Owner: Luna Tail - From Anxiety to Zen URL:http://www.lunatail.com Join Date: Tue, 15 May 2007 20:25:02 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: About my journey through live, with dogs, knitting, and anxiety. Site statistics:Click here
Reliability 2007-05-16 00:14:34 Do you consider yourself reliable?
I worry about being reliable. One of the things that causes me anxiety. I’m very paranoid that people will think I’m unreliable. And lots of times I am unreliable. Often when I’m in the depths of anxiety, or else when I’m having major PMS. Or other times when I’m just tired.
I really do try to call people back, meet deadlines, do what I say I’m going to do, and things like that. In dog rescue, most people are reliable. However, many many rescue people are busy. Very busy. Hard to get in touch with, and hard to meet up with. I want to try my best to be available.
Sometimes I’m not. Last weekend I was at agility, and then I was very tired, and so I was not really available, nor was I reliable. But I was able to call back everyone I needed to yesterday. And so I think I’m okay.
But really, maybe I should stop beating myself up for it. Who cares if I’m reliable anyway? Is it just something in mys
Swallowing Pills 2007-05-15 22:32:49 Lately I suck at swallowing pills.
Seriously. They are getting stuck in my throat. How can pills get stuck in your throat? Isn’t the throat designed to push them down with muscle action we don’t control?
The other day I was going to obedience class with the dogs and I took some Vitex Agnus Castus on the way so I’d feel better with my PMS. So I took them with a glass of water. I didn’t have any food in the car, or water, and about 5 minutes into the drive one of the capsules popped open and right into my mouth the stuff went. Ewwww.
It was not fun. So now I make it a habit to eat after I take a pill. I swear, they just don’t go down easy any more. Maybe I need that spoon full of sugar!
Quotes to Remember 2007-05-15 16:51:23 Well, back to work today. Always fun.. though there are a zillion things I’d rather be doing.
These quotes are excellent, and since I have a quotes category, I thought I would link to them. Here are the Don’t Fear the Truth » Quotes
to Remember
. Have a look, and a good think.
Watching CSI 2007-05-15 02:38:31 ooo but Heroes is on tonight! I will have to watch that. I’m trying to watch a recorded episode of CSI while I blog. Doesn’t work too well, I keep missing parts of the show and having to rewind.
It’s an interesting one. Aliens? Hrm. I do believe there are other life forms in the galaxy. Though I’m not so sure any of them have been to Earth yet.
I had a private lesson with Chase today and our obedience instructor, click here if you want to read more about it! Read more:Watching
I Won! 2007-05-15 02:20:13 Oh my gosh! I won a contest! The Entral Blog was running a contest, $10 certificate if you commented on a post. The certificate is towards her store of things she makes.
Oh my, she has some gorgeous things! All her things are made with vintage, recycled and repurposed materials.
I’m going to go look. I need some new earrings. I love earrings. I don’t have many. I lost one of my lady bug earrings… I need to buy a new set.
lugnut22 2007-05-14 23:26:23 Been looking over other websites, and I found a website that is experimenting in blogging for money. http://www.lugnut22.com/. I do this too, on my other blog, Tip Tail, and I hope to do it on this one as well when it is old enough and has enough traffic. I raise the money for Utah Collie Rescue, Inc.
The site author even blogged about Luna Tail! Which was very nice, considering this is such a young site.
The blog has ideas about money making, too, so I’ll be checking them out on a regular basis.
Addicted to Chocolate Chips 2007-05-14 04:15:50 Ugh. Lately I’ve been snacking on way too many chocolate chips. My husband makes oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that are really good, but he hasn’t made any in a while, but we still have the chocolate chips around. And no other chocolate or candy.
And so at night I’ve been having a handful of chocolate chips. They are so good. I just crave them. I sit and watch TV in the evenings and I crave chocolate! So I just ate some, and the craving is gone, but now I think I feel a bit of a buzz.
I guess it’s the sugar and caffeine. And maybe I shouldn’t have any before bed, maybe that is why I am having a hard time falling asleep lately. Hrmph.
I love chocolate… Read more:Addicted
, Chips
, Chocolate
Imported Posts 2007-05-13 21:06:18 With the help of a friend and his wordpress website, I was able to split out all my posts that were not dog related from Tip Tail! Yay. Actually, I left a number of old posts on there that were not dog related. I figured they didn’t really matter here, and should just stay.
So I’m happy now. I have two full blogs with different content on each. So dog people don’t have to worry about my non-dog drivel, and people who don’t care much about my dogs can come here and read about other things.
Yeah I’m a nut. My husband has been teasing me about my blogging. :0
Happy Mother’s Day 2007-05-13 19:20:47 So, today is Mother’s Day. It’s already past 11 am and I’m still in my jammies on the couch in front of my laptop reading and writing on blogs. Too much fun. But seriously, I’m going over to my Mom’s today and I haven’t gotten her anything, so I might have to stop by and get some flowers. She is so hard to shop for. She already has everything. And I’m just sucky at buying gifts anyway.
My sister is so good at it, she’s very creative. Really, I’m more tom-boy, and just not very homey or creative that way.
Oh well. Should be a relaxing day today. I’m really zoned out today. Just want to sit and be a vegetable, not think about anything, or even do anything. Read more:Happy
, Happy Mother
Buzzing 2007-05-13 16:12:52 Since this blog is so new, you might see lots of posts of me reviewing other blogs, in return for links back to this blog, to increase traffic and rankings. So, I’d love Get some Buzz from InvestorBloggers website!
I’d love a review, if possible.
Better Today 2007-05-17 22:26:27 My crap was I stressed yesterday or what. I totally was. With a collie coming back, being returned, and two collies coming into my house for fostering, I was overwhelmed. I have one of those collies now, the other one I don’t have yet but probably will soon.
I must be polite to people. Well, I try, anyway. I really think it’s good to keep open polite communications with people. I felt bad about the lady giving me Sam, she was crying. And though I don’t like owner surrenders, I really don’t want to be mean to people. For one, I really suck at confrontation. I mean I really suck at it bad.
I don’t know how to control myself. For me, it’s either I flip out and yell and scream and lose control of myself, or I’m nice. One or the other. I don’t know how to be angry in a constructive way. Anger was never acceptable for me.
But that’s okay. I wish Sam could have stayed with his family but I’m not going to be bitchy with them about Read more:Today
Woo Hoo First Payout! 2007-05-16 22:12:19 Well, not really the first payout, more like the first payout of the new domain. My Tip Tail Dog Blog does sponsored posts for Pay Per Post. I did it before I changed domain names, but when I changed, I had to wait for a while to get things reset up for my new domain.
Today, it’s been 30 days since I did the first opportunity on the new domain. Woo Hoo
. Got my first $12. From now on, I should get a payout every day or couple of days, depending on how many opps I am able to take.
For the collies! They need it! Read more:First
Have To 2007-05-16 17:15:12 One thing that causes me no end of anxiety, and happens almost on an hourly basis for me, is the thought of having to do something.
I must balance my check book. I must meet people to get a new collie into rescue, I must put the dishes away, I must wash my clothes.
Yes, the anxiety rears it’s ugly head even for simple things like washing my stupid clothes. I think I wrote in another post about how my anxiety is like the Red Knight in the Fisher King. Or a Red Demon, in my case. It is in the center of my chest, and locks me down so that I don’t want to do what I think I must.
It applies to my job, too. But what applies more so to my job is when I don’t know something, and I’m afraid that I’m going to get yelled at, or much worse, fired, for not knowing something. Have I ever been yelled at for that at work? No. But I was when I was younger. At least I think so. I always feel like I should Know More Than I Do. Or I’ll get punished in some way.
I ha
Self Portrait Sunday 2007-05-20 19:08:40 Well, it’s Sunday
again. How come Sundays come and go so fast? I’m taking a very easy day today. Surfing the web, watching some TV. I was sick Friday and so I want to get better, so today is a good rest day.
I got my hair done yesterday. See the purple? I love purple. Maybe I’m too old to have fun with my hair, but I don’t care. I was too stupid to do fun things for myself when I was younger, and so I’m doing it now.
I had a big breakfast, and I’m hungry already. No appetite, but I’m hungry anyway, guess I should go eat something since it’s almost lunch time.
Read more:Portrait
, Self Portrait
Peas, Saturdays, and Dogs 2007-05-20 00:36:20 Well, first off, I have a new 120 Gig hard drive in my laptop! Yay! I’m excited. I have a ton of room now to burn my DVDs and things.
And, I got my hair done. Woot. I will post a picture tomorrow on Self Portrait Sunday. I have purple in my blond.
We are going to go see Spiderman III in a bit. But the husband is playing WoW and so we have to wait until his instance is done before we go. I’m very glad we worked out our problems with his games. He is very good at giving me attention even though he loves to play. I played Everquest with him a lot, so I understand games. They can be really fun.
We got Mac today, so we not have both Sammy and Mac. Both are cuties. We sure have a full house with six dogs, two cats, and two humans. I’m glad the aquarium is gone, I just didn’t have time for fish!
I went to see my therapist this morning. I just love her. She is like a bundle of positive energy. She told me that 60% of the people who go to the ER for heart pro Read more:Saturdays
Phones and Phones 2007-05-24 17:13:05 I have a cell phone. I will admit it. I hardly use it, it’s a pay-as-I-use type, which I like a lot. I consider, sometimes, getting a different plan, but I’m not sure which I would get. And I like inexpensive. I like it for emergencies only. I don’t really need one that I can have a zillion minutes with. Actually, part of my SA is… phones. I am afraid of phones. Yup yup, I am, I admit it. I prefer writing in email, or on message boards, or blogs. Better than phones.
Anyway, if I were get another phone, I would check out Wirefly. They have a ton of phones to chose from. They have Nextel phones, and Sprint cell phones, and T-Mobile phones, among others. They even have prepaid, which is my favorite.
On their front page they have deals you can get when you sign up and purchase one of their phones and plans. And they deal with every provider, so surely there is something for everyone in their store.
They have cash back rebates, and resources about wireless ba Read more:Phones
Sleep and Twitch 2007-05-24 07:21:21 Fortunately I don’t sleep and twitch at the same time. Well, not that I know of anyway.
I need more sleep. Do I? No, not really. I get 8 to 10 hours a night. I love to sleep. It’s my favorite. Lately, though, I’ve been having a really hard time falling asleep, and then a really hard time waking up. Even when I wake up later, around 8, I still have a hard time shaking sleep off. I could go to bed earlier, but I already go to bed around 9, sometimes 8:30. I get up for work around 5:30, but it’s been really hard lately. I’ve never been a morning person.
And this morning, I wake up, and I have a twitch on my upper lip on the left side. What is the deal with that? Ugh. Not lack of sleep… did flyball practice last night, which did wear me out, but still.
I hate twitches. Read more:Sleep
Sixteen Hundred Calories 2007-05-23 16:40:01 Okay okay okay! I need to start getting back on track with healthy eating. Since I started this new thing… errr, that’s my secret and I haven’t talked about yet, my appetite has gone down, but so has my ability to really care about much. And so I’ve been eating a lot of chocolate chips and other unhealthy things. But since I don’t eat much, my weight is holding steady.
If I were to use a calorie counter, I wonder how many calories I consume with these chocolate chips. I used to track my calories a lot, using a spreadsheet, but using an online system is easier, and I can do it from anywhere. And it’d be a good way to see what I’m eating.
If I did that, I’d use a free calorie counter. And then I’d have to start watching what I eat. And making a better meal plan again. I know how to lose weight, I know what I have to do, I know how to eat healthy. I just have to make the decision to do it.
Using MyFitnessPal for calorie counting he Read more:Calories
, Hundred
, Sixteen
Procrastination is Reinforcing 2007-05-23 14:11:36 Procrastination is an interesting thing. Many people procrastinate. I joke, too, and say “Never do today what you can do tomorrow.”
Procrastination is interesting because it is self-reinforcing. I get this from the dog world, where I get many things from. Reinforcement is a powerful thing. And emotionally it can really get us to do things.
When a person procrastinates, or puts something off until later, there can be a real feeling of relief. That feeling is very pleasant and very reinforcing. So procrastination really reinforces itself. The more we put things off, the more relieved we feel, and the more we will put things off.
It relieves the anxiety and stress. Momentarily, anyway. It may cause guilt, or anxiety, later on as we get closer to a deadline, or having to complete whatever we are avoiding. But since that is later.. that’s in the future, it is not as intense.
Just an interesting tidbit of knowledge. Read more:Procrastination
Bloggerwave! 2007-05-23 12:31:55 Here there is a cool new pay for blogging service out there and it’s called Bloggerwave! I just signed up, and they like this blog, too! So hopefully I can raise some money through them for the collies. Yippee.
I’m going to be checking their opportunities on a regular basis and see what I can do for them, and what they can do for me. This is mighty fun stuff!
Wow it’s Wednesday 2007-05-23 11:48:55 Time just flies. Especially with Mondays off and having to do a bunch of things with the dogs. Got Sam chipped, and Mac already is chipped. I also decided I’m going to take a break from agility classes for a while. I’m too overloaded. And since Chase is taking a break and we are working on obedience and focus, and Levi is just steady in agility, it’s an okay thing to cut right now. UGH, I hate cutting agility classes, I love agility. But obedience Tuesday is more important. And Flyball on Wed is fun, and we have to learn our box work better still.
Anyway… I’ve been working a lot yesterday and today, so not much posting. At lunch today I’m going to arrange all my pay to blog services into a spreadsheet. I keep getting confused as to who I’m working for, who I’m getting paid from, and who I have even registered with. :p
I hope this blog is ready soon for some money making for the collies! Read more:Wednesday
Happy Birthday To Me 2007-05-26 07:20:10 Today is my second annual 39th Birthday
. Oh okay, it’s my 40th! 40 years ago on May 26, 1967, little Cynthia came into the world.
I’m off to do agility, and have a fun day. Read more:Happy
, Happy Birthday
In My Neighborhood 2007-05-25 18:01:48 You should really sing the title to this blog post. “… in the neighborhood…” that is a song, isn’t it?
What is going on in my neighborhood, you may ask? Well, since my husband and I both have Social Anxiety, we hardly know our neighbors. But we do know the lady across the street has lived in her house since it was built in 1943 (ours was also built in 1943, same design, just a mirror image). The people next to them have a little girl probably just under a year old. They are renting but they love the house and the block, and want to buy.
There were about 4 cop cars and a fire truck on our street this week, that was exciting.
Our house has 7 dogs in it at the moment (yeah 7, in 1300 square feet, too small for 7 dogs, one that is 99 pounds). So it keeps us hopping.
I haven’t seen the regularly loose dogs out lately, thank the gods. I hate it when people let their dogs roam the block. And poop everywhere. With 7 dogs, we have enough poop of our Read more:Neighborhood
Writing About 2007-05-25 16:33:20 Hmmm… there are many web sites out there that go on about how to build SEO (Search Engine Optimization - I only discovered this week what SEO stood for). There is a fairly new website up, now, where you can submit your blog, or website, for free or for pay, and they will put you on their front page.
Now, I’ve read that pages that have a ton of outgoing links might take a hit from Google’s PR, instead of a boost. But it seems that PR is a giant mystery, and no one knows exactly how it works. Maybe the guys writing it do (I sure hope they do) but for the masses, it’s still in debate.
Anyway, this website is WriteAbout.us. They are a PR3 as of the latest PR update. You can pay to get a link up on their site, or you can submit one for free. I’m doing the free thing, because I’m poor, and need money for the collies. I’m going to see how it works and just do this blog for now, and wait on my other blog for a bit.
Spring and Home Depot 2007-05-25 07:19:49 It’s not summer until June… right? (March April May June…) yeah that’s right. The summer solstice in in June (I always forget, have to count months.) One of my favorite stores in springtime is Home Depot
. I love going and buying plants and things for my yard. I love yard art, and those spinney wheels and things to make it homey. Home Depot
is a great place to go for these things.
Home Depot has a newsletter you can sign up for. If you sign up, I get a little bit of a kickback for the collies. And it’ll save money, too. With discounts and coupons and articles and lots of savings. A very useful newsletter indeed! And it’s free to sign up! So if you want to do something to help the collies, and get good information, check out this Home Depot Newsletter:
Read more:Spring
Trusting Ourselves 2007-05-24 17:53:58 I was reading a blog post over at Anxious Living and it really struck a chord in me.
Do I trust myself? No, I don’t, really. Logically when I look at my life, I really like the life I have built for myself. Finally I fought my codependency and won. I have a great husband, I actually am building friendships, and I’m doing what I love.
So why don’t I trust myself? And what, actually, don’t I trust?
I don’t trust my emotional interpretation of a situation. Mainly because I think, most of my life, I have reacted poorly, or inappropriately, to things. I don’t really know how to deal with my anger, accept it, and use it for my benefit without hurting anyone else. I don’t really know, but I’m learning, what behavior is okay to accept from other people… toward me. But I’m learning. I am.
I don’t trust my judgment of how good of work I do. I’m biased… usually towards the negative, or toward the pessimistic end.
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