Owner: Comedy Plus URL:http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sun, 13 May 2007 16:07:58 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Life is too serious and I prefer to just laugh about anything and everything. Very little is sacred to me, I mean very little. If you like poking fun at men, women, kids, blondes, idiots, and old people then you have come to the right place... Site statistics:Click here
Eating Out Meme 2007-05-21 17:12:00 I was tagged by Steven @ Get Your Blog On! with the eating out meme. These are the rules:1. Link to the name of the person who tagged you.2. Include the state and country you're in.3. List your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location (locally).4. Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/state) and let them know they've been tagged.I don't eat out very often since my husband cooks so well, but I do enjoy going out on occasion. I live in the central valley of California in the worst place in America to live (Modesto). It used to be the car-theft capital, but we moved from the 1st place spot. Having said that here are my five favorite places to dine:1. Hazel's Elegant Dining - Italian2. Angelini's - Italian3. The Elegant Bull - Portuguese and Italian4. Skewers - Mediterranean Dining5. Modesto Sukiyaki - JapaneseI tag the first five people that wants to participate...
Alexa Link Lovin' 2007-05-21 15:30:00 Coach over at Can't Coach That tagged me for an Alexa
rank link love. Now I have been very interested in getting my rakings higher as I've watched folks that I visit daily get better and better rankings. So, I'm game and am curious to see what happens. My current ranking in Alexa is 438,338.~Start Copying Here~Rules:Put anything you like above this list - Chit Chat, talkies, introduce what this is. Start copying on the "~Start Copying Here~" and copy all the things listed without removing the links (Of course, the train would be no use without those links) Move all the sites labeled "Newcomers" to the list labeled "Oldies". Add 5 sites that you want to include in the train and make their "Visit My Site" link like this: http://redirect.alexa.com/redirect?criticalassumption.blogspot.com/ then invite them to join the train. Visit all the listed sites using the Visit My Site link. (That's not much work! Remember, if you plant good seeds they will also grow good) and
For Men Only 2007-05-24 18:15:00 This is for the enjoyment of my male readers. If you are into women that is. This is an "X" rated performance. You have been warned. This will make you laugh in spots, but it is ADULT material. Enjoy guys! Where Does She Put It?
The Priest, Doctor and the Lawyer 2007-05-24 10:40:00 An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me."At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, "I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.""Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000."The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000." Read more:Priest
, Doctor
, Lawyer
Because I Care... 2007-05-23 18:51:00 It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water (tap) each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces. Body waste.In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling or filtering and/or fermenting.WATER = PoopWINE = HEALTHHence: It is better to drink wine and talk stupid than to drink water and be full of shit.There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I am doing it as a public service.
The Southern Way from My Readers... 2007-05-22 13:03:00 This post is for those that wish to add to my earlier post, "The Southern
Way". Feel free to leave your additions on the original post and I'll add them here. Mz. Jackson over at Coffee with Mz. Jackson added the following:Here's another threat, courtesy of my redneck-Marine-Corps-Viet-Nam-Vet-Baptist-Preacher daddy: "I'm going to kick your butt so far up between your shoulder blades,you'll have to unbutton your shirt to wipe!"We also say around here:Ugly as a homemade fence.Cute as a bug's ear.And that bless his/heart thing is just down right standard around these parts. Somehow it just doesn't seem as catty when you're blessing somebody!Shelly over at This Eclectic Life added these. I really like the first one :)"It's as hot as honeymoon sheets."You can be as busy as "a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest.""He's so ugly that when he was born, the doctor slapped his mother."And, always remember that if you don't want to say, "bless her heart" with your insult, you can s
Emergency Medical Services (EMS) Week 2007-05-22 10:04:00 Washington, DC-The American College of Emergency
Physicians (ACEP) today announced that the 34th annual Emergency Medical Services
(EMS) Week will be celebrated throughout the nation May 20-26, 2007. The event brings together local communities and medical personnel to publicize safety and honor the dedication of those who provide the day-to-day lifesaving services on the medical "front line."National EMS Week will feature hundreds of grassroots activities coast-to-coast that will be planned around this year's theme, "Extraordinary People, Extraordinary Service," which exemplifies the excellent services provided every day, under any circumstances by the 750,000 EMS providers who serve their communities.
The Southern Way 2007-05-22 09:18:00 Exclamations:"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!""Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."Threats:"I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtastyle.""This'll jar your preserves.""Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya!"Good Things/Compliments:"Cute as a sack full of puppies.""If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.""Gooder than grits."The Weather:"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.""It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."Descriptions:A bothersome person is, "like a booger that you can't thump off."When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats.""He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin."A hectic schedule keeps you, "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."Insults:"She's uglier than homemade soap.""Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up o Read more:Southern
The Puddle... 2007-05-31 09:01:00 A brunette, red head and blonde walk into an elevator with a puddle of white liquid on the floor.The brunette looks at it and states quite matter of factly "it looks like cum".The red head puts her face closer to the puddle breathes in and says quite frankly "it smells like cum".The blonde sticks her finger in it touches it to her tongue and says "well, it's nobody from this building." Read more:Puddle
Only in America 2007-05-29 11:54:00 Only in America
...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance...Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink...Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke...Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters... Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage...Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place...Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight...Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures"...
Tagged - Five Faves 2007-05-29 11:31:00 Barb over at Skittles Place tagged me with the Five Faves meme.Here are the rules:Link to the name of the person who tagged you. Include the state and country you’re in. List your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location (locally). Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged. I don't eat out very often since my husband cooks so well, but I do enjoy going out on occasion. I live in the central valley of California in the worst place in America to live (Modesto). It used to be the car-theft capital, but we moved from the 1st place spot. Having said that here are my five favorite places to dine:1. Hazel's Elegant Dining - Italian2. Angelini's - Italian3. The Elegant Bull - Portuguese and Italian4. Skewers - Mediterranean Dining5. Modesto Sukiyaki - JapaneseI tag the first five people that wants to participate... Read more:Tagged
Manic Monday #10 - Red 2007-05-28 16:38:00 Manic Monday
Participants1. And Miles To Go...2. empress bee (of the high sea)3. Sanni4. Jamie5. Gattina6. Crazy Working Mom7. Shaz@UsDanes8. Lizza9. Mz. Jackson10. Claire Rachael Pitt11. Desert SongbirdLearn more about Manic Monday
here.View More Manic Monday ParticipantsPowered by... Mister Linky's Magical Widgets. Read more:Manic
The Funeral of I Can't 2007-06-01 11:22:00 For an inspirational read please visit BLAST FROM THE PAST! The Funeral
of I CAN'T over at Dixie's Heart & Soul. Everyone in the world should read this post. Excellent!
The Wren's Nest 2007-06-01 08:40:00 I want to share a wonderful shopping experience that exceeded my expectations. Yes, I'm talking about our pal ♥ Morgen ♥ over at It's A Blog Eat Blog World, and the owner of The Wren's Nest. It all started with Amazing Gracie's order then there were several others that escape me at the moment. Gracie's issue was supporting a fellow/local blogger and that she was very pleased with her purchase. I want to take that a step further and talk about service.So, what is customer service in retail? There are a couple things that come to mind for me: A welcoming environment and the way I am treated. From the order to delivery Morgen is making sure things are happening. My first order was a neat hummingbird feeder. It was georgous on his site and drop dead georgous when it arrived a few days later. It was so neat I ordered two more immediately.Here's a funny story. My husband works outside a lot and has very dry, rough hands. Morgen had sent a sample of Badger Balm in my order, but my
God Saw... 2007-06-01 08:35:00 God saw you hungry and created Subway, Chocolate, and Crab Legs.He saw you thirsty and created Coke, Juice, & Coffee.GOD saw you in the dark and created Light.GOD saw you without a good looking, adorable, friend... so He created ME.See you Sunday! :)
Dona Nobis Pacem 2007-06-06 21:00:00 Here are some quotes by my hero Mahatma Gandhi that speak volumes:The pure love of one person can offset the hatred of thousands.An eye for an eye and pretty soon the whole world will be blind.You must be the change you wish to see in the world.An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody will see it.Power is of two kinds: One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear of punishment. Read more:Dona Nobis Pacem
Sylvester and Tweety 2007-06-04 20:31:00 Watch this until Sylvester
catches Tweety. (wait for it. It's worth it)... After Tweety is caught, click the "Read More" button.This was an idiot test. How long did you watch?0-2 seconds -- there's hope for you.2-5 seconds -- having a bad day?5-10 seconds -- are you maybe just a slow reader?10-20 seconds -- remedial classes are nothing to be ashamed of.20-30 seconds -- it is recommended that you don't breed.30 sec - 1 min -- you probably can't read this anyway. So why bother?1-2 min -- the equivalent of the average house plant.2-5 min -- Good afternoon Jessica Simpson.5 min -1 hr -- Dead people score in this range.1hr plus -- Congratulations. You have a negative IQ. To find out what your prize is, watch bugs until he finishes his carrot...HEY, DON'T BLAME ME...YOU KNOW SYLVESTER NEVER CATCHES TWEETY.
Tagged by Mz. Jackson 2007-06-03 20:30:00 And here's a tag I received from Mz. Jackson
at Coffee with Mz. Jackson...Answer each question with just one word. (It's harder than it looks!)1. Where is your cell phone? Kitchen2. Relationship? Hot3. Your hair? Blonde4. Work? Never5. Your sister? Debbie6. Your favorite thing? Boating7. Your dream last night? None8. Your favorite drink? Champagne9. Your dream car? Mercedes10. The room you’re in? Messy11. Your shoes? Comfy12. Your fears? Spiders13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Wiser14. Who did you hang out with this weekend? Husband15. What you’re not good at? Statistics16. Muffin? Blueberry17. One of your wish list items? Health18. Where you grew up? Oregon19. The last thing you did? Dishes20. What are you wearing? Shorts21. What aren’t you wearing? Jewelry22. Your pet? Bit23. Your computer? Acer24. Your life? Relaxing25. Your mood? Tranquil26. Missing? Mother27. What are you thinking about right now? Cocktails28. Your car? Classy29. Your kitchen? Awesome30. Your summer Read more:Tagged
Linky Love... 2007-06-08 11:35:00 If you are going to miss me this weekend while I'm off boating please leave your link. I will love you for it. Have a great weekend everyone.
Time to Celebrate!!! 2007-06-08 11:28:00 Sgt. Dub will be back home with his family Sunday. Read Mrs. Dub's post HERE. Yippee!!! Read more:Celebrate
AP - Monica Lewinsky 2007-06-08 10:22:00 AP - Monica
Lewinsky, in a statement released today, countered President Clinton's firm denial:"I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach it anymore. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face.
Zippers 2007-06-07 10:08:00 Everything you wanted to know about zippers, but were afraid to ask.Hop on over to Michele's at The Rocky Mountain Retreat for an 'how to' on letting someone know their barn door is open...I was laughing so hard I was crying.
The USRSF 2007-06-07 08:50:00 The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).These GEORGIA boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:1. The season opened today.2. There is no limit.3. They taste just like chicken.4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.
The Lawyer 2007-06-12 18:14:00 One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there."NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same.Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling, "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed."You're a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?!?!" the lawyer asked."HA! You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said.The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed, "MY ROLEX!" ♥ ♥ ♥ Done with Jury duty today, but have to go back tomorrow at 1315 hours. This is a criminal trial that is supposed to last un Read more:Lawyer
Jury Duty 2007-06-11 20:36:00 Tomorrow at 0900 I report for Jury Duty... I am in group 0018 and will be returning to the courthouse for the first time since I retired. This time I cannot go through the backdoor with my key (don't have that anymore). I have to wait in line with everyone else to go through the metal detectors. They won't put me on a criminal case, but they could put me on a civil case and I could be tied up for weeks. So, if you don't see me around much tomorrow you'll know where I'll be! Sigh...
Recommend Site To A Friend
