Owner: SPANK CHEEKS URL:http://spankcheeks.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Mon, 21 Aug 2006 21:37:04 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: All the news that's fit to spank -- celebrity gossip, paparazzi pics, all that's inspired in Hollywood. Mindless crap in one irrefutable, beautiful blog. Come and knock yourselves out. Literally. Site statistics:Click here
EVERYBODY LOVED PETER BOYLE 2006-12-14 13:03:00 Peter Boyle, the actor who played the hilariously grouchy father on "Everybody Loves Raymond" as the final note of a distinguished career that also included a memorable role in Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein," has died. He was 71.Boyle died Tuesday evening at New York Presbyterian Hospital. He had been suffering from multiple myeloma and heart disease, said his publicist, Jennifer Plante.The video below isn't good quality, but shows Peter Boyle at his best.
THE LOST SEINFELD EPISODE 2006-12-14 14:09:00 If you are offended by the n-bomb, Seinfeld, and an amalgamation of Seinfeld episodes, do not click on the video below. If however, you are a Seinfeld fan and have been following recent events, you are going to love this. It is both hysterical and brilliant.Thanks to Stallion for the "hot tip".
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CAMERON DIAZ THINKS HEP-C IS HOT 2006-12-14 13:56:00 Yesterday, we read about how much she loves sex. But like a delicate, lesbian flower, Cameron Diaz opens up even further. Pr-inside reports:'The Holiday' actress - who is romancing singer Justin Timberlake - admits she fell for Pammie as a teenager when she saw the buxom blonde clad in a skin-tight red swimsuit on 'Baywatch'.She told Gay magazine The Advocate: "I had a major girl-crush on Pamela Anderson. Still do - she's hot as ever - but she was my first. When I first discovered her I was like, 'Wow, she's so beautiful!'" Cameron, 34, also confessed her friends would not be surprised if she came out as a lesbian because she is so open about her appreciation of the female form.I think it's more like they wouldn't be surprised if she came out as a lesbian because she's dating Justin Timberlake. And I was going to make fun of her for liking Pam Anderson, but then then I saw a preview of Pam in January's Playboy. And she is smoking hot. And I decided right there and then
ANGELINA FEEDS CRICKETS TO HER SON 2006-12-15 14:27:00 Angelina befuddles and bemuses me with both her beauty and her eccentricity. PR-inside reports:The actress and her lover Brad Pitt decided to treat the five-year-old to a dish of crunchy crickets during a recent trip to Maddox's native Cambodia.She revealed: "I recently took Mad to Cambodia and it was the first trip there where he really understood it."We took him to a restaurant in the middle of the night and he had his first plate of crickets." The insects - which are rich in protein - are a traditional dish in the Southeast Asian country.Okay, I can understand the cultural aspect of it. What I don't understand is the whole " "getting up in the middle of the night to go eat crickets" part. Any time my parents got me up in the middle of the night, we dyed my hair and changed my name because were going on an "adventure". Did you know they call Mexico "God's blind spot?"* It's true. They do.*totally stolen from American Dad
NICK WRECKS JESSICA'S CHRISTMAS, HANNUKAH AND KWANZAA 2006-12-15 13:40:00 Under the guise of Being a respectful and thoughtful man, Nick Lachey allegedly called Jessica himself to let her know he's getting re-married. The National Ledger reports:According to the weekly entertainment magazine Nick poured his heart out to his ex-wife about his new love and a source tells the magazine he confessed he was headed for the altar. "I'm getting married again, Jess and I wanted you to hear it from me," the magazine reports Lachey as telling Jessica during a 40-minute phone call.According to the report he claimed that there is a good chance they will be married by the end of the year.So - why did he call Jessica?His brother Drew believed it would be a good idea, and Nick still cares for Jessica and didn't want to see her hurt, the article claims. The news came a shock to Simpson. "She knew Nick and Jessica were serious, but this threw her for a loop," a friend of Jessica's dished to the magazine."She did her best to contain her emotions."Personally, I'm against Read more:WRECKS
MARTHA STEWART HAS A SEX TOY NAMED THUMPER 2006-12-15 18:22:00 Yesterday, Martha Stewart went mano-a-mano with shock jock, Howard Stern. And it was a good thing. So it's official. Martha Stewart is a badass. Earlier this morning, the Queen of Domesticity was interviewed by King of Shock Jocks Howard Stern on his satellite radio show to commemorate their one-year anniversary at Sirius. For a woman who has her own line of linens and a guy who could own a porn empire, one would have surely expected a conversation between the two to be, um, a recipe for disaster. But Stewart was game. Yes, there were some mildly awkward moments -- no matter what, we do not, I repeat, we do not want to hear about Thumper, Lady Martha's sex toy -- but it's a rare and cool occurrence that a woman of her caliber could roll with Stern's trademark punches without being offended or emotional, and at times, even give him a taste of his own medicine.The best moments came when Stern asked questions that would make most people wriggle, Michael Richards-style, in their se Read more:MARTHA STEWART
, SEX TOY
BRITNEY SPEARS LOOKS LIKE SHIT 2006-12-18 14:18:00 Some things defy my comprehension. Today, it's my Christmas tree that won't stay straight in the stand and Britney spears looking like a bag of smashed assholes. You don't believe me? Click here.
SPANK IT YOURSELF 12.18.06 2006-12-18 19:19:00 Breaking News: 50 Cent to give up golf (junkiness)Every NBA game should be like this (ibbb)Beyonce's father is delusional (yeeeah!)Mel Gibson sticks up for Britney Spears - he's drunk again (seriously? omg!)Here's a little something to replace the vision of Britney and Lohan's twat that has been tattooed on your brain (agent bedhead)Justin Guarini has a new look. But not really because he still looks gay (pop on the pop)
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FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US 2006-12-19 14:11:00 It's about this time of year when you're ready to either kill family members, strangers in traffic or if you are like me, set your tree on fire in the middle of the living room. And it's because of this, that the Seinfeld-inspired holiday of "Festivus" is becoming a real holiday. Even though I'm sure I would just get drunk and never get past the "airing of grievances".Sick of Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa or the holidays in general? Check out the Festivus website.
BRITNEY SPEARS BOOED OUT OF LAKERS GAME 2006-12-19 13:59:00 Like sand through the hourglass, so go the days of her life. TMZ reports:How the tide has turned - now it's Britney who's getting booed and K-Fed, or something like him, eliciting cheers.The exhibitionist pop star was among the fans at last night's Lakers-Wizards game at L.A.'s Staples Center, attending with sister Jamie Lynn and agent Jason Trawick. When Brit's face popped up on the Jumbotron, according to a TMZ spy in attendance, the entire crowd booed loudly, making Britney so mad that she left even before halftime.To add injury to insult, the image of a K-Fed-alike graced the Jumbotron shortly thereafter, and the crowd actually cheered. Fellow celeb-fans Chris Tucker, Ellen Pompeo, Andy Garcia, and, of course, Jack Nicholson, stayed around to watch an overtime thriller, which the Lakers lost.When she was with K-Fed, we could at least make excuses for her. It was good for her and for us. We could just pretend it was all his fault. But now we are faced with the realization th Read more:LAKERS
R.I.P. JOE BARBERA 2006-12-19 13:12:00 Barbera, half of the Hanna-Barbera animation team that produced such beloved cartoon characters as Tom and Jerry, Yogi Bear and the Flintstones, died Monday, a Warner Bros. spokesman said. He was 95. Barbera died of natural causes at his home with his wife Sheila at his side, Warner Bros. spokesman Gary Miereanu said.With his longtime partner, Bill Hanna, Barbera first found success creating the highly successful Tom and Jerry cartoons. The antics of the battling cat and mouse went on to win seven Academy Awards, more than any other series with the same characters."From the Stone Age to the Space Age and from primetime to Saturday mornings, syndication and cable, the characters he created with his late partner, William Hanna, are not only animated superstars, but also a very beloved part of American pop culture. While he will be missed by his family and friends, Joe will live on through his work," Warner Bros. Chairman and CEO Barry Meyer said Monday.
SPANK IT YOURSELF 12.20.05 2006-12-20 15:19:00 Paris Hilton's eye gets it's wonk-on after she's out partying…but look how ladylike she is getting out of the car… (x17)Sienna Miller went on the vodka diet to get ready for her new movie. I already knew about that diet. Ask anyone. I'm the hottest chic in AA. (egotastic)Sharon Stone and Christian Slater. Deal with that mental image. (a socialites's life).Hillary Duff will play a Russian pop star in her next movie. I'm not going to be Russian to go see that. Get it? I'm a fucking riot. (hollywood tuna)Eminem and Kim are divorced again. Shocker, I know (people)I don't get how Coco's ass does that on the cover of smooth (double viking)Brad and Angelina to give up acting for the children. For God's sakes, think of the children (seriously, omg)Things get ugly between a gay reality show winner and a gay blogger (agent bedhead)Santa Claus found in utility closet after botched attempt to abduct 8 year old girl. (junkiness)
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ANGELINA JOLIE HAS SELECTIVE MEMORY 2006-12-21 13:08:00 Angelina Jolie says the worst thing you can do is seduce someone else's husband.The actress - who first met partner Brad Pitt on the set of 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' when he was married to Jennifer Aniston - says she hated her character in her latest movie, 'The Good Shepherd', because she seduces a married man, played by Matt Damon.Angelina - who now has a baby with Brad, Shiloh - is quoted by Britain's Grazia magazine: "She does one of the worst things a woman could do. One scene I actually had trouble shooting because I'm so against that behaviour."She seduces him, and entraps him into having a child. There's not much worse than that, is there? But they're both at fault. They both had sex that night." Just last week, Angelina vehemently denied she and Brad had embarked on a relationship while he was still with Jennifer and insisted they remained "just good friends" until he split from the former 'Friends' star.This reminds me of the time when I was 10 and I told Kevin Sheild
PHA-LA-LA-LA-LLIC 2006-12-22 14:39:00 Now, here is a tree suitable for "pornaments". Check out this phallically shaped coniferous delight:Alan Parkin put the willies up his neighbours - with this naughty 10ft Christmas tree.Not content with adding just a couple of baubles, Alan, 47, decorated the fir with red and white fairy lights outside his home in aptly named Penistone.But his jolly green giant didn't exactly excite fellow residents and they complained to police. Proof, perhaps, that size isn't everything.One said: "It's rather rude. There are children and teenagers about and I don't think it's good for them to see." Another fumed: "It's just obscene. We shouldn't have to put up with it."Although officers who visited his South Yorkshire home merely asked him to remove the lights, the jobless prankster has agreed to go all the way - and give the tree the snip.Married Alan said: "It was just a laugh. If it offended anybody, then the shape will be altered."I was amazed when police called around. They said they
MISS NEVADA NEEDS A BETTER PUBLICIST 2006-12-22 13:28:00 What ever happened to, "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?" I'm so tired of the lies, man. TMZ reports:TMZ has learned that Katie Rees, Miss Nevada USA 2007, has been stripped of her title after racy photos emerged of her kissing other women and exposing herself. Miss Nevada is in red. TMZ has exclusively obtained the entire graphic series.In a statement, Paula M. Shugart, President of the Miss Universe Organization, said "Katie Rees has been relieved of her duties as Miss Nevada USA 2007. First Runner-up Helen Salas will assume the title and compete at the 2007 MISS USA Pageant on March 23 in Los Angeles."In a statement to the TV show "EXTRA," an attorney for Rees, says, was "Katie wants the public to know she was 17 and had a lapse in judgment. This was an isolated incident that occurred more than five years ago when she was a minor."Oh yea? Well, in a statement to the blogsite Spank Cheeks, Zanna said, " Fuck that shit. It was five years ago. For Chrissakes, even bad cre Read more:PUBLICIST
STALLION'S PAPARAZZI PHONE 2006-12-22 18:13:00 What happens when you tell your Italian son that you want Paris Hilton's perfume for Christmas? What happens when your son HATES Paris Hilton and is beside himself because (and I quote): "I don't want to give that bitch my money!!!"What you get is a loyal Spank Cheeks & Angry Ferret poster to go out and make the most of it, that's what. Armed with nothing but his good looks and his camera phone, the following footage was taken. Being that his camera only has 15 seconds of film time, he did the best with what he had.This is our first "paparazzi". There are no celebrities in it but we mention one, so that counts. You may liken it to fingerpainting with feces but it's all we've got.Thanks to Stallion for the footage. If you have any other "suggestions" for Stallion's Papparazzi Phone, leave them after the jump.
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, PAPARAZZI
JAMES BROWN DIES AT 73 2006-12-25 13:37:00 Talk about a Christmas buzz-kill. James Brown died early this morning. He was 73. From Associated Press:ATLANTA - James Brown, the dynamic, pompadoured "Godfather of Soul," whose rasping vocals and revolutionary rhythms made him a founder of rap, funk and disco as well, died early Monday, his agent said. He was 73.Brown was hospitalized with pneumonia at Emory Crawford Long Hospital on Sunday and died around 1:45 a.m. Monday, said his agent, Frank Copsidas of Intrigue Music. Longtime friend Charles Bobbit was by his side, he said.Copsidas said Brown's family was being notified of his death and that the cause was still uncertain. "We really don't know at this point what he died of," he said.Along with Elvis Presley, Bob Dylan and a handful of others, Brown was one of the major musical influences of the past 50 years. At least one generation idolized him, and sometimes openly copied him. His rapid-footed dancing inspired Mick Jagger and Michael Jackson among others. Songs suc
NICOLE KIDMAN CAN'T GET A BREAK 2006-12-26 14:18:00 Reportedly, Keith Urban had been cheating on Nicole even after their engagement was announced publicly. I just saw the pictures of his "mistress" and yea, she has a nice body. The face? Not so much. Splash News reports:Amanda Wyatt, 23, has told how the hunky singer repeatedly cheated on the Oscar winning star in the run-up to their all-star wedding last summer.The blonde lingerie model alleged that while the couple were busy making plans to marry, ex-junkie Urban, 39, would make passionate love to her during secret meetings.She claimed to a Uk newspaper the cheating music idol Urban:* NEVER used protection* BEDDED her in the gym and bedroom of the sprawling Nashville, Tennessee, mansion the star now shares with Kidman.* BOMBARDED her with sleazy text messages begging her to come round for sex sessions while the A-list actress was out of town.* ROMPED completely naked with her in his swimming pool during a wild house party.* DROVE himself to the brink of despair with drug use.Amanda's Read more:NICOLE
STEP RIGHT UP! PLACE YOUR BETS! 2006-12-26 14:07:00 Wherever she starts spending time is usually where the next adoption comes from. Where did Angelina and Brad spend Christmas? Click here.
COURTNEY LOVE STUMBLES DOWN MEMORY LANE 2006-12-26 13:54:00 I'm always suspect when Courtney Love takes us down memory lane. Only because I suspect she doesn't remember shit. Pr-inside reports:Rocker COURTNEY LOVE and NIRVANA frontman KURT COBAIN often spent the festive season on a drugs hunt - but not before they'd showered each other with personal Christmas gifts.The pair used to give self-penned songs and stories as presents, but they still made time to embark on a search for illegal narcotics.She says, "Christmases were really challenging because even the dope dealers take Christmas off."Well, not all the dope dealers. Kurt had this friend called DYLAN and I found Dylan one Christmas hiding in my basement. Dylan had found a dope dealer."But, y'know, we were a family with a new born, so other than dope it wasn't really what you'd call a "celebrity lifestyle'." She adds, "We made a lot of art for each other and wrote songs for each other - more creative kinds of gifts."I know I was feeling creative yesterday. After I found out
HAPPY NEW YEAR, SADDAM! 2006-12-27 15:43:00 Saddam Hussein has a date with death. The Grim Reaper's estimated time of arrival will be within 30 days. Yahoo reports:"The appeal court has approved the death sentence. They (the government) has the right to choose the date starting from tomorrow up to 30 days. After 30 days it will be an obligation to implement the sentence," he said. I don't know why..but as soon as I read this this morning, I started to play that song "Loser" by Beck in my head....I'm a driver I'm a winner things are gonna change I can feel it... Soy un perdedor...I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me..." Click here for musical accompaniment
SHANE MCGOWAN & PETE DOHERTY.....NAKED 2006-12-27 14:59:00 You thought watching Pete Dougherty squirt a syringe full of blood at a camera man was bad? Or shooting up a passed out teenage fan? You ain't seen nothing yet…Hellraising rockers SHANE MacGOWAN and PETE DOHERTY
have posed nude together for a photoshoot.The pair were tempted out of their clothes by celebrity snapper MARIO TESTINO.THE POGUES rocker MacGowan reveals, "I had my photograph taken with Mr Doherty recently. It was by Mario Testino."Nothing particularly unusual, except he asked us to be naked together, which was pretty unexpected. What's more unexpected is that we obliged."Thank you for your patience as I process mental picture. Processing…..processing….at 38%.....processing……75% …processing….100%.Okay…well, let me preface this by telling you my mind's eye does not come with Adobe Photoshop…my mind's eye is reporting a fierce amount of "pasty white", but in all fairness, I am only seeing this in an artistic "black and white"which helps distrac
R.I.P FORMER PRESIDENT GERALD FORD 2006-12-27 14:43:00 Associated Press Reports:The nation's 38th president, and the only one neither elected to the office nor the vice presidency, died at his desert home at 6:45 p.m. Tuesday."His life was filled with love of God, his family and his country," his wife, Betty, said in a statement.Ford was the longest living former president, surpassing Ronald Reagan, who died in June 2004, by more than a month.Ford's office did not release the cause of death, which followed a year of medical problems. He was treated for pneumonia in January and had an angioplasty and pacemaker implant in August.Funeral arrangements were to be announced Wednesday."President Ford was a great man who devoted the best years of his life in serving the United States,"President Bush said in a brief statement to the nation Wednesday morning. "He was a true gentleman who reflected the best in America's character."Ford was an accidental president. A Michigan Republican elected to Congress 13 times before becoming the first appoin
SPANK IT YOURSELF 12.28.06 2006-12-28 14:25:00 Jennifer Anniston wants Angelina to STFU already…c'moonnnnnn catfight! (celebitchy)Live at the Apollo!..um..no..sorry..I mean dead at the Apollo…James Brown…(seriously,omg)Bono is slowly realizing his dream of world dominiation (agent bedhead)Jessica Biel will divert your attention by making you look at her ass…then she will crush you with her brawny arms (yeeeah!)The Harriet Carter video montage…complete with Baaahston accent… (ibbb)Don't H8 John Edwards (don't be a H8ter, yo)Paris Hilton has a new nickname for Britney (mollygood)What's this? You can look sexy with clothes on? Elisha Cuthbert proves it… (pop on the pop)
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PETE AND KATE ARE PRETEND MARRIED 2007-01-02 14:18:00 Its being reported that Pete Doherty and Kate Moss played make-believe over the weekend.The couple jetted out to the paradise island of Phuket to see in the New Year and exchanged vows during an intimate ceremony held at the exclusive Amanpuri Hotel at 1.30pm local time yesterday.The ceremony was conducted by a Thai priest and is not thought to be legally binding in the UK.Kate's friend told the Daily Mirror newspaper: "This was not likely to be a formal wedding because Kate would have wanted all her family and friends there. It is much more likely to be a symbolic gesture to show everyone just how serious they are about each other." Kate, 32, and Pete, 27, had flowers draped over their shoulders for the ceremony and the model's mother, Linda, also flew in for the wedding.The island of "Phuket". How phucking appropriate. You know what I think symbolizes that better? Perjury. Perjury in Superior Court. All I know is once that happens, you know you've got a bond that can't be Read more:PRETEND
JUST TIRED VS. COLLAPSING 2007-01-02 14:00:00 There are two reports out this morning about Britney Spears and whether or not she "collapsed" on New Year's or "fell asleep"I don't know about you but when I'm "just tired" people don't need to "rush" me out covered in some semblance of a tarp. When I "collapse" however, that's exactly what happens and I wake up next to the dumpster completely mistaking the trickling sound of a urine stream to that of "ambient noise".Anyway, here is the article that says she was "just tired" and here is the one that says she passed out from the wafting scent of her own vagina. Okay, I made that up. But it does say she "collapsed".Feel free to be judge, jury and executioner.
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