Owner: Fulmer's Belly URL:http://www.fulmersbelly.com Join Date: Tue, 22 Aug 2006 10:11:21 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: Fulmer's Belly is a news/humor blog dealing primarily with college football, the SEC and Tennessee in particular, but articles from all over the NCAA can be found here. We give a tongue in cheek perspective unique among most other college football blogs Site statistics:Click here
Let’s Go Outback Tonight 2006-12-12 00:00:57 Okay, so, I’m not a huge fan of bowl games absorbing the names of their sponsors, if for no other reason than, well, it’s stupid. Another problem I have is what would happen if say, the sponsor decided to pull it’s money, or even worse, if it became obsolete? I mean, what would have happened if this practice had been followed say, 10 years ago?
Would we still have the Super Pager’s Plus Bowl today? Or would it be changed to something more relevant for today (but perhaps not in another 10 years) like the iloveboobies.com bowl? Actually, I’d love to play for that bowl, because, well, I do love boobies.
But alas, that is the world we now live in. Corporate sponsWHOREship (like what I did there? I made up a word) in the worst way has come to rest on the sacred institution we like to call “college football bowls that aren’t for money making, but for good matchups of teams that would not normally face each other year in and year out” Read more:Outback
, Tonight
Awards Ceremonies 2006-12-12 07:35:24 Ok folks, although we were following the story, we didn’t really report on it until just now. Joel and some other folks have gotten together an awards program that will award EDSBS attempt to spread the wealth of awards a bit out in the College Football Blogosphere. I know it’s kind of specific, sort of like saying: “the best dancer with one lazy eye currently dancing in my room,” but as it turns out, there are a LOT of CFB Blogs out there, and that being said, the best ones must be praised, whilst the crappy ones languish in their mediocrity.
Check out Joel’s Post about the 2006 College Football Blogger Awards
, for a more thorough explanation of the rules and criteria.
Also, be sure to go to the Nomination Congregation Initiation Generation machine, (anyone else notice that the subfolder is called suxors?) and nominate us for one of the categories. I haven’t read though all the categories because well, frankly, I can’t read (there, I sai
Heisman Schmeisman 2006-12-12 20:14:28 Troy Smith is quite the man. He’s the quarterback of the #1 football team in the country. He’s a probable first round (if not first overall) draft pick, he’s dating Beyonce (we haven’t been able to confirm this one for sure, but we’re pretty sure it’s true), and he just won the Heisman
Trophy.
For those who ever said that the government ever shows preferential treatment to those that are better off, well, they’re probably right, but apparently that courtesy doesn’t extend as far as the TSA (the airport security dudes). As it turns out, Troy Smith wasn’t able to take his Heisman Trophy on the plane, like Eddie George did (the last Buckeye to win the leather helmeted dude). Of course, Eddie’s trophy had one finger bent when it go stuck in the x-ray machine (I think I know which finger it was).
Can’t you just imagine the questioning process?
Security: “Sir, what the hell is that?”
Smith: “Uh, this?
Outback with PSU-UTK 2006-12-13 06:54:34 The game between Penn State and Tennessee (I was trying to do something funny with the letters, like Pshhhuuuuuut, but alas, it just wasn’t in the cards) will be the third the fourth the tenth um, a meeting between two teams that have long, storied histories. As it turns out, most of the history of the Penn State Football Program still roams the sidelines on gamedays, not so much as a ghost, but as an old man wearing awesome glasses. As far as the history of the Tennessee Football Program, well, we’re pretty sure Coach Fulmer ate most of it, but some of it is still there I’m sure.
The Nittany Lions and the Volunteers (perhaps two of the most ambiguous mascots ever, because who the hell knows what a nittany lion is? or what kind of volunteer? are they serving soup to homeless people?) will meet in the Outback
“don’t call me the Hall of Fame” Bowl on January 1, 2007. This game will set the tone for the coming football season the rest of the day, and
1-AA Championship Football 2006-12-14 13:41:08 You know, there’s actually still college football being played these days, and surprisingly, those that are playing currently, are trying to determine a champion through a playoff system. Madness I tell you, madness.
The Division 1-AA Championship Football
Subdivision of Division 1 Football Championship is slated to take place in Chattanooga, TN (where both Don and I attended high school, not that it matters, just thought I’d throw that out there, ooh, and once, I was a ticket taker for the game, and I was cool) between UMass, and Appalachian State. The game is the culmination of a playoff to determine the champion in the Championship Football Sub… aw hell, I don’t feel like typing it all out.
Don’t these schools know any better? No one is going to talk about what the hell is going on with your sport unless there is controversy people. Settling it on the field? Overrated. Until you learn from the big boys, you’ll always be 1-double A to me.
Aft
CoachSpeak: Behind the Curtain 2006-12-15 19:41:55 Everyone has heard of coachspeak. The cliche phrases that coaches spit out whenever they’re asked a question that they don’t feel like answering truthfully. We’ve even had the CoachSpeak Translator in full force after the Pac 10 School for the Blind officials blew the call against Oklahoma when they played Oregon.
As much as it pains me to say positive things about Urban Meyer (which I’ve been doing a lot of lately… damnit), I liked his little interview where he made fun of the CoachSpeak. Exhibit A:
You know what, that’s actually kind of funny. I will attempt to have bad things to say about Urban from this point onward in order to make up for the good things I’ve said about him. A ratio of 100 bad to 1 good should work out fine. That, and I just slapped myself in the face a few times.
Read more:Curtain
So Long Tirico 2006-12-19 05:21:48 I was watching Monday Night Football, and I realized that I am really glad they shook up some of the announcing crews for the ESPN College Football broadcasts. I actually like Mike Patrick announcing games, because (unless it’s Tennessee doing something well), he actually gets pretty excited about big plays. I liked it when he did the Sunday Night NFL games, because he could make something sound interesting between two teams I could care less about.
Of course it’s not all good, because Ron Franklin, the Godfather of announcers, was relegated to doing the ACC nightcap barnburner between Duke and UNC. Franklin, an alum of Ole Miss, loves SEC football, and it comes across when he announces the games (although he got to go to Hawaii for a game at the end of the season).
Of course it’s not all bad, in fact, it’s mostly good. Why? Two words: Mike Tirico. I thought I liked Mike Tirico, but then I realized I only liked Mike when he did the Thursday Night games wit
BasketVols Win a Thrillah! 2006-12-20 08:51:25 I’ve always wondered if there was anything quite as exciting as college football. The “running through the T,” the roar of a third down defensive stop, the euphoria of a kick return for a touchdown, the sheer bliss of an overtime win. Is there anything better? Well, no.
That having been said, there is apparently excitement to be found in other sports. I know what you’re asking: “there’s other sports?” Yeah, I said the same thing to myself too, but as it turns out, there are other sports, and apparently basketball’s one of them.
The BasketVols took on the Cowprodsboys of Oklahoma State in the neutral semi-neutral second home site of the Volunteers, the Gaylord Entertainment Center. The only way the place wasn’t a neutral site was that the floor wasn’t painted orange. Even the visiting fans, trying to fit in, decided to wear orange to the game as well (I don’t believe in the whole “their colors are oran
Goin’ Bowlin’ 2006-12-21 20:05:24 WOOOOHOOOOO! The college football bowl season is finally upon us. Sure, the first few games are kind of well, really shitty, but it’s still awesome. Like my Don’s herpes, after a short period of dormancy, College Football has returned to our TV sets and Pro Stadiums around the country.
Of course, the first bowl of the season gets the same sort of reverence as the first Preseason NFL game. Lots of excitement, followed by a disappointing game. And of course, we can’t forget the sponsors. In a world where sponsors are becoming so hostile as to actually start taking over the actual names of the bowl games, we can rest assured, that the upstanding folks over at the San Diego County Credit Union still have their morals, and won’t infringe on the historic name: Poinsettia Bowl.
Totally Stole this image, will probably be sued.
I mean, just think about it, up in lights: The Sand Diego County Credit Union Bowl! That’s pretty snazzy. It stirs the emotions.
Drunker than Drunk? 2006-12-22 05:30:23 Watching the Las Vegas Bowl, one thing jumped out at me was that Brent Musburger, often touted on this very site as being a dirty dirty drunkard, was way more animated than usual. It took me the better part of 12 seconds to realize what was happening there. I mean, they were in Las Vegas after all, and once 2 and 2 were put together, it was obvious that Brent had ingested so much alcohol, that he actually awoke from his perpetual drunken stupor. This was the first game in awhile where he didn’t sound on the urge of passing out (probably because he had quite a bit of money riding on the game).
On another note, could the Las Vegas bowl have been more boring? In keeping with a Las Vegas-type analogy, it was akin to watching poker being played live (as in not being able to see any of the cards). If you’ve ever seen a poker match live (I have seen a few big-time televised matches live, and believe me, it was… not very exciting.
Probably the most exciting part of the g
Merry Christmas 2006-12-22 21:35:20 Merry Christmas
everybody!
And to those that are too PC to be able to say “Merry Christmas
,” we say to you: “piss off and grow a pair.”
The Rockettes say to enjoy your Christmas, and eat lots of food and get really drunk and fat. Enjoy.
Read more:Merry
Random Happenings… 2006-12-27 09:52:24 Hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend, and is ready to get back to some serious TV watching. Because, ’tis the season to be a lazy, fattening bum watching sports of various genres. Yay! No baseball!
Is it just me, or is Tennessee basketball actually pretty exciting to watch? Team’s down by 10? It’s because they’re eating lunch. Down by 15? Got them right where they want them.
Dane Bradshaw, the basketball-playing torso has at least 5 balls. That guy, is all balls.
Well, as far as Chris Lofton is concerned, if there was ever a need for a last second heave ho of the ball, he could just shoot it like normal. That LeBron James commercial? Lofton can do it for real.
Shot taken from Knoxville, when playing in Nashville… Chris made the shot.
The Tit(an)s are the same way. I think they sometimes get down in score on purpose.
VY is a ballah~! That kid, with the weird ass sidearm throw, can throw a ball that doesn’t even arc. Read more:Random
, Happenings
It’s almost over 2006-12-27 18:11:42 In just about a week, college football season will be completely over. The NFL playoffs will start and it will keep most of us content for a short while, but in February, there will be no more football until August (I don’t count arena league - it’s kind of like Nicorette gum - not a good substitute). So here’s a few things to do in the off season:
Wait for national signing day. Then you can spend a few moments wondering if future teams will be any good.
Stalk Urban Meyer. Tell him how stupid he is. Keep it up until he finally realizes it. Then get him to change his really gay name.
Watch the NFL draft. Cry when Meachem’s name is called (as much as I’d love for him to stay, I don’t see how he could turn the NFL down).
Watch the orange and white game. Realize that the 2007 season will suck too (9-3 is a great season…if you’re South Carolina, Kentucky, or Vanderbilt).
Read up on Fulmersbelly.com. We (read: Jon) will keep
Football Players are Fat Hungry Fat 2006-12-29 07:14:46 The Tennessee Volunteers and the Nittany Lions of the Pennsylvania State University stuffed their gulches in Tampa at with food from a local Outback Steakhouse. Obviously, this is one of the better scenarios as far as getting swag from a bowl game goes. All told, the players (read: coach Fulmer) ate close to 200 cows worth of meat and there are now no more lobsters or pasta anywhere in the state of Florida. The actual numbers were almost just as gross as what I carefully researched made up just then.
And a feast it was as the teams devoured 5,000 lbs of food including 750 lbs of steak, 1,100 lbs of lobster & shrimp pasta, 700 lbs of Caesar salad, 200 lbs of green beans, 950 lbs of Bloomin Onions and 1,300 lbs of chocolate cake.
You hold I eat.
Holy crap. That’s almost as much food as Don and I ate (like the correct use of the whole “Don and I” part?) the last time we were treated at our favorite restaurant: Live Nudes Bar (and Grill). Of course, our food wa Read more:Football
, Players
, Hungry
Outback Fun 2006-12-29 10:54:25 In my previous post, I mentioned that the players seemed to have gotten a break when they were able to eat free Outback
Food as a byproduct of going to the Outback Bowl, but the more and more I look into it, the more and more I think the Outback bowl is awesome!
Outback Bowl, more fun than corporate money grubbing w00.
I mean, go to their site: outbackbowl.com (convenient huh?), and what’s the first thing you see? A picture of players at Busch Gardens riding a roller coaster. Go to Capitalonebowl.com (not even gonna include a link, cuz it’s stupid), and the first thing you see? Not fun and playfulness, you see feigned fun, with the mascot contest crap. I mean, it’s capitalism run amok I tell you.
Anyway, just thought I’d point out that I actually enjoy going to the outbackbowl.com site and damnit, I’m gonna go Outback (if I can find one) tonight.
Tennessee Beats the ‘Tech’ out of TTU 2006-12-29 10:01:30 Bruce Pearl did it again. He’s been able to work the magic of making games against the likes of Tennessee
Tech a “rivalry” again. If that seemed like a facetious statement, it wasn’t because quite frankly, when Buzz was around, those teams would come in like they owned the place (you know, redecorating, ordering pizza, that kind of thing), and leave with a free win in front of 1,000 fans (995 of which were their own fans).
It’s actually kind of nice to be able to have “cupcake” games that you know the team is going to win. I mean, if you think about it, the Vols used to be the cupcake game on everyone else’s schedules. Well, no more.
Did someone say cupcake?
Seriously though, Tennessee Tech? Are they even a real school? I mean, are they sort of like ITT Tech, or DeVry? (See, that’s a funny reference to anyone in the South, but pretty much nowhere else) I wouldn’t imagine a Technical Institute would really be t Read more:Beats
“I Quit!” 2007-01-02 07:09:19 It was interesting watching the Fiesta Bowl to say the least. I mean, not to mention it was a back and forth game that went into overtime with Boise State pulling out the improbable win against Oklahoma, but it was interesting in the sense that you were able to listen live, as a commentator was losing his job.
Why is that? Well, Fox, having spent something in the neighborhood of $305,303,102,385.98 (est.) for the rights to show the BCS games (and not even all of them), had a commentator say on the air that the very game that he was calling, the very game that Fox sold their kidney for, was showing further evidence that there should be a playoff.
Of course, I, and just about every team out there would love to see a playoff, although I wouldn’t go all crazy and say that Boise would have a shot against Ohio State. Of course, I don’t think Troy Smith is really gonna ham it up for the camera the way Ian Johnson did by proposing to his woman, but hey, if you can bag a cheerl
Big Ten = Best Conference EVAR? 2007-01-02 05:05:38 Everyone knows the SEC = awesome, and well, today, the Big Ten
vs. SEC, the Big Ten is an outstanding 2-0. Through the transitive property (finally, I got to use some geometry), one must assume that the Big Ten is in fact the greatest conference ever.
I mean, it’s like me, for example. Everyone knows that I am the single most awesome force alive today, and it would be like me losing a hot chick to some other dude. That would instantaneously make that other dude the greatest dude ever. But who am I kidding? That could never happen, so I guess the example needs to be thought of only in the abstract.
The SEC had gone 3-1 until New Year’s Day, where they picked up one game (Auburn over somebody), and dropped two more (Arkansas, Tennessee).
Tennessee wasn’t able to hold up their half of the bargain, and lost their last game of the season. All Tennessee fans are hoping that this will lead to motivation for Robert Meachem to come back next year to avenge the loss
Tonight, Tonight 2007-01-08 21:34:36 Well, tonight’s the night. Don and I will finally lose our virginity! Our virginity for national championship games that are played at the same site as a previous BCS bowl game that was played there just a week earlier with a team that thinks it should be able to play against the big boys.
I know that’s pretty specific, but you know, when there’s nothing left to lose your virginity to, you have to be creative. Especially considering how awesome we both are…
Anyway, coming up in the next few weeks will be commentary of course on the big game tonight, on recruits, and of course, on the Saban Coaching Countdown.
Enjoy the game everyone.
Read more:Tonight
Hardcore Beatdown 2007-01-10 09:45:09 I was facing quite a dilemma going into the Championship Game. Whether or not I should root for Florida. On one hand, if Florida were to win, they would help show that the SEC deserves respect, but on the other hand… it’s freaking Florida.
I spoke with representatives from other schools around the SEC, and when I asked if they would root for Florida, everyone hesitated. I can’t say I blame them. It’d be like asking someone whether they’d like to eat a hot coal or… well, root for Florida. On the surface, it seems that rooting for Florida might be a good bet, upon further inspection, the answer to that question becomes unclear.
Anyway, congratulations to the Gators of Florida for bringing the Sears ADT Coaches’ Trophy back to the South.
And to Ohio State, I say to you: the rematch with Michigan looks pretty good huh? I guess a rematch between the two would have shown… well, who wasn’t #1.
I know this one was short, but we& Read more:Beatdown
Girl Power 2007-01-11 07:54:55 It’s over. There’s the Senior Bowl, the Hula Bowl, and the North-South Game, but for all intents and purposes, College Football is over.
Of course, we can look forward to the combine, recruits, the NFL Draft, Spring Ball, and well, months and months of nothing but baseball coverage, but this is the time where college football fans all across the country go on suicide watch.
Of course, the last game of the season turned out to be somewhat of a yawner with Florida dominating the game from start to finish. Of course, there were some fun games during the bowl season, but all in all, the postseason was again a huge ass disappointment. Can we just have a playoff please?
I don’t want to turn this into a playoff rant, so maybe I’ll turn it into a pro “more football” rant. Maybe there should be ladies’ football. It wouldn’t necessarily have to be “lingerie bowl” football, but you know, there’s lots of girls out there wh Read more:Girl Power
Vanderbilt Sucks 2007-01-11 19:29:40 An interesting take on last night’s bball game against Vanderbilt
.
http://www.jbragg.com/archives/2007/01/cant_see_the_fo.html
Puberty Revisited 2007-01-12 07:53:12 It’s like the Middle School Sadie Hawkins dance all over again. Your favorite blog and mine, your very own Fulmer’s Belly.com was completely shut out of the Blogger Awards. We would like to send out our thanks to all those who nominated us (which is basically 8thMaxim and well, me), and would like to thank the tireless work of everyone else who, well, didn’t.
It’s sort of like we won one of those “worst movie” awards (I don’t even know what they’re called), which I guess in a sense, is an honor in and of itself. I mean, with something like 1200 blogs being nominated officially, it actually takes quite a bit of effort to be able to be completely shut out.
Of course, after writing all of this, it will probably turn out that we were in fact nominated for something (like the whiners of the year award), but what can you do? I’ve never been a part of the “cool” group (although Don has, and he didn’t let me into h Read more:Revisited
Who Needs the NFL? 2007-01-13 09:13:38 The All American Football League, slated to begin playing actual games in the spring of 2008, is going to be a new professional football league with emphasis on education (players must have received a 4-year degree to be eligible) as well as tradition linked to college.
The AAFL (just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? almost like AFLAC…) will be hosted at various stadiums, many of which, are on the campuses of Universities with teams featuring players that played for that University or players from that University’s conference.
You can read more about the actual league here for the wiki and here for the official site.
The City of Birmingham has signed up as well as Purdue University, NC State University, the University of Florida and the University of Tennessee.
Freaking WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I mean, this is what I’ve been waiting for! Damn, I wish I still lived in Knoxville (hell, I might move back for this), but the ability to waste away the crappy summer month Read more:Needs
Ohio State Sucks Too 2007-01-13 21:33:30 Two games, two, last second losses. Who would’ve thought it would be Chris Lofton who would miss a free throw to possibly lose it for the team?
Funny how far we’ve come. From the era of “Buzz-(kill) Ball” where a loss to a top 5 team by 2 points at the end of the game would be the watermark for the season to now, where a loss to any team, regardless of rank, is unacceptable. Bruce Pearl really must be the man. The man who must order his team to shoot 500 free throws during practice that is.
OhioState
basically beat Tennessee using the BasketVols game against them, shooting three point shots at opportune times and causing quick shots on the other end. Overall, it seemed like State was able to do just enough of what was needed, using their size advantage to um, their advantage.
If nothing else, Tennessee shouldn’t be hit too hard in the rankings considering OSU’s ranking and the small margin of victory not to mention that it wasn’t a c Read more:Ohio State
Bensel-Meyers, Still a Beyotch 2007-01-15 21:48:31 Linda’s at it again. Actually, she’s not, but she was interviewed for the story involving Demetrice Morley being dismissed from the University for super shitty grades.
"I don't think there's going to be any change at Tennessee," Bensel-Meyers
, who is now an associate professor at the University of Denver, said in a telephone interview. "The teams that will prosper are those that are able to disguise the ways they bend the academic rules. As long as they want to keep their program, they're probably going to continue.
It’s not bad enough that Dee Morley was kicked out of school for being enterprising by boosting his GPA by going to a correspondent’s school, but now lil’ miss morals has to chime in. Dude, the only reason there was even a University for you to trash-talk to make your 15 minutes of fame is because of the athletic department. Do you think anyone would have given a flying shit stick if the school sucked in all things athletic? I m
Auburn Sucks Too 2007-01-18 04:40:50 Hopefully we can retire this set of headlines after today. Auburn
, as well as Yahoo, suck, beating the Volunteers by a score of 83-77 80. Why does Yahoo suck too? Well, not living in the south anymore, I’ve found the necessity to “watch” the games on the Yahoo video, but pictures freezing as well as rebuffering literally every 3 seconds doesn’t, to me, constitute “watching” anything except my fist going through the monitor.
Auburn, with their 30 fans in attendance, were able to rally from a 14 point deficit to beat the Vols, who have dropped 3 straight games. The only bright point was that Bruce Pearl got another Technical Foul, bringing his total for the season to somewhere in the neighborhood of 46. If we can’t beat you, our coach will cuss you out. Eat THAT SEC!
Anyway, I guess it’s better to get the losses out of the way now, rather than dropping any games at the end of the season. Yeah, that’s it.
Louisville Hates Trump 2007-01-19 22:45:36 Louisville, the school with a lil’ chip on it’s shoulder, the school that thinks it can play with the big boys (trust me, it can’t), the school that thinks it’s a good idea to sell out to corporate pressure, sucks.
Now, to break with the tradition, they don’t suck because they beat the BasketVols, but they suck for a much more egregious reason. They have kicked a girl off of their cheer squad and out of the school, for being… well, a college student.
If you haven’t heard or seen on your favorite porn news site, Becca Manns, former cheerleader for the Louisville Papa Johns Cardinals was kicked not only off the cheer squad, but out of school for having taken explicit photos of herself. I guess technically it wasn’t because she took the photos so much as her ex-boyfriend distributed said pictures.
When you start kicking kids out of school for being horny, where do you stop? I mean, all you’d have left would be the really super ne Read more:Louisville
, Hates
, Trump
Gators Suck Too? 2007-01-22 04:44:18 Wow, what a game.
The Colts were able to beat the Gators
Patriots in the AFC Championship game for a trip to the Super Bowl. A huge part of the win was Peyton Manning’s play, but ask any UT fan, and they’ll say it was just as much due to a couple of key drops by Reche Caldwell.
Tennessee fans will no doubt remember the game against the Gators when Jabar Gaffney caught a phantom touchdown against the Vols to rally to victory in Knoxville (I was at that game, and I cried. I cried because I knew that no one would ever realize how awesome I was, but it looked like I was crying because we lost the game). A couple of the Caldwell drops, if the game had been officiated by SEC officials, they would no doubt have been called touchdowns. Notwithstanding that they weren’t even in the end zone, but you know how it is with those unscrupulous refs.
Peyton, unable to defeat the Gators in four tries whilst in college, was able to come back and earn his redemption in a stage
Bruce Pearl is A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! 2007-01-23 12:45:42 We here at Fulmer’s Belly have never really been that good at math, but from our limited math abilities, we’ve learned of a theory called inequality.  This is when something is (in layman’s terms) “greater than” or “less than” something else. For example: SEC Football is GREATER THAN all other forms of football.
Every once in awhile, there is an occurrence known as the equality. This is when two things are equal in value. Well, we’re not Master’s Degree holders in chemical synthesis or anything (… well, one of us isn’t), but if you ask us, this next equation holds pretty freaking true:
= ?
This pic shows it a bit, but there was a video of the good coach at the game flexing his muscles, and well, those refs that have been telling him to calm down better watch out, because, well, the transformation has begun, and Pearl
… Not… Happy!
Seriously, I would pay an extra $10 for a basketball ticket if I kne Read more:Bruce
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