Owner: Fulmer's Belly URL:http://www.fulmersbelly.com Join Date: Tue, 22 Aug 2006 10:11:21 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: Fulmer's Belly is a news/humor blog dealing primarily with college football, the SEC and Tennessee in particular, but articles from all over the NCAA can be found here. We give a tongue in cheek perspective unique among most other college football blogs Site statistics:Click here
Ole Miss… well, you know 2007-01-25 20:22:24 I seriously hope we don’t have to keep writing this headline. I guess it raises the question: do we suck again?
Hopefully the answer to this is “no,” although it’s hard to say at this point, the numbers do point out that the squad is under .500 in the SEC. Perhaps we should switch to a “crappy” conference like the Big 12 or Conference USA, because we seem to be able to beat teams from that conference.
Of course, there is another explanation: Chris Lofton is just that awesome. The first game in a couple years for the Vols without Lofton was a loss. Of course, the team can make up for it by beating down Kentucky for the next game. If Chris doesn’t come back, well, we can probably chalk up another loss on the ‘ole board.
Come back Chris… PLEEEEEASE
Read more:Ole Miss
Shiatty Headlines 2007-02-05 08:35:32 How many people can rip off the same headline?
Some combination of “Peyton” or “Manning” with the word “Reign” which incidentally, apparently is a homonym for another word meaning that water is falling from the sky as it did in Miami. How freaking clever (not cleaver, because that’s what you cut things with).
The Associated Press/Yahoo, is super awesome at making up headlines, with their “Reign Manning” which also has a reference to a movie with Dustin Hoffman. Cute… And by “cute,” I mean, really stupid. ESPN is bad at it too, deciding to actually add something about the game too, with the super clever headline “Reign Manning.”
“Super Clever ESPN… SUPER”
Super Clever AP… Super… ugh.
If you’re gonna rip off a headline, you should rip off a good one. I mean, something better than “Reign Man.” C’mon. I wish someone wrote the headline “Walk
Big Week for UT 2007-02-08 02:50:07 Well, Peyton Manning won the Superb Owl (legal reasons), the MVP of the game no less. Chris Lofton returned (although limited in playing time), leading the Vols to a win against LSU. The Lady Vols won what wasn’t even a game against Georgia (the men’s team). The Tennessee football team signed another top 5 recruiting class, and Philip Fulmer and David Cutcliffe were invited to South Beach to watch the big game.
Of all these things, I feel like the coolest thing is Fulmer and Cutcliffe getting to go to the game. Coach Cut and Coach Fulmer were interviewed after the game, check out the page here.
They both sound like proud papas, but we know that can’t be the case, because Peyton already has a daddy. Unless this is one of those situations like the “my two dads” show or the “three men and a little lady” movie where custody of the child hasn’t quite been established. I guess these things were more prevalent back in the 80s when Maury P
Vandy Pillaged, Kentucky Next… 2007-02-13 10:30:37 The BasketVols pulled off the revenge game like they were on a mission, beating down the Commodores of Vanderbilt (man, that’s like 73 letters or something) at one point being up as many as 30. It was pretty embarrassing to the bastard child of the SEC to not only have the UT players beat up on them, but then turn around and score higher than them on an exam regarding the war of 1812. Sure, the UT players copied off of the players from Vandy
, but how does that explain that UT scored higher? Perplexing, I know.
Wayne Chism was the story of the game, with the big play being a 360 dunk which made the entire Tennessee bench, along with the 24,000 in attendance climax simultaneously. It was quite a sight. Chris Lofton quietly scored near his season average of 80 points, and the hope is that he will bring his “A” game against the school that represents the state from which he was brought up in (man, I tried really hard to not end that sentence in a preposition, bu Read more:Kentucky
Vols > Cats 2007-02-14 07:55:49 Tennessee was able to beat their cross-border rival on Tuesday night, bringing Bruce Pearl’s orange blazer to 2-0 this season at home. He has stated that he would only wear the orange blazer for rivalry games which currently include Kentucky and Vanderbilt. Here’s the first vote for there to be rivalries with every other team that we play. Oh yeah, and the Florida football team too.
Chris Lofton, along with Duke Crews and Wayne Chism accounted for 57 of Tennessee’s 89 points (I actually did the math on that one… so it’s probably wrong). It’s good seeing the freshmen coming along with good interior play, as well as Lofton being able to stick it to his home state school by having his most productive game since his injury.
I faaaaart on your school Tubbs.
The crowd of close to 24,000 staged an “orange out” where just about everyone was wearing orange. I can’t say for sure if that was the reason, but the ESPN cameras seemed t
Time to Move On… (Part 1) 2007-02-16 14:01:27 We don’t usually write about pro sports. Well, not since the end of the Super Bowl, but we here at Fulmer’s Belly (which is basically me now, because don has decided to leave for more drunken pastures at the moment), felt the need to bring up an open coaching job for one of the “premiere coaches” of our humble league known as the Southeastern Conference.
This is an open letter to Urban Meyer:
You’ve filled your two-year quota of playing with and winning with (I’ll give credit where credit is due… to a point) other coaches’ players at your current school, and it’s about time you’ve moved on to greener pastures.
Urban’s record of ditching schools um, upward mobility has followed a pretty specific pattern. 2 years as the head man of the Bowling Green State University Falcons followed by 2 years as the head coach of the Utah Utes Fighting Mormons oh, it really is the Utes? Ok then, and now filling up his second year as
I (Heart) you too… 2007-02-17 08:09:56 I’ve always enjoyed watching ESPN. I’ve liked “the deuce” even more. I liked it back when they would show competitive bass feeding. Apparently, the feeling was mutual, as ESPN2 clearly (hearts) me back…
How sweet.
Read more:Heart
Implosion 2007-02-18 03:25:02 I know this has nothing to do with college football, the SEC, Tennessee, or anything like that, but the only big sporting event of the weekend is the All-Star weekend emanating from sunny Las Vegas, Nevada.
That being said, and my need for sports not being completely satiated by the NFL Replay of Super Bowl XLI, I decided to tune in to the network that so cleverly named itself after trinitrotoluene, an explosive chemical compound. Good play Ted.
But Ted’s brain must be about to explode (haha, see what i did there? that’s super clever) at the coverage of the event. I don’t know what TNT’s operating budget is, but I would imagine it would be more than the people who are submitting videos of the event via their cell phone cameras to YouTube. The reason I bring up YouTube? Well, the quality of the video on the popular video site is at least 20 times better than the quality of the crap they’re spewing out from Vegas.
There are glitches, skips, burps, a Read more:Implosion
Thump 2007-02-18 00:42:22 As it turns out, the NIT is apparently not a sucky tournament at all. South Carolina, winners of last year’s NIT, decided to use their game against Tennessee to come out of their shell and beat the crap out of an SEC opponent. South Carolina held on to the ball, only giving up 5 turnovers for the majority of the game (the last couple don’t really count, since they were playing people out of the crowd). Tennessee couldn’t get the temp where they wanted it, and couldn’t get the basketball in the metal thing that has the nylon netting below it (from what I understand, that is a fundamental part of this sport).
The level of apathy towards scoring was second only to Ryan Seacrest’s attempts at the Playboy Mansion. Zing! A Ryan Seacrest joke. All part of the service we like to provide here at Fulmer’s Belly.
Chris Lofton couldn’t really get in a rhythm, although Bert Bertlekamp, along with his infinitely insightful commentary (which consi Read more:Thump
The Number for Today is Three. 2007-02-20 05:11:21
Tennessee (18-8)
vs.
South Carolina (12-12)
Tennessee Home Roster Stats Schedule
South Carolina Home Roster Stats Schedule
Columbia, SC - There is only one team lower in the SEC East than we are, and we lost to them today. South Carolina (13-12, 3-9 SEC) came into the game on a 5 game losing streak. Tennessee (18-9, 6-6 SEC) came into the game on a 3 game win streak, off two key wins against Vanderbilt and Kentucky…and then this happened. Seventeen points.
Out of the gates, SC seemed to be on a mission. They hit almost 50% from the field and over 50% from three point land. Coming into the game, the Cocks were shooting on average 40% overall. In the first ten minutes, they shot 72%. But then things started to change. A Jajuan shot here, a Ramar shot there and we were on a run. We were making good shot selection, playing good defense, and on the way back. All the articles I’ve seen up so far say the point Tennessee came closest was when Dane hit his Read more:Number
, Today
, Three
Money? 2007-02-23 12:14:16 Bert Bertelkamp, the color analyst for VolNetwork is quite possibly the single worst commentator since the “Austin Incident” where Brent Musburger, in a drunken haze, still reeling from the roofies put in his pre-game cocktail by Bob Davie in an attempt to “seize the power of the footbaw mic.”
Seriously though, Mr. Bertelkamp, please retire. You suck. I could do a better job at commentating than you, simply based on the fact that I have a vocabulary larger than my dog’s. In fact, my dog has a larger vocabulary than Bert Bertelkamp. Nevermind that I don’t have a dong, but if I did, I’d train him to know at least 2 words (see what I did there?).
As it turns out, Bert, wanting to get in on any audio clip possible, decides with stunning voracity and frequency, that it would be a good idea to yell random things after Bob Kesling announces that a Tennessee player has made a basket. Apparently, at some point, a determination was made that thinkin Read more:Money
BasketVols win on the road!!! 2007-02-25 12:17:06 The impossible has happened. In a move that would make Paris Hilton proud (get it? scoring on the road? no? ok, fine), the BasketVols were able to fight off the Hogs of Arkansas, bringing the win total to the respectable, but still too young to gamble, number of 20. The win even caught the Vols off guard as Bruce Pearl was overheard muttering something about Chris Lofton not playing being the reason for the loss.
By the time he realized that the speech was from a few weeks ago, the Vols were so overjoyed regarding a road win, that in a Vanderbilt-like moment, the team didn’t know how to celebrate, and decided to take exams in molecular physics. Okay, so maybe they didn’t follow the Vanderbilt fantasy date to the letter, but they were excited nonetheless.
Lofton, seen celebrating the game by skipping in a decidedly awesome manner
So, the BasketVols now have one home and one away game left on the slate. The home game being against Florida (where Pat Summitt will
They’re Not Saying “Boo” They’re Saying “Mooovers” 2007-02-28 06:28:13 And we’re not saying Duuuuke Crewwwwws, we’re saying Youuuu Tuuuuube.
Here’s the Video of Coach Summitt paying back Bruce Pearl for turning into the hulk prior to a Lady Vols game.
Read more:Not Saying
I said it’s great… to be… 2007-02-28 05:48:49 The Vols beat the Gators of Florida 86-76 in Dane Bradshaw’s last game at home as a Tennessee Volunteer. They were able to go 16-0 at home for the first time since Bernard King and Ernie Grunfeld were able to go 13-0 at home (which was at the Stinky Stokeley Athletic Center) back in the late 1970’s. But you know what? You’re not here for that kind of rundown. So here we go.
Brent Musburger… ever the drunk slow talker, decided to talk into the first few seconds of the Florida Tennessee game. Normally, I’m all about sticking with action until it’s finished, but the Michigan/Michigan State game was pretty much over when the second half started.
On to Pat Summitt. I was out of my seat singing along to Rocky Top when I saw here out there in the cheerleading outfit, and you know what? I got half a chub. Mmmm, middle aged women’s basketball coaches. It was either that or the fact that I had 9 supermodels vying for my attention at the time
Belly to Jiggle Longer 2007-03-02 12:18:01 We here at Fulmer’s Belly have been accused of many things. Of being awesome, really awesome and of course, super duper awesome. What we haven’t been accused of is hating Phillip Fulmer. Do you know why? It’s because we LOVE Phillip Fulmer. We really do. I mean, if the Great Pumpkin were ever fired or if he retired, our site would refer to a body part of a coach that is sitting on the couch. Sure, the actual belly would probably grow, but this site, would not.
That is why we are very proud to announce that FulmersBelly.com Coach Phillip Fulmer has been given a 2 year contract extension, breathing new life into those of us that love our coach (and not just because we staked our future on naming a website after him).
This actually leaves the rotund one in office long enough for us to retrieve one of our contributing editors from the swampy jungles of… Frankfurt. Mmmmm, frankfurters, tasty (not the hot dogs… the people… don’t ask m
Wocka Wocka… 2007-03-02 08:37:02 Okay, so this isn’t a college football-related story, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention the story about Adam “Pacman” Jones, cornerback for the Tennessee Titans. Of course, most people have heard the story, but just in case you haven’t… well, google it, because I’m too lazy to link it for you. HA!
So, the story being that Jones was at a nightclub in Las Vegas over the NBA All-Star weekend, where he rained money on some dancers, and yadda yadda yadda, two people were shot.
Very Seinfeldian I know, yaddaing through the seemingly important parts, but that’s not the point of this post. The point being that a lot of Titan’s fans are angered by Jones’ involvement in yet another off-the-field incident (none of which however, he has been convicted for). Jones was at the center of controversy at one point when he made a statement that the Titans needed more “thugs” on the team. It seems that he is trying to
UT’s Coaches Kinda Dumb. 2007-03-03 04:54:14 Tennessee took part in it’s second practice of the Spring approximately 2-3 years before any other team in the country has even thought about Spring. This, no doubt attributed to the fact that for most of the country, it’s still somewhere around -300 degrees (that’d be Celsius, not Fahrenheit) outside.
The dumb part comes in due to the fact that apparently the practice was “designated as a practice in which full to-the-ground tackling was not allowed.” Now, I’m all about the NCAA rules being a bit iron-fisted, but Tennessee doesn’t seem to realize that the SEC is a favorite of the NCAA as an “example” league in which they are punished for infractions in order to serve as an example for the rest of the country to be wary of. That being said, teams must designate practices as full-pad, tackling, shorts, bikini bottoms only, etc… and said rules must be followed strictly in order to avoid additional penalties.
Why is designatin Read more:Coaches
, Kinda
Home Sweet Home To Me (Part 1) 2007-03-05 13:45:05 Joel over at Rocky Top Talk first brought this story to light. DJ Gallo, not associate with wines, and also not associated with jockeying disks of any kind, wrote an article over at ESPN about the lyrics regarding Rocky Top, and has a few questions about the song that was written no doubt, during a drunken binge of moonshine.Anyway, we here at Fulmer’s Belly are nothing if not excited to give totally true completely made up answers to Northerners who don’t quite understand the “ways” of the South. In an almost mind-blowing vortex of satire satire, we will take a shot at answering the burning questions posed by DJ “Jazzy” Gallo in a gripping two part series.
(BTW, in order to make this work, we’re going to have to repost basically the entire article from there to here, but in case we get a nastygram from ESPN, click the link above to the article, and click here for lyrics to the original song along with MIDI Rocky Top terror goodness).
Part One Read more:Sweet
, Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home to Me (Part 2) 2007-03-06 18:11:11 In Part One of our compelling series, we took at look at some of the questions raised by DJ Gallo regarding the unofficial fight song of the University of Tennessee. Now, we take a look at the second and final part of the unofficial Q&A session. Enjoy:
two strangers climbed ol’ Rocky Top
Lookin’ for a moonshine still;
Strangers ain’t come down from Rocky Top,
Reckon they never will.
(Soooooo … am I to gather that you kill federal officers who investigate illegal production of alcoholic beverages, and that you’re so blazed about it you see no problem singing it out to the world? I see. You Tennesseans have a bit of an anger problem, don’t you? Now I’m kind of wishing I hadn’t written this. Please don’t take my honest questions the wrong way. I don’t want any violence.)
**First off, the song doesn’t mention that anyone was a federal anything, but if one is to make inferences about the identity of the “strangers,R Read more:Sweet
, Home Sweet Home
They *#$% You With the Cell Phones… 2007-03-07 05:23:07 Mistakes were made. The fabulous Wooten Award, awarded to the top player in College Basketball is now on the internets!!!! You can vote! And I quote… “Voting is free* and you can vote as many times as you like.” C’mon America, you know you like the shiny star by free. Oh Los Angeles Athletic Club, you are like, totally not trying to overcompensate for the much more recognizable Heisman given out by the Downtown Athletic Club of New York. The website says you can vote online, however holds no place to do so. You can, however, text your players SUPER SECRET CODE!!!! to the number 46786. Now all this being said, this new method of user voting I believe puts some of the candidates at an extreme disadvantage for these reasons:
1). The only folks in Texas with cell phones are inmates. Sorry Kevin Durant.
2). No ones SUPER SECRET CODE should be FAZEKASUNR or NEITZELMSU. I mean, it was hard enough for me to copy and paste, I can’t imagine trying to typ Read more:Phones
Takin’ It Easy 2007-03-09 19:26:43 Who says Tennesseans aren’t nice? No one? Oh, well, for the sake of my argument, how about we just say that people don’t think we’re nice. Anyway, the BasketVols of Tennessee are in fact so generous, that they decided to spread the proverbial “wealth” as far as NCAA Tournament bids are concerned.
You see, Tennessee is a lock for the tournament, and could only have improved their seeding by winning all these games in Atlanta. This would however, come at the cost of the team being emotionally and physically drained next week when the tournament starts. Obviously, The Incredible Hulk Coach Bruce Pearl decided it would be best to just sit around and relax for a week to get rested up for the tournament that actually counts and isn’t being broadcast on Lincoln Financial Sports. That being said, they wanted to help out the SEC by offering LSU a mercy victory. Sure, it looked like the Vols wanted to win, with their tying the game up to go int Read more:Takin
Sitemeter is teh Sux0rz 2007-03-12 09:03:13 There will be some upcoming comments on the um, upcoming… tournament.
Until then, I would like to send a shoutout to sitemeter, who has been reporting our traffic as being zero for a week straight. As much as I know that this is indeed possible, I know that I, myself have visited the site so boo.
If anyone knows how to fix it, let me know, and if you don’t, you will be shot and eaten. Thank you.
Sitemeter is teh r0×0rz? 2007-03-15 11:03:14 Perhaps I spoke too soon with the post 2 posts down when I laid into sitemeter for not tracking visitors and making me sad. As it turns out, the sitemeter is working again, and the information that was seemingly not being recorded has been restored. W00.
Well, yeah, so, this isn’t that exciting, and I don’t know why I’m even posting this, so, here’s some pics of some UT Cheerleaders and Dance Team members. Enjoy.
Can you guess which is the best seat in the house?
Booty? Yes Please. And it is glorious
If you look really hard, you can see the letters v-o-l-s in this picture.
Sitemeter is teh r0×0rz? 2007-03-15 11:01:49 Perhaps I spoke too soon with the post 2 posts down when I laid into sitemeter for not tracking visitors and making me sad. As it turns out, the sitemeter is working again, and the information that was seemingly not being recorded has been restored. W00.
Well, yeah, so, this isn’t that exciting, and I don’t know why I’m even posting this, so, here’s some pics of some UT Cheerleaders and Dance Team members. Enjoy.
Can you guess which is the best seat in the house?
Booty? Yes Please. And it is glorious
If you look really hard, you can see the letters v-o-l-s in this picture.
Patriots Try Again 2007-03-15 10:52:22 The Boston New England Patriots
, coming off a loss in the AFC Championship game at the hands of UT Alum Peyton Manning, have decided to heed the old saying: “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” They seem to have come to the realization that former UT players are the awesomest players in the universe, and are hedging their bets by singing two of them.
The two former felons players in question are DontA Donte Stallworth and Kelley “The Future” Washington. Both players played for UT for less than 4 years, but both were pretty good receivers whilst doing their time at the orange crush.
Of course, Stallworth is somewhat famous or infamous if you will, (with UT fans anyway) about his not saying “Donte Stallworth, Wide Receiver, University of Tennessee” during the little offense introduction segments, instead saying something to the effect of “Donte Stallworth, High School Graduate and two time GED holder.” That’s fin Read more:Again
Holy Farkin Crap 2007-03-16 22:01:44 All week, I had been mentioning to my friends, colleagues, and imaginary friends (some would say they’re all one and the same), about how Long Beach State is a scary matchup for the BasketVols. Did I say scary matchup? I meant scary for Long Beach State! I meant scary for the scorekeeper. I meant scary for the possibility of Bruce Pearl’s son playing (which didn’t happen).
Tennessee was able to tie a school record of 121 points scored in a game. What I’m not sure about is whether or not that was in a regulation game or perhaps in a triple OT affair. I mean, 121 points in regulation doesn’t seem right. The only other time I’d even heard about that many points being scored in a college game was an exhibition game between the UT Lady Vols and Canadian dwarf College Dalhausie where Candace Parker and company won 131-40. 131 to 40. HAHAHAHA. Sorry.
But this was a game against a conference champion in the NCAA tournament. I mean, dub
March Madness has begun! 2007-03-15 18:58:01 And if you didn’t pick Tennessee to win the tourney, you’re lame.
Unless you have money on it - a substantial amount of money. $5 office pools don’t count.
Read more:March
, Madness
, March Madness
Can’t… Hear… Anymore… 2007-03-17 21:20:11 Why is that? Because I just stuck sharpened spikes into my ears. Why did I do that? Because of whoever it is that is doing the play-by-play commentary on the Lexington games made me.
I mean, I don’t even know what the hell his name is, but I do believe he’s got to be the single most over-dramatic commentator in the history of commentary. I mean, holy hell dude, where’d you learn how to talk? The William Shatner school of emphasis?
“There are COAches, and there are COAches, and HE’S a COACH!”
Who the fuck is this, Mike Tirico? I mean, c’mon. I’ve tried a little bit to find out who the hell is doing the commentary, but quite frankly, I don’t care enough to expend more than a couple of minutes looking for the answer. But I’m thinking it’s perhaps Ted Tirico, younger brother of Mike, with an even bigger chip on his shoulder. God help us all.
Can’t… Hear… Anymore… 2007-03-17 21:19:09 Why is that? Because I just stuck sharpened spikes into my ears. Why did I do that? Because of whoever it is that is doing the play-by-play commentary on the Lexington games made me.
I mean, I don’t even know what the hell his name is, but I do believe he’s got to be the single most over-dramatic commentator in the history of commentary. I mean, holy hell dude, where’d you learn how to talk? The William Shatner school of emphasis?
“There are COAches, and there are COAches, and HE’S a COACH!”
Who the fuck is this, Mike Tirico? I mean, c’mon. I’ve tried a little bit to find out who the hell is doing the commentary, but quite frankly, I don’t care enough to expend more than a couple of minutes looking for the answer. But I’m thinking it’s perhaps Ted Tirico, younger brother of Mike, with an even bigger chip on his shoulder. God help us all.
Can’t… Hear… Anymore… 2007-03-17 21:18:08 Why is that? Because I just stuck sharpened spikes into my ears. Why did I do that? Because of whoever it is that is doing the play-by-play commentary on the Lexington games made me.
I mean, I don’t even know what the hell his name is, but I do believe he’s got to be the single most over-dramatic commentator in the history of commentary. I mean, holy hell dude, where’d you learn how to talk? The William Shatner school of emphasis?
“There are COAches, and there are COAches, and HE’S a COACH!”
Who the fuck is this, Mike Tirico? I mean, c’mon. I’ve tried a little bit to find out who the hell is doing the commentary, but quite frankly, I don’t care enough to expend more than a couple of minutes looking for the answer. But I’m thinking it’s perhaps Ted Tirico, younger brother of Mike, with an even bigger chip on his shoulder. God help us all.
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