Owner: Dadviser URL:http://www.dadviser.com/blog Join Date: Mon, 25 Jun 2007 03:25:17 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Dedicated to paternal progression, helping fathers strengthen the bonds with their children and becoming positive, productive parents. Site statistics:Click here
How To Raise Your Kids With C.A.R.E. 2007-05-05 08:46:20 THE Better Kid Care program at Pennsylvania State University offers some sound wisdom concerning raising children in a more caring manner. No, they aren't talking about how much you love your child. Just about all parents love their children more than anything else in the world, but spend much of the time frustrated and angry.
The Better Kid Care program is more a guideline for changing parental attitudes from frustration to validation. We all want to feel we are doing a good job as parents, and what better way than seeing your children filled with love and respect? Sound impossible? It's not as hard as you'd think. Try the C.A.R.E. method and watch the positive transformation take place.
First up is Consideration. Just because you are the parent and expect your children to do as you tell them, doesn't mean that you can't always be considerate of their feelings. I personally grew up in a home where the rule was "do as I say, not as I do", and G.P. (general principle) was the reaso
Fathers In America 2007-05-05 08:07:02 ACCORDING to a Gallup Organization opinion poll called "Fathers
in America
", 79.1% of respondents agreed or strongly agreed that "The most significant family, or social problem facing America is the physical absence of the father from the home".
More than 1/3 of all children live absent from their biological fathers and that number continues to rise and compound itself. In a society where nearly 4 out of 10 first marriages end in divorce and 60% of divorcing couples have children, how do we even begin to reverse these numbers?
Tougher divorce laws and better birth control education would be a good start, but will never reverse the numbers and only slow them down. I believe the only way to reverse the numbers is to start new trends and continue them for a sufficient amount of generations as to have them become the norm.
The most important trend I can think of would be for fathers to well, be fathers. If we, as a society, can persuade fathers to maintain their roles regardless of their
7 Ways To Say I Love You And Mean It 2007-07-19 08:08:00 EVEN though we tell our kids and significant others we love them and probably mean it even more, we don't always say it with the meaning it deserves. Often in our busy lives, the words "I love you" are said with the same emotion as "Talk to you later" and come out sounding like an auto response.
Fortunately, there are some easy rules to apply so that when you tell your loved ones you love them, they'll believe it instead of just hearing it.
1. Use eye contact- One of the easiest ways to convey your love is through eye contact. Your words may not always carry the weight of your sincerity, but your eyes always will.
2. Use names- By adding your loved ones name, pet name or relation, your words are sure to get more attention.
3. Touch- Humans learn best when multiple senses are stimulated. A hug or a held hand adds a sensual component to your words.
4. Use non-verbal cues- As with above, adding a smile or wink to your words will increase their power.
5. Never use love and but in th
Stay-At-Home-Dads Using Opportunity To Create New Identity 2007-07-17 08:12:11 THE number of fathers staying home to raise their children has tripled over the last decade, proving men are more than willing to give up work to play their part in raising them. Spending quality time with your children doesn't mean staying home requires giving up your creativity or business savvy, however.
The stay-at-home routine often leads men to think of new ways to replace their income, and should be looked at as a great opportunity to do what you've actually always wanted to do instead of whatever it was you gave up to be staying home now. There may be exceptions, but I think it's safe to say staying home with the kids was a far superior choice of work for most of us.
In the time I have given up work and become a stay-at-home-dad, I have started Dadviser and my own marketing company and have several other projects in the works. While my previous 9-5 allowed some creative opportunity, it still wasn't what I wanted to do. It was what someone else wanted to do and I just enj Read more:Opportunity
The Top 4 Parenting Styles And Why You Should Avoid 3 Of Them 2007-07-16 19:29:48 THOUGH there are numerous factors that go into the type of children we raise, ultimately our parenting style will form the basis for the kind of person they grow up to be.
Financial situations, outside influences and personal experiences will always be around to make things interesting. But if we commit to a positive parenting style and remain consistent throughout their childhood, our kids will more than likely turn out to be productive, well-balanced, socially-responsible members of society that never fall far from the tree.
Psychologists have studied parenting behavior for over 80 years now, and have been able to categorize each of us into four parenting styles.
1. Authoritarian- These parents demand respect, are firm believers in punishment to modify behavior and offer very little flexibility in their children's lives. While this style of parenting can be effective in instilling rules, research has shown some negaitve side effects including:
* A tendency to become a follower
* L Read more:Parenting
, Styles
, Avoid
12 Traits Of A Great Father 2007-07-20 08:59:24 BEING a great father consists of more than putting a roof over your child's head and throwing the ball around every now and then. It requires constant growth on your part and a consistent desire to stay informed about your child's life. It also requires saying no when you really want to say yes and sometimes more importantly, yes when you really want to say no.
Askmen.com, an internet portal for men with millions of readers each month, recently put out a list of their top 12 traits of a great father.
1. Good disciplinarian- Being a good disciplinarian involves peacefully disapproving of our child's misdeeds, as well as not rewarding expected actions. We've discussed positive discipline in a previous post.
2. Allows kids to make some mistakes- Making mistakes is the surest way to learn. Letting our children make mistakes can be hard, but it's a healthy way to learn who they are.
3. Open-minded- The world constantly changes around us. As fathers, we tend to lean towards the co Read more:Traits
, Great
, Father
Learn By Doing 2007-07-18 08:18:41 AFTER yesterday's post, I got to thinking about the reason we don't follow our passions, that four letter F word we can't stand to believe we're capable of having ourselves.
Fear petrifies us in so many areas of our life, but we know deep down fear is only experience deep. After we try something once or twice, we get over our fear. There were times in our life when we were afraid of walking, riding a bike or being alone in the dark. Public speaking, raising a child and following your passions are no different.
My biggest fears have always contradicted my passions. I've always wanted children and I've always wanted to use public speaking to further my goals, yet I was deathly afraid of both. The experience of having my first daughter got me over the first fear, and joining my local Toastmasters has gradually helped me get over the second. The only thing that will completely get me over it is doing it.
I don't know if I always believed in myself or if my university's Learn B
Fun Food Friday - Vol. 1 2007-07-27 06:37:48 AS I pointed out yesterday, learning to cook is one of the 5 keys to becoming a great single father. Though I have seriously increased my cooking skills over the past few years, I have yet to share any recipes with the Dadviser community.
In an effort to keep all the development categories well rounded, I have decided to add 3 or 4 new recipe ideas each Friday
. For the most part, they will be simple ideas requiring few ingredients and have (at least at my house) been kid tested.
Without further ado, here are my first installments:
1. Bacon and Cheese Toast -
You will need:
* Bread (as many slices as you want)
* Bacon Pieces
* Grated Cheese
* Tomato Sauce
* Eggs (1 for each 4 slices of bread)
Spread the tomato sauce on each bread slice and place them on an oven tray. Mix the remaining ingredients together, spooning the mixture onto the bread slices. Place in 180 degree oven until golden on top. Cut islices in halves and serve.
2. Potato Bake -
You will need:
5 Keys To Being A Great Single Father 2007-07-26 05:23:42 AFTER reading this excellent Boston Globe article about the lives of several single fathers, it got me thinking about all the things we have to do to become good single fathers.
Becoming a single father requires a massive rearranging of your life and the learning of a whole new set of skills. Indeed, my life as a single father resembles my former life in very few ways, but despite the amount of effort needed, I have become a more rounded and happier individual.
While this transformation is good, it's not without obstacles. Once you gain custody of your children, you can expect life to become more difficult, but it will also be much more rewarding if you learn these five keys to being a good single father:
1. Put In The Time- Becoming a single dad will automatically take up any free time you used to have. Perhaps the most important thing you can do as a single father is spend ample time with your children. Without mom around, the kids will be looking to you for guidance, support, l Read more:Great
, Father
Custody Toolbox 2007-07-30 13:00:49 KEEPING your custody calendar and records organized has never been easier. There are loads of tools online, but the best one I have tried is the Custody Toolbox
.
Featuring a color-coded calendar, a searchable journal, a child info database and an address book with birthday and anniversary reminder, this tool is the Swiss Army Knife of custody calendars.
Try it free for 15 days and see how easy it is to keep your important custody information organized and up-to-date.
10 Ways To Entertain Young Children For $1 Or Less 2007-07-30 10:00:01 I'M a firm believer in spending time with your kids without the tv and am always looking for crafts and activities to do with my kids that don't cost a fortune. Over at Lifehacker, they posted 10 ways to entertain young children for $1 or less.
I've tried several of these ideas with my daughters and have had a great time, and to say the least, you can't beat the price.
DAD TALK
* What crafts have you made with your kids for under $1?
* Got any free game ideas? Pass them on to the Dadviser community. Read more:Children
What Are Your Visitation Rights? 2007-07-30 08:00:00 THIS week's poll was inspired by a reader email about visitation times.
I have a pretty open agreement with my daughter's mom to see my two younger kids as much as I want, but I know a few fathers that only see their kids every other weekend.
DAD TALK
* How often do you get to see your kids?
* Do you have an agreement with your children's mother or a court order?
* Are you happy with the amount of time you get to spend with your children? Read more:Rights
Day 2 - Teach Your Kids Self-Esteem 2007-08-02 20:41:58 THE second tip in the 31 days to becoming a better dad is to teach your kids self-esteem. If we fail in this effort, our children are going to make bad decisions for a large majority of their life or at the very least, not have the guts to take the chances that will lead to happiness.
The best way to teach this invaluable trait is to show them how important they are to you. Spend your time with them, even if you have something more "important" to do. Talk to them and more importantly, listen to them. Have high self-esteem yourself. Encourage them to strive for more and if they fail, praise them for the effort.
I was typically reprimanded for doing anything that wasn't part of the military regiment my brother and I called childhood, and as a result, I spent most of my time at school. In fact, I never missed a single day of school until my senior year in high school. I excelled educationally, but I truly lacked any semblance of self-esteem.
It took years of failing myself befo
Day 1 - Be Good To Your Child's Mom 2007-08-01 18:01:53 THE first tip in the 31 days to becoming a better dad is to be good to your child's mom.
As someone who has gone through some extreme ups and downs with his child's mom, I can attest to the power of taking the high road. In fact, our relationship is the inspiration for this blog. I have made many mistakes as a father myself, but I have grown dramatically over the 11 years of my oldest daughter's life.
I can't say the same for her. Sadly, she has chosen to use the lack of having her own father in her life as an excuse to remain stagnant. Sometimes I think that's what she wants for our daughter, but I won't let it happen. Instead, I've been proactive in gaining custody and playing the largest role possible.
Through it all, I never have a bad word to say about her and I remind our girls to always love and respect their mother. I even go so far as to take her out for Mother's Day and give the kids presents to give her for other holidays. As a result, the past stays in the
31 Days To Being A Better Dad 2007-08-01 17:17:47 AS a loyal reader of Darren Rowse's Problogger.net, I try to participate as much as possible in the community building projects he runs. This month, Darren's focus is on helping others build a better blog in 31 days.
It's hard for a site dedicated to fathers instead of one focused on blogging to participate sometimes, but I had already planned on dedicating a month to becoming a better dad so why not now?
For the next 31 days, I will be posting a tip a day on how to be the best dad you can be in addition to maintaining my regular posting schedule. As always, reader feedback and participation is highly encouraged so please do not hesitate to add your two cents, offer more advice or tell me how absurd I am.
Day 4 - Protect Your Children 2007-08-04 02:16:25 THE fourth tip in the 31 days to becoming a better dad is to protect your children.
Protect
ing your children doesn't just mean putting a roof over their head to shield them from the elements. It includes helping them steer clear of harmful relationships, helping them understand the dangers of drugs and alcohol, being aware of harmful toys and taking appropriate action when you are aware of these dangers. It also means preparing them to make their own decisions when dangers face them when they are on their own.
Your children will always be your children - parenting is a life long job. Even as adults we may not be aware of some of the dangers in life because we were not properly prepared. For example, growing up in an alcoholic home, I abused alcohol for some years of my life because I was not properly prepared to see alcohol as a dangerous thing. I was led to believe drinking a lot was a normal part of life and it cost me and my family in many ways.
By no means do I think it' Read more:Children
Blog Marketing 2007-08-04 00:11:54 I'VE been thinking about doing a little more marketing for the blog, but as a parenting blog, it's difficult to participate in the many blog projects around the internet. Ironically, my post on using Myspace to market your blog or business has been one of the most popular posts since it was published.
So, I've decided to do a little more community participation, this time in a project called Fair Review Friday. The idea is to choose a blog from a list, review it and then receive a review from another blogger of your site. For this project, I have chosen to review Infektia.net.
Infektia.net is a blog run by Malin, a 22-year-old Swede with a 4-legged black son and soft, white toilet paper.
Her site is about blogging and her feelings about thought-provoking photos like "I Want Change", but my favorite part is her 4 Books Battle feature. As an avid book reader, I can appreciate not only her joy of reading, but her penchant for rating and ranking the books she reads. I tend to rank Read more:Blog Marketing
, Marketing
Fun Food Friday - Vol. 2 2007-08-03 04:02:26 DO your children eat the vegetables you put on their plates at dinner time? If not, there is a sure fire way to get them to start. Simply hide them in foods they do like.
Today's post will look at some recipes you can make that the kids will love and they all include vegetables. These recipes are so good, they may not even know there are vegetables in them!
1. Chicken Noodle and Corn Soup
You will need:
* 1 Can of Cream of Chicken Soup
* 1 Can of Creamed Corn
* 1 Packet of Chicken Noodle Soup Mix
* 1 Can of Milk (use same can from soup)
* 2 Cans of Water
COMBINE the chicken soup, creamed corn, water and milk into a medium-sized saucepan. Once the mix begins to BOIL, add the soup mix and simmer for about ten minutes. STIR regularly so the noodles don't stick. Serve and enjoy.
2. Chicken and Corn Meatballs
You will need:
* 1 Lb. Chicken Mince
* 8 oz. Can of Creamed Corn
* 1 Cup of Bread Crumbs
* Two teaspoons of Olive Oil
* Salt and Pepper
COMBINE and mix chicken, corn and brea Read more:Friday
Day 3 - Be Good To Yourself 2007-08-03 02:54:50 THE third tip in the 31 days to becoming a better dad is to be good to yourself.
Treating your children's mother is important in showing your kids that she is a valuable person worthy of love, but if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be around long enough to see how things turn out.
After my relationship with my kid's mom ended, I went into a downward spiral for several years. Between drinking, neglecting my university studies, separating further from my parents and hanging out with the wrong crowds, there was very little joy in my life. It was as if not having my daughter in my life made life not worth living. Fast forward a few years, and life couldn't be much better.
I have my kids back in my life, I'm much closer to my parents, I've rid myself of fake friends, I graduated college and am now using my skills in my own business and I appreciate every single day. Of course there are still peaks and valleys in life, but now that I treat myself properly, the valleys Read more:Yourself
Great Educational Toy For Your Newborn 2007-08-02 22:27:52 IT'S said that early learning and stimulation can account for up to 15% of an infant's potential IQ. One way to increase this number is to find toys designed specifically for infants. One such toy is the I Qube Educational
Toy from Baby Smart Start.
If the testimonials have any validity, the I Qube performs very well at keeping your baby's attention and focus. According to the site, it also:
* Reduces your newborn baby's weight loss
* Speeds your baby's growth
* Accelerates your baby's muscle control
* Accelerates your baby's hand-eye coordination
* Develops your baby's curiosity
* Develops your baby's attention span
* Makes your baby more content and secure
* Develops your baby's IQ potential by as much as 30 points
If even one of these points is true, the I Qube is well worth the $5 Baby Smart Start charges. To top it off, shipping is free and is made from recycled and non-toxic materials.
DAD TALK
* How important do you think the first year Read more:Newborn
, Great
Day 8 - Say No...In Moderation 2007-08-08 10:27:28 THE eighth tip in the 31 days to becoming a better dad is to say "no".
I hate to tell you dads, but it's our job to put the foot down. No matter how easy life is, it's still "no" 50% of the time. Lights turn red. It rains unexpectedly. People you like, don't like you. That's life.
When we give our children everything without teaching them the flip side, we are setting them up for a rough reality later on. When we teach them that there are boundaries to everything, they learn to enjoy things in moderation instead of excess.
As the father of three little girls, I have a hard time saying "no" sometimes myself, but I have a line. I think too many "no's" is stifling, so I have a pretty flexible line.
Often, I'll use that leniency to teach them a lesson I otherwise may not have had a chance to. After all, guiding them through a mistake after the fact is a far more educational tactic than "see, I told you so" or getting mad.
DAD TALK
* How much freedom did you have as a child t Read more:Moderation
5 Tips For Setting Your Priorities 2007-08-08 00:05:14 ONE of the hardest things to do as a stay-at-home-dad is to set your priorities. When you have a job outside the home, it is automatically a top priority. Not making it so would likely result in losing your job.
Inevitably, making money is going to be a high priority for all of us. It's what allows us to put all our other priorities into perspective. In a sense, the better our financial situations are, the better we can prioritize the other areas of our lives.
For me, it's not so much about making money as building tools and services that not only help others, but help myself, as well. For example, I started Dadviser in an effort to inspire fathers to be better fathers, which in turn helps me be a better dad. Being a better dad is such a high priority for me that I actually write for another fathering blog.
For the majority of my life, I didn't understand my priorities very well, and as a result, I wasn't very happy. When all our priorities have equal importance, it's hard to Read more:Setting
How To Use Netvibes To Market Your Business Or Website And Save Time Doing It 2007-08-07 04:34:58 LITTLE did I know a year and a half ago when I started using a new home page that I had one of the most powerful marketing tools I've ever used right in my browser.
Netvibes
is an AJAX-enabled start page that lets you put all your favorite RSS feeds and widgets of popular sites like Myspace, Facebook, Answers and Gmail in one place.
From the moment I started using it, I was thrilled. I eagerly put a widget of all my favorite bookmarks on my page (no more drop down menus!), as well as my email account, calendar and to-do lists. It was clear immediately that Netvibes could save at least an hour a day by letting you access all your favorite web properties quickly and easily.
Back then, I made my living selling wholesale items on eBay, so saving an hour a day was more than enough to convince me to dump my internet training wheels, My Yahoo.
Though saving time was great, it wasn't until I had decided to start my own marketing company and delve into the world of blogging that I began to Read more:Market
, Business
What Do You Think Of Webkinz? 2007-08-06 14:53:42 THIS week's poll question is about Webkinz.
By now, I'm sure most people have heard of these things, but I'm not sure everyone knows how they work. What appear to be cute, cuddly stuffed animals are really a one year restricted access pass into a hugely popular social networking sites for kids.
Using the access code that comes attached to each Webkinz, children enter a world to themselves, where keeping up with the Joneses is the name of the game. In order to gain access to more popular areas, it'll cost you another Webkinz or it's equivalent in electric bills as users earn virtual money playing games and answering quizzes.
As a marketer, I have to give Ganz, the maker of Webkinz, a lot of credit. That it preys on children and leverages many parents' inability to say no to their children makes me a bit nervous.
Marketing to children is tried and true, but as a father, I don't find it very honorable and will probably not be having any Webkinz in my house.
My oldest daughte
Day 5 - Learn New Things 2007-08-04 11:56:05 THE fifth tip in the 31 days to becoming a better dad is to learn new things.
Learning new things inspires your children to do the same. Optimally, this would lead to either of you discovering your true passions in life, but even at minimum it will result in a better you.
Learning new things inspires us to do more. The more qualified we feel in a subject, the more likely we are to get over our fears and do it. This again will teach our children to take the chances necessary to achieve happiness in life.
Learning new things will also allow you many more opportunities with your children discovering new things together. In discovery, there is magic that creates moments that you and your children will cherish forever.
"One father is more than a hundred Schoolmasters."
- George Herbert (1593 - 1633) English poet
DAD TALK
* Is learning new things a high priority to you?
* Do you want it to be a high priority for your children?
* Is it?
Day 10 - Spend Time With Your Children 2007-08-10 23:20:07 THE tenth tip in the 31 days to becoming a better dad is to spend your time with your children.
I have talked about spending quality time with your children before, but it really cannot be stressed enough how important it is to spend your free time with your children.
Life is busy, and as such, we have very little disposable time. The time fathers do have, they need to commit to their children. Let's be honest, your kids would basically prefer you not work and stay home with them all the time. When the majority of the hours in your week are spent at the office, they look forward to the time you get home from work, weekends and holidays.
When you don't spend this time with your children, they start to believe they are not as important as other priorities in your life. Children
come to understand that work is a given, but they will never understand why daddy can't play with them when he finally is home.
Spending your free time with your children will build the bonds between you a
Finding Your Niche 2007-08-09 23:27:55 NICHE blogging, while difficult and frustrating at times, is a truly rewarding experience. It's difficult because there is always so much more to talk about. It's frustrating because you know you could get more readers if you just branched out a little more. The dreaded thin line.
But it's also richly rewarding because you connect with the people you set to connect with when you created your blog. There may be fewer readers, but they are more passionate about your topic, almost as much or more than you. That connection is what blogging is all about.
Today I ran across a blog called Blogging Fingers. In a post about niche blogging, Matt, the author, talks about knowing your niche and gives some strategies for success.
Knowing your audience - Matt believes it's vital to know your audience before you ever start writing your content. For the most part, I'd agree, but sometimes there's reward in letting your audience tell you who they are and then building your future content to
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