Al Rajhi Bank by Aku Betul
2007-07-12 03:26:00
Aku Betul wrote:Excerpts: "I always smile bila tengok Al Rajhi Bank’s logo. Maybe I’m the only one think this way… Ermm… Nevermind, better you guys judge it yourself la.I wonder how Malaysian government approved them to use this logo. But, on second thought it is their well established logo and Al Rajhi not a small investment group. In Malaysia alone they already open 14 branches, jauh lebih banyak compare to Citybank. Kalau Arab Saudi tak banned logo ini why kerajaan Malaysia bother to do so, kan. So, tak pe la… at least aku ada bahan nak hiburkan hati lepas meeting. For those yang kurang jelas, ini bigger and clearer picture.Read further..."
Homer’s 'Kidnappers' Escaped Capital Punishment
2007-07-12 01:19:00
THE college students, who stole a life-sized Homer
Simpson figurine from a cineplex in One Utama last month, were issued a warning letter by the deputy public prosecutor. Petaling Jaya police chief Assistant Commissioner Mazlan Mansor said the two students, aged 22, would not be charged as the DPP has decided not to take further action.“The DPP came to the decision as the figurine was safely returned.“The case is now solved,” Mazlan said when contacted by The Malay Mail yesterday.The Malay Mail had, on June 20, reported the theft of the life- sized model after it was found missing by the cineplex staff when they opened for business.The figurine was initially placed next to other models of the Simpsons on a display couch for photo opportunities to promote The Simpsons Movie.The cineplex management later lodged a police report.According to security video recordings from the shopping mall’s CCTV, the students first scouted the area after 3am.The students were then caught
Read more: Punishment
Funny Facts - Miss Piggy of the Muppet Show
2007-07-11 21:20:00
Muppet
t Show banned in Saudi Arabia because one of the main characters of the show is a pig. Ms Piggy
.
Read more: Funny
Funny Facts - No Armpits In Malaysian Advertisement
2007-07-11 02:29:00
Malaysian Television Advertisements are not allowed to show a person's armpit when advertising deodorants. To get around this ban, advertisers show the model applying the deodorant from the back. A funny video on this issue Pass Me the Screw Driver - Can not!Maybe Malaysian censors are afraid of this, if such guideline is not in place.
Read more: Funny
, Malaysian
Funny Facts - The RAHMAN Theory
2007-07-17 06:10:00
The RAHMAN Theory
, a theory that supposedly predicts who will be the next Prime Minister of Malaysia. This theory, according to some sources started to brew around the time when Tun Mahathir went into office in the 80's. Basically, the word R.A.H.M.A.N is the acronym of the Malaysian Prime Minister's name.R - Abdul RahmanA - Abdul RazakH - Hussein OnnM - Mahathir MohamadA - Abdullah Ahmad BadawiEveryone thought it was Anwar Ibrahim that will succeed Mahathir. When Mahathir sack Anwar Ibrahim, he managed to get someone else with the initial 'A' to replace him - Spooky!N - Najib Tun Razak?If we are to believe the RAHMAN Theory - is Najib Tun Razak the next Malaysian Prime Minister? I guess time will tell
Read more: Funny
Porsche thief forgets to ‘fill her up’
2007-07-17 03:03:00
BUKIT MERTAJAM: Flashing a cheque book, a smartly-dressed man coolly asked for the keys to a sports car at a showroom here yesterday. He got into the RM963,000 Porsche
911 Targa 4, started the engine, and to the horror of the salespersons there, crashed the car through the showroom's glass pane and drove off at top speed. But he had not factored in one thing – fuel. The car ran out of petrol just 2km away and police found the car within 30 minutes at Hujung Perusahaan Dua in Prai. A salesgirl, who declined to be named, said the man, who wore a suit, came into the showroom at about 1.50pm, holding a cheque book as he viewed the car. “He then asked for the keys to start the engine. Before I knew it, he drove the car through the glass pane and sped off,” she said. Source: The Star Online
Ah Beng The Hero
2007-07-16 22:06:00
Last night, an incident took place at Klang River. What happened was some idiot was trying to show off and declared that he would swim across the Klang River.He jumped in and started swimming. But before he could reach the halfway mark, he started to panic and started to shout for help.Being typical Malaysians, a crowd started to gather to watch and yet no attempt was made by anybody to save that poor chap.Suddenly there was a splash and the crowd turned to see a guy doing what seemed like a desperate attempt to reach the drowning victim. It was clear that this hero couldn't swim !Luckily a tongkang filled with tourists was passing by and the operator saw the incident and picked both men from the water. The crowd cheered !Back on shore, the crowd cheered again as the hero stepped off the tongkang. "Steady Lah !" and "Awright, man !" were among the many congratulations shouted.The hero looked angry and shouted "Ka ni na! Siang too wa loh chui?" (*%#@! Who pushed me into the water?")
Funny final exam answers from one of the university in Malaysia
2007-07-16 02:56:00
A friend of FM emailed the following funny pictures. According to him, it is a final exam answers
from one of our local University (the name of the university shall remain anonymous).Please click on the images to enlarge the pictures
Read more: Funny
, Malaysia
We're Not So Furious: Mat Rempit Anthem - Funny parody by JJ & Rudy
2007-07-15 18:08:00
JJ & Rudy of Hitz.FM parody
of Teriyaki Boyz (Tokyo Drift) into a Malaysian 'Mat Rempit' (illegal racers) anthem! You guys got to check this out. I don't put this sh*t up if it is not funny. Enjoy!Click here for other Funny
Malaysia VideosClick here for more Funny Videos
“Hati saya sangat terguris” – Erra Fazira
2007-07-13 14:47:00
“Erra kekasih saya,” itu kata Hans Isaac. Tetapi kata yang empunya diri, “Kami hanya baru di peringkat mengenali hati budi saja, bukan serius mana pun.” Ekoran dari insiden ini banyak kisah- kisah tersembunyi terpantul, nampaknya yang tersirat sudah menjadi tersurat. Hans yang nampak benar-benar kecewa menganggap diri dan cintanya dipermainkan oleh primadona ini. Erra dikatakan ‘menduakan’ lelaki itu setelah bertemu dengan kekasih baru, orang kuat di Suria FM, Engku Emran Engku Zainal Abidin di kediaman Erra. Sama sekali tidak saya sangkakan, Hans sanggup muncul dalam beberapa temu bual termasuk secara langsung di televisyen dan radio bagi mendedahkan kisah cinta yang “tragis” dan “dramatik” itu. Ini juga sekali gus membina tanggapan baru orang terhadap Erra Fazira. Erra, wanita yang suka mempermainkan cinta lelaki. Tembelang Erra pecah di tengah jalan, gara-gara cerita dan pendedahan Hans, selain ditokok tambah oleh pihak yang tidak bertanggungjawab. Erra begitu, E
Don't Press the RED BUTTON
2007-07-19 11:12:00
What ever you doDON'T PRESS THE RED BUTTONI know it is very tempting, but for the love of God, don't do it.
Read more: Press
Businessman loses BMW after ‘mishap’
2007-07-19 01:06:00
JOHOR BARU: A 23-year-old businessman ended up losing his BMW car to robbers when he fell for their ruse and chased them in anger for knocking into his vehicle on Tuesday. The victim was returning to his home in Taman Setia Indah when the incident occurred at about 11.45pm. After the minor collision, the suspects sped off in their silver Proton Wira. Johor Baru (South) CID chief Deputy Supt Norhashim Mohamed said the Wira stopped some 5km away in Mount Austin. “The victim then got out to confront the suspects. Three men armed with parang jumped out of the car and forced the victim back into his BMW and drove off with him,” he said. The suspects then dropped him off in Felda Tebrau after relieving him of his mobile phone and RM1,000.Source: The Star Online
Read more: Businessman
Funny Facts: The Secrets of Women's Language Revealed
2007-07-18 18:39:00
FineThis is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.Five MinutesThis is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.NothingThis means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has when she wants to cut you, slice you and cover you with hot bacon grease. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows)This is a dare so don't be an idiot. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".Go Ahead (normal eyebrows)This means, "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't give a d*&#. You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, fo
Read more: Funny
, Secrets
, Women
How Smart is Your Right Foot?
2007-07-18 17:08:00
It's true! I've tried it!This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keeptrying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot,butyou can't.1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floorandmake clockwise circles.2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with yourright hand.Your foot will change direction.I told you so .....And there's nothing you can do about itMake sure you pass this on to your friends...they won't be able tobelieve it either!!
Read more: Smart
, Right
Harry Potter and his "Magic Wand" - Brokeback Mountain Revisits
2007-07-17 19:07:00
Harry Potter
movie which is slated to be released in 2009 in United States called the "Harry Potter and the Brokeback
Goblet" but retitled to "Harry Potter and his 'Magic
Wand' - Brokeback Mountain
Revisits" for release in Malaysia in 2020. The Bahasa Malaysia title will be "Harry Potter dan Kayu Ajaibnya - Kembali Kepada Gunung Patah". In this latest movie, Harry Potter reveals that he is gay and express his love to his best friend (the other white dude - can't remember his name)Click here for other Funny Malaysia VideosClick here for more Funny Videos
Read more: Harry
, Brokeback Mountain
Porsche stolen again... from police station
2007-07-17 18:29:00
BUKIT MERTAJAM: Just hours after abandoning a RM1 million sports car which he had driven away from a showroom, the thief is believed to have struck again.This time, he drove the same car out of the district police station compound, and just like in his previous attempt, he abandoned the vehicle.The Porsche
911 Targa 4 is back in the police station, this time under lock and key in one of the garages.But the incident has left Penang police stumped and red-faced as this attempt occurred right under their noses.Penang police chief Datuk Koh Hong Sun has ordered an investigation to ascertain how the suspect gained entry into the district police headquarters compound.Initial investigations revealed that the suspect got in by cutting the perimeter fence at the back of the police station. The suspect, police believe, had the car keys and came with a container of petrol.On Monday afternoon, after the suspect had stolen
the car, it stalled two kilometres away as there was no petrol.The suspect a
Malaysians show ugly side during rush for Book 7: Harry Potter
2007-07-21 18:03:00
PETALING JAYA: Nothing can stop a diehard fan. He woke up as early as anyone else to get his hands on the latest Harry
Potter
book, but disabled Melvin Tong in his stroller had to endure the ugly side of Malaysians
when the Borders bookstore here opened its shutters. With the crowd outside not organised in queues, Melvin, 22, had to fight off shoving and pushing fans trying to get to the front of the line. As soon as the shutters opened at 7.01am, the crowd surged under the shutters “commando” style with some parents egging their children on. The lack of courtesy led to yelling and threats. The management finally let Melvin in with intervention from an anonymous bystander. Melvin, his twin brother Kelvin and friend Goh Kel Li had waited in line since 5.30am but only got the book at 7.45am. They even had to catch a cab when their car broke down on their way to the bookstore. Despite the earlier drama, Melvin good-naturedly posed for the cameras and granted a short interview.
Blogging Perils by IcyQueenGoddess
2007-07-21 17:27:00
IcyQueenGoddess wrote:Excerpts:"Gmail greeted me with four highlighted lines of text signalling that I have four new emails in my Inbox and my eyes almost popped out from my head.You know how Gmail always displays a little bit of the first part of your emails? I had a short preview of what was in store for me and it wasn't good. At all.I mean, emails with the subject of "C*BAI SL*T I F*CK U" ain't whoring donations for charity right?The sender called himself "F*CK KENNYSIA" with the catchy email address of kennysiapuk*makc*bai@gmail.comAmidst all his derogatory and abusive remarks, this pakcik actually threathened to kidnap me together with his friends and gangrape me.So I did what I normally would do in this situation....So it was with some trepidation that I decided to report his sorry arse to the police.I didn't know what to expect.It was to my absolute surprise and delight when the police called me to inform me that they have tracked down someone in Penang that they are in the m
Read more: Blogging
Fowl Surprise: Three Legs Rooster
2007-07-21 04:35:00
FOWL SURPRISE: Chicken trader Shaharnizam Abdul Rahman (right), 32, got the shock of his life when he discovered that a rooster he was about to slaughter had three legs. He had bought the 2.5kg rooster among 30 chickens from a farmer in Guar Chempedak six months ago for rearing. When he caught the rooster to slaughter last week, he realised that it had a third leg, which was the same size as the other two. “I was offered up to RM800 to part with the rooster but decided against it. I consider it a gift from God,” he said, while his friend, Mohd Zaudi Mohd Hashim, looked on. — NST picture by Rahmat Othman.Source: The New Straits Times
Read more: Surprise
, Three
, Rooster
Confusing Phone Conversation - Ah Beng Joke
2007-07-20 19:08:00
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)? Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan! Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?Caller: I’m Sam Wan (someone) and I need to talk to Annie Wan! It is urgent.Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone, but what is this urgent matter about? Caller: @#$… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan (no one ) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! What is your name?Operator: I am Saw Lee (sorry)!Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
Read more: Confusing
, Conversation
Sex customer taken for a RM900 ride
2007-07-20 13:10:00
KOTA KINABALU: A 51-year-old man paid more than he bargained for when he picked up a prostitute for the night on Tuesday. Apart from paying RM120 for sexual services, he ended up losing RM900 that was apparently taken out from his wallet by a “third party” who was hiding under the bed at a lodging house in Kg Air. While he fell asleep, the “third person” took the money from the wallet in his pants, which was on the floor, and slipped out of the room. The man, who reported the incident on Wednesday, claimed that he only realised the money was missing when he went to have breakfast at a coffeeshop the next morning. He rushed back to the room but the woman had also disappeared. Kota Kinabalu City police chief Asst Comm Ku Chin Wah said police believe that a third party was involved because a similar case was reported last week. He said there could be other cases which the victims did not report.Source: The Star Online
Malaysian drivers based on location
2007-07-19 17:48:00
FM received this funny email from a friend in KL.Malaysian
drivers and where their from:1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: IPOH driver2. One hand on wheel, one hand out the window with cigarette: KEPONG driver.3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: DOWNTOWN KUALA LUMPUR driver.4. One hand on wheel, one hand on parang (a type of knife), foot solidly on accelerator: JOHOR driver.5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, hands-free on the lap: BANGSAR driver.6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: FOREIGNER, driving in MALAYSIA.7. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, talking on cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SUBANG JAYA DRIVER.....on the Federal Highway!!!8. One hand on wheel, one hand on passengers head rest, alternating between both feet being on t
Erra tak serik
2007-07-17 15:23:00
Tak bimbang populariti merudum gara-gara HansPELAKON dan penyanyi terkenal, Erra Fazira menyerah kepada takdir untuk menentukan kebenaran, malah menegaskan tidak gusar jika popularitinya menjunam gara-gara kontroversi membabitkan dirinya dengan aktor popular, Hans Isaac.Erra berkata, dia positif dengan apa yang dilaluinya dan tidak mahu lagi memperkatakan mengenai hal itu biarpun kesabarannya sentiasa dicabar pihak tertentu.Katanya lagi, dia sudah melakukan apa yang patut dilakukannya dan selebihnya menyerahkan kepada peminat untuk menilai kebenaran berita yang dipaparkan media.Bagi Erra, dia tidak perlu serik dengan apa yang berlaku kerana percaya kepada hakikat kehidupan yang ada naik dan turunnya.“Buat masa ini Erra ingin menumpukan perhatian kepada kerjaya. Kalau boleh Erra ingin terus melangkah dan tidak mahu lagi memikirkan isu yang hanya membebankan fikiran. Banyak lagi tanggungjawab yang perlu Erra laksanakan daripada terus memikirkan hal itu,” katanya ketika ditemui pada m
Why Ah Beng Fails In Business?
2007-07-16 22:00:00
There were 4 Ah Bengs. They decided to start a business. They decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipment and manpower. The 4 Ah Bengs waited that day for the car to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for 1 day,2 days, a week for the car to arrive but no car came to their garage. WHY? Because their garage was on the second floor. After this failure they decided to try good old taxi driving. They bought a new London Cab & began to look for passengers. They drove past Orchard Road but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Changi Airport yet nobody hailed their taxi. They even drove to Serangoon Road, even nobody hailed their taxi.In desperation they kept on driving all around Singapore but alas no one hailed their taxi. WHY? Because all the four Ah bengs were sitt
Read more: Business
Kidnappers bungle and free victim before taking ransom
2007-07-24 12:12:00
PENANG: A group of kidnappers bungled big time when they released a 16-year-old schoolboy in Sungai Petani before their accomplices could pick up the RM50,000 ransom
on the island.Now, they don't have the money and poilce are hot on their trail.At least three kidnappers abducted the Form Four student while he was waiting for his school bus outside his house in Jalan Besi here about 7am last Wednesday.He was bundled into a car and driven to Sungai Petani.His businessman father, in his 50s, received a phone call asking for a ransom of RM200,000 for the release of his son.The businessman managed to persuade the kidnapper to lower the ransom to RM50,000. A drop-off point and time were agreed upon after he was warned not to alert the police about the matter.While waiting for the kidnappers to turn up at about 9pm, the father received a call from his son telling him he was safe in Sungai Petani.The boy had approached a passer-by and told him what had occurred.He was then taken to a nearby p
Read more: victim
Interview Bola (Football Commentary) - Ah-Ha Funny Skits
2007-07-24 10:00:00
A really funny skits from the Ah-Ha team. In this video clip, the Ah-Ha team pokes fun on football commentary/interview cliche.Click here for other Funny
Malaysia VideosClick here for more Funny Videos
Read more: Football
Ah Beng Secret Affair
2007-07-24 09:05:00
"Hello?""Hi honey.This is Daddy.Is Mommy near the phone?""No Daddy.She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Ah Beng."After a brief pause,Daddy says,"But honey,you haven't got an Uncle Ah Beng.""Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."Brief Pause."Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.""Okay Daddy, just a minute."A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone."I did it Daddy.""And what happened honey?""Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!""Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?""He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scaredand he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took ou
Read more: Affair
How Harry Potter Ends by The Malay Male ( Amir Hafizi)
2007-07-24 04:01:00
FM warning: Funny yet R(aunchy)-Rated entry from The Malay
Male ( Amir Hafizi), he wrote:Excerpts:"This is how it should REALLY end.DOBBY: Dobby fuck Hermione up the ass, ermmm?HERMIONE: Yes, Dobby. Fuck me, fuck me now! AH! AH! AH!RON: Harry
, what are you doing with that dead owl?HARRY: Well, Dumbledore's dead, and so is Hedgwig or Hedwig. Whatever. So I'm fucking gay and since I can't get to Dumbledore's dead dick, I'm going to stuff Hedwig's carcass up my ass.RON: Cor! Blimey!HARRY: Ummpph. Ahhh. Ummphhh. See how tight my ass is! Ummmpphh.RON: Cor! Blimey! That looks so smashing, Harry! I'm fucking gay too, and I'm getting horny from all this shit.Ginny, Fred and George Weasley, Luna Lovegood and a hot bitch enters the scene.GINNY: Don't worry, brother dear, you can join my bukkake party.RON: Cor! Blimey! Who the fuck is that hot bitch?LUNA: I'm Luna Lovegood. Looney and love your dick very good.RON: I know who you are, you blonde bitch. WHo the fuck is the other one?IVANA
Read more: Potter
Beaten up over a rooster
2007-07-23 09:51:00
"That big and brown rooster is my favourite...""She held the cock and examined it saying that it was not theirs"MALACCA: Six men assaulted a 60-year-old factory boss when he tried to stop them from taking away his pet rooster.Zinc pipe-making factory director Neo Ah Kausaid that the men kicked, punched and beat him up with sticks when he refused to let them take away his rooster, which he kept in the factory in Duyong where he worked.Neo said he was in the factory with a customer when a man in his 20s approached him, looking for the owner around noon on Saturday.“There had been several thefts in this area so as a precautionary measure, I said the owner was not around,” said Neo when met at the Malacca Hospital yesterday.He said the man then left. However, when Neo went back to speak to his customer, the man suddenly rushed into the factory and grabbed one of Neo’s pet roosters nearby.“That big and brown rooster is my favourite and I rushed to stop him from taking it,” said Ne
Funny Chinese Names
2007-07-22 18:58:00
That's not right...Sum Ting Wong Are you harboring a fugitive?...Hu Yu Hai Ding? See me ASAP...Kum Hia Nao Stupid Man...Dum Gai Small Horse...Tai Ni Po Ni Did you go to the beach?...Wai Yu So Tan? I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Ni I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat It's very dark in here...Wai So Dim?I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching? This is a tow away zone...No Pah King Our meeting is scheduled for next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao? Staying out of sight...Lei Ying Lo He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
Read more: Funny
, Chinese
, Names
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