Owner: Engrish 101 URL:http://engrish101.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007 03:19:57 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: There are 2 engrish teachers here. We both are very gentlemen engrishmen. We are missionaries (not position in karmasutra) for Engrishism and in making engrish as 1st language. Site statistics:Click here
Hippo fight 2007-06-14 01:55:00 This unker told me that when he was in Saut Afrika see crocodile with Mr. Bradee Bar, they were attacked by this giant hippo. He said the hippo is as big as your momma. The hippo came so fast, they were unable to run animore. So Brad said " die mar die la". "I INSIST! I gonna fight
back!" the unker shouted out loud. Woosh! the hippo open mouth so big wanna bite them.Then unker act HERO, he said "lucky I watch Nasional Jografic, watch me Brad". So this unker mar open his mouth also and "mouthfight" with the hippo. Just like what you see on TV.They actually escaped the danger, because unker managed to fight off the hippo. Wow! unker so stlong. Hippo
also scared of him and I think crocodile also run. At first, I don't believe what he said one so I just pretend I'm so interested la. Mana tau he got angry because I don't believe him. So this is what he did before I blacked out.http://engrish101.blogspot.com/atom.xml
To I Let is a happy place 2007-06-13 22:49:00 Another Engrish time! As promised its going to be full of crap! Oh yeah! This time is not frozen and refrigerated but its flesh flesh one! Don't worree. Its not that expandseef anyway! Oh kay, since we're so into crap today. Let us walk walk see see happy happy something similar which is the 'to i let' that will make u go arhhhhhh~.This 'to i let' is super good. Because it gifts you motivation. If you pee for 20 seconds, then you got 20 seconds motivation. If you pee for 5 seconds those, then sorry la hah. But still 5 seconds of motivation is better than none, rite? But i think horh, everybody will fight to pee at one spot. So please take turn yah. I know avbodi wants to go arhhhhhhhh also but patience is virtue ma. When are we going to get 'to i lets' like this. It makes poo poo and pee pee so much happier horh. If everyday one fella come up to me and tell me ' Wuah!! Your one so big! Unbelievable!', wouldn't the world be a brighter place. So now you know what to do la.
Happy Graduation! 2007-06-13 21:51:00 Graduation day~ is the action of receiving or conferring an academic degree or the associated ceremony. The date of event is often called degree day. The event itself is also called commencement, convocation or invocation. In the United States and Canada, it is also used to refer to the advancement from a primary or secondary school level. Many colleges have different traditions associated with the graduation ceremony, the best-known probably being throwing mortarboards in the air.This day is very the happy one for all graduants. Study so hard (ahem) finally get to graduate, happy right? People likes to take alot of photos in graduation day. 90% wear their gowns at home, posing in front of the mirror. Wah, anticipating the "big" day. Some people say its good to graduate so can move on to the working life, some hate it because they feel their happy days is over. In college, parents pay for everything. No worries. Now, so many things come knocking..loans, petrol, ciggy, food, leisure and Read more:Happy
Give a dog or a cat a home today! 2007-06-13 21:02:00 Dear all,Do you like pets? or have a heart to keep them? You don't need to save up your pocket money to get a pedigree or a fancy breed. Why not adopt em'? Aren't they cute?Pets and humans each often contribute toward the happiness of the other in a pet relationship. Having a pet or being a pet may promote a longer, happier life.Their options are running out and they’re hoping that they don’t have to exercise sending them to the shelters only to be put down. So what are you waiting for?Please visit the adoption location stated below. You'll see there's a need to save em'. Make them a companion, love and care for em'. Adopt one today! ADOPTION LOCATION. HARTAMAS SHOPPING CENTRE, Plaza Damas.Every Saturday from 12 noon to 5 pm.Find them next to Starbucks.Here's a video clip for all dog lovers around the world. Go give a big kiss to your dog after this. To those prospective pet owners out there, think no more, go get one NOW!http://engris
This is Spartaaa! 2007-06-13 03:13:00 Do you know what movie is this? familiar anot?What can we learn from "300" ?This movie, affects many people's life. It can change a person forever. Hmm..I smell Oscar!! and Nobel Prize! Have a look at these video clips.Vote "300" for the most influential movie ever! Now, unleash the Spartan spirit in you and do what you feel like doing.http://engrish101.blogspot.com/atom.xml
Well cum to Engrish! 2007-06-12 00:20:00 Rite. First things first. Well cum to our very own Engrish
class. Asking us about the very reason the blog is created. Well, there is no reason at all. Ok larh, since everybody needs a reason to blog. I guess our main reason is for the world. World piss peace. So now our main is to stop AIDS by spraying our love eternally. I would not go into details what kind of spraying technique you would want to use. But as long as accurate then its all good!And i hope you do realize that I actually used the word our blog. Because, I'm not talking as in the blog belongs to you! But its a courtesy of me and my friend to come up with good read for the day. Not here to spoil and pollute your young and naive mind. We're here to provide you with good protein of the day. Hence, a crap a day, brightens up your day. Prease harh! Crap is high in protein and good for health, oh right!Sit back, relaxing, take it easy easy. Engrish lesson going to start soon. Most of the construksion work is going on. So if
Love is in the air 2007-06-15 23:54:00 Good afternoon stewlens! Todays lesson is meaningful, touching and noble. We're going to learn the real meaning of love. I had a dream last night, I think God wants me to spread this message to the people out there that 'love is in the air'. I'm going to teech you a few good words on this wonderful 'after the afternoon'.Firstly,pece (noun); Its a state of mutual harmonee, opposite of piss.Example; I am piss but after a good sleep, now pece adee.Now after you know the pece, I'm gonna teach u the word 'gay'. Gay is spesial, it has 2 beautyfuru meaning.Gay (noun);1. two guy lap lap one another, physically, emotionally and mentally ; 2. very lively, happy and jollyExample; Those two(1.) gays that make lap on the beach looks gay(2.) horh.So after learning this two beautyfuru words, I'm here to tell you flom today onwards. No more war. Even if they have war, its is gonna be a laply war. You ask me why? Because av bodi is going to feel more gay(1,2.)ful after t
Fashion Tip - The Camel Toe 2007-06-14 22:28:00 Boys and girls! are you into NEW fashion? then do you know what is the latest and most happening one? I bet some know and some still don't know. Lemme tell you what is it the new fashion. Have you heard people saying " Wah, camel toe! chun la!"?? Some will say "oh, the camel's toe is it, i saw it in the Zoo Negra"I met one guy, he took off his shoes and show everybody his camel toe. So, i snapped his toe picture to show you all, BUT this is not the camel toe fashion OK!Camel
toe fashion like this one, see pictures below, even celebrities wear it. Nice or not? next time cannot complain say nobody looking at you even when you wear designer clothes. This camel toe cup fits in all tight outfit one. The tighter the better.Maria won the Wimbledon also because of this camel toe cup, she got many unforced error also become unforced winner by the umpire. For those working people, you will get promotion very soon also. So who wants to order or not? I try to get bulk purchases.Here I present y Read more:Fashion
Eat, ate and eating with Love 2007-06-14 22:14:00 Wanna have some cock? Eh eh, you all don't liddat can or not? Not my kok lah. What?!! Not yours also la. I am talking real! There is this restaurant in Korlia, in Kwangju. So I thought ok lor, name strange only mah. Then after that I start to think again. What are they serving? They serve kok-flavored food? Or food looking like kok? Or food served for kok? I only heard some girl giggling after coming out from the resta and say the Korlian sausage taste damn good. So the next time whoever is there, prease tell me ahh!Maybe this?Korlians are great! But thats before you see what our neighbor friend has to offer. I show u teaser first.Its a plastic, its a transparent fake bleast, no!, its a condorm. Haha. This one is a restaurant at Tiger city (Tigerland). Now after looking at the picture, i quite pity the guy, he look like he's gonna suffocate d. I go interbiew him. Ask him how he feel working there.Engrish Teacher: Hi condorm man. How is working here? Tell us abit about how you feel.Co Read more:eating
Military Chicks 2007-06-19 22:40:00 How many of y0u have at least, thought once in your life to be a soldier? I have. I thought it was cool, manly, majio and you know, chickens chicks usually fall for those attributes. I know it sounds like a fantasee but again, it differs from people to people larh. Some wants to plotek the Mehsia. But as you grow up with bribry, coffee money, and a pretty much sucky gahmen. You thought to yourself, "Aiyah, proteck myself better larh".I'm here to tell you that you are wrong! No, you're not wrong about proteckting yourself. Its just I found a new meaning to becuming becoming a soldier. I won't tell you why. I show you why. How about that? Not bad rite? Now show you some office military chicks. When you see her, I guarantee you will sign up as to be a soldier. You otomatick cum come! What? I cannot hear you? You want some more? Don't have dee la. I hafto purposely get 'close' to the military guys to get hold onto these pictures wan kay. Not easy! So you better say thank you loud lou Read more:Chicks
, Military
Pimp My Bride Part 2 2007-06-19 21:17:00 Okay, today I'll continue with the sequel to Pimp My Bride
. Now that your bride is pimped up, This shop also provide the mean ride. Your bride looks so good, you'll definitely need a nice wedding car.This car above is the latest modded car, like you see on TV one, the fast and furious car. It has a new 20" sport-rims, IKEA pine wood spoiler, and SinChewJitPoh GT rear bumper (Imported) and Hyper Ultra C-Board side skirt.This one very mean, your wedding sure happening. Look at the wheels! the duo-colour ACE sport-rims from Indonesia. The Zimen Killer exhaust muffler which many animals will make it their home (free chargrilled food). Then there is the double tripods spoiler, which can also serves as antenna to get radio coverage from Mars. When you see those sport cars with ventilated hoods, turbo-charged engines and NOS. This car has it all and more. Front hood is fixed with a bazooka compressor which can suck in air thus increase horsepower. To make it looks more like a wedding car, t
Miko, please come home 2007-06-18 21:53:00 This is perhaps the most non funny and non humorous post you'll see from your Engrish teacher but everyone has their ups and downs? And coincidentally its a downhill day today. Perhaps by now, you will start to wonder and make guessing who or what exactly is Miko? Miko is a bichon maltese mix. He's such a cutie. Thats when he was months old.Everyone in the family loves him. Such an adorable deary that fits just right in your palm. Whose bark would not scare a chick away. Thats just Miko. You remember the nights when he would snuggle with you in bed, creating warmth by rubbing his body against yours under the comforter and a coll, chilling night. You remember the days when you would just wake up on a rainy day with an umbrella to his cage, just to check if he's doing alright. The days when he would jump and bark like a crazy dog, wagging his tail as though it was on some automated wagging machine when you were back from school.The days when you couldn't sleep yourself when he's si
Pimp My Bride Part 1 2007-06-18 21:49:00 One day, I received this flyer on this bridal shop. The shop is called "Pimp My Bride
". Wow, i was so curious, so I decided to check it out so I go to the shop la. When I was there, the salesman showed me alot of design samples. Hmm.. I thought " I'll be spoilt for choice" if I were to choose a wedding dress for my bride. There are so many attractive designs.I was looking through the sample designs and I selected their best ones to show you guys. You can custom-made according to your preference, but I don't think it's necessary since there is so many categories.Football LoverConservative yet trendyThe Swimsuit EditionHah...if all these still not enough, you want to add more accessories also can. You can attach an LCD flat screen at the back of your bride. Nice or not? During the wedding ceremony, you can play PS2 on it. What an invention!I'll continue this on the Part 2, there'll be more on the wedding ride and the location.http://engrish101.blogspot.com/atom.xml
Lets go LEGO 2007-06-17 23:27:00 Do you remember the days when you were young and your dad comes home with a Toys"R"US plastic bag, we would be jumping in joy, and waiting to take down our dad like a hungry lion and just grab the plastic bag, quickly to see whats inside? Yes, those were the days.Finding out that inside the plastic bags were only his office documents make you cry. But finding a box of stupid dismantled Legos make u smile. I guess most of the children was, were and are going to be born with Lego. If not the original Lego, some celup brand will do la. Ligo or whatever, doesn't matter la. Same concept.Same goes with me. I was once flooded with Lego. Being able to make a cube out of a Lego puts a smile on my face. To me, it was a big achievement. Not that I can't do anything better in life, but in life it starts with small achievement rite? Even if it were 'that' small.But today, Lego is taken to another level. Not only children plays it. Big people also playing Lego. And let me show you some the amazi
Caturday, yet? 2007-06-17 21:57:00 Manday, Tiusday, Venusday, Thirsday, Friday, Saterday, Sunday, CATURDAY!? One week got 7 days only right? So what is Caturday!? Hah..dunno right? lemme explain. Caturday also known as cats' day. On Caturday, cats don't have to be cats. Meaning is, cats are still cats but they are not cats on Caturday unlike any other days when cats are cats. Cats love Caturday because they can do what humans do.On Caturday, cats party all day and night. They also commit to crimes like robberies, rapes, murders and they take drugs. We have a snapshots of cats on Caturday.Cats are getting really high and crime rates are increasing on Caturday. So the US of A sends their finest Afbeeyai agent to monitor the cats. Agent Poomy was sent to spy on the cat's kingpin, Mr. Xerxes, the Persian.It wasn't too long before Agent Poomy was discovered and punished the Caturday's way. Although Caturday is not in the calendar anymore, but some say it still exist. Believe it or not? it's up to you.http://engrish101.
Girls, uniform please? 2007-06-22 01:05:00 Heylo stewlens. Today i'm introducing fashion tips that existed all along. Fashion tips that are so powerful, it'll make changes in some part of our life. I'm pretty sure all guys, if not all, most guys minus the gays have do have fantasies of woman in uniform. Whats the first uniform than plays around your mind? We'll see.Now it works the same way with girls as well. They enjoy having/looking/tasting man with uniform. Man in tight, body hugging, wet tees. Okay, lets stop imagining. So lets see if what I show you fits your fantasy.Firstly, definitely the barney girl outfit. Oops, Barney Bunny girl outfit, made popular by the playboy is a hawt hawt sexy icon around the world. Chicks in Las Vegas has them on, chicks in pubs has them on, and I know you want your partner to have them on as well. Only suitable for pear-shaped, hourglass body. Black stockings, bunny ears and the fluffy-balled tail. Gosh *squeeze squeeze*!Next in line, the ever so popular nurse uniform. Its a moment in yo Read more:Girls
Yummmmmmmmmmm SENG!! 2007-06-21 23:02:00 What is this? another fashion tip post? NO!, its not about hairstail or fashion. Remember those days back in your college life when you have had too many pints of alcoholic beverage, party too hard and got yourself knocked out unconscious? Reminisce...for those underage, don't say I never warn you arh!Why people love to hate drunkard? easy... for some, drunkard may be a nuisance, abusive and out of their mind but there is also some people which find happiness and joy in decorating these drunkards. Here are some examples of their artistic work.Nice or not? now you see drunkards are like dead people. They don't move until they wake up from the coma situation. How do you feel if you are the artist? or the masterpiece? You have your decision. :) Besides this, in college life you will never love your birthday like you used to, and sometimes you'll even wish you weren't born or your birthday falls on college breaks. Your most celebrated day will be your worst nightmare. Imagine being wra
Today is a Busyday 2007-06-20 21:12:00 Good morning students!, today teachar very not free, because have alot of things to do. I see last time in school also when a teachar is not free, he or she will give some work and write something on the board for you to copy. Some even bring you to the library and watch Nasional Geografic. So nice if they play AV instead. Dream on!, come now I've prepared 2 Engrish clips for you to watch. Make sure you watch and I'll ask you questions when I see you tomorrow.Homework 1Homework 2Yay! finally I can leave my work here to go play.....errr NOTHING! I mean see outside got aeroplayne. Buhbye!~http://engrish101.blogspot.com/atom.xml Read more:Today
When animals sleep around 2007-06-26 23:43:00 Humans and animals fuck. Gosh, too direct. Okay, human and animals do mate. I've been thinking about this for a while now. But it strikes me again today. As my friend told me that he saw a dog fucking a cat near his house. What would the cat give birth to if its pregnant? Would it turn out to be a dog+cat=dogcat?(male to be name first) To be honest, I don't know. Is it possible? Don't know either.Not long ago, we had these news of a Sudan man marrying a goat after they caught him fucking a goat. And he was forced to marry the goat. Very well, we thought it was hilarious and the end of the news. Months later we are hit by the another news that his goat partner matied/dieded after choking on a plastic bag. Hilarious again, but the thing that caught my attention that they actually have a kid(baby goat). Not human kid. So man+goat=goat kid. Most of us would thought that it would be some human goat. Or talking goat of some sort. So does hybrid exists? Between animals of different species
Happy Birthday 2007-06-25 20:57:00 Happy Birthday
! Are birthdays supposed to be a happy one. Or is it just because its been associated with the word 'happy' therefore we should be happy. Or are we just trying to hard to be happy. But birthday are definitely occasions when you feel like the world is feeling you. I'm not trying to be all Shakespearian over here but when I was driving to work this morning. I felt that the blend of the grayish blue sky acknowledges my birthday. The wind was singing a rhythm of their own and it was all soothing but hollow at the same time, knowing that was a gap to fill. There was some emptiness and there was joy. God, I love the mornings.Days when they thought we were too young for pornography. And days when you were too old sitting at the couch with cereals in your hand watching Spongebob and giggling away. Birthday carries different meaning for every single person.There were those who are filled with joy and love. Those who are sad remembering someone, something and those who are lone Read more:Happy
, Happy Birthday
Evolution of massage 2007-06-24 07:04:00 Massage was always to be considered a applying pressure or motion manually with your hands or with mechanical aids. We've always wanted a good massage after a long day work. Its a good way to release all the stress/pain and improves blood circulation. A thing you can't miss in Tigerland and Barley, Indonesia. Amazing what a massage can do for you.And massage are also associated with 'hamsap lous' (lewd guys) going for some physical touchy with the massage chicks. Some go for guys as well. Not all, but some. And from there onwards, we have foot massage, ear massage, handjob massage and so on. Did I just say handjob? Oh well, yeah. It has pretty much evolve isn't it. And in the market there are players like OSIM and OGAWA to replace chicks and hunks with machines. It can cost up to 10k for one.You want Russian/Tigerland/Chinese lady also no problemo. Because service is goodie good. Now there is also restaurant type massage coming up. After you massage got free soup wan. Wah! Unberif Read more:Evolution
Of Gays and Lesbians 2007-06-23 01:49:00 Nah nah nah! Don't say Engrish Teacher is trying to discriminate, because I'm not. I have my own gay and lesbian friends as well. And I'm all cool with that, but 'you can't touch this'(MC Hammer). Don't touchy touchy me, and I'm allll good. Todays lesson, there is one assumption that was with me all the while. I do not know about you, but me, I always had this mindset that gays are good looking/handsome/sexy and lesbians would be hot/pretty/sexy. But is that really the case? How often do you see fugly gays holding hands, doing a French in front of you?D&G even had this gay themed ad. So much for the gay spenders out there but the question that we really have in mind today is, are all or most of the gays really that good looking/handsome?Don't believe me? Hit to the nearest gay bar you know. If you don't know, drop me an email. I'll tell you where it is. And you go and have a look for yourself. Don't ask me to go there with you. Cos I don't feel save. Not a single bit. You
Emergency Post 2007-06-30 23:34:00 Super kanjiong, super anxious, super fast post. No time to check or even read through. This post is going to be an emergency one. A real, real emergency. I believe everyone of you sure got emergency time one.Example 1; Watching porn in the hall with surround sound system. Damn syiok. Suddenly parents come home.Emergency
1; At the nick of the moment, you would be in an emergency state where desicion have to made immediately such as turning off the main power supply.Even I had my own emergency moment as mentioned in 'Example 1'. :P I believe everyone has. Nowadays the society also help us to build a solution for us to react to any sorts of emergency. Or maybe its for deco purposes wan larh.Engrish emergency ass on, don't touch.Too many people misuse the emergency button already, thats why now governments are working hand in hand to play back the public.But among all the emergency signs, our beloved China pride, mother of all pirated things on earth is the greatest among all. They are
Guys and Girls play with dolls 2007-06-29 00:29:00 Its a common sight to see girls with Barbie dolls when we were young. Some still play them when they're old. They change their Barbie's clothe, comb her hair, give her a nice bath and then bring her go 'pak toh' with Ken is his stupid toy Mercidis. We boys would just tease them. Yerr, you play with 'babi' wan ah. We guys play with guns, cars and majio majio stuffs like Transformers(by the way, the movie was great), spy gadgets and stuff. Cmon larh, thats what a real man should be. Or at least when we were young, thats what a 'man wannabe' should be.But I was totally wrong. When I walk walk see see in Yeah-pan! Got one man approach me, ask me wanna buy doll onot. I thought he must be outta his mind? Do I look like a man with daughter or do I look like a sissy that plays around with doll. Okay, I know I look like one. Haha.After he showed me the catalog, I stopped walking and asked him 'Boss, can view the real thing ah?'. The thing is fuckable playable dolls are becoming a hype Read more:Girls
Dinner in the Sky 2007-06-28 22:37:00 Ok stewlens, I tell you this story when I was in Belgium. This place they called it Brussels, not a vegetable. It's like Kola Lumpor to Mehsia la. So I was with this kwai lo friend of mine, we are so hungry and was looking for a place to dine. We walk here and there also same boring restaurant. I know we hungry la but still we don't simply eat anywhere one ok. You think we so simply?So, while walking around in the city, suddenly rain wor. BUT WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WET? then I looked up, I see this crane with a big carriage thing.Wow! what's that?! and why I smell like pee? Then this guy came to us and asked if both of us wants to join in their group for the next session. He told us, it was actually called "Dinner
in the SKY". It's a restaurant which serves up to 22 people at a session and up to 8 hours where you can dine in the sky. And THAT is something that we are looking for! so we agreed.I very sexcited excited when I finally aboard the "restaurant". There is one cunt chun chic
Spinning girl illusion 2007-06-28 01:06:00 This girl is driving me nuts! My eyes are locked on her and I'm gonna go all crazy because of her. Why did she do that? What is she trying to prove? What is she trying to do?What?! No, I'm not depressed in a relationship. I'm talking about this lady spinning illusion
. Tell me, what did you see? A girl spinning clockwise? Right? No, you're wrong! She's spinning anti clockwise. Okay, thats not a perfect answer. She spins wherever you want her to.Try this. Focus on her shadow/reflection below her. Now picture her spinning the other way. Opposite of what you're seeing now. Can you see her spinning a different direction? How long does it take you to see it? Gosh, I'm going nuts.If anybody knows the mechanics behind this, do let me know. I'm getting some rest. She's totally fucking my brains up.http://engrish101.blogspot.com/atom.xml
Racism and Stereotypes 2007-06-27 22:00:00 First and foremost, I would like to ask : are you a racist? If so, why do you differentiate them? Well...Yes, how do a child born a racist? Environment? Family? Friends?"Studies going back over 50 years have repeatedly arrived at the same conclusion -- racists have lower IQs than non-racists. The average intelligence quotient (IQ) of all members of the human race is 100 on the Stanford-Binet scale, as illustrated in the bell curves in the figure below. The average IQ of racists is up to 4 IQ points less than this (Montagu 1952 & 1988, Allport 1946, Frenkel-Brunswick and Sanford 1945). The reasons this is true are not entirely clear. Does racism attract the unintelligent or do the unintelligent default into racist mentalities? An exploration of this phenomenon can be most informative."Can you see now, do you want to be a racist? If Racism
is a religion and Racist is a race itself, should we discriminate them?Look at this picture. What can you see?Lovely right? Unity and peace. If YOU ar Read more:Stereotypes
Ronaldinho Who? 2007-07-04 02:01:00 Due to the top stewlen's demand for football post, okay-ler here you go. Wanna ask you, how much do you know about football? All you guys know is Ronaldinho, Rooney, Beckham, Ronaldo, Dodo and etc etc. Ask you a question... who is the Greatest Football Entertainer in The World?A. RonaldinhoB. C.RonaldoC. Z.IbrahimovicD. Mr. WooWHO IS MR. WOO?? next door Ahpek ar?The answer is him lor, thats right Mr. Woo is the Greatest Football Entertainer in The World. No kidding ya, I take this from Wikipedia.Hee Young Woo, also known as Mr Woo, as he has become more popularly known, was born (November 13, 1963). He is a former South Korea football player. Born in Seoul, South Korea, at a very early age Woo realized he had football talent. Inspired by Diego Maradona and his unique ball control ability, Woo practiced and practiced to emulate the skill. Woo won a national football skills competition in Korea and decided he wanted to become a professional footballer. Woo achieved this in Korea and the
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