to increase your ability to express your emotions in any circumstance.
1. Start A Journal- Express
ing yourself to the person you feel is responsible for your current emotions is the healthiest option, but if you aren't quite ready to take that step, starting a journal is Read more:Personal
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Personal Development For Dads Challenge #1 - Simplify 2007-09-05 02:35:33 OUR lives are being held ransom by the inevitability of progress. As much as technology has the potential to help us streamline our lives, it has a far more persuasive ability to infiltrate our lives and distract our attention from where it would best be given.
If we ever expect to grow in positive ways as individuals, it is imperative that we put the man hours into really getting to know ourselves. Once we understand how to utilize the tools we were born with, we begin to create situations in our lives where we can succeed and not just attempt.
I don't know about you, but I can't remember a time when technology didn't command a hefty portion of my time. I was raised in the golden era of home movies, video game consoles, abundant broadcast options and the height of prime time television. The advent of the Internet certainly didn't help matters.
With all these distractions, what can an already busy father do to break free? Here are ten ideas to help you simplify your life so th Read more:Personal
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Personal Development Month 2007-09-03 15:39:05 DADVISER just surpassed six months of being live and while every month has seen numerous improvements, August was by far the best month we've had. I still have many improvements in mind, but as a full-time father and owner of an increasingly busy marketing company, my available time is shrinking.
My lack of free time got me to thinking about outsourcing, which is ironic because I spend so much time marketing to business owners to get them to outsource their marketing needs to me. The circle of life in 2007, I guess.
Anyway, a major reason traffic increased so much around here last month is because people returned to see the next tip in the 31 Days to Being A Better Dad series. I've actually been toying with month-long series on several of my blogs, but this was the first time I actually made it all the way through the whole month and was able to put together a finale post.
Hopefully some of you got some benefit from the series. I know I learned a lot. Many of the posts force Read more:Personal
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31 Days To Being A Better Dad Toolbox 2007-09-02 17:26:12 THE first tip in the 31 days to becoming a better dad is to be good to your child's mom.
As someone who has gone through some extreme ups and downs with his child's mom, I can attest to the power of taking the high road. In fact, our relationship is the inspiration for this blog. I have made many mistakes as a father myself, but I have grown dramatically over the 11 years of my oldest daughter's life.
I can't say the same for her. Sadly, she has chosen to use the lack of having her own father in her life as an excuse to remain stagnant. Sometimes I think that's what she wants for our daughter, but I won't let it happen. Instead, I've been proactive in gaining custody and playing the largest role possible.
Through it all, I never have a bad word to say about her and I remind our girls to always love and respect their mother. I even go so far as to take her out for Mother's Day and give the kids presents to give her for other holidays. As a result, the past stays in the Read more:Toolbox
The Trials Of Life 2007-09-27 12:43:58 SEPTEMBER has been a roller coaster, to say the least.
When the month started, I hadn't seen two of my daughters for weeks as their mother found herself in some trouble and checked herself and our children, without my consent, into a woman's shelter. Legally hamstrung, I devoted all my time into my business and saw some exciting growth.
A couple weeks later, busier than I've ever been in my life, the mother found her way into some trouble, landed in jail, signed over her rights to our kids to her mother and without her parental alienation campaign at full strength, I've been spending considerably more quality time with my kids. Then over this past weekend, I was in an accident and fractured my left humerus and dislocated my arm, severely limiting the time I can spend blogging or even performing my business duties.
I've been resting non-stop for the past few days and have had some time to reflect on all that's happened and my only regret right now is not being able to blog. S Read more:Trials
Time > Money 2007-12-04 07:57:23 IT sickens me that it's been over two month's since I have posted here at Dadviser. I apologize profusely, but I hope you can understand how the life of a stay-at-home-dad can be let's say, unpredictable.
I'm not going to fill this space with complaining about life, only to let those that aren't already believers know that time is not money, it is far more valuable than money. Every day, my project lists get longer and longer and I enjoy all the work I do so much I can't help but take it on, but at some point it gets overwhelming and leaves me with little time to do some of the things I love like write on this blog.
If you've hung with me through all this, again thank you. Please know there are some great new segments that I have planned to start launching very soon, as well as a couple of book reviews I have secured with some great authors. Then there are the many questions I have received from fathers all over that deserve my attention. I'm also going to spend more time Read more:Money
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