Memorial Day Weekend
2007-05-29 05:21:00
Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend. We had the Grasso grandparents in town (Nonni and Grandpa) and Kim’s sister, Rachel, and her husband, Cam. Full house, full of fun.
Kim’s nephew, Garrett, was throwing the javelin in the NCAA national championship track and field tournament in Charlotte. Not bad for a freshman, eh? So Rachel, Cam and Kim all drove up to watch him toss the stick. Every time they talk about him throwing I think of Monty Python’s javelin catching skit. I know, I have the mind of a 12 year old.
Unfortunately, Garrett apparently got the jitters and did what freshmen do, freeze up a bit. But wow, to be 18 years old and throwing in the national championship, what a rush that had to have been for him. Next year he’ll be a sophomore, have all of this under his belt, and will, of course, win the whole shebang. Don’t know if it will be in Charlotte again for Aunt Kim to go and watch.
Here at Casa Grasso, we attempted to do what we do best – wear out Nonni
Read more: Memorial
, Weekend
, Memorial Day
Waiting Rooms
2007-05-25 04:26:00
I was trading emails with a friend about his second son - his first is autistic, and making great strides....the second? Well, Dad doesn't think he's autistic, just a bit delayed. His reasoning? Alot of time being dragged into waiting rooms for his older bro's therapies and appts. Sad truth in the lives of the autistic siblings.
It made me think of a conversation I had with Maya once. Typical four year old language, but still - she was telling me about the neat waiting room and all the toys and tvs and kids at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta's hospital...and which ones had nothing for her to do.
Yea, my heart kinda broke when she told me all of this.
Just made me think of the siblings, and what they have to go through. If you've got a couple of kids and one is autistic and the other isn't...give the other an extra big hug, maybe go out for a special ice cream or something.
Sometimes we forget about them...even if it is just for a moment...they get a bit lost in our thinking ab
Read more: Waiting
, Rooms
Graduation Pictures
2007-05-24 10:03:00
Remember my writing about wearing Dad's oxford yesterday? Here's a photo of it...like a graduation gown, I guess (her friend Jesse is to her left)...look how big the collar is!
Once they started walking out, the parents with the cameras and video cameras all popped up...(parent-atzi, as Kim called it)
We were all kneeling, waiting for our little joys to walk down the aisle.....as Maya approached, I got fallen on. What are the chances of that? Apparently better than my six number combination winning the lottery!
Getting a PINK graduation hat (she loves it)
Diploma in hand.....
Told you she loved the pink hat.....
Ms. Stacey (Maya's teacher) gave her an award: The art deco award. Go figure!
Read more: Pictures
A Silly Thing
2007-05-23 10:56:00
We are desperate for rain here in greater Atlanta, however, it hasn’t kept my rose bushes down. As you can see, we are getting some great blooms.
Always nice to have fresh floowers on the kitchen table
One other thing happening in greater Atlanta is graduation from local colleges, high schools…and pre schools.
Yes, I said pre schools.
Tomorrow Maya graduates from pre school and is on her way to Kindergarten...when did this become momentous? Did I not get the memo?
Now, she’s been practicing a song for me from their presentation and there is a cookies and punch ceremony afterward, and she is very excited, and very serious about all of this…and it is relatively harmless. The song is cute as can be…but it is utterly silly to make a production event out of 'all this'.
All the kids are required to wear one of their father’s ‘white button down oxfords’ for the presentation, if they want to go through it. Give me a break (not too mention they’ll swim in these s
Read more: Silly
, Thing
IEP for 1st Grade, Part Deux
2007-05-22 06:10:00
I wanted to take a few days before I wrote about the IEP. I think I’ve learned that writing too soon about these meetings…I’m a bit too emotional and so I write what I’m feeling at that moment, more so than what I think through that comes out a couple of days later.
This allowed the emotions to sequence appropriately:
• Initial disappointment/anger about the meeting
• Discussion about how Kim and I are beginning to see things after a night’s sleep
• Discussion about what we aren’t agreeing on post meeting
• Fight due to stress and worry, but ignited from something trivial – in this case, her grandmother’s pillow cases in a linen closet
• Numbness
• Back to work on Monday, a deep breath and onto another day
To recap: we didn’t finalize the IEP in the initial meeting in April, and reconvened a month later after the school district’s autism specialist had a chance to evaluate the boy and we could further discuss the mathematics portion of his education cu
Read more: Grade
It wasn't all Demetrius this past weekend....
2007-05-21 12:47:00
Maya had an art show on Saturday night (yes, we all crashed after autism walk, art show, swimming, running 6 miles at 4:30am...)
Maya made this beautiful bowl that is now featured prominently on the dining room table....
Clearly we got into the mood to pose...Here is Daddy's Father's Day gift, which will hang on the wall of our bedroom to ensure the least opportunity of breakage in the house (obviously, Mommy and Daddy's room have some 'hands off' stuff in there...)
And we hammed it up with the Groucho Marx glasses and nose we got as a gift from our friend Skye's birthday party...
Oh...and we lost a second tooth. Two in a single week. The tooth fairy is gonna run outta one dollar bills at this pace...
Today's Autism Walk
2007-05-19 13:28:00
This morning I got up at 4am and Buddy and I went for a 5.5 mile run. Usually on Saturdays we get to sleep in until about 5:30am and then get up for running club, but this morning was special.
Kim’s friend Janet showed up at about 7:30 am and we went down to Atlantic Station for the walk. We were all wearing our Team Super D tee shirts. As we got down to the exit from the highway, we couldn’t get off at the exit. Too many cars, mini vans, SUVs idiling to get off for an Autism
Walk. Wasting fossil fuels for a good cause.
We had to drive to my office, about a mile away, and walk – to a walk! Kim, Jerry and the kids will sleep well tonight, I am sure. (However, they have wells of energy I do not. They are on their way to swim at this time, while I lounge and blog.)
I was not prepared when we turned into the area where the walk began for what I saw – thousands of people, all in different ‘teams’ tee-shirts, walking. Since we were a tad late (walk from the office) we had to h
Read more: Today
From a comment/posting from Aimee Rodriguez Dinehart: If you need an advocate
2007-05-19 11:45:00
Written by: Aimee
Rodriguez
-Dinehart Comment text: Jerry,
As always, I'm honored to be able to serve as an advocate. Much of what you state in the blog, as you share your personal experiences as daddy of a young boy with autism, rings close and true to my own heart. It's never easy, yet you are able to reflect on the experience with great candor...and even a sense of humor! I get to peek into your world through these "come to Jesus" conversations of yours!
Thanks for the shout out! Here's my contact information for parents with special needs children in Cobb, Fulton, Paulding, and Gwinnett counties:
dinehartm@bellsouth.net
(770) 365 7278 cell
Yours in advocacy,
-aimee (aka IEP Aimee)
Anxieties and then a hug
2007-05-18 06:02:00
Atlanta just isn't being very southeastern these days - the weather continues to snap back to early spring - March-ish weather (about 55 when we stepped out the door). So with that, Buddy and I had a faster than usual run this morning....not at all due, of course, to the anxieties of an IEP meeting.
We have the agenda, and there doesn't seem to be anything on it that we aren't prepared for, or surprised about - but that doesn't make you less anxious.
So, we run, I make eggs and pancakes for breakfast for the boy, walk him to the bus stop, and walk back. I sit down and start banging out emails on my computer. Maya sits down next me and draws a picture. Just a picture of a little girl (probably her) opening a present. We were talking about my upcoming birthday, so presents were on her mind.
She slid it over to me and smiled. I gave her a big hug.
She's a very aware child. She may not know what is going on, but she is aware I'm nervous.
I'll follow this up with a post-IEP posting
Earphones/Demetrius IEP Take Two
2007-05-17 03:02:00
We have the follow up IEP for Demetrius tomorrow, and after yesterday's posting, I'm completely in the zone on this now.
The question has come up about gym and the cafeteria, the noise level and how he just covers his ears/withdraws within himself during these two periods, so to speak. Kim and I are considering possibly going the earphone route to muffle the noise. He loves being with the other kids - when you ask him if he wants to eat lunch with the other kids or eat somewhere else - he never wavers - he wants to eat with the other kids. He's less enthusiastic about PE in the gym though.
Would earphones help? Possibly, but the stereotyping just becomes more obvious in the mainstream rooms/places if we do this, doesn't it? Some of these types of issues are a 'me' thing (is it best for Super D and/or just some Jerry hang up I have to get over)...but on this one I am really worried that it just seperates him further, literally and figuratively, from the rest of the children...he'
Humor Me, Please
2007-06-01 04:14:00
Humor me folks, funny picture at the end, but I do have to show off the photos of the kids at their swim meet, our very first...On with the show:
There were over 85 races for all classes of kids, and they didn't go 'all little kids first' then 'big kids' etc...they went randomly. Maya swam heat 2, then heat 35! Demetrius was in heat 14. You can see, he was quite bored, while Maya knew she was up pretty quick...and when the boredom set in, the want for pizza or Chick-Fil-A sandwiches at the snack bar set in with the kids....
Maya talking with her coach seconds before her first race in a relay (she did the breast stroke, third swimmer in team of four)
And we are in! Our very first splash for our very first race!
Maya's head bobbed up, she looked around, saw this one girl to her right ahead of her, and her head went down and she plowed ahead. I think it only came up like, 3 times, for air, from the water. And can that girl kick! (Daddy, you have to kick hard! This
Read more: Humor
, Please
A Few Funnies
2007-05-31 04:57:00
Today I turn 38, AND it is our 15 year anniversary. For the want to see my 39th birthday, I will state for the record that of my 38 years on this planet, the last 15 of them have been the best years of my life.
Now, onto the funnies.
This morning Maya sang the Happy Birthday song to me. Afterwards, she asked me, "What kind of cake do you want to buy me to eat for your birthday?"
Demetrius wished me a happy 6th birthday. I mentioned to him that if I were 6 then I would be younger than him, and not able to drive the car. These facts are irrelevant. He then asked me what toys I wanted for my birthday. I didn't bite. This is a leading question, if there ever was one, to get Demetrius toys he likes... for my birthday.
The kids have their first swim meet tonight. I attempted to explain what this meant to Maya. Maya swims with her team in the mornings at one pool, then she swims for fun in the afternoons at our subdivision's pool. For 10-15 minutes each hour, at our subdivison pool, the lif
Read more: Funnies
Peanuts: Charlie Brown Christmas/Outkast: Hey Ya
2007-05-30 13:54:00
If you guys haven't seen this, it is a crack up. Demetrius loves it. He LOVES Charlie
Brown
Christmas
(pretty much has it memorized, owns two copies of the picture book - one is upstairs, one downstairs) and this OutKast song (Hey Ya) is put to scenes of the show.
It is a crack up. Worth a few minutes to watch and smile.
Read more: Peanuts
, Outkast
, Charlie Brown
Swim Team
2007-05-30 05:26:00
I've written before that the kiddos have been testing out being part of a swim team...Maya's a water bug (well, they both are) but she's really taken to it, and she wants to win every heat they practice. There was never a doubt in my mind, for the 4-5-6 year old age bracket, that she'd be on that team...
Demetrius though, well....
Kim did the right thing, she had him 'practice' with the 4-5-6 year olds. He swims a bit, gets out of the pool, swims across the ropes (rather than use them for lane markers....what's the point of that?!?), sings a few songs while in line waiting for his turn..but the coach is understanding, and has 'accepted him' onto the team.
Ain't that great!
Will he be swimming in meets? Initial reaction is probably no, but the more he practices, the more he gets it; and who knows, he might just end up actually swimming a bit, maybe more than a bit, with the kids his age. He too loves the water, he's just one swimmer with a few more ticks. If he gets this down
Ms. Andrea is better than Mommy
2007-06-04 03:39:00
So did everyone have a good weekend? We sure did, low key after a three dayer with Nonni and Grandpa, but there were still some highlights.
On Saturday, Kim and the kids played with some friends, which included the wee ones working on the bike riding techniques. Afterwards, they all headed over for a jump on the tramp, and ultimately, some dinner. While off playing, I trimmed the bushes around the house. Fun stuff.
At one point I was upstairs and saw that Demetrius was out in the driveway at 'Ms. Andrea
's' mini van, pushing the buttons on her key chain. I took off, top speed...so I got there, like, 10 minutes later (hey, long run and I'm not fast!) and Demetrius was just pushing a certain button over and over.
Daddy: What are you doing Demetrius, you don't do that (very loud and direct, I wanted to scare the bejesus out of him). You don't get Ms. Andrea's keys ever!
Demetrius: I want to get into their car
Daddy: Its a mini van, why?
Demetrius: They have movies!
They ha
Read more: better
, Mommy
Daddy and Mr. Joseph
2007-06-07 04:09:00
One of the nice things about summer is that schedules are relaxed. Well, mine isn’t so much, but with the kids being out of school, there’s not the ‘lights out by XXX’ set of rules and getting up/going to bed can slide a bit. Maybe watch an extra episode of SpongeBob, read an extra book, or have your friend Joseph
come over!
A nice change for a Wednesday night, it was so good to have the Carraghers over. We ate some dinner, chatted a bit…and off they went (we won’t see them soon, everyone starts their vacation schedules with only a bit of crossover the next few weeks) to prepare to go to the beach next week.
Now I typically don’t talk a lot about non-family members on the blog, but in the scope of this story, its appropriate, and I don’t think ‘Big Joseph’ (Joseph senior and Joseph Jr. go by, ‘big’ and ‘little’ Joseph on the blog) will mind this reference.
Big Joseph is an all-American guy. Likes baseball, is a lawyer with a big company, big smile and a g
Read more: Daddy
Autism: The Musical?
2007-06-07 03:01:00
I saw this on my news reader and had to read it. I suspect, before it is released, they'll change the name or modify it some how, some way....it is a bit confusing if they keep it as is
Read more: Autism
, Musical
Amazing
2007-06-06 05:04:00
Mermaid Man, SpongeBob and Barnacle Boy....and Demetrius' favorite episodes
When Demetrius was born, his Grandpa started to refer to him as ‘amazing’. Grandpa’s co-workers would ask him, “How’s amazing?” when Grandpa and Nonni would make trips to see him (yes, notice I didn’t say ‘us’…as soon as the boy and granddaughter appeared on the scene, I became the chauffer and someone to pay attention to when grandkids were down for naps…look, it is what it is…important to know your role in life. ☺).
But all kidding aside, the kid is utterly amazing.
We spend a lot of time reading, writing/blogging, listening to the things they (autistics) can’t do. I think yesterday’s The New York Times piece (posted about it yesterday, scroll down to hyperlink to the piece) proves differently (and we’ve all seen the enormous media coverage that different savants get). Demetrius amazes us on a daily basis (as all kids should amaze their parents) but some days it is just, we
Read more: Amazing
Another Story on Autistic Runners
2007-06-05 09:45:00
In the NY Times.....
I can barely keep up with Demetrius now. He'd definitely need his own guide....
Read more: Autistic
, Runners
Story Sound Familiar?
2007-06-05 09:36:00
Autism on the rise in Australia...according to this piece....and horrible therapy options? Surprise, Surprise....
Though, I think, Mcewen needs to move to Australia so her boys can get therapy at the Lizard Autistic Centre.
Read more: Sound
Talking to Jessie On The Phone.....
2007-06-05 06:45:00
Last night, ‘Jessie
’s mommy’ called to talk to ‘Maya’s mommy’. Maya’s mommy was out, and I took a message, and asked Maya if she would like to talk to Jessie. I handed the phone to Maya. I only heard one side of the conversation, but it went something like:
Maya: Hi Jessie. Do you miss me?
Maya: I miss my friends from school. Do you want to come over and play? (Play date scheduled for Thursday morning)
Maya: I miss you and Emily. Emily is still at her Grandma’s in Germany.
Maya: Jessie, I have to go, SpongeBob is on. I miss you.
Talking
to Jessie while watching SpongeBob last night.....
So sweet.
But just think, that conversation will be 1.5 hours long on the phone in about ten years.
Emily, I'm Sorry!
2007-06-08 06:12:00
Man, did I pull a boner this week.
As all of you know, Maya’s best-est friend in the world is Emily
Sellers. When we talk about Emily, our voice changes, we get more animated, we are a happier little girl in all ways and forms.
And as all of you know, Emily is in Germany right now visiting her grandma, and we won’t see her until mid-July. Do any of you know what that is in five-year-old impatient years? Like, 9 months, at least.
So I got the idea in my head that we could send Emily mail. Pictures Maya drew of her to show how much we are missing her. Emily’s mommy sent us the address in Germany. Good to go.
Now, Maya and I talked about doing this. She told me she drew some pictures one night. Did I get the pictures from her then? Of course not….so the next morning I’m gathering my stuff early to head off to the gym, and I remember. So I look on Maya’s craft table…there’s a picture. A cute one of Maya and Emily, drawn in crayon, etc…holding hands with their names un
What Didn't Work?
2007-06-13 04:22:00
This question seems a heck of a whole lot harder to answer than what has worked, from my perspective. I could say that an aspect of what I wrote about yesterday is relevant here – that we may have had him in too much mainstream classroom activity and he’s slipped a bit in regards to his academic progress, but it seems too early for me to judge if this was a ‘mistake’ or an adjustment (my gut tells me it is an adjustment).
I guess one thing that makes answering this question tough is the fact that Demetrius is high functioning. While certain things are harder for him to pick up, he eventually picks them up…albeit it slowly and painfully at times. But he gets there. So we’ve not really tried anything that didn’t work. And Kim and I have worked really hard to be as objective as possible – when things are not clicking, we try to adjust. Sometimes I think the adjustments may be harder on us than on him.
Something that stands out clearer to me than others is our fir
Sweet Story About Soccer In Maryland
2007-06-13 03:27:00
I'm all about the running now in my life, and I think it would be good for Demetrius, and after a couple of ankle reconstructions, soccer is not a part of my future...but I love it. Here's a great piece on an adapted sports program for soccer in Maryland
.
Read more: Sweet
, Soccer
What Seems To Be Working...
2007-06-12 15:14:00
What worked?
I met with a Dad this past weekend who also has an autistic son and he asked me the proverbial question, “what worked for you guys?”
So I thought this might make a couple of good postings – what worked, and what hasn’t.
Now, let preface this with the fact that this could be two weeks worth of postings and discussions and comments and the like (in fact, Kim might not even agree with me!)...but I can start with a few.
I think one thing definitely, and you all tip your cap to Kim Grasso on this one…is mainstreaming him in every which way possible, while at the same time getting him the services he needs, has improved his social skills in ways that simply going to therapists could not.
You guys have seen me post on numerous occasions that the kid is overbooked. Fortunately, or unfortunately, this was/is by design. Early on, after he was diagnosed, Kim had him in both in a special needs pre-school program through our school district and in a mainstream pr
Thimerosal Goes To Court
2007-06-11 07:19:00
Here We Go.....
Read more: Court
I'm Too Old To Be This Active
2007-06-11 06:28:00
Sometimes I need to come back to work on Mondays just to rest. Being at home tests the limits of my physical, and often mental, endurance.
Beginning at about 6pm on Friday night our weekend got interesting: we were having Emily’s Dad over for dinner on Saturday, and then…well, somehow, we got from one guest to sixteen of 'um.
Thank goodness for hotdogs, hamburgers, kabobs and French fries. We had ourselves an old fashioned cookout.
At 4am I got up on Saturday (I had a race that morning at 7:15am) and heard…the vacuum? Kim wasn’t in bed (often falls asleep with one of the kids, so this isn’t that uncommon) – she was up cleaning (imagine what is going thru her head when she realized we were having 16 in the house in less than 24 hours…). After I got ready, I came downstairs.
Jerry: Did you just get up?
Kim: No, actually I’m just finishing up.
Jerry: When did you start?
Kim: About 1:30 am. I’m going to bed.
I took Buddy for a walk, putzed around a b
Read more: Active
Sometimes You Don't Need Words
2007-06-15 08:54:00
Of course, as I post this, they are upstairs fighting over computer games.....
Read more: Sometimes
, Words
Move Over CVS....Autistic Families Like Walgreens!
2007-06-14 11:33:00
Read this story about what Walgreens
is doing on behalf of integrating disabled folks into their warehouse ops in Carolina...
Read more: Autistic
, Families
Fantastic Four Negotiations
2007-06-14 08:54:00
Last night Kim had some friends over, so the kids and me skiddadled and went to the movies to see Surfs Up. I actually found it humorous – a bit better than Shrek 3, if you ask me.
They had a life sized Silver Surfer in the lobby (see picture) to hype the Fantastic
Four movie that starts on Friday. Demetrius wants one for his room. That, I would have to admit, would be way cool. Maya liked the Simpson family across the theater’s lobby. I doubt she has any idea about the Simpsons – but it was cute to see her sitting in front of Bart and Maggie, none-the-less.
Movies now have Disney like figures next to the concession stand. It certainly excites the wee-ones. When they have a life sized Brad Pitt, I'll bring that one home for Kim, like I'll do with the Silver Surfer for Demetrius....
When I told Demetrius we had tickets to go see the Fantastic Four
movie on Friday night, he looked at me and said, “Fishpaste!” (Ahhhh, SpongeBob).
Daddy: What’s wrong Demetrius?
Demetrius:
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