Owner: The Swiss Job URL:http://theswissjob.wordpress.com Join Date: Wed, 23 May 2007 03:33:17 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: The Swiss Job details an Irishmans futile attempts to settle into Swiss life. Having moved to Basel for a new job, the blog compares the Irish to the Swiss and everything in between. Site statistics:Click here
Expanding horizons 2007-06-24 02:00:11 Next weekend we’re heading back to Ireland for a friends wedding and a trip up home. I’ve mentioned the airport here in Basel before and the options we have for flying all round Europe. For a small airport the choices are great but there is an obvious omission. Ireland. The land of forty shades of green, where leprauchauns skip merrily through the fields and drink Guinness with the local farmers in the pub. Otherwise known as home for this blogger. You can’t fly direct from Basel to Ireland. You have to go south to Zurich or north to Karlsruhe. Or else you can take your chances with a quick stop over in Heathrow.
But things are on the up (only a small pun intended!). Ryanair, the most anally retentive of all budget airlines (supposedly they were the inspiration for the Westlife song “Flying without wings”), has just announced a new route from Basel. The problem is, it’s a route to Stockholm, but still its a start! It was announced with Michael O&rsqu
Saturday morning blues… 2007-06-23 02:52:27 A few weeks ago I woke thinking about two friends from college.
No funny ideas please, let me explain. The two friends in question were polar opposites. One, lets name him Ken, was the outgoing, energetic, fit as a fiddle livewire. He needed no excuse to climb scaffolding on the way home from a pub or go for a run to shake off the hangover the next morning. The other, for arguments sake, Martin, was of a more sedintary disposition. He loved anything that came in a pint glass, was relaxed in all situations and brought a sense of calm to all occasions.
One evening, Ken decided to go ice skating for the first time with a friend of ours. Afterwards they came back to the flat I was renting with Martin. We had pizza and a few beers (to cancel out the exercise) and were sitting watching TV when Ken burst out of the couch grabbing his calf muscle and screaming in pain. He assumed the foetal position on the floor and started rocking back and forth begging for help.
Martin had doubled over laugh Read more:Saturday
, hellip
Only two days to go… 2007-06-22 06:12:10
Somewhere en route to earth&hellip
;
…Captains Log, Stardate 433.543…ah who gives a toss?
Day 548 of this little trip we’ve taken to Mars and to be honest I couldn’t give a flying rats rear end. So we’ve gone to Mars. Big woooppdedoo. I was the first man to set foot on the red planet and to do the macarena on Mars and to fart on Mars blah blah blah. It was red, rocky and full of nothing. I could have told them that from my armchair at home. What was the point?
Splashdown is on Saturday afternoon somewhere in the Indian ocean as long as this tin can holds together. From what “Mission Control” has told me, the bunch of feckless idiots, I’m going to be picked up by a boat and lifted out of this sardine tin in some fancy stannah stairlift because I can’t walk, thats what 500 days in space will do to you. Sure I was meant to exercise and monitor my bone density, or some rubbish like that, but what are they going to do? Come out to Mar
Want to get away from it all? 2007-06-21 03:53:30 Then I have the perfect opportunity for you.
Do you crave peace and quiet, a chance to get away from the humdrum?
Do you want to meet like minded people and be able to exchange ideas?
Do you have a desire to explore, to push forward the boundaries?
Do you want to go to Russia?
Because this is exactly what is being offered by the European Space Agency (ESA). The ESA want to go to Mars. And before they strap a few “Euronauts” into a big rocket and fire them in the direction of the red planet they have to see if they’ll get there in one piece without killing each other first. To do this they are enlisting the help of their Russian colleagues who happen to have an isolation chamber the size of nine truck containers. Into this they’re planning to seal away twelve victims volunteers for the minimum time it would take to get to Mars, wander about a bit and come back. That’s 550 days!
The volunteers will have to deal with simulated emergencies, no contact with t
I’m offski… 2007-06-27 03:18:19 I’m off to the home turf for a few days and I have to say I’m excited. I also got the first of my birthday presents this morning which has got me in a great mood. Now for a few days of meeting friends and family!
Wish me luck on the wedding dance floor. And no, I won’t be “You Tubing” it! Have a great week/weekend and I’ll be back next Monday.
Read more:hellip
Elbow warming… 2007-06-26 03:20:36 So we’re off to Ireland tomorrow for many reasons. First, I haven’t been home in ages and so the withdrawal symptoms are starting to kick in. Second its my birthday on Thursday and it’s always good to spend it at home. Better chance for presents and general pampering! The most important reason for going back however is for the wedding of two friends. But its just not any wedding, it’s an Irish wedding!
The couple went to Uni with me and we ended up doing PhDs at the same department in Dundee. Our class in Uni was about thirty people in total and I’ve kept in touch with maybe ten to fifteen of them, some of whom will be at “the do”. We were lucky to all click and get on together. So its a mini reunion of sorts as well. Also, they’re having the wedding at the campus church so I suspect a few people from the old department will be down as well. A real blast from the past.
It’s important to prepare for Irish weddings, both physically an Read more:hellip
, Elbow
Lean Green Machine 2007-06-25 02:57:06 Bloody ‘eck, we have tomatoes, there’s one, and another and…
That was the call yesterday from the balcony. In our effort to be a little greener and to make the most of our balcony, we’ve got a few pots of tomato and courgette plants and have been anxiously waiting for the first sign of any sort of crop. The courgettes seemed to be on their way, but just as the veg started developing they also started withering up and going yellow? So our confidence and hope were shaken a little. Thats all changed now.
Our tomatoes had started flowering and so we were almost paying bees and random insects to come onto the balcony to “do their thing” and pollinate everything. This was a complete turn round from our aggressive defensive efforts against a few ants that have been scouting out our balcony. Anyway, I digress. For a while we weren’t sure if the “pollination magic” had happened but yesterday I noticed we’ve got a few small green to Read more:Green
, Machine
If you build it… 2007-07-04 01:53:17 &hellip
;they will come.
This time however, I can’t see this holding true. Imagine my amazement, while perusing the daily news offerings on the BBC, when I came across the following headline:
Hospital may be put on graveyard
Hello? Am I reading this right? Is it just me, or is there something deeply wrong about this possibility? The infinite wisdom that’s going into this decision leaves me absolutely gobsmacked. Who even contemplates exhuming hundreds of bodies to build a hospital? Land in Omagh (Co. Tyrone, Northern Ireland) must be like gold dust if it’s cheaper to move a load of bodies, de-consecrate (or whatever they have to do) the land and then build the hospital, rather than sticking it in a field next door?
I love the fact that they’re holding a “public consultation” on the matter…
Eh, hello, I’d like to bring this meeting to order please. You’ll see there’s just one item on the agenda today, so we’d like to get
Chickenless head… 2007-07-03 04:04:20 So I’m back,
But I have to admit to having a heavy heart on the way back to Basel. It’s a funny thing, the old home-sickness. I don’t suffer from it really, but when I’m away from home for roughly four to six months I get the urge to go back. Need to “get it out of my system”, see the folks and the neighbours, spend a few hours on the couch at home, raid the fridge and generally relax.
We had a great trip back to the Emerald Isle. Thursday was the wedding which was great fun. We got to catch up with lots of friends and former colleagues. Then “a few shandies” were had and I danced like a demon to the 70’s and 80’s classics on the dance floor. You’d have been proud. Headless chicken or chickenless head comes to mind.
Then on Friday, after a lot of re-hydrating and general moping about we took off up home. Stayed until Sunday and got back here Sunday evening. Thankfully no one drove a burning car into Dublin airport, altho Read more:hellip
I’ve been tagged…ahh nuts. 2007-07-07 11:42:58 Like a bad flu, this tagging thing has been going round, and now thanks to Robert I’ve caught it! I have to divulge eight unknown facts about myself. Not an easy proposition, I have to admit. I’ve lived a sheltered life! But here goes:
I worked for three months making airplane food in Logan Airport in Boston. I was responsible for making and measuring out exactly equal portions of salad on each tray as it came past. I was a demon at slicing radishes and peppers.
I used to swim for the Armagh swimming team, specialising in long distance breast stroke (enough of the smutty thoughts!).
I’ve been told I bear a close resemblance to a Mr. H. Potter, a young popular wizard. On the evening of my graduation after a few beverages, we got on the late night bus home. My friends pinned me to a wall and applied a scar to my forehead with lip liner before getting on. As I got my ticket, the whole bus starting chanting “Potter”. It’s now a nickname and the easiest Read more:hellip
Wholesome, fun for all the family, goodness… 2007-07-06 11:34:16 Just came across a website that checks your blog and gives it a film rating. I found it through Ellybabes who found it on the Limerick Blogger. Anyway, I stuck the Swiss Job in there and came up with:
I have to admit to being slightly disappointed. The only mildly offensive term they found in my blog was “Cocaine?”
Shit (that’ll improve the ranking!), it looks like I’m going to have to step the swearing and bad-mouthing up a notch or two!
Have a great weekend, I’m off for a “shandy” by the Rhein!
Read more:hellip
Blimey, it’s cold in here… 2007-07-06 02:36:42 I haven’t been this excited since my first all you can eat buffet. I’m so excited I could spit peaches, hock a lung chunk or, and I read this somewhere, poke a badger with a spoon? It’s not one of mine, I found that phrase on google. Anyway, I’m fierce excited about rugby. This is not too out of the ordinary for “I is a huge fan.” But, this isn’t any old rugby, oh no, its the Rugby World Cup! Wayhay!
I have posted about this before, ad nausea, but you see, I got tickets. I got the tickets for the game (Ireland v. Argentina) and they arrived last week, we got the tickets for the train and everything is ready to go and there’s only 60 odd days until kick off and it’s fantastic and and and&hellip
; Deep breath!
The Irish team have headed to Poland for a training session. They go over to a place called Spala where they have a cryo-chamber! This is to help the players recover quicker from the training so that they can do more in less time
Batten down the hatches 2007-07-05 03:33:23
I hereby challenge the Geneva sailing club for the America’s Cup.
For those of you who don’t know, or were not listening during your geography lessons at school, Switzerland is about as landlocked a country as you can get. Sure, there’s one or two big lakes and rivers but you have to travel a few hundred miles in every direction to reach the sea.
But a few days ago they won “the world cup” of sailing. Alinghi, a boat from the Geneva sailing club managed to beat a boat from New Zealand to take the America Cup. Now, before you start asking questions let me state that I haven’t the foggiest about sailing or the America Cup for that matter. Any time I get near undulating water I empty the contents of my stomach over the edge of whatever vessel I find myself in. But I find it amazing that a boat from Switzerland can win this competition.
There are some caveats to the whole thing however. Much like the best “English” football clubs, most of A
Is it me? 2007-07-12 11:47:05
After reading The Big Finn I had to go and try the Simpson’s Movie website. You can make an avatar of anyone!
So, I tried to make one of me and I think I’ve managed to capture the chiselled good looks, the masculinity and magnetism of yours truly. I’m sure you’ll agree!?
Of course any comments mentioning Milhouse will be scrapped.
Daisy’s going to blow… 2007-07-12 02:13:54 There’s a crisis in Wales. You see the problem is with cows. Flatulent cows to be exact. The report claims that cows can produce up to 500 litres of methane gas a day. That is a hell of a lot of gas. They think garlic may be the solution to the problem. But that’s not important.
Cow flatulence is worrying for many reasons. Methane, as I’m sure you know, is a very flammable gas. Now consider that every cow could be loaded up with 500 litres of the stuff and suddenly every field becomes a mine field. I’m suprised that cows are not exploding all round us. Can you imagine? Walking home through the fields and suddenly you hear an explosion and get hit, side on, by a rapidly accelerating T-bone steak. That’s going to sting.
Of course, they don’t explode becuase they “expel” or “propel” the gas out the back end. But methane, along with carbon dioxide, is one of the greenhouse gases and so this causes snow in Buenos Aires and drought Read more:Daisy
, hellip
Get the last of the woolly mammoths… 2007-07-11 03:28:07 I’m always amazed at the link between science fact and fiction. I often have trouble figuring out which one influences the other. Is science fiction getting ideas from science fact or is science fact trying to achieve what is set out in science fiction? Still with me?
Supposedly the mobile phone was directly influenced by the mobile communicator in Star Trek! Touch screen computers are readily available and voice activated gadgets are becoming more common place. I even hear a cloaking device has been theoretically proven. All well and good, next up will be transporters and a few photon torpedos for good measure.
But surely some of the best science fiction should be left as just that, fiction. What I’m getting at here are the books/films that show us a world in the future where things are far from okay. I’m thinking of Issac Asimov and Philip K. Dick who wrote great but worrying stories that have influenced films like “i Robot”, “A Scanner Darkly&rdqu Read more:hellip
Bloggorah 2007-07-10 07:44:23 Bring Back Blogorrah Campaign - Day 1
Damien has asked for a little support for the Blogorrah boys. Hopefully they can figure out their Web 2.0 problems and get back to a bit of Glenda bashing. They tried to resurrect Johnny Logan and failed (thank Christ), but we won’t give up. “Tear to a glass eye” and all that rubbish.
Did I mention I’m giving these badges away for free?
Swiss allegiances… 2007-07-10 02:28:39 What a win! We’re just coming down off the euphoric rollercoaster that was the Wimbledon final. Our man Federer did the business again. The Big Fed, The Fedster, El Federino, call him what you want but in Switzerland we call him God! It looked like he was rattled for a few minutes in the fifth set. Then he found second gear and finished off Nadal in pure Swiss
style and efficiency. Five Wimbledons (&hellip
; Oh the Wombles of Wimbledon common are we…) in a row can’t be sniffed at. I’m so proud of him.
You may be wondering what’s happened? Has he gone to the dark side? But as I’ve been living in Basel for 10 months now, I consider myself as good as Swiss. So I don’t know the language, or my way round, or who the President is but that’s not what’s important. I can’t sing the national anthem, I know nothing about Swiss history and I can’t vote in elections. But it’s what’s inside that’s important and when
The very rough guide to Basel bars… 2007-07-09 02:07:31 A difficult one this, but as an expat blogger I feel it’s my duty, some may say my destiny, to review the bars I visit here in Switzerland and let you know what I think. This, rather unselfishly (putting my body on the line), is for the benefit of anyone considering a move here or anyone who just happens to be stuck for a pint in Basel
.
The format is as follows. Myself and Matthew (from the Swisscoffee blog, it’s important to have a control alcoholic reviewer), who has offered his services willingly and for free, will visit a minimum of one establishment per week and score the place on the following criteria:
Date and time including opening hours and happy hours
Location and ease of access to non-Baselers
Beer selection and prices
Atmosphere
Service, attractiveness of bar staff and their willingness/ability to speak English
Smokiness
Snacks
Furnishings
Music
“The John”
Each category will be commented on and marked out of ten. Then using quite a complex algorit Read more:hellip
A cup of cocoa… 2007-07-14 07:07:30 Oil,
It’s the prime reason for all the madness in this world. America is blowing up half of the middle east because of it. Polar bears are drowning in far flung places. Al Gore is back on the interview circuit and in the Presidential race. Economies boom and bust on the price of a barrel going up or down by a dollar. The black gold holds everyone and every country to ransom.
Here in Switzerland, oil is as important as anywhere else. But they also keep their eye on some other very important products. As well as the price of a barrel of oil, the global interest rates are closely watched by the hundreds of banking firms here. The price of gold is fundamentally important to the stocks of Nazi gold buried somewhere under the Alps. Pharma companies live and die by clinical trials and share prices. All are important to keeping Switzerland afloat.
There’s one economic standard I never considered that holds a lot of sway over the Swiss economy. I realised this the other day when I s Read more:hellip
And now, the news… 2007-07-13 08:31:56 Swiss headlines from the last few days&hellip
;
Priceless watch collection recovered
Millions of Francs worth of watches (not swatches) found under an oak tree in La Chaux-de-Fonds.
New bishop fails to get everyone’s blessing
Vatican appoints the new man in Chur, not everyone is happy.
Federer equals Borg’s Wimbledon Record
Now everyone is happy.
New bank targets moderately wealthy clients
You only need SFr500,000 (€300,000) to open an account.
Grim weather puts damper on holidays
It’s raining and cold and miserable and it’s July!
The hills are alive with the rumble of trains
Any excuse to build new tunnels. The first Swiss underground is tested in Lausanne.
“Solar taxi” starts record trip round world
Lunatic Pioneer Louis Palmer plans to drive from Lucerne round the world without fossil fuels
Spin me baby one more time… 2007-07-13 02:21:34 Being a scientist I generally like to be able to explain things. I also like things to be clear and understandable. Cooking is a great example of this. If the recipe calls for 46.8 grammes of flour, it will get 46.8 grammes of flour. I generally like to prepare as much as possible before even turning on the oven so that I can add things at the specific time points needed. What infuriates me however is when recipes call for “a pinch” of this or “a handful” of that. I nearly exploded recently when a recipe called for the mixture to have the firmness of “an earlobe!” What does a standard earlobe firmness feel like? Is my handful bigger than yours?
My old physics teacher, who was a great teacher and one of the reasons I went into science, always got annoyed when we answered calculations without units.
Teacher : So what is the circumference of the circle? Anyone?
Me: Eh, is it 14.3, sir?
Teacher: 14.3? 14.3 what? Bananas? Donkeys? Unnnnniiiitts, where ar Read more:hellip
Search Terms 2007-07-18 03:56:37 A lazy post today, but here are some of the more interesting search terms people have used to find my blog!
Witty replies salesman
You Pork
“you go over it”
Graham moved to Switzerland
“I want you get away”
swiss offensive nickname
dancers job Switzerland
how to season BBQ meat with beer
they should bring back the T-Rex for pop
“without his legs”
I can explain some, others are best left to the imagination and some are just weird. “You Pork” has popped up a few times. Worringly so has “I want you get away”.
But by far and away the most popular search term that brings people to the blog is:
What have the Romans ever done for us!
I’m thinking of naming all my posts that from now on!
Read more:Search
, Terms
Homer genius… 2007-07-17 16:13:53 Even though I was pipped to the post by The Bingo Caller of Love I had to post it anyway. I’m really looking forward to the Simpsons movie. And stunts like this in Dorset only add to the anticipation. Absolute marketing and advertising brilliance!
Read more:Homer
, genius
, hellip
Review of Fischerstube Brewery 2007-07-17 02:04:09
Fischerstube Brewery
,
Rheingasse 45,
Basel,
Switzerland
I know it’s late but it was really tough to pick a pub to start our crusade. After all, this is essentially the pub that all else will be measured by. We have to set our standards in this pub and adhere to the strict system from now on.
So we settled on the Fischerstube Brewery. I’d been there two or three times before (The Big Finn and Mrs. TBF introduced me to it!) and I’ve always had a good experience. It’s what I would consider a good Swiss pub and is generally filled with locals especially around Fasnacht time.
Date and time: 10/07/07 around 8.30 - 10.30pm
Location and ease of access: Very easy to get to. A five minute walk from the Mittlere Brucke and a major tram line. Central Basel in other words. 8/10
Beer selection and prices: Being a micro-brewery they only sell their own brews. There are three to choose from, the Hell (lager), the Dunkel (dark) and the Hell spezial. A big plus is
The boys in blue… 2007-07-16 04:19:26 I’ve never been a big GAA supporter. For those of you outside of Ireland the GAA is the Gaelic Athletic Association. Its the governing body of the national games in Ireland. These include Gaelic football (sort of a cross between rugby, Australian rules and soccer), hurling (men with wooden sticks beat a small ball and often their opponents around a pitch), handball and rounders. The GAA is on a par with the Catholic church in terms of influence in Ireland.
But I’ve never been a huge follower of the sports. This is partly for two reasons I think. The GAA players have maintained an amateur status and so the glitz and glamour and tomfoolery that goes on in soccer and rugby were much more attractive to watch and read about. Secondly, I come from Monaghan. Apart from a golden period in the late 1980’s, Monaghan has never (in my lifetime) been successful in Gaelic football or hurling. S0, it was often best not to even bring the subject up in conversation.
This year however Read more:hellip
May the force be with you… 2007-07-20 08:59:29 Paul McGinley is about to start his second round at the Open Golf championships in Carnoustie. He’s currently in second place and has every chance of a good score today to take him into the weekend in prime position.
I feel particularly attached to this event as I lived down the road from Carnoustie in Dundee for two years. I’ve never played there but we’ve had a look round. There’s not much to see or do to be honest but it looks like a great course. I’ve also got a connection to McGinley. Bear with me:
My uncles wife, my aunt by marriage, her sister’s husband knows a bloke who’s best friends with McGinley.
We’re practically brothers. Good luck Paul!
Read more:hellip
Luck of the Irish… 2007-07-20 02:00:51 What a week! Yesterday I got a nice email from a man telling me I’d won $400,000 and a BMW 5 series. All I had to do was to click the link and claim my prize. I’m going to save it for the weekend.
So lucky, but then you can imagine my amazement this morning when I found an email from Mr. Richard Cole Murphy Junior in my inbox saying I’ve just won £2.8 million! What are the chances?
ROYAL HOUSE UK.
WORCESTER, HEREFORD & WORCESTER,
WR1 1JT, UNITED KINGDOM.
FAX: +-4-4-7-0-0-5-9-8-1-5-4-8
mr_richard_murphy2007@yahoo.co.uk
From: Mr. Richard Cole Murphy Jr.
(Promotion Department)
Sir/Madam,
We are please to announce you as one of the 3 lucky winners in the European Union National lottery Ballot Draws. All 6 winning addresses were randomly selected from a batch of 30,000 email addresses. Your email address emerged alongside 2 others under our promotional B draws. Consequently, you have therefore been approved for a total pay out of £2,800,000 Pounds (Two Million, eight Read more:hellip
, Irish
The New Jersey Diet 2007-07-19 04:06:40 There comes a time in every mans life when the metabolism begins to slow and weight starts being distributed to less desirable areas of the body. It’s when the futile claims of “just one more pint” or “what, there’s one pork chop left…well it’d be rude not to!” catch up with you and you know things have to change. I think I’ve reached this milestone, the pendulum is swinging and I’m determined to do something about it.
To combat the ever increasing size of my mid torso, I’m going on the New Jersey
diet. You mightn’t have heard of this one before. The Atkins and South Beach diet have been popular over the last while. These diets generally involve lots of carbs or no carbs, high/low salt, low fat, omega oils, trans fatty acids, vitamin supplements, rigourous work outs, grapefruit only meals, GI indexes and a bit of pilates. But that’s all a little too much for me.
The reason I need to lose weight and I’v
Giving 100%… 2007-07-21 09:47:45 You don’t have to be hard to play rugby, but it helps!
Click the link above. For those of you who are too lazy here’s the story. Australian guy playing rugby league goes into a nasty tackle and cuts his head. Shakes it off and plays on. Four months later he starts getting shooting pains in his eye and forehead. The doctor quickly diagnoses the problem. He had an opponents tooth buried in his forehead and hadn’t realised! The opponent lost three teeth and broke his jaw in the tackle!
It says a lot about the stupidity and ruggedness of rugby players!
Read more:Giving
, hellip
Recommend Site To A Friend
