Owner: Engrish 101 URL:http://engrish101.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007 03:19:57 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: There are 2 engrish teachers here. We both are very gentlemen engrishmen. We are missionaries (not position in karmasutra) for Engrishism and in making engrish as 1st language. Site statistics:Click here
Crack your head lah! 2007-07-03 10:50:00 Okay. Today we have another quick short late night lesson. Notice how some people like to 'crick crack' their damn head from left to right as if they look damn majio or telling the world they have crackable head that makes crackable sound? Damn, they are stupid. But let me tell you, they won't be majio for long because doctors found that there are side effects to eat. Now you head crackers, die!I have to show you this panda cos this panda is a blardy pain in the ass. The China people already tried so hard to breed pandas by showing pandas porn movie(This is true) and at last gave birth to a panda, but a head cracking one. It now suffers from a permanent-head-tilting damage. See things also jacked up dee. It will happen to you if you the next time you 'crick crack' your head. You'll tend to see things strangely as well.Die or not?! So take off that bad habit.P/s:Actually I also 'crick crack' my head. Just got lectured from my mum. Damn tulan. So express abit. Haha. Damn. Crackin
Sweet dreams, chicken.. 2007-07-03 00:39:00 Aiyo! the neighbour's cock, i mean the chicken. It's so annoying la, keep coming into my yard and messed up my plants and shits all over. This is my neighbour and he's crazy. I heard he 's a yokozuna (sumo champion) and I don't wanna mess with him and er.. he loves his cock..the chicken!So, I decided to look for this ol' lady. Peeple says that she can solve any problem, just give her angpao will do. After I told her my problem, she asked her son to follow me back. At home, his son shows me the way to handle the cock (chicken!). You all wanna know how?Like this lorr...http://engrish101.blogspot.com/atom.xml Read more:Sweet
PRISON 101 - a special case study 2007-07-02 00:36:00 As you can see in the pictures below are would-be bandits Anthony Prince, 20, and Luke Carroll, 19. The men, both Australian residents who came to Vail to work during the ski season, pleaded guilty in June to the $130,000 heist, which they pulled off with the aid of unloaded BB guns.See that!? Nice pose or not? They are dubbed the "dumb and dumber" robbers and sentenced to 5 years jail.Before go to jail must know more about prison ok! Please click here for PRISON 101.Now, Let me briefly tell you about the best best prisons in the world.World's most valuable prison - San Quentin State Prison, California. Capacity 3317The land underneath 154yr old san quentin state prison is estimated to be worth $80 to $100 million, instantly making it the most valuable prison in the world. it occupies 275 acres of oceanfront land overlooking the bay, some say the most valuable real estate in the whole country. that got me thinking, what’s the insurance like on these places?World's smallest prison -
Boys and Cars 2007-07-01 20:51:00 Boys will be boys, and you may question what's their obsession with cars? You see, the process is a cycle itself. When you were born, you'll have your small toy car by your side. When you are "old" enough to know what car is, you'll get one which you can drive around, by pedalling of course.And when the car is getting too small for your size, you start collecting mini car models, like hot wheels especially. When you see a McD ads on TV about their latest toy car in Kiddy Set Meals, you keep pestering your parents to go there, ended up having McD as breakfast, lunch and dinner. Time flies, and now they even have a 2-gear mini car models in Ferrari.Then there are times when you are on the backseat looking out of the window when your dad is driving. You'll think your dad as Schumacher and you keep commenting as if its on the racetrack. "Oh, daddy overtook Proton BDU 1818 , nice turning here and there".. then you'll get bored and tired, you just look out of the window, thinking " when
Love is in the air? Smell it? No..that's fart! 2007-07-05 22:33:00 Yawn~~ today is a sleepy day. Let's discuss about feelings today. Happy, Sad, Angry..bla bla bla and what makes all these feelings? Hah...most critical one I can say is LOVE! people love to love, love to hate and some love to play with love. "I love you, you love me... no more?" Well, it's pretty normal that people fall in love and so it is to fade away.What I heard is, DO NOT say you love him/her forever if you have doubt about it. Be persistent in keeping a relationship? Perseverance is important. It's not wrong to love and to give up love on someone. What I would like to BOLD out here is that, be responsible! it may not have any effect on you. How about the other side? What comes around goes back around...err what goes around comes back around.. WHATEVER!Okay, this post is actually a dedication to our best buddy here, Miss Sven Sim (no affiliation with Sven-Goran Eriksson) ya!. This fella here is a pain in the arse, always don't listen to us! hah! LoL.. ok lar this is her post, Read more:Smell
Rappin' granny? Thrilling... 2007-07-04 22:21:00 Okay, toolay we talk about music. Do you like music? I personally love to listen to Maikel Jackson. His song and his dance moves very the mesmerizing la. I remember one song called "Thriller" by MJ. Fuuyooh... the song damn cunted chunted ler.. but I dont encourage piracy okay! Don't go download illegally yah.. and dont buy pirated ones. I know this ahbeng he go and buy pirated MTV dvd and you know what he got inside? Must see these videos below!! Highly recommended.Haha nice or not? Now everything also can already la.. even Lao Zha Bor also can RAP! show this clip to your grandmother. This is the "in" thing now mar..Now go get your lima puluh sen or M&M album and play it out loud.. Rap it with your grandmomma!For those still not enough with this granny
, you may visit her blog here. Respect! Special Announcement: Your other Engrish teacha is goin to Bali toolay.. so we'll wait and see what surprises he'll be bringin back next week.http://engrish101.blogspot.com/atom.xml Read more:Thrilling
Human Tetris Strikes Back! 2007-07-10 21:51:00 Do you remember when the tetris craze hits the town? It's when everyone got it! Anyone don't know shit about tetris please click here. Well, as time goes on, so is the tetris mania. It has declined and its out already. Who still plays it now? Why tetris when we have PSP? Well, Japanese are real good in bringing back the dead trend alive. Have a look at this clip below. Enjoy!http://engrish101.blogspot.com/atom.xml Read more:Tetris
, Strikes
Our very own MISS-es MALAYSIA! 2007-07-09 02:35:00 Now I present you our fu lovely MrsAuntie errr Miss Malaysia UluUniverse 2007! She is for real the winner of the competition, don't ask me why or "are you sure?" . Yes! I'm 100% sure eventho' I can't can believe it myself because she is so fu worthy to represent Malaysia. Come on, wack say HI to her when you see her around the shopping mall or anywhere. She's so fu chun that you'll go puke awww..when you see her.Lemme tell you about the situation when she got up to the stage during Miss Universe.*She walks to the front of the stage.Host: Now we have contestant no.2 from Malaysia, Miss Adelaine Chin.....aiks, Aunty where are you from? we're in the middle of the show, err please get back to your seat.Ade: What! I'm Miss Malaysia ok! so beauty you call me "aunty"? You BLIND ar!?Host: Malaysia is indeed a very small nation. Here she is, Mrs Miss Malaysia!Ade: Hi guys, I'm Adelaine and I'm from Malaysia. People here are friendly and humble, I was so shy when people call me " Lengl
Math is not so boring after all.. 2007-07-08 21:33:00 This morning when I was searching through my stuffs in the storeroom, I found alot of old things that makes me reminisce. There are bunny soft toy, X-men figurines, eraser collection, and exam papers. I looked at this particular math paper with such emotion that I feel like crying. It was legendary... such sweet memories..http://engrish101.blogspot.com/atom.xml Read more:boring
Rempit rempit Rempit! 2007-07-13 01:44:00 HOT! Interview with a real Mat Rempit. Real name will not be disclosed to protect Mr Malayneum from being attacked by other rempits. We managed to get him to answer a few questions.Q: What makes u wanna be a rempit?A: I want become a rempit because i want showoff that im best of the best. Also is a very competitive sport because lots of youth are doing it.Q: Under what influence? peer? family? love?A: No pressure,this what i can afford i dolah, not like rich people ,buy car then race when damage cost $$$$ enough to buy one bike.Q: What do u do for living? study? working?A: I study,hehe u must lurk moar to know where im studying.Q: What job? study wat?A: Hehe go search aroundQ: Do u have ambition?A: My ambition last time was stunt rider, but now i want i think i want open up a spare part shop lah which has nothing to do with my studies rclxub.gifQ: What do u think of this country? what can u do for the country?A: I think malaysia is the bestest country, i can contribute my country by be
Who you gonna call? McDonald's! 2007-07-17 22:58:00 What comes across your mind when you're at home and its a rainy day? Do you feel that its all relaxing and looking at the rain pouring down somehow settles down the rage inside you, making you feel all easy and relaxed. The rain are playing a melody of its own and the moment become somewhat romantic. Aww.. Okay, thats not me. I'm just saying some people feel that way. I'ma man okay!When it starts to rain, in the neighborhood,Who you gonna
call?McDonald
's.So for me, on a rainy day, the first thing that comes into my mind was to grab my phone and start dialing 1300 13 1300. Yes, the number for McDonald's delivery. Why? I don't know. I think my main reason is that if you want to pay for delivery, better make it worthwhile. Since for them, traveling under the rain would definitely be a challenge. Man, I'm evil.But seriously, how often do you use their delivery service. Are you glued to the chair or your face sticked to the tele in front of you? And believe me there are cases like th
Cultural learning of Bali 2007-07-17 09:11:00 Some of you may know that recently I've made a trip to Bali. Its for the 'Cultural
learning of Bali for make benefit the glorious nation of Malaysia'. Yeah Borat inspired. So lemme share some goodie good culture with you. Todays lesson would be on cultural learning la of course, you can't read the title? Okay, there was one fine afternoon where our taxi driver 'Wayan' brought us to the Bali Museum in Denpasar. Well, its a museum la. What do you expect from a museum right? They have artifacts, painting... ZzzBut I did not forget the purpose of my trip, which is a cultural learning trip. Just some quick and strange facts. Babies in Bali would not touch the ground before they are 3 months old. They believe that the evil spirit would reach to the babies, as evil spirit cannot jump, they only crawl. After that they have to live in a sangkar(cage) for some time before they can officially crawl around.So how? Malaysian babies not bad la huh. At least you got the freedom to crawl around
Welcome to Klang 2007-07-15 22:04:00 After writing for a while now, Engrish teachers have yet to write about the place they're from. The place they've grown up up and the place they call home. So let me bring you to have a look look see see at one of the most beautiful place on earth, Klang
. I'm not going to go all geographical about Klang. Waste of my finger's energy. The first phrase that are associated with Klang is definitely Bah Kut Teh(Meat Bone Tea). But today, I also don't want to talk about BKT.Anyway, lemme just show you the first BKT shop in Klang. We call it Kio Kar BKT(Under the bridge BKT).Now, I'll tell you some facts about Klang. Some undocumented real brutal facts.Many people regard Klang people as 'lala'. Yeah, guys and girls with Japanese sense of fashion but tak jadi. Gothic wannabe. Girls with polka dots and laces and takes pictures with the 'V' or peace sign. Guys with gold patches of hair like some dog just shitted on their head. In fact there are plenty of them all over in the streets of Read more:Welcome
Call at your own risk 2007-07-19 22:33:00 Today is not just another day. I'm scared. Hello? Hello? Hello?All that I could remember is that I black out after calling this number. I could listen to a voice putting me to sleep. She gently told me to let go. I don't know let go off what. I just feel really sleepy and I doze off. My girlfriend said I was mumbling 'Goodbye' in Mandarin. And she tried waking hard waking me up. After applying 'Minyak Cap Kapak' under my nostrils, I woke up blurry. Thats all that I can remember. I'm scared.Originally posted by Desmond, KLShe was saying 'Jai jian le' (Goodbye) and then she suddenly screams 'Pu yao ta lai le' (Don't call here anymore. I threw my phone and break it. Thats the last word and its echoing in my head now. Is there really such a person? Can someone tell me the truth?Originally posted by Kong, SabahShe's a nice girl. I talked to her a couple of times. She told me she was lonely and she just wanted someone to talk to. I thought, why not la huh. I'm alone sometimes a
Whats your ambition? 2007-07-18 22:48:00 When I was just a little girl boy,I ask my mother, what will I be?Will I be handsome? Will I be rich?I am handsome. Just not rich yet. :DEveryone has an ambition don't they? From great ambitions to lousy ones. When we were all in primary schools, even in the school form, we have to fill in our desired ambition. When i peeped at my other classmates form, it was all great ambitions, such as doctors, engineers, policeman, fireman and such. But none of them today are what they once desired to be. Losers! Haha.Because as we grow up. Jobs such as doctors and engineers seemed too far away and can be deemed as a dream for our current efforts in studying. And policeman and fireman is not suitable jobs for us in Boleh land. So they end up becoming something else. But not what they initially wanted to be. Is it because we were too young and naive?But I'm different. When I was younger and my parents asked me what I want to be when I grow up. 1 word just came out from my mouth, 'Boss'. I wanna
Is it Caturday already? 2007-07-18 07:21:00 Awww...it's been some time since our last Animal Planet topic. Well, it's time for some ass kickin' pussies cuties!Everybody loves pussy fightin' lalala..lalala.. err..WHAT I mean is cat!, okay? It's adorable, ain't it? Today I'm gonna tell you guys why cats are always being perceived as the villains? You see Sylvester, Tom, the Persian cats, the Siamese cats and many more in movies. Why can't they be good for once and let the tiny little mouse be the bad guy? Okay, you see... Caturday do exist and there's a reason why they've always been the bad guys. (refer to the post on Caturday, or go and search in the library ler)Every Caturday, they have this meeting. They actually wanna send their candidate for next general erection election. But firstly, they need to do some recruitment la.. like having some humans in their party. They know the rules in Mehsia, everything also must have quota one. So, as a friend, I help them to advertise la. Anyone wants to join Barisan Cational, p
Lets jump together gether 2007-07-25 01:08:00 When i say 'jump', what is the first comes across your mind? Is it the feeling that you're close to flying? Or are you scared, not knowing where you would land. Or perhaps you're thinking where would be the best place to jump from? What would it be? I felt like flying, well, when I was younger.Parents would just call us kids, monkey, jumping around doing nothing beneficial jumping around. Well, people call me monkey up till this very day, although I don't know why. There's so many things I've done in my younger days. I jump alot back then but, what about now? I don't anymore. You? Are we forgetting the art of jumping as we grow older? Or we simply just don't jump anymore because its not what adults do. Is the joy of jumping, being all happy and free not important to us anymore?Now, how many of you actually did that before? Jumping of a swinging swing. Those who have yet to try it before, let me tell you how it feels. You're feel all released, free, tenseless, stressless, hap Read more:together
Ass fingering (Finger in the ass) 2007-07-24 04:20:00 I know, I know. Imaginations are already running wild because the damn title is finger in the ass. Yeah, some might say that its not that high compared to some pussy cat fingering. But today's story to tell is indeed about finger up in the ass. And you get it wrong. Not a womans ass. But a man's ass. Well, we don't have much option right? Thats like the only hole below the waist for a man. (Ahem, starts talking the Uncle Sam way)So a couple my friends get together on a Saturday evening for a somewhat small college reunion talking about almost everything under the sun although the sun is going down already at that time. And we whine about whose job is tougher and we boast about who's earning more pay. We laughed hysterically at stupid statements and it was all good, UNTIL..One of my friends starts talking about having a finger in the ass. He said that you could have orgasm or ejaculation without stimulating your little bro. We were stoned for about 3.14 seconds and then we started
International Language 2007-07-27 00:46:00 International language. No its not any French, English or even the almighty Engrish. Not even my beloved Japanese. Huu huu. An international language is of course a language that is internationally known and recognize. The language that I'm talking about need not any conversation. Need not any form of communication. All you need is just to lift up your hand. Sign language? Yeah, sort of. But its not that complicated either.So people, let me introduce to you the most universal language ever created on planet earth. The global sign. The middle finger.It doesn't matter how old you start to flash 'the' fingers around. Its not that bad compared to flashing your 'love rod' around. So parents, its not exactly a bad thing. There are of course debates on the meaning of the middle finger. What does it means? Or what does it expresses?Most people feel that its offensive or it simply means 'Fuck you!'. But what I feel is that it can be expressed and received in many different forms of mess Read more:International
One word...ENJOY 2007-07-28 08:40:00 How's your weekend? Do you enjoy yourself?You should be! there must be a time when you just have to let yourself free and have fun! For me, college life is the best there is. You don't have to wait until the end of the week just to have some fun. You don't have to work all day long and worry about making mistakes. I wonder how true it is, but I do seem to appreciate and anticipate weekends more after i started my working life. Friday night seems so heavenly and things go in a direction you want it to be.I've had a great weekend, and I hope you guys have had a great one too! For those working class, please keep all your work aside and enjoy yourself to the fullest. Don't come and tell me, alot of datelines, stress and how big your responsibility is or how many casinos you've to manage.Working hard to climb up the corporate ladder is not wrong, but there's also a need for time management. Here's a story that I would like to share with you all...A professor stood before his philos
A friend in need is a friend indeed 2007-07-31 09:02:00 Today I'm going to talk about friend
ship. It is not your friend's ship nor French vessel. Do you have friends? buddy? kawan-kawan? brader? etc etc.. When you are small, you already have some friends around you and when you are big, you have more guy friends. Err...what am I talking about? Forget it..As we grow up, we make friends along the way. Some are true, some are fucked up and some are the "hi-bye" ones.When we are young (kiddos), friends are those that share your toys, watch Playhouse Disney Channel with you and steal your color pencils. When we are primary school students, we play catching, batu seremban and bottle caps with friends. When we are secondary school students, we learn sex more about the opposite sex by sharing valuables and we think that having a gang of friends walking together is a sex symbol. After that, some friends will depart and we will make new friends in college. Friends can be everywhere, but true friends are just like gems and some other friends can be
Be careful what you wish for... 2007-08-10 04:09:00 Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there lived a man. An obese man. A freakingly huge, obese man. Okay, that's an understatement...Now, story has it that he has a fairy godmother. As with all fairy godmothers, she was willing to grant him his deepest desires.So, when he said "Fairy God-mama, I don't like being so, like, uhhh, y'know... un-thin. I can't get girls to be interested in me! Could you remove some fat?", she could only have replied "Your wish is my command." (By the way, why can't he just wish for something like "I would like to have Ayumi Hamasaki lying beside me now"?)Now, the fairy godmother waved her magic wand, chanted some magic words, and ended with "Fat, begone!" ... by the time she has repeated the incantation for 5 times, our friend looked like this: A few more repetitions, and our friend is starting to look more interesting(?). Finally he realised something is not right, and as soon as the fairy godmother mumbled the incantation one more time, he sho
Goddess of the Dawn 2007-09-04 01:10:00 We live in this world, we see the Earth is dying, no more blue blue sky, stars are gone, everyone is a smoker, and gasmask becomes a fashion accessories. Well.. inspired by AhBoon, I'm set to go on search for the most heavenly sight and serenity that can still be seen from this world. For me, in Malaysia the only place I found peace is in the sawah padi. You know that feeling when you can just stand motionless and enjoy the luxury of being out of the city? Have you ever seen the auroras? What are they? Roman Goddess
of Dawn?! Auroras are natural colored light displays, which are usually observed in the night sky, particularly in the polar zone. Auroras are now known to be caused by the collision of charged particles, the positive and negative ions!! found in the magnetosphere (Home of Mr.Magneto), with atoms in the Earth's upper atmosphere (at altitudes above 80 km). These particles travel into space with speeds of 300 to 1200 kilometers per second. -Boston operator (to Portland ope
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