Owner: Turetzky Syndrome URL:http://www.turetzkysyndrome.com Join Date: Tue, 15 May 2007 21:08:25 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Stories of my adventures in the comedy music biz, as I perform tunes heard on the Sirius Radio Howard 101 and Raw Dog Comedy channels, the Dr. Demento Show, National Lampoon Radio and the Podsafe Music Network. Site statistics:Click here
Find songs by Ken Turetzky on Sirius Radio Song Seek 2006-05-20 05:19:38 Visit Song Seek, type "Ken Turetzky" into the Artist window and find my recent play history on the Sirius
Satellite Radio
Raw Dog Comedy Channel.
Want to hear more of my songs
on Sirius? Send requests to Red Peters, Raw Dog Comedy Channel host Phil Iazzetta and comedy program director John McDermott. Or, call 1-866-4-RAWDOG and leave a message for Phil.
Check it out! 2006-05-20 05:14:03 Look What I Made! is now circulating at the Dallas Public Library and Indiana State University's Cunningham Memorial Library.
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Tyrone sets Kahnmanapalooza. intros new Turetzky bumpers 2007-05-23 18:01:00 One of the many obligations of fake celebrity is to record brief promotional audio segments, known in the trade as bumpers, for needy podcast and radio show hosts, themselves trapped in the happy delusion of fake celebrity.
Your assignment: Create a bumper that will be clever, relevant and brief, plugging whatever it is that you do while displaying an enthusiasm for the show you're acknowledging with your fake-celebrity presence.
Why? Because nobody ever asked before
I would complain about the demands of such responsibilities, had anyone actually asked me to record a bumper. But that was before Tyrone
Kahn requested a couple of spots for Kahn Man's Comedy Corner, which runs from 7-9 p.m. and 10 p.m. to midnight CDT every Wednesday on DFSX Comedy Radio.
After careful consideration, I produced three Tyrone-related bumpers. The first plugs his show, the second DFSX Radio and the third, bonus track, features my dead-on Tyrone Kahn impersonation.
If you could have heard the exciteme
Recovering Fundamentalists: 'The Ballad Of Morris The Cat' 2007-06-01 02:16:02 Recovering Fundamentalists, Episode 111
Date: May 28, 2007
Full episode: Avians, Napoleans and Morris
The Cat
Summary: Jews don't preach to nobody, so we're not often in need of toxic religious decompression on the order of Taylor Kent's Snark Infested Waters or Jeri Massi's Recovering Fundamentalists.
Howsomever, I'm always glad to contribute a song to the cause, and Jeri selected The Ballad
Of Morris The Cat from the collection plate for a recent episode of her podcast.
The show appears six days a week (with Sundays off for football) as a sort of 15-minute daily devotional, featuring some funny songs, some gospel songs and a shot of scripture.
A subdued Jeri, a bit worn perhaps from contemplation of an impending Newt Gingrich candidacy, narrates.
Hope for battered Christians
"My podcast is an odd duck," Jeri writes. "I try to create a 15-minute haven for people who have been abused in really, really strict and legalistic Christian Fundamentalist churches. So I do that wi
Links for 2007-07-06 [del.icio.us] 2007-07-07 00:00:00
No. 2 authority dumps praise on 'Her Shit Don't Stink'
Dave Praeger really knows his shit. A political scientist at heart, Dave scours the Web for a lot of socially relevant crap and crams it all into his popular news site poopreport.com. But Dave also displays a keen nose for poop culture. For an example, ch
Links for 2007-07-12 [del.icio.us] 2007-07-13 01:00:00
I'll Get Old And Die breaks on Kahnman's Comedy Corner
"My wife was wondering why you mentioned Jesus in your song," Tyrone Kahn said cautiously. "Oh, that's nothing," I told him. I have a song called 'Everybody Wants To Be Jesus!' It goes: Who'd ever turn down the chance to be Jesus H. Christ!" "Gee," Tyrone
Recovering Fundamentalists podcast reaches out to battered Christians
"It would bore most people to death," writes podcaster Jeri Massi, who describes herself as "the female version of Ned Flanders," "but I am reaching out to a silent (but sizable) minority of people who have suffered the unspeakable from men who claim to r
Hyper Nonsense: 'The Ballad of Morris The Cat' 2007-07-21 00:52:32 Hyper Nonsense
, Episode 78
Date: July 20, 2007.
Full episode: HN 078 — Pleased and appreciated
Summary: Harry Potter's just about everywhere this week. Do we need Harry Potter at the grocery store?
I walk into Albertsons to buy a package of chicken breasts, and a wizard hands me a cheap green photocopied flier promoting the new Harry Potter book.
As I move through the aisles, squeezing cherries, thumping cantaloupes, tearing open bags of cookies and kneading mounds of raw hamburger, a woman's voice hustles the new Harry Potter book over the store intercom.
Harry Potter and the Deadly Cupcakes
"Be here at 12:01 a.m. to get the new Harry Potter book," she exhorts in a tone more suited to seafood specials and two-for-one cupcakes. "It's the laaay-est one! Don't be the laaay-est person to get the laaay-est Harry Potter book!"
Similarly, Hyper Nonsense co-host (with husband Shawno) Jen works herself into a nearly hysterical Potter-esque fit as she previews the whi Read more:Ballad
, Morris
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Harry Potter and the Deadly Albertsons Cupcakes
Do we need Harry Potter at the grocery store? "Be here at 12:01 a.m. to get the new Harry Potter book," the Albertsons intercom lady exhorts in a tone more suited to seafood specials and two-for-one cupcakes. "It's the laaay-est one! Don't be the laaay-es
Schnauzer Logic: Summer of Not So Much Love 2007-07-28 21:38:53 Podcast Roundup
Schnauzer Logic
: Summer
of Not So Much Love
Schnauzer Logic, Episode 58
Date: July 18, 2007
Full episode: Schnauzer Logic, Episode 58
Summary: It's Summer Of Not So Much Love week on Schnauzer Logic, and with three members of the regular cast occupied elsewhere, I'm provided extra time to spin my failed bits and pointless stories.
I open with my own emulation of Albert Brooks's mock eulogy for Mort Sahl (you had to be there, and unfortunately, I wasn't) and emboldened by the desperate laughter (they had no more guests) of host Robin Goldstein and panelist Sheri Stevens, attempt even more humiliating and obscure celebrity impersonations.
Please, don't encourage him!
In successionI follow with Rachael Ray, Apu from the Quickie Mart and Bill Dana (as Jose Jimenez, interpreted through my little niece, inhabiting her favorite Disney character, Sleeping Beauty) impressions.
And then, because two out of three of us are Jews, we settle in for a good, long examinati
Manic Mondays: So many ways to 'Die' 2007-07-31 16:39:16 Manic Mondays
, Episode 116
Date: July 23, 2007
Full episode: Of Gods And Death
Summary: I wrote I'll Get Old And Die as a protest against the myriad misfortunes that may befall us as we approach the inevitable.
Tom Rockwell, front man for Sudden Death and host of Manic Mondays, released a new song on the FuMP called Getting Old Sucks that essentially protests the basic theme of my song.
And they died, died, died!
But we're both trumped by the dark, dark humor of The Flu Pandemic, an otherwise bright little ditty by Houston folk band The Flying Fish Sailors.
Once you've heard the chorus, you'll be singing along like me:
It was the Flu pandemic
And it swept the whole world wide
It caught soldiers and civilians
And they died, died, died!
Whether they're lying in the trenches
Or lying in their beds
Twenty million of them got it
And they're dead, dead, dead!
Ancient history — Or was it?
Lucky for us, that was a long time ago, and we don't have to worry abou Read more:Manic
Snark Infested Waters: 'I'll Get Old And Die' — Again and Again 2007-07-29 17:39:22 Snark Infested Waters
, 20070721
Date: July 21, 2007
Full episode: Snark Infested Waters Summer Update
Summary: The flesh-eating zombie rats are running wild at Snark Infested Waters, where science fiction and fantasy join radio mysteries, Jesus and death as favorite preoccupations of host Taylor Kent.
The current episode — and likely the last until 2008 as Kent begins a hiatus — features Brian Keene reading from his upcoming novel Dead Sea, which begins:
I didn't shoot the bitch until she started eating Alan's face.
Kent previously played my songs The Ballad Of Morris The Cat and If They Found Me Dead, in January and April, respectively.
He closes this final show with my latest release, I'll Get Old And Die.
Kent, for some reason (I suspect a distraction with flesh-eating zombie rats), failed to include his usual tagline. I'll add it here:
And as always, if you don't know Jesus, you're screwed.
Flesh-eating zombie rats: ( Read more:Again
, Snark
The Awful Show: Happy birthday, Tha Mike 2007-08-03 11:52:12 The Awful Show, Episode 58
Date: July 28, 2007
Full episode: Bowling for Gopher Poop
Summary: It's Tha Mike's birthday on The Awful Show, and he wisely selects my song I'll Get Old And Die to mark the occasion and the serenade himself as he advances toward the treacherous mid-30s.
"I thought that was appropriate for tonight," Tha Mike says, darkly.
"Wow!" says co-host Nerraux.
I'll appear as a guest on the August 23 edition of The Awful Show, which tapes (for lack of a better word) on Friday evenings and now offers a live stream, starting at about 10 p.m. CDT.
Listen: (0:48).
Read more:Happy
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