On Our Way To Kindergarten and First Grade....
2007-08-13 02:59:00
Maya attempting to put on her backpack to walk to the bus stop.....
Not a problem for her brother, he's done it before....
Skye, 2nd Grade
r....telling Maya and Kennedy, Kindergartners, that you can't wear spaghetti straps to school.....she's a second grader, she's in the know
Someone is excited to get back to school. That smile was on his face all morning, even when he was fiddle farting around and not eating his breakfast...
Here comes the bus, Maya and Demetrius excited in line, Mommy giving and getting kisses and beginning to cry...
Read more: First
, Kindergarten
My Daughter Loves Me
2007-08-20 08:34:00
This weekend on my long Saturday run, I tweaked my ankle. Now, as my good friend Alan says, I have glass ankles. An acorn in the wrong spot and I go flying on these bad shock absorbers (and anyone who is a long time reader of this blog knows that I'm good for one of these at least once a year). So while I hobbled around and pretty much did what I needed this weekend...I had a five-year-old helper.
Ms. Maya loves to play Mommy. I think it is a bit of her bossiness mixed with being a sibling of special needs kid. She likes to help out, and is rewarded for it on multiple levels, in multiple ways. Further, on Friday night, she and I went to Eastside Pizza to order a pizza for dinner, and while we waited we drank an orange soda, ate some breadsticks and played video games. So we started off the weekend being really, really tight with each other.
So when she saw on Saturday that I was hobbling and in a bit of pain, she of course was concerned.
Maya: What's wrong Daddy?
Dadd
Read more: Daughter
This nails it
2007-08-17 05:18:00
I've been blogging...banging out on the keyboard....wasting time (maybe, depends on the day/time)....talking about my son, autism and how it affects our lives (though, by far, everyone's favorite posting of all time seems to be my Jerry/Viggo comparison...go figure). However, I really, really stopped in my tracks this morning when Kim sent me this Web page from Autism Speaks' Web site.
I think this Dad caught almost the whole-kit-and-kaboodle on one page. Really good stuff.
Bet he's never been mistaken for Brad Pitt by a drunken woman on the street though!
Read more: nails
Hmmmmmmmm
2007-08-22 13:48:00
Last night I got home late from work, just in time for bed time. As I came in from the garage (garage connects to pantry/powder room area, which connects to kitchen), Demetrius is standing in the kitchen.
Buck Naked.
Playing with himself, staring at the counter.
Daddy: Hi Demetrius, what are you doing?
Demetrius (hand on his merchandise): Oh, hi Daddy. How was your day at the office.
Daddy: Good. Where's Mommy (always a safe and smart question to ask in moments like these).
Demetrius: Upstairs with Maya.
Daddy: Where are your pjs?
Demetrius: I haven't put them on. Oh, I better go upstairs. Okay, nice seeing you. Good bye. Come see me in bed.
Two things here -
#1 - I caught him just before he was going to do something. What it was, I do not know. But it couldn't have been good. My presence, well, stymied the goal until he is next alone....and naked.
#2 - When I was a younger man, do you know how many times I wished Kim would have been in the same situation to greet me a
Lucky Dog
2007-08-21 09:42:00
I've mentioned before that I'm often jealous of Kim because she gets to do things with the kids that I don't. Great example:
This morning she shows up at the kids school to have lunch with Maya. Maya doesn't know, surprises her. Big hugs, big smiles hand holding of Mommy to show her in line where you get your tray, where the milk is, etc..both have burgers for lunch.
Kim sits down with Maya at the table...Maya proceeds to talk to her new girlfriends all through lunch about the day. Mommy, well, Mommy's just there...sitting next to Jack. Another little boy in the neighborhood who says to Kim: "Don't you know my Mommy from the pool?" Kim: "Yes Jack, I'm Maya's mommy." Jack: "Okay."
Kim listened to the little girls, obviously - it was all very serious about the morning activities. In the interim, Demetrius' class walks in for lunch. Kim waves to Demetrius. He looks over her way, sees his Mommy, smiles and then covers his ears....too much to process with all the n
Headphones and Hibachi
2007-08-27 02:58:00
This weekend we decided we were going to test Demetrius' headphones out to see if they made a difference. To do so meant we would need to go somewhere for dinner (out) really loud - we wanted to try the Cheesecake Factory (not many places with more white noise than there) but of course, even at 5pm, there was a 247 hour wait. So instead we went to Benihana. Alot of noise right there at the table.
All the banging of knives and salt and pepper shakers, etc...and the yahooing started to drive Demetrius batty - perfect. Kim whipped out the headphones: bingo. Different child. Of course, he found Charlie Brown Christmas on the playlist, and started to stim. So we'll take that off and he should be good to go. Kim will be sending the headset into school so the teachers can help instruct him on when he can use it, and can't. More to come on this. We got him a Buslink 'Musica' 256 MB MP3 player. It is the right size and holds the perfect amount of music for what we need, and for $27, if he
Read more: Headphones
Becoming Part of the Lexicon
2007-08-24 04:07:00
Sorry I didn't post yesterday guys, I had a very busy day at work and it simply fell off the plate. I promise to make up with a post this weekend.
As most of you know, I'm a technology worker, so one of the magazines I read is Wired. Love it! I was perusing through the latest issue and saw this statement:
What we need are more Bill Gateses — people with Aspergian focus, with a direct sensual ability to understand what a million means. They've got to be able to envision every angel on the head of a pin. Because when it comes to stopping the mass tragedies of today's world, we're going to need every one of them.
I was a bit surprised to see that a spectrum disorder was being used as a positive descriptor. Well, frankly, I was just surprised to see it used in this way at all (though this blog posting would be utterly different if it were used in a negative way)!
Clearly, this is a sign of the autistic spectrum mainstreaming. I'm not a philosopher by any means, but to me, this show
Read more: Becoming
Monsters!
2007-08-30 10:15:00
Wednesday nights are turning out to be a bit tricky. The kids don't get home from choir practice until about 7:30-ish and they have energy to burn...but they gotta get right to gettin' ready for bed.
That goes over real well, let me tell you.
So with all the fussing and moaning going on as they are being ushered to the stairs to go up to their rooms (I always think of a club closing at this time...lights going out on the dance floor and at the bar, ah college days.....) Kim says:
YOU GUYS GET UPSTAIRS AND QUIT COMPLAINING NOW! IF YOU DON'T GET TO BED SOON, YOU'LL BE MONSTERS TOMORROW!
Now, I'm more than few steps behind them, and all of you with autistic kids know what happens next....
Demetrius: Monster! I don't want to be a monster! What kind of monster!?! I want to be me!
Of course he took it literal.
He calmed down, and I promised to read him a comic book. This made him happy. He ratcheted down, and then...the thumb went in his mouth. Crisis averted, or so I thought....
Deme
Talent and Smarts
2007-08-29 14:35:00
Look at this project of Maya's from school. Superstar!
My cat is fat. Of course, we don't own a cat, but this fact is beside the point ....
Read more: Talent
, Smarts
Get Out Of My Spot!
2007-08-29 04:24:00
2:17 am this morning.
Demetrius: Daddy?
Daddy: Groaaaannnnn, ughhhhh, Hey Demetrius, what's wrong?
Demetrius: Do you need to go to the office?
Daddy: Not yet D, it is middle of the night - lets go pee-pee and go back to bed.
I put Demetrius back to bed.
2:21 am
Demetrius: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes, Demetrius?
Demetrius: Can I get into bed WITH MOMMY.
Daddy: Of course....and he gets between me and Kim.
Demetrius nods off....I get up at 4am, get ready to go to the gym...
Demetrius is in my spot before it got cold.
Kim and I both agree, Demetrius was just initially being nice - he wanted to sleep in our bed, and he wanted me out for more space.
I see a couch and a pillow in my future.
Autisic kids ... whatever, he knows where the good ZZZs can be found. He also knows how to play it to get what he wants!
Arizona State Offering Degree In Autism Education Specialization
2007-08-28 05:10:00
Totally cool - I guess I'll have to start pulling for the Sun Devils this college football season. Click here to read the news release.
Read more: Arizona
, State
, Autism
, Education
, Arizona State
Just some good ol' advice for working dads
2007-09-21 03:18:00
I've gotten many an email and had many a conversation w/dads about how we'll have to 'do more' so our kids can have the right therapies, etc...good for us! Still, the most important thing isn't the dollars, it's the time we spend. Good, practical piece on www.cnn.com this morning. Click here to read it.
Read more: working
Buddy Sells Me Out
2007-09-20 06:15:00
I love running with Buddy
. He's a great partner, and no matter how much my 'glass ankles' hurt when I run, or if I'm having a harder one than usual, or whatever else the malady-of-the-moment is...he's to my left, kinda smiling in that Golden Retriever way...and if I look at him, he always starts to wag his tail when we run.
I know he's a dog and likes to just be outside, so when he sees a squirrel or a rabbit, his ears go up and he kinda starts to run in a prancing way, I even..in my most laborious way...attempt to speed up for him, so he gets a bit of fast gallop out of it. And I always think of him when I start running a race...that if he did better in the crowd, he'd run with me. I know he's with me in spirit.
All that said about the damn dog....
So usually, at 4:30-5am-ish, we are the only ones out on the road...well, minus the rabbits and squirrels and newpaper delivery guys out to kill me....but during the fall, the high school cross country teams are sometimes out.
The
The Power Of The Press
2007-09-20 05:01:00
Talk to your local media about how you are getting screwed around with not getting your autistc kid proper education and whammo! Looky, looky...congrats to the New York Daily News helping to get this family's story told and thus pushing for the 'right' outcome...
City officials find school for 'lost' autistic boy
BY ERIN EINHORN
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Thursday, September 20th 2007, 4:00 AM
It took just hours yesterday for Shaquan Vaughn's luck to change.
The parents of 7-year-old Shaquan spent four years pleading with the city to find a school for their autistic son. While staying at home without an education, he never learned to speak.
Then the Daily News told his story yesterday, and by 11:30 a.m., city officials had faxed his file to the Association for Metroarea Autistic Children, a Manhattan private school that specializes in treating children with the neurological disorder.
By 4 p.m., Shaquan's father was making plans for the Bronx family to visit the school
Read more: Press
Going To Bed
2007-09-19 04:04:00
Periodically, Kim gets a 'get out of the house' card and plays it. Last night was one of those nights. Demetrius has decided that on nights Kim is gone, he is not going to sleep in his bed - rather, ours.
I tried to get him to go down in his room, and while I worked in bed for awhile, I hear him get up and come down the hall. He literally marches into our bedroom, and takes a picture of Kim and me off of the cabinet. He starts going back to his room with it.
Daddy: Where are you going with the wedding picture of Daddy and Mommy?
Demetrius: I'm lonely. I am going to sleep with this picture of Mommy because I miss her. I love her so much and miss her so much.
Daddy: Demetrius, leave the pictue in our room. Go get your stuff. You can sleep in our bed.
How can I say no to him after that drama? Good stuff from my little autistic actor....
Read more: Going
The Mayo Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee
2007-09-18 10:31:00
My boss passed this onto me last night...thought it would fit with the blog. Enjoy.
-------
The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a una
First Soccer Practice
2007-09-18 04:04:00
Demetrius had his first soccer practice last night. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get there in time. But when I got home, Kim went to go get Maya at her friend Morgan’s house, and the boy was watching SpongeBob.
Daddy: Demetrius, how did soccer practice go?
Demetrius: Good. (no inflection, a trained answer to give parents if there ever was one by a seven-year-old while watching TV)
However when he turned and looked at me, I knew we had issues – he was chewing his shirt and it was completely soaked. He had chewed almost all of it from collar to bottom.
I got his dinner ready, he ate, wasn’t really willing to try to talk…moaned about me turning the TV off…ate and went down into the basement. I followed a few minutes later to get Buddy some dog food. He was sitting on the floor playing trains. Something he’s done since he’s been about one-year-old…playing with Thomas the Tank Engine. Its safe. Its relaxing.
I didn’t need words. Chewed shirts and Thomas told me a
Read more: First
, Soccer
, Practice
What A Weekend
2007-09-17 04:13:00
The weather has definitely turned - what a run we had on Saturday morning. 65 degrees and 8 miles later I still felt like I could go another few miles... but I knew we had a big day, so I didn't want to push it.
I got home, and Maya scurries up to me - can we go get my cleats now? And we did: Black and Pink.
We played soccer out front last night. We also decided we run faster in our cleats (of course!) and ran as fast as we could in the backyard. I told Maya it was like a pink flash of light ran by.....we put our ball and cleats in a special bag (pink bag, of course) and hung it in the garage.
Demetrius got grey and red cleats, and he has his first practice today. We'll see.
After we got the cleats, it was off to Costco...and Maya and Demetrius chowed on pizza, hot dogs and Cheetos:
The hot dog and pizza are each bigger than either child. Which is good, because it means I get to finish what they don't...
Yesterday we played more soccer, went to a birthday party...and went to get
Read more: Weekend
Body Blows And Getting Up Off The Mat
2007-09-28 08:49:00
Rough week.
I’ve mentioned before that Kim sees and hears so much more than I ever will in regards to Demetrius and other kids. I’m somewhat in a cone of silence, comparatively. But after a soccer game, a soccer practice, and Cub Scout den meeting…..I’m a bit roughed up.
Feels kinda like you’ve gone from the JV to the Varsity. You know the step up is big, but you aren’t sure by how much until you are in the thick of it.
So I have been told directly, listened to boys say to my son, or overheard them say:
• Tell him not be so stupid and weird during the game like he was at practice.
• Demetrius doesn’t try to play, because he is stupid
• What is wrong with him, is he retarded or something
• At school he can’t play by himself, he doesn’t know how. That is weird
• My dog runs off like he does. But our springer is a dog.
• Why does he make noises? Is it because he is different?
• He’s not very good. He shouldn’t play soccer if he doesn’t want to kic
Chipmunk Poop
2007-09-27 15:56:00
Alvin's still got it, 30+ years later....
Mommy is downstairs having a spa party. One of the rewards for this is getting to watch a movie trailer or two on Daddy's computer up in our bedroom on 'the big' bed.
We watched the preview for the upcoming Alvin and The Chipmunk
s movie. At the end of it, Alvin eats a raisin, spits it out, and chews out Theodore. A little adult humor here that Maya needs explained to her.
Maya: Why is he yelling at his friend about the raisin?
Daddy: Maya, its not a raisin, it is a chipmunk poop on the couch.
Maya: He put it in his mouth so his friend wouldn't get in trouble?
Daddy: Yes.
Wait for it.....wait for it......
There!
She laughed so hard that she was complaining about her tummy hurting. I have never seen anyone laugh that hard in my life. We watched it three times. Each time she laughed harder. By the time she got her composure back after the third one, she was in a little kid sweat fit.
As she went to bed she was saying to herself, "Chipmunk p
Unlinking Thimersol and Autism
2007-09-27 04:57:00
Apparently this door seems to be shut linking the two together, as reported in this story. However, the way the FDA pulled it from shelves, I guess, fuel the speculation and lawsuits.....
Read more: Autism
Soccer? To Play Or Not To Play....
2007-09-26 02:58:00
Another subject of discussion for us yesterday with Dr. Amy was Demetrius playing soccer.
He says he likes it. With Demetrius being Demetrius, he isn’t giving us much to work with when we ask him the question: Do you like playing soccer?
His answer is yes, and it is a bit animated (in a kinda positive way). So from this we are assuming that he is in fact enjoying being out on the field with the other boys.
However, other behaviors are telling us something very different. After both his game last week and practice on Monday, he had complete meltdowns. Unable to regulate himself or calm down or handle the slightest issue (like how we choose to directionally drive home). Kim, having the magic powers of Mommy, was able to calm him down while we switched on the TV to watch some Avatar, but he was still really worked up and agitated physically/twitchy until about bed time.
Further, the boys are making fun of him, and he recognizes it. (He licked a ball laying on the ground, oral stimul
Read more: Soccer
Annoying Can Be Autistic
2007-09-25 15:17:00
Really ain't a picture that can show what OCD is, but this is as a good a one as I've ever seen....
This morning I got back from my run with Buddy, and Demetrius and Maya were at the table at breakfast. Maya eating her cereal, Demetrius his toast and jam. Demetrius was bright eyed and bushy tailed, Maya – not so much.
Demetrius: Daddy, Nonni and Grandpa are coming to the house in three weeks and will take us to a hotel and we will swim and watch movies and eat pizza at Chuck E. Cheese. I found the DVD player (travel sized one) and want to watch Pooh Bear’s Christmas.
He is completely obsessed with this and I’m just not in the mood to hear it over and over again, which is, of course, what he did.
So there I was, irritated with this, ‘OCD-ing’ and finally got him to stop talking about it….under threat of his life. He got on the bus and Kim and I got ready for his special needs pediatrician appointment. We went over our game plan of what we wanted to talk
Read more: Annoying
, Autistic
What A Saturday
2007-09-24 06:00:00
Super D had his first soccer game, an 8am-er! Here he is in his uniform, as Dad goes into Starbucks to get a green tea:
Unfortunately, I don't have any photos of him playing, as I was on the field with him 'helping out'. He was a bit 'bewildered' in his first game what was exactly going on, but we are quite hopeful that it gets better with practice.
Needless to say, after going to our brother's game, Maya was juiced to get going to her's, which wasn't until 2:15pm (this may have been the longest day of Maya's life waiting for this game to start..). However, that didn't stop her from putting on her uniform as soon as possible:
Here are some picture's from the pink bombshell's game:
I would have always assumed, with Maya's personality, that she would be a striker. But instead she is intent on keeping you from scoring on her goal. She's a defender all the way. She is also really 'kind of' interested in kicking the ball....she's more intent on blocking the ball (letting
Read more: Saturday
Weird Autism Story Of The Day
2007-10-03 04:39:00
I had to laugh. Comments should be good on this one as they day goes on.....
Read more: Weird
, Autism
The Hotel Trip
2007-10-02 03:37:00
I wrote a bit ago that Grandpa and Nonni are coming in two weeks to visit, and on the Saturday night they are taking Demetrius and Maya to a hotel....they'll watch movies, eat pizza and go to Target. Grandpa called the kids yesterday and they talked about the agenda. In fact, there is even a movie theatre down the street (hotel is by the big mall in Alpharetta) so they'll have plenty to do. Big month for the kiddos, a week or so after this trip Kim's mom comes out for a few days.
When they go to the hotel, I think Kim and I will sleep.
Demetrius is stoked. He wants to pack, right now!, but we've managed to show him that it is a few weeks away on the calendar. Further, orders have been given by Mommy that we can only bring a set number of toys, movies and books on this overnighter. Grandpa's got a bad back. He can't carry everything that Demetrius would like to bring (aka - nest with - at the Embassy Suites).
Last night as he was getting ready for bed he was telling me how much he
Read more: Hotel
The Walk
2007-10-01 04:08:00
The soccer game was better this week. We had a full team and Demetrius could play is small five minute segments during the game. The ball came right to him one time. It was rolling at a slow enough pace...but he just got out of its way and a boy from the opposing team ran up to it, kicked it hard and caught up to it in front of the goal. He scored. I just closed my eyes. Even though this is just a church league, the other little boys are playing as hard as they can and are just confused and frustrated when he does (actually, doesn't) this. It takes a lot for a six-year-old to try to understand that it isn't that he's not trying, its that he 'doesn't get it' and just being out there is a big deal for him. I know it is probably being overly self conscious, but I swear I felt eyeballs on Demetrius and me out there on the field when this happened. However, the Sharks (D's team) pulled up their bootstraps and scored again for a 2-2 tie.
Kim's the team mom, which makes all of this ea
Fun Filled Weekend
2007-10-15 05:13:00
I’ll be posting some photos from the weekend when Nonni sends them to me: she was the official photographer for the weekend.
The kids had an absolute blast going to the hotel and spending the night with Nonni and Grandpa: pizza, Sprite!, snacks, movies, swimming, waffles and fruit for breakfast…SpongeBob and more swimming. I mean, Mommy and Daddy might have gotten a break for an evening, but come on, there is no way we could have had nearly the time that the wee-ones had.
Kim really enjoyed South City Kitchen. There isn’t much in the ATL that I truly ‘love’, we live in the ‘OTP’ ‘burbs and everything is like every other burb in the greater metroplex, but South City Kitchen is one of those special places that you eat or frequent and really drives home what the city/region/etc…is about. So this made me happy. If you ever are in town for biz, even for one night, this is one of the restaurants you should frequent. You’ll be pleased. There isn’t anything
Read more: Weekend
Sorry, No Posting Today
2007-10-12 16:11:00
Had a big day at work today (also had to pick Grandpa and Nonni up as they flew in for the weekend). Just getting to the blog
for the first time. I'm sure I'll have pictures and stories from the weekend. So, while I usually don't post on the weekend, I might make an exception this time.
Ya'll have a good one.
Read more: Posting
, Today
What's The Boy's 'X Factor'?
2007-10-11 03:29:00
What’s your motivator? What’s the ‘X Factor’ for you? Is it someone saying you can’t do something? (This is used to be high on the list for me, the older I get, the less this one seems to matter. Who cares if you think I can't do something....) Is it fear-based? Did you see something as a child you wanted, or didn’t want, that wiggles and jiggles in the back of your gray matter to keep you going?
For most American adults, it is why we go to the gym – that last piece of cheesecake or handful of M&Ms, you just know, ends up somewhere you don’t want it to, so you press a bit harder on the treadmill or get that extra set of reps in on the weights (this works more for some than others).
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about Demetrius’ ‘X Factor’ lately. What motivates, and demotivates this kid. It’s a slippery slope with a special needs child, because their ability to regulate themselves is off kilter, and dependent some days on how the wind blows, motivationa
|
Recommend Site To A Friend
