Owner: There is No Utopia URL:http://blogbible-general.blogspot.com Join Date: Wed, 13 Jun 2007 11:42:18 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: My Political Satire and Humor blog is the funniest on Blogspot, as voted by my readers. Has a healthy reader base and posts ranging on topics from Bush to Global Warming to Movie reviews to India.
Its a complete blog, with something for everybody and a Site statistics:Click here
Wanna win a Free DVD of Super Troopers? 2007-06-13 11:42:00 My blog completes 8 months today, and I'm overwhelmed by the amount of encouragement I've gotten through this blog in the form of comments/compliments and cusses sometimes. I agree my posts are not the most pacific ones, but if I follow the rules set for newspapers, why would you read my blog? Thanks everybody for visiting and many thanks to those visiting again and again !!!As a form of appreciation and of course to get new readers to my blog, I'm raffling a "SuperTroopers
" DVD here on my blog. All you have to do is post a link to my blog on your blog (I'll link back to you too) and write a small post about this raffle, on your blog. I'm askin a favor from you, my readers to help reach more people, thats all !!!A Month from now, I'll close the draw and send the DVD to one lucky winner. So please take a minute and join the draw.Thanks a bunch !!!Chilledbeer
Ocean's Thirteen: Stinks worse than a skunk !!! 2007-06-11 12:52:00 I have this great intuition which tells me some movies are gonna suck, and when they suck, they stink, to an extent that you come out of the cinema thinking how wretched your life is, and what a sinner you are for wasting 2 hours, and 10 bucks for so-called "entertainment". But at the insistence of some friends(who agreed to pay for my ticket), I watched this crap which masquerades as a movie.First off, I hate heist movies because they make everything look so easy. Like the banks and casinos these guys rob have the easiest security codes to break, the easiest access, and worst of all, surprisingly, these good-for-nothing uneducated pricks have the layout of every nook and corner in the casino? Ohh really? Have you ever tried going beyond the gambling area in a casino without being unnoticed? How come they can buy everyone in the casino without being framed?And then, there is no imaginative screenplay or any humor in the proceedings. All the thirteen characters just go through the motio Read more:Ocean
, Thirteen
ChilledBeer's Prediction: Al Gore will run for Prez in '08 2007-06-08 14:18:00 I saved the draft of this post last week on NPR, when I heard an interview with Al Gore in which he sounded a lot more sensible and had more compelling arguments for his global warming case. I totally agree with his alarm bells and I dont understand why its so difficult for anyone to fathom the impending "slow death" due to global warming. But lets keep that for another post.During the interview, he said he has no plans to run for President, but here's what I think: I think he's gonna spring a surprise by filing papers once the euphoria over Hillary and Obama has died down. It would be a bad move to step into the fray now, because really nothing much is happening and no one is even watching the intra-party debates being held.But considering his much-improved public stature and visibility now, Al Gore will certainly have this ace in his kitty. If he does file nomination sometime after the Labor Day Weekend, when the race will evoke some interest among citizens, it will be a great move Read more:Prediction
Bloggers, smart up or shut up !!! 2007-06-07 09:23:00 So have bloggers run out of ideas completely? Whats this SMS-style blogging and Haiku shit thats goin on? Since thats the fad now, I have a haiku for all the stupid bimbos writing blogs about which pair of shoes they want to buy, how their cat peed on their plasma TV and stuff: Read it, y'all stupid fucks:1. To all muh stupid bloggersIf you aint got nothing to blogshut the fuck up2. Stupid people dont blogbloggers are not stupidlets keep it that way.3. do the world a favorclick "delete your blog"and go back to fuckin your catI am damn pissed off with the blogs that I come across nowadays, especially the ones desperate for publicity on BlogExplosion. Blogs were supposed to be a tool for writing stuff, venting your thoughts out and in some cases, show those streaks of brilliance that journalists cant, because of stupid rules binding them.But what has happened now? Bloggers have run out of ideas to write about, and they have invented crap like Meme Mondays, Tuesday Cat Blogging, Wordless
From American Idol to American Idle 2007-06-04 18:41:00 I can envision a time in The US and A, when a reality show called American
Idle will be thrown at us on the boobtube. The day's not too far away, when TV show producers will run out of reality show ideas. By then, all possible nonsense would have been dished out to reality-hungry Americans, some of which will be the following:1. Who's your wife? A wife-swapping show where men are blindfolded and go on a wife-swapping spree, and in the end the winner is the one who sleeps with the most women other than his wife. Sponsored by The Howard Stern Foundation for Orgy-lovers.2. Pimp my burp:I've seen this one happen live in a ski resort, and I was thinkin to myself, " These fags need to be kicked up their ass". But maybe I aint seen nothing yet. Wait for the day when it comes on TV. Sponsored by MUG root beer.3. Chase my ass:This will require the contestants to commit a traffic violation, and then make the cops chase them. The one who gets chased by the cops for the longest amount of time,
An Idiot's guide to fishing !!! 2007-05-30 11:39:00 Can the World afford any more stupid people?I started thinking about this when I saw this genius fishing at South Padre Island, on the beach. And I aint a huge fishing freak, but I know that you dont get any fish at the beach.Unless your idea of fishing is catching some sea weed.FYI, he was Mexican.It sometimes amazes me how many stupid people there are in this world, and how our poor Earth is gonna survive their stupidity.Every day of my life, I think I've met the stupidest person ever, but there is always another one lurking around, to prove he's a bigger idiot.Here's one more: A German mistook a subway entrance for an underground car park and her vehicle got stuck on the stairs, police said on Wednesday. The 52-year-old drove her Volkswagen Beetle across the pavement in central Duesseldorf and into the entrance where it ground to a halt about five steps down. Do you have your favorite "stupid people" stories or anecdotes? Please comment if you are willing to share them.
A Tuesday Tickler: How to Avoid a Speeding Ticket 2007-05-29 11:16:00 Try this, and you'll safely get away from a speeding ticket. Homie from the hood: Is dere a problem, Officer?Officer: Dawg, you were speeding.Homie from the hood: No shit, mofo !!Officer: Can I see your license please?Homie from the hood: I'd give it to you but I don't have one, yo.Officer: Don't have one?Homie from the hood: Lost it, 4 years ago cos I was driving and doin weed.Officer: I see...can I see your vehicle registration papers please?Homie from the hood: I can't do dat !!Officer: Why not?Homie from the hood: I stole this ride...Officer: Stole it?Homie from the hood: Yea, and I killed and hacked up the owner.Officer: You what?Homie from the hood: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you wanna check 'em out !!The Officer looks at the dude and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.Officer 2: Yo, could you step out of your vehi Read more:Tuesday
, Avoid
, Speeding
, Ticket
Archive your blog, in case you ever delete it !!! 2007-05-25 15:08:00 I never ever imagined someone would do it, but a friend of mine recently delete
d her blog accidentally, and luckily, I had archived her blog way back, because I really liked her blog a lot. And then when she lost her blog, someone had retrieved her blog from the archives.I know its a very uncommon thing but it never hurts to know: Please submit your blog for being archived, here, at the Wayback Machine : http://www.archive.org/web/web.phpIf you ever lose or delete your blog, just go back there and give your URL and you'll be saved.Hope you liked the info. Have a great Memorial Day Weekend !!!Chilledbeer Read more:Archive
What is The Most Precious Thing ? 2007-05-24 12:07:00 What I'm stating now might be very obvious, but then its something I realized only after living 27 years of my life, a tad too late.Its amazing how some people have infinite wealth, a wonderful career, the best things that money can offer, but lack something else: peace of mind. Now wait, this is not a tirade against the lives of rich people and how they suffer because they dont have peace of mind. This is just my own experience and how I've come to realize, that in life everything goes for a toss when one doesnt have peace of mind.Its funny I never realized this until now, maybe I was caught up in achieving something or the other all the time, or maybe, maybe...I was just living a very happy and contented life. I believe the latter to be true, because you never realize the value of something until you lose it. And now that this simple concept, peace of mind has been eluding me continuosly no matter how much I strive towards possessing it, I am willing to give away a lot of things in Read more:Thing
I'm officially an Obama supporter now 2007-05-23 15:01:00 Okay, after much deliberation and due to some extremely important things that kept me busy, I joined Texans for Obama
, at www.texansforobama.com to join the camp and do something useful, instead of sittin on my ass and ranting on about how fucked up Republicans are.Here's why I decided to join Obama.I hope my stint with the Obama camp this time turns out to be better than my 2004 experience with the John Kerry camp, where we worked like crazy and I raised $5300 dollars, to no success in the end. I wonder if I can use that on my resume though?If you're like me, thinkin of makin a difference but just ranting, get your ass out and join us.And FYI, this post is NOT sponsored by Texans for Obama.
Minutes on Monday !! 2007-05-21 14:20:00 Every blogger has their Wordless Wednesday or Blah blah Friday, and I have my own, Minutes on Monday
starting this week, where I'll have news and other snippets, bite-sized bytes so you can browse over them real quick.They wont be on any one topic !! If you want to join the Minutes on Monday, comment back and I'll put ya on my blogroll. Here goes the first one:1. The half hour news hour fart on F(art)ox news : So, Fox News finally seems to have decided that clowns like O'Reilly and Sean "Panty" Hannity are doing them no good in terms of viewership, so they start this supposedly funny "The Half Hour Newshour", which I happened to watch while flipping channels last night. They claim to deliver an hours news in half hour, and is supposed to be a spoof like The Daily Show. Its funny, but for different reasons. Both the anchors are clowns and the female who anchors it is such a dumb blonde bitch that it would be more funny if she danced around in a diaper, than to listen to her st
This happens only in India !!! Passengers push train !! 2007-05-17 11:21:00 I thought I should share this story with my readers:Hundreds of rail passengers got more than they had bargained for when the driver of their train asked them to get out and push. It took more than half an hour to move the stalled electric train 12 feet so that it touched live overhead wires and was able to resume its journey, officials said on Wednesday. The incident occurred in Bihar on Tuesday after a passenger pulled the trainu2019s emergency chain and it halted in a "neutral zone", a short length of track where there is no power in the overhead wires. A train’s momentum usually allows it to continue moving through neutral zones, but in this case it needed a little extra from the passengers.If it happened in America, the Railways would probably go bankrupt due to the lawsuits they would face from these free labourers. Read more:India
, Passengers
Check out my Latest and Greatest Photo Blog !!! 2007-05-16 16:34:00 Everyone's got a photo blog, and I figured I have a great set of pictures to share too. So take a moment and visit my photo blog and lemme know what you think !!http://blogbiblephotos.wordpress.com/This is also the first time I'm using Wordpress so I have to see how great it is compared to Blogger.Chilledbeer Read more:Check
, Greatest
, Photo
Jerry Falwell is dead: Good riddance 2007-05-15 23:58:00 The world is definitely better off without an obese, self-loving, fanatic right-wing asshole. Go to hell, fat bastard !!!Good riddance. Enough said !!!And before you flare up and call me names, here are some of the knowledgeable thoughts this asshole has given the world: (thanks to my friend Jason Buckley for this list)" If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being." "I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!" "The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country." "AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."I dont really see the difference between Osama bin Laden and a person like JerryFalwell
.By the way, here's a list of some peopl Read more:Jerry Falwell
What will it take for Obama to win? 2007-05-15 17:11:00 Maybe I'm a little late to jump onto the Obama
bandwagon, but it did take some reading and some serious debate and discussion for that. I was certainly awed by his speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention, but if excellent speeches made excellent leaders, then George Bush wouldnt stand a chance to be even a Legislator. It takes a lot more than just eloquence to win Presidency.So, until now atleast, there is nothing that Obama has which makes him a hitman of Republican smear tactics. He has a very short record as Senator, which is a positive rather than negative, since Senators have this irritating habit of speaking on and on without getting to the point. And thankfully that Senatorial trait hasnt gotten to him yet. And then a short political career till now means he has very little excess baggage and very few skeletons to push away into the closet, if not no skeletons at all.And then, this excellent record of working for the community and his background tend to make us believe that he
DoD blocks Youtube, Myspace, soldiers' blogs 2007-05-14 16:58:00 Is there any more dignity left in the Department of Defense? I dont think so. Today, the DoD banned websites like MySpace and YouTube to soldiers, barely a week after banning soldiers' blogs.The reason given: Limited Bandwidth. Give me a frikkin break here. The DoD, which spends hundreds of billions of dollars in pork projects and gifts billions to Dickless Cheney and those scumbags at Halliburton, doesnt have web bandwidth to allow YouTube and MySpace? Maybe you can ban Fox News and stupid Rush Limbaugh's radio then? Thatll free up some resources?Just what the hell are you scared of, Mr fucked up President? That soldiers will see the truth that blogs and YouTube expose? That they will come to realize the doublespeak that Republicans are adopting?Shame on you, Bush. Shame on you and scum on your face.
My interview by Five Second Dance party owner 2007-05-14 13:45:00 Courtney Slavin from the blog Five SecondDance
Party asked me these questions, and wanted me to share the answers with my readers. Basically, my first interview
: Read on:1) What do you do for a living and what do you like and dislike about it?I am an engineer. Okay, dont yawn already...What I like is the money and that I work on "supposedly" cool stuff. What I dislike is ZERO opportunity to get out of my little cubicle and travel.(2) How much money would it take for you to sell your blog and never look back? In other words, how attached to your blog are you?I'd sell it for a thousand bucks now, but as time goes on its gonna get higher cos my readers love my blog and I'm adding new subscribers everyday. Wanna buy?(3) You're debating politics with someone of opposing viewpoints and neither of you is budging on your own opinion. Do you give up and agree to disagree or do you push until they buckle? Why?First off, I wont give up. And after trying to convince him for a while, I'll give
Books, books, books.... 2007-05-11 16:00:00 I love Barnes and Noble. I think that is one place where I can settle down for months in a row without getting bored, thanks to the frikkin infinite numbers of books. I aint a bookworm, dont mistake me for one.But I think we've reached a point where there's too many books now. Any one topic, and you have atleast a 100 authors writing on it, and writing the same thing over and over again, or viewing the same darn fact in too many different ways.Whats funny is everyone seems to be a New York Times #1 Bestseller. That term has lost its credibility now. The problem with so many books out there is that real gems are not getting the attention they deserve.For example, the One Percent Doctrine by Ron Suskind is such a wonderful depiction of events, leading to 9/11 and explaining what happened in the days after that. Infact, dare Bush and Cheney to come out and dispute that. They cant, because all of it is the exact truth.But because of the fact that there are millions of books(some of them
Spiderman 3 Hits the Spot: Watch it on IMAX 2007-05-09 19:24:00 "Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can". But does Spidey's third foray onto the big screen reach the same heights scaled by parts one and two? We join our eponymous hero in triumphant times: he's got the girl, adoration from the people of NYC and assuredness in his abilities. In fact, everything is rosy in the world of Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), until an alien symbiote transforms his suit jet black, enhancing his powers and drawing out his dark side. Alienating those closest to him with his new-found arrogance, Peter finds himself fighting not only his own demons but the three most formidable foes he has ever faced: The New Goblin, aka Harry Osborn (James Franco); The Sandman (Thomas Haden Church— Sideways ); and Venom (Topher Grace—TV's That 70's Show ). The strongest Spidey film yet, Spider-Man 3 features more characters, comedy and drama than ever before. Bigger and better in every way, writer/director Sam Raimi has crafted a flick that not only stands on Read more:Spiderman
I'm back !!! With my First Meme 2007-05-08 14:11:00 Finally I'm back. After a long vacation which spanned Boston to Dallas, and then back to Austin. I have gotten a few responses to my previous post, one of them saying they did miss my posts. Thanks so much, Eva.Another one of my readers mailed me saying I should do a meme on "It", and no I dont mean Information Technology. So here you go, my meme on "it".1. Have you ever done "it"?A: Of course..ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?? I'm 262. How many times have you done "it"?A: If you're really counting it each time, you must be very sad.3. With how many women have you done "it"?A: Lemme think - hmmm...4.4. Have you done "it" on the floor?A: Of course yes5. Where else have you done "it"?A. In the back of the car, front porch, balcony, the kitchen, in the park, by a swimming pool.6. Have you ever been spotted/caught while doing "it"?A: Yess7. Have you caught "it" on tape?A: No...neverAnd for all the voyeurs and perverts out there, IT is nothing but sharing a banana boat ice cream.You people are soooo Read more:First
Have you missed my posts? 2007-05-02 18:27:00 Sorry folks, I'm takin a break, while I'm away on a conference to Boston. But please do check out the archives in this blog. They've got a ton of information on your favorite topics on your favorite blog.So, dig into the archives. See ya Monday, May 7th.Ciao.... Read more:posts
A question for all Americans !! 2007-04-27 12:37:00 Lets assume:Tomorrow a world leader from the West, or East or from anywhere deemed George Bush as a threat to global security, and thinks he should be thrown or forced out of power. Lets assume they start attacking America and manage to remove Bush from power, on the basis of atleast 60% of the people of this country who think he has made America a more dangerous place to live in, and who think America is now hated by the entire world because of Bush.So lets say they rain bombs on us and kill civilians. I presume people like you and me would go up in arms against these "liberators", wouldnt we? We would wanna protect our kith and kin from being shot down and bombed by the "liberators".Would be we terrorists then, or just regular citizens who're trying to protect whats their own from a foreign enemy?Update: One of my regular readers, Master of Puppets has pointed out (in a comment below) something very striking. For anyone even remotely familiar with India's wa of Independence agains Read more:Americans
Do you think your professor sucks, or sucked bigtime? 2007-04-25 12:42:00 Well here's an antidote to that feeling of hatredand disgust that you had for your professor
back in college or grad school. I'm sure a lot of us have encountered absolute idiots who became professors(for the lack of a better job) and then started their own ways of terrorizing students, thanks to their ignorance and stupid research.Check out this website, where you can Rate your Professor and Rant against him/her.I feel much better now, and I think
you'll love it too. Read more:sucks
What newspaper does Bush read? 2007-04-24 00:39:00 Honestly, can he even read? His denial of the truth is getting more and more brazen by the day.He says he sees progress in Iraq. What is he, fucking blind? Yeah if you term progress as 200 people dying this week compared to only 50 last week. Does he have a brain or what?What newspapers do Bush and the right-wing jerkoffs read, I wanna know? Cos they seem to be seeing some success in Iraq, which poor assholes like us are missing out. Are they reading newspapers from 1991, during the Gulf War 1? Wake up fuckin right-wing cocksuckers !!!And why blast Harry Reid for speaking out the truth? Whoa..I thought this fuckin country respected the right to free speech? And since when has speaking the fact become equal to being a traitor and a douche-bag( as one asshole General put it)?. So has the right-wing become so fanatic that anyone who barely opposes their view is labeled a defeatist and an ally of the enemy?This war was lost way back, when Bush lied to all you morons and meddled in a peacef
Wanna be purified? Lets start with Cow Urine !!! 2007-04-23 14:55:00 Okay, I read this story and I'm posting it after laughing for 15 minutes over this. I am from India, luckily from one of the tech hub cities, Hyderabad, but look at the other end of society in India, and you'll see this:MUMBAI - Indian teachers sprinkled cow urine on low-caste students to purify them and drive away evil, reports said on Saturday, in a country where millions of people remain oppressed at the bottom of the ancient Hindu caste system. Upper-caste headteacher Sharad Kaithade ordered the ritual after taking over from a lower-caste predecessor at a school in a remote village in the western state of Maharashtra earlier this month, the Times of India reported. He told an upper-caste colleague to spray cow urine in a cleansing ceremony as the students were taking an examination, wetting their faces and their answer sheets, the newspaper said. "She said you'll study well after getting purified," student Rajat Washnik was quoted as saying by the CNN-IBN ne
Click it or Ticket !!! Who needs the law? 2007-06-18 14:44:00 Some of my readers might be offended by this, but I have had this burning question inside me forever, and I need to address it now, cos its fresh in my mind after listening to a radio ad which threatened me to Click
it or ticket.Okay, so who are these dumb mofos who dont wear their seatbelt, and why?? Just WHY wouldnt someone wear their seatbelt??? I tried to think of an excuse not to wear my seatbelt, but couldnt come up with a single one. The only one, maybe is a pregnant woman who'd feel uncomfortable with a tight seatbelt around her waist...but otherwise, which moron would be driving happily at 90 miles per hour without wearing a seatbelt?Like I mentioned in one of my earlier posts here, there are indeed a lot of stupid people on earth, and maybe just getting rid of them will be the perfect antidote to their stupidity.If anyone of you readng this belong to the category of assholes who dont wanna wear seatbelts, please do respond and let the others know why they're so stupid to w Read more:Ticket
Once again, America loses because of a stupid President 2007-06-20 11:13:00 From Yahoo News:President
Bush has chosen to use his veto pen three times — twice on the stem cell issue where politics, ethics and science collide. Pushing back against the Democratic-led Congress, Bush plans to veto a bill Wednesday that would have eased restraints on federally funded embryonic stem cell research.Congrats, stupid mofo Dubya. You proved once again that one asshole can do the kind of damage to a country that hundred wars cant.Maybe divine justice will be meted out when he is affected by Parkinson's and then, then.... it''ll drive home the point. Read more:America
Lage Raho Munnabhai has touched my heart !!!!
Yep... 2006-09-11 16:15:00 Lage Raho Munnabhai
has touched my heart !!!!Yep it might seem totally crazy that a movie, made to entertain people is not just successfully doing it beyond imagination, but is changing the way people think and act. Pretty amazing for our times when most movies are based on sex, violence and extra-marital affairs, of course with some exceptions. We do watch movies that have a message but then they get so involved in the message that the movie gets lost or the way the message is presented is so preachy that it becomes a moral sciences documentary.Well, LRMB as the movie is known now, does all the good things, making it look so simple that you wonder why bad movies are made at all. I have watched the movie twice and havent found anything negative yet. Its what I call a perfect movie. And the best part of the movie is that it made a cynical asshole like me think about the message, and it touched my heart. Now, for me any movie that touches my heart truly is a classic, cos its tough to do Read more:Lage Raho Munnabhai
A FREE Credit Score should be REALLY FREE !! 2007-06-26 11:29:00 Every day while browsing the net I come across at least one popup which says I can get my credit report and score for free. In the very beginning I clicked one of the popups only to be taken to some fradulent website which was planning to take all my info and then set off on a spending saga on my name. Otherwise its one of these guys, like in the pic above who want you to enroll in a godforsaken service and rip you off without you even knowing it.Now, when I think of it, I am of the opinion that my Credit Report, from all three agencies Equifax, Transunion and Expedian should be available to me at no cost - totally FREE. Because I simply dont understand why I should pay anyone money to view whats in my personal records and my personal information.Okay, right now the credit reports are free, but they've been so only for the past 2 years or something, and the FICO score is still not free. I just fail to understand why some private firm should get access to all our credit records and the Read more:Score
, REALLY
Pakistan deserves a 100 more Lal Masjid incidents 2007-07-07 19:25:00 Yea, I mean it. I cant be any happier than this, reading the escalating news about the standoff between the military and the extreme jihadists in Pakistan
's capital, Islamabad.Pakistan totally deserves whats going on.For decades since its independence, it has hoodwinked the entire world, acting as an ambassador of peace and has feigned innocence. Forever, the country has tried to infiltrate into India, and through its ISI and Lashkar-E-Toiba, has tried to destabilize the communal harmony and law and order in India.Terrorists sponsored by the ISI have made Jammu and Kashmir, the most beautiful state in India bearing the sobriquet "Paradise on Earth", a bed of terrorism. And through the past decade, General Musharraf has been a jackal in a goat's hide, cozying up to the US, and the stupid SOB Bush hasnt had a clue about whats going on in Pakistan.Finally, Pakistan is getting a taste of its own medicine. The same people who burn Indian and American flags on the streets of Pakistan and w Read more:Masjid
Recommend Site To A Friend
