Owner: Comedy Plus URL:http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sun, 13 May 2007 16:07:58 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Life is too serious and I prefer to just laugh about anything and everything. Very little is sacred to me, I mean very little. If you like poking fun at men, women, kids, blondes, idiots, and old people then you have come to the right place... Site statistics:Click here
Off to Vegas 2007-05-13 17:15:00 A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed."Just where the heck do you think you're going?", said the man."I'm going to Las Vegas
", said the wife, "I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!" The man said, "Wait a minute!", and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand."Where the heck are you going?", said the wife.The man said, "I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!"
Day Off From Blogging! 2007-05-12 17:20:00 Saturday is family day...not boating day!Our entire family is getting together for the day to enjoy each others company, and eat lots of great food.The reason I'm telling everyone this is I won't be doing my usual blogging today. I will have a houseful and enjoying every minute.I just want you all to know that I will miss my usual visits. Just know that I'll be thinking of each and everyone of you. Have a great day! Read more:Blogging
Here's Your Sign... 2007-05-12 16:59:00 Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?""Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "No - We talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool
Rules For Managers 2007-05-11 19:01:00 Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is priority. I am psychic.Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful inform Read more:Managers
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Military Spouse Day 2007-05-11 19:00:00 I was making my rounds today and stopped by Mrs Dub's site and found out that May 11th, 2007 is MilitarySpouse
Day. To all the wonderful spouses left here to hold down the fort, I give the following poem in their honor. Thank you for what you do too.A Military Spouse's PrayerAuthor UnknownLord,Give me the strength of heart to seeThe difference in duty and his love for meGive me the understanding to knowThat when duty calls, he must goGive me the patience to know in my heartThat he is serving his country and doing his partGive me the strength to carry onWhen he's working late or must be goneGive me a task to do each dayTo fill the time while he is awayGive me others who can shareThe ups and downs and who'll really careGive me the wisdom to get me throughWhen I'm not quite sure of what to doAnd Lord, while our family is hereKeep us healthy, safe and full of cheer.
The Delivery 2007-05-10 17:28:00 A new business was opening and one of the owners friends sent flowers for the occasion. but when the owner read the card with the flowers, it said, "Rest In Peace". The owner was a little peeved, and he called the florist to complain.After he told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said, "Sir I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations On Your New Location". Read more:Delivery
Thought For Today... 2007-05-08 17:09:00 There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. Read more:Today
Great Truths 2007-05-08 16:49:00 Truths Adults Have Learned:1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.2. Wrinkles don't hurt.3. Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.Truths About Growing Old:1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that youonce got from a roller coaster.5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.The Four Stages of Life:1. You believe in Santa Claus.2. You don't believe in Santa Read more:Great
Chinese Freeze Tag 2007-05-08 04:05:00 Shelly over at This Eclectic Life tagged me with this ChineseFreeze
Tag. I’m supposed to tell 10 interesting facts about myself. This can be something shocking or anything that may become a surprise to people! I don't think too many folks know anything about me, so whatever I do will probably be a surprise. Here goes:1. My real name is Sandee. Some know this but most call me comedy+. Some think I'm male, but when I checked I turned out to be female. Go figure.2. I am retired after spending 25 years working in law enforcement. When I retired I was a lieutenant in charge of a maximum security jail. Yep, a women in charge of a whole bunch of men. They by God did what I told them to as well.3. I am a republican (so were my parents), but my strong feelings have to do with seeing the underbelly of the world for so long. I would bet many of my readers have no clue what the bad people are doing. Reading about it in the paper or watching things on TV isn't the same. I have seen and had de
Manic Monday #7 Survive 2007-05-08 03:16:00 This is for you Mo...We love you ♥ ♥ ♥2. Mo3. http://rhonda-rhondasblog.blogspot.com/4. And Miles to Go...5. Rebecca of Sunnybrook6. Skittles7. Jamie8. Crazy Working Mom9. Gattina10. Gattina11. Callie Ann12. Meloncutter13. Stine14. SargeCharlie15. Claire Rachael Pitt16. Mz. Jackson17. Anndi18. mags19. Desert Songbird20. Lisa21. Kendra22. Imma (Alice)23. Get Your Blog On!24. Sanni25. Travis26. Parlancheq27. Richard28. Lowell C.Learn more about ManicMonday
here.View More Manic Monday
ParticipantsPowered by... Mister Linky's Magical Widgets.
Wikipedia Meme 2007-05-07 00:40:00 I was tagged by Barb from Skittles' Place to participate in the Wikipedia
meme. Here are the rules of the road:Go to Wikipedia and type your birth date (just month and day) into the search box. Then list:3 events that happened on that day in history, then2 birthdays on that day, and finally1 death that occurred on that day.Three Events: 1966 - "The Man Trap", the first episode of the science fiction television series Star Trek airs.1970 - Hijacking (and subsequent destruction) of three airliners to Jordan by Palestinians; the events to follow would later become known as Black September.1974 - Evel Knievel's attempt to jump the Snake River Canyon at Twin Falls, Idaho, fails after a parachute prematurely deploys on his "sky cycle."Two Birthdays:1925 - Peter Sellers, English actor (d. 1980)1932 - Patsy Cline, American singer (d. 1963)One Death:1970 - Jimi Hendrix American rocker (b. 1942)I tag: Coffee with Mz. Jackson, CrZzY Working Mom, and The Rocky Mountain Retreat.
Vent Alert!!! 2007-05-04 22:05:00 Let's clear something up here...This is a humor blog. I do not do political debates. If you will pay close attention I have poked fun at both sides of the aisle. I am a Republican and proud of that fact. I do not agree with burning the American flag, that is unless you wrap yourself in it first. I am proud of our armed forces. I support our President. What is so difficult about that?If you want to debate why liberals are right then go someplace else to do that. I find very little to nothing right about liberals. I want to have fun. Plain and simple. Take your views and hang with those folks who feel as you do. Don't come over here with questions about why I feel the way I do and then I see on your site the bashing of conservatives and talk that reeks of treason. I will just delete your comment and move on to something funny. Again this is a humor site! I poke fun at everyone!!! Everyone including conservatives. Hope that clears this up!I feel much better now... See you on Sunday...of Read more:Alert
A Special Gift 2007-05-04 18:43:00 I received a wonderful surprise this morning. While making my rounds to my favorite blogs I found a post dedicated to my husband and I for our recent anniversary.I love reading Lynda's poetry on love. I often tell her that she is writing about my husband and I. Well, she did it again. If you like poetry about love then you need to visit lynda's loft. She is brilliant. Thank you so much Lyn ♥ Here is her gift...Happy Anniversary to the one I adore; it is a special day,For once upon that time, you came my way...We have come so far, since I first saw you,Our love has become the kind of which only great dreamers knew...I am glad that we finally came to be,We are so perfect as one, you and me...After all of this time, I still like you very much,Even your bad habits and such...You are the one who makes me smile,Who makes my days worth while...I enjoy our time spent, we have a lot of fun,We share like minds from which comfort is spun...So, on this day, all those yet to come,I want you kn Read more:Special
Billy-Bob and Mary Lou 2007-05-04 18:21:00 Billy-Bob was walking into town one day wearing nothing but his gun and his boots. Just as he began walking down Main Street he was confronted by the Sheriff."Hey, Billy-Bob, ya mind if I ask you what you are doin' walkin' down Main Street wearin' nothin' but your gunbelt and boots?""Well Sheriff, it's a long story.""I ain't going nowhere", said the Sheriff."Well Sheriff, a couple hours ago I ran into Mary Lou in the saloon. We had ourselves a couple of drinks and then we started to feelin' kinda frisky and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out to the barn?' So we did. Then we started getting real close and cuddin' and smoochin' and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out back and go up to the top of the hill.' So we did." He continued,"We started cuddlin' and smoochin' some more and the next thing I know, Mary Lou had taken off all her clothes and she suggested that I do the same. So I did, all except my gunbelt and boots. then Mary Lou laid down on the ground and spread he Read more:Billy
Busy, Busy Day 2007-05-04 04:24:00 Sorry for my not being around today. I ended up running around most of the day and that left very little time for visiting. Then I agreed to do the Q and A given by Sarge Charlie which left -0- time for visiting!I will catch up tomorrow, I promise ♥ ♥We are having a new computer built for us and should have it by mid-week next week. Vista with all the goodies. So, I will be working long and hard getting things from this computer over to the new one.
Questions from Sarge Charlie 2007-05-04 03:51:00 I agreed to do a Q & A over at Sarge Charlie
's, which is one of my many daily stops. Sarge served in Viet Nam and has some very strong opinions concerning our current conflict in the Middle East as well as our politico's here at home. If you are anti-America you won't care for his site, but if you love America then you need to visit Sarge Charlie!In all fairness Sarge Charlie got some help with the questions from his lovely wife Empress Bee of the High Sea. If you like cruising on the big ships and blonde jokes then you need to visit Empress Bee.~~The Questions~~1. Realizing you are a true conservative, how difficult is it to live in a blue state with a purple governor?Purple my ass. Our governor may say he's a republican, but he acts like every other democrat. Don't get me started on this s**thole called California...Okay let me just say this... a picture is worth a thousand words and this photograph sums it up very well.Keep in mind I'm a REPUBLICAN! Go ahead and click on the
♥ A Guy and His Pet Monkey ♥ 2007-05-03 03:12:00 A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgu
Bonerol 2007-05-01 20:47:00 Public Service Announcement
Manic Monday #6 Silent/Silence 2007-05-01 03:04:00 The Silent
TreatmentA man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.The Vow of SilenceA guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years.After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his Read more:Manic
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Blogger's Choice Awards 2007-04-27 17:30:00 Sticky Post -Scroll down for newer posts. I've been nominated for "Best Humor Blog"!Best Humor Blog - Comedy+ @ Comedy PlusClick on my link to vote!Some of my blogging buddies have been nominated forvarious awards over at Blogger
's ChoiceAwards
too.Best Animal Blogger - Morgan @ Purrchance to DreamBest Photography Blog - Ryan @ Ryan's CalamityBest Blog of All Time - Claire @ A Little Piece of MeBest Blog About Stuff - Skittles @ Skittles Place Best Parenting Blog - Tish @ CrAzY Working Mom Hottest Mommy Blogger - Kia @ The Buzz QueenBest Blog Design - Linda @ Are We There Yet?Best Celebrity Blogger - Ross @ The Ross BlogBest Political Blog - Sgt. Dub @ SgtDubBest Blog About Stuff - Sgt. Dub @ SgtDubBest Blog of All Time - Sgt. Dub @ SgtDubBest Food Blog - Mags @ Ms Maggie Moo Talks 2 UClick on any link you wish to view or vote for and it will take you directly to that nomination. So, head on over to the Blogger's Choice Awards and vote for us. Sign-up is easy and it's FREE!
Here Now in California 2007-05-16 18:05:00 While making my rounds for Wordless Wednesday I dropped by CrAzY Working Mom and found this picture. I stole it immediately! I live in California
and I constantly call it Mexifornia. Well, this picture says it all. Thank you Tish!
The Tomato Garden 2007-05-15 17:22:00 An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.Dear Vincent,I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.Love, DadA few days later he received a letter from his son.Dear Dad,Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the bodies.Love, VinnieAt 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.That same day the old man received another letter from his son.Dear Dad,Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances Read more:Garden
, Tomato
Thought for the day... 2007-05-15 02:36:00 Friends..Friends are like butt cheeks.Crap might separate them,But they always come back together.
The Thinking Bloggers Award 2007-05-15 00:00:00 Coach over at “Can’t Coach That” has included me in a list of five “Thinking Bloggers Award
”. If you haven’t visited the Coach you need to take a look see. It is one of my regular stops everyday. I don’t think I am very original for the most part, jokes are things that just circulate around the Internet, but once in a blue moon I do something original.It is called '5 Blogs That Make Me Think' and I am tagging the following bloggers: Claire @ A Little Piece Of Me Morgen @ It’s A Blog Eat Blog World Steven @ Get Your Blog On! Michele @ The Rocky Mountain Retreat Lyn @ Lynda’s Loft Congratulations, you won the Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging. I thought it would be appropriate to include them with the meme.The participation rules are simple: If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think, Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin
Technorati Lovin' 2007-05-24 03:37:00 Request from my regulars or anyone else who happens by.Yesterday and today I added everyone in my "Link Love" to "my favorites" in Technorati
. I am asking if you would do the same. I'm looking for a lot of link love! Just click on the picture above and it will take you to my link. Thanks in advance to those that decide to participate.
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