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Easter Codfish and Why Goop Rules
2007-05-13 09:00:11
My mother’s side of the family has a culinary tradition on the Easter holiday that I’ve not seen anywhere else before, so I thought I’d go and describe it here for anyone else who might be curious; it’s funny how you have these traditions and it isn’t until you talk with someone else that you find out that you’re one of the only people in the world that does this sort of thing. You then spend a lot of time wondering if your family is really screwed up or if you have something terribly neat. I think we kinda ride the fence on this one. The tradition is called colloquially, “codfish”, although it should be properly termed as “codfish patties with sauce”. However, even this doesn’t approach a very clear definition, since the patties are mostly NOT codfish and the sauce is…well, sauce. The preparation usually starts anywhere from a day to two days before with the first thing being the soaking of the cod. We us
Read more: Rules

Alzheimeric Servers
2007-05-12 09:00:47
What if everything you say, do, write about, read, email, took pictures of, and are interested in was stored forever, accessible for an infinite time into the future, eventually to be re-discovered and re-read by someone, somewhere, sometime? Sounds rather Big Brotherish, doesn’t it? And yet, this is exactly what is happening in today’s world, says Viktor Mayer-Schönberger of Harvard University. An Associate Professor of Public Policy, he believes that with the massive databases sported by websites such as Google, Facebook, and MySpace, as well as the other corporate databases, file servers, and scads of personal storage space, we face a future where a person’s entire life history — at least, that recorded by computers — will forever be a part of the searchable and readable past. With devices such as cellphones, PDAs, and other “life” devices being constantly used by people to keep track of each other and schedules, more and more of our dai


Your Local Work-Sponsored Health Nazi
2007-05-11 09:00:32
A coworker of mine sent me this article from BusinessWeek some time ago and have been wanting to comment on it for some time, so I’m going to lay out some thoughts and see what you all think. For the lazy, the article is best summarized as a look into the oddities of the corporate health plan of Scott’s Miracle-Gro Company in Marysville, OH. This company has completely changed the normal paradigm of a corporate health plan being just another benefit provided by the business to its employees and has instead taken and active and proactive approach to their employees’ health, up to and including termination. In other words, they are very passionate (like Hannibal Lector passionate) about keeping their employees healthy, and if the worker doesn’t comply with their urgings and recommendations — well, don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. They are tobacco-free and count it as one of the ‘drugs’ on their required drug tests;
Read more: Local , Health

Press Release
2007-05-14 01:58:44
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE   JOINT UPCOMING PRODUCT RELEASE ANNOUNCED SHEFFIELD, IA - May 13, 2007 — The companies of Nathan LLC and Yolanda Ltd announced today that they have joined forces on a new genetic product due to be released to the public somewhere around November 9th, 2007. The joint effort, codenamed, “Human 2.0″, combines the proprietary products of both companies into a single, self-contained package. As of this press release, the project has been underway for approximately 14 weeks and progress is going well. “We’re quite pleased with how things are going,” stated Nathan, owner and CEO of Nathan LLC. “We had some concerns in the beginning about quality assurance and whether or not this collaboration will work, but we’ve done quite a few tests and have the assurance of our project manager that things are on schedule as planned.” When asked about the design of the project, Yolanda, owner and CEO of Yolanda Ltd, said, &l
Read more: Press , Release , Press Release

Grass Cats Blowing Out Toilet Herbs
2007-05-19 06:25:53
(How’s that for an interesting and foreshadowing title? Stephen King, eat your heart out.) A bit of a rundown of various random things on my mind and that for which I have photographic evidence: My Cat is on Grass Many moons ago when my mother-in-law was over here visiting from Australia, she bought my cat, Leo, a “cat grass” kit from Wal*Mart. Now, I’ve never seen anything like this before, but it’s a self-contained kit to grow…waaaaaaait for it…GRASS. Yeah, I know. But apparently it’s supposed to be “cat friendly” grass that they’ll want and desire to eat. And what’s funnier is that he actually does like to eat it — so much that he horked it all over the kitchen floor the other day and then looked up at me as if to say, “Well, it was nice, but the bleu cheese dressing was a bit tangy.” I trimmed it tonight, thinking that perhaps it had grown a bit hairy, and since we put it up on the c
Read more: Toilet , Herbs

Bigger, Wider, and Uncouth
2007-05-18 04:43:33
I gave up this afternoon and bought myself a new monitor, as this one is clearly on its way out. I’ve had my current home monitor for a long time — probably at least February of 2001, so it’s served me very well for over 6 years. It’s a Samsung SyncMaster 955DF PerfectFlat 19″ monitor, and I’ve been terribly happy with it this far. However, it must be starting to get old, as the display is vibrating when I’m in 1024×768 mode and if I try cranking it up any higher, it gets very fuzzy to the point where my wife wonders how I even look at it. That sort of thing I’m not willing to put up with for very long, and today I realized that I hate sitting at my monitor now because it kills my eyes to do so. So, I went to Amazon and spent a gift certificate and bought myself a Samsung SyncMaster 941BW 19″ LCD Monitor for just over $200 with expediated shipping. I didn’t adopt LCD technology when it first came out, because it was


Two for Taboo
2007-05-20 09:00:31
I love things that violate the norm of society and challenge the status quo of thinking. I think it’s refreshing to constantly re-examine our standards, ways of thinking, and justifications for why something is right or wrong. So, while I do not usually partake of ABC’s 20/20 “investigative” reporting show (although Elizabeth Vargas is cute enough to whip anyone into a verbal frenzy), I found their recent episodes on Taboo s in America to be quite interesting. As you might suspect, I have a few reactions and commentary (I know, I know…you’re shocked. My sympathies.) To Speak the Impossible Speech… The first segment dealt with the saying of such taboo words like, “nigger”, on American public media and by Caucasian Americans in particular. There was several differing viewpoints presented, but the overall feeling was that the word still carries with it a lot of baggage from its original meanings and use when African Americans w


Voting Republican Never Looked So Good
2007-05-23 17:33:33
Who is Ron Paul and why in the hell is he a Republican ? I just discovered this guy today, and so far, I’m incredibly impressed and I haven’t the faintest idea why he’s trying to run on a Republican ticket. I don’t agree with 100% of what he preaches, but there’s some terribly refreshing ideas coming out of his mouth and I find myself nodding a hell of a lot more than frowning, which given the current state of affairs lately is somewhat of a miracle in and of itself. I am not a Republican. Most people know this. I’d be happy to take you out into the backyard and beat you with a hose for calling me one, but this guy makes me want to vote for one. He is smart, articulate, straightforward, and answers questions he is asked! He’s the first guy I’ve heard speak out violently against the war in Iraq. He’s not mincing words, either — he’s saying, “Bring the troops home, right away.” No bull. He voted again
Read more: Voting

Java Jitters
2007-05-31 12:11:34
I have a love/hate relationship with coffee. What is it about this dark, bitter liquid that is so appealing that we humans see fit to dump it down our throats daily and even go so far as to create meccas of worship where the entire theme centers around crafting and enjoying said hot beverage? Starbucks had might as well be renamed “The Universalist Church of the Roasted Bean”. Where else can you get steaming-hot acceptance and salvation ground and shot into a mug, complete with toppings, for $3.95? Even the wine at the Last Supper had to be pricier and didn’t perk you up nearly as much (given the sleepiness at Gethsemane). I am blessed with the stomach of a jellyfish thanks to my mother’s side of the family which means, essentially, that drinking coffee on a regular basis when I am under any sort of stress, lack of sleep, or other pressure renders it into a self-mutilating battlefield of terror upon slugging down a cup of brew. I can partake of the feast


Asshole Day
2007-05-30 17:03:53
Every car driver is allowed to declare one day a week as, “Asshole Day”, when the flowers bloom, the sun shines, and idiots take to the streets in droves with the sole purposes of annoying, frustrating, and/or scaring the hell out of you. Guess what today is? I shot to Hampton today over my lunch hour so I could pick up a present for my wife, a set of personalized license plates for her car that read, “IMAUSIE”. They finally came in although I ordered them ages ago when I renewed both cars’ registrations, but since you have to take in the old plates to get the new ones, I headed in to the courthouse to exchange. The ride INTO Hampton was pretty nice, and the service at the courthouse was fast and friendly and, despite the long line at Subway, I still got a sandwich in a reasonable amount of time and back on the road. But that’s when the sky clouded over. The first asshole was the truck with two men gawking at Hampton. Now, being a small town of


Memorial Variance
2007-05-28 12:44:02
Welcome to Memorial Day, the American holiday that supposedly celebrates the sacrifices of the men and women who have served our country in the various armed forces. What are you doing to commemorate this day? You’re enjoying the day off from work, aren’t you? Don’t lie to the screen — the Screen Sees All. Are you honouring veterans with potato salad and watermelon? Did you light the grill to thank a soldier? In Weber We Trust While I do reflect on those who have served our country on this day, I prefer to think of it in levels of honour, not as a blanket thankfulness. Most people classifiy this day (and Veteran’s Day) as a day to thank any serviceperson who has ever been a part of one of the armed organizations. I think this is unfair and, frankly, rude to some of those who have given more than others. Level 4 - Very Little Honour: These are the folks who voluntarily chose to go into the armed forces as either a career choice or because they &


Two for Taboo
2007-05-20 02:00:31
I love things that violate the norm of society and challenge the status quo of thinking. I think it’s refreshing to constantly re-examine our standards, ways of thinking, and justifications for why something is right or wrong. So, while I do not usually partake of ABC’s 20/20 “investigative” reporting show (although Elizabeth Vargas is cute enough to whip anyone into a verbal frenzy), I found their recent episodes on Taboo s in America to be quite interesting. As you might suspect, I have a few reactions and commentary (I know, I know…you’re shocked. My sympathies.) To Speak the Impossible Speech… The first segment dealt with the saying of such taboo words like, “nigger”, on American public media and by Caucasian Americans in particular. There was several differing viewpoints presented, but the overall feeling was that the word still carries with it a lot of baggage from its original meanings and use when African Americans w


Grass Cats Blowing Out Toilet Herbs
2007-05-18 23:25:53
(How’s that for an interesting and foreshadowing title? Stephen King, eat your heart out.) A bit of a rundown of various random things on my mind and that for which I have photographic evidence: My Cat is on Grass Many moons ago when my mother-in-law was over here visiting from Australia, she bought my cat, Leo, a “cat grass” kit from Wal*Mart. Now, I’ve never seen anything like this before, but it’s a self-contained kit to grow…waaaaaaait for it…GRASS. Yeah, I know. But apparently it’s supposed to be “cat friendly” grass that they’ll want and desire to eat. And what’s funnier is that he actually does like to eat it — so much that he horked it all over the kitchen floor the other day and then looked up at me as if to say, “Well, it was nice, but the bleu cheese dressing was a bit tangy.” I trimmed it tonight, thinking that perhaps it had grown a bit hairy, and since we put it up on the c
Read more: Toilet , Herbs

Bigger, Wider, and Uncouth
2007-05-17 21:43:33
I gave up this afternoon and bought myself a new monitor, as this one is clearly on its way out. I’ve had my current home monitor for a long time — probably at least February of 2001, so it’s served me very well for over 6 years. It’s a Samsung SyncMaster 955DF PerfectFlat 19″ monitor, and I’ve been terribly happy with it this far. However, it must be starting to get old, as the display is vibrating when I’m in 1024×768 mode and if I try cranking it up any higher, it gets very fuzzy to the point where my wife wonders how I even look at it. That sort of thing I’m not willing to put up with for very long, and today I realized that I hate sitting at my monitor now because it kills my eyes to do so. So, I went to Amazon and spent a gift certificate and bought myself a Samsung SyncMaster 941BW 19″ LCD Monitor for just over $200 with expediated shipping. I didn’t adopt LCD technology when it first came out, because it was


Press Release
2007-05-13 18:58:44
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE   JOINT UPCOMING PRODUCT RELEASE ANNOUNCED SHEFFIELD, IA - May 13, 2007 — The companies of Nathan LLC and Yolanda Ltd announced today that they have joined forces on a new genetic product due to be released to the public somewhere around November 9th, 2007. The joint effort, codenamed, “Human 2.0″, combines the proprietary products of both companies into a single, self-contained package. As of this press release, the project has been underway for approximately 14 weeks and progress is going well. “We’re quite pleased with how things are going,” stated Nathan, owner and CEO of Nathan LLC. “We had some concerns in the beginning about quality assurance and whether or not this collaboration will work, but we’ve done quite a few tests and have the assurance of our project manager that things are on schedule as planned.” When asked about the design of the project, Yolanda, owner and CEO of Yolanda Ltd, said, &l
Read more: Press , Release , Press Release

Easter Codfish and Why Goop Rules
2007-05-13 02:00:11
My mother’s side of the family has a culinary tradition on the Easter holiday that I’ve not seen anywhere else before, so I thought I’d go and describe it here for anyone else who might be curious; it’s funny how you have these traditions and it isn’t until you talk with someone else that you find out that you’re one of the only people in the world that does this sort of thing. You then spend a lot of time wondering if your family is really screwed up or if you have something terribly neat. I think we kinda ride the fence on this one. The tradition is called colloquially, “codfish”, although it should be properly termed as “codfish patties with sauce”. However, even this doesn’t approach a very clear definition, since the patties are mostly NOT codfish and the sauce is…well, sauce. The preparation usually starts anywhere from a day to two days before with the first thing being the soaking of the cod. We us
Read more: Rules

Alzheimeric Servers
2007-05-12 02:00:47
What if everything you say, do, write about, read, email, took pictures of, and are interested in was stored forever, accessible for an infinite time into the future, eventually to be re-discovered and re-read by someone, somewhere, sometime? Sounds rather Big Brotherish, doesn’t it? And yet, this is exactly what is happening in today’s world, says Viktor Mayer-Schönberger of Harvard University. An Associate Professor of Public Policy, he believes that with the massive databases sported by websites such as Google, Facebook, and MySpace, as well as the other corporate databases, file servers, and scads of personal storage space, we face a future where a person’s entire life history — at least, that recorded by computers — will forever be a part of the searchable and readable past. With devices such as cellphones, PDAs, and other “life” devices being constantly used by people to keep track of each other and schedules, more and more of our dai


Your Local Work-Sponsored Health Nazi
2007-05-11 02:00:32
A coworker of mine sent me this article from BusinessWeek some time ago and have been wanting to comment on it for some time, so I’m going to lay out some thoughts and see what you all think. For the lazy, the article is best summarized as a look into the oddities of the corporate health plan of Scott’s Miracle-Gro Company in Marysville, OH. This company has completely changed the normal paradigm of a corporate health plan being just another benefit provided by the business to its employees and has instead taken and active and proactive approach to their employees’ health, up to and including termination. In other words, they are very passionate (like Hannibal Lector passionate) about keeping their employees healthy, and if the worker doesn’t comply with their urgings and recommendations — well, don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. They are tobacco-free and count it as one of the ‘drugs’ on their required drug tests;
Read more: Local , Health

Arise, Ye Little Shoots
2007-05-10 00:46:19
What is it about growing and cultivating plants that gets our rocks off so much? I mean, really. There’s growing things all around us, but we humans take special interest in choosing certain plants to tend to and coddle and cause to yield. At least for the United States and other first-world countries, the need to grow our own plants doesn’t really extend to a matter of survival (farmers excepted), but yet we spend gazoogles of money each spring on “garden supplies” which range anywhere from a new hoe to some funky new poisonous chemical to rid our blossoming patch of an unwanted critter, insect, bacteria, fungus, bird, rodent, snail, cat, dog, or sneaky neighbor. Alas, I, too, fall under this spell each year and succumb to the calling of the “Garden Centre” at our local SomethingMart to browse amongst the aisles of green, my fingers lightly brushing the fronds like a delicate lover, seeking the best seeds and plants to garnish my little plot o
Read more: Arise

Geriatric Joyriding
2007-05-07 15:58:45
“Annoyed as hell” would be an accurate representation of my mood today on my noon hour drive home (all of 5 measly blocks). I’m fully of the opinion that Jan & Dean’s The Little Old Lady from Pasadena was a tongue-in-cheek absurdist piece about the bluehair population currently roaming our streets and wreaking havoc on everyone’s normal driving environment. Second only to drunk drivers, the extremely old folks still driving around town are seriously starting to screw up safety and responsibility on the road as well as make me pull out the profanity far more often than normal. And, frankly, Iowa driving license law is to blame. While I fully support the ability for all ages of people to possess a license to drive, the fact remains that it is a privilege, not a right, and the laws are too flexible for those who have reached their golden years and past, allowing them to continue to renew over and over with only passing a simple eye exam. I fully be
Read more: Geriatric

Mile-High Taps
2007-06-06 00:39:53
My barbershop chorus, The River City Chorus of Mason City, IA, through a joint project with the Minneapolis Commodores chorus, scored high enough last fall to earn a wildcard slot in the summer International Barbershop Harmony Society competition.   It is a feat achieved by very few of the many choruses in the world and certainly a once-in-a-lifetime experience for this particular chorus which usually does not score high enough to get into the contest.   The international contest this year is in Denver, CO, in July. Today I pulled out of going to the contest entirely, an event that further cements my feeling that most of life sucks. The reasons are numerous.   A large part is available finances (or lack thereof).    A part is the enormous responsibilities currently sitting on my shoulders trying to manage all of my jobs.   And a part is that I have lost the "spark" for the hobby almost entirely. I think the constant stres


Shivering Pixies
2007-06-05 00:48:49
Do you have mythical creatures doing the housework at your domicile? Some of you may have the Laundry Leprechaun.    Or the Dishwashing Dauphin.     Maybe the Toilet Medusa comes by on occasion and freshens the place up a bit? We have the Ice Fairy.   Her coming was foretold of old, and she blesses the holy ice trays with her succulent, frozen essence. While her glory is highly adored and her grace accepted liberally, her reliability is somewhat…variable. *creak*   *rattle*   *growl* "There’s no ice left!" "Didn’t the Ice Fairy come and bless us?" "No, she had the weekend off, thank you very much.  Plus, can’t she get some assistance around here on occasion?" "It’s the Ice Fairy, I try not to mess with her territory." "I suggest a coalition with the Fairy the next time or you’ll both find yourselves on ice." "Isn’t that
Read more: Shivering , Pixies

Insert Interesting Musing Here
2007-06-12 18:02:46
Wow, am I having a long run of writer’s block. The problem with writing a blog on any sort of regular basis is that it involves finding subjects that not only are interesting to you as a person, but to your audience as readers of your blog.   To avoid any sort of "snore factor", you must engage the part of your reader’s mind that usually keeps it locked onto the dancing picture box in the living room.   Without posting articles about celebrities getting nude, drunk, laid, or all three and without highbrowing it by talking about such subjects as boring political matters, fiscal policy, or why home mortgage refinancings are up — well, you have a limited amount of "standard" material to work from. I’ve lost you, haven’t I.   *shakes*   Wake up, dammit. Angelina Jolie incestual relationship with Britney Spears shaving anorexia from Brad Pitt’s low mortgage rate while sleeping with your ex-wife&r


Twitter-pated Privacy
2007-06-16 02:01:18
Jim Rapoza recently wrote about Twitter .com, an up-and-coming “Web 2.0″ site that allows people to make small “status” announcements about themselves and allow friends to view what is happening in their lives, either directly from the website or through SMS, IM, or 3rd-party applications. As he states, it is essentially, “..like a blog but without all of that, you know, actual content.” In short, it’s pretty much what t(w)eens are doing most of the day anyway, but in a more public, more centralized way. I signed up, of course, if nothing else just to see what it was like. I’m all about exploring new technologies and systems like this, even if it is pointless, stupid, or proves to be un-useful for me. So, you can see my “twittering” in the banner in this post. You can even sign up and add me as a friend if you really want to know all the stupid details of my life. Caveat emptor. follow tarsi210 at http://twitter.c
Read more: Privacy

Aussie Politics? Strouth!
2007-06-15 11:38:55
One of the suggestions I received was to write a bit about what I think in regard to Australian politics. I am here to officially announce that I have no freaking clue. But, in true Internet blogging fashion, I’ll happily open up my mouth and resemble the south end of a horse facing north in talking about something I have no knowledge of, if nothing else, to the amusement of my Australian compatriots. I know that Australians once “lost” a prime minister by, supposedly, drowning, although it’s really hard to say given the country’s penchant for overly-poisonous animals that enjoy human a la stick. I know that John Howard is most been a lapdog of the Bush administration and, despite most Australians I know thinking that Bush is nuttier than a squirrel pantry, the government still seems to back most things the US is doing in the world. I know that they have a Labor party that does very little baby-squirting but has a lot of people involved with it that do
Read more: Aussie

Somewhere a Rainbow
2007-06-13 16:36:49
There are few things in this world anymore than make me have hope for the human race, lift me up, or make me truly smile. Rarer still are the ones that bring tears to my eyes for the vision they give of a world that we’ll probably never live in but hopefully some of us aspire. This following video is one of those things, however. Maybe it’s my love of music, children, and the wonderful innocence they have, but this is beyond amazing. (there’s a short intro before you get to the meat of it, but it’s worth every second, trust me)
Read more: Rainbow , Somewhere

Unlimited Matrimony
2007-06-18 15:38:28
My wife doesn’t stop me from doing anything I want. If I want to go out tonight and boink a high school tart to a weak-kneed state, I’m welcome. If getting slobbery drunk and streaking naked down the streets of Sheffield is to my liking, more power to me. Gambling away the house on high-stakes poker isn’t even out of the question. In fact, my wife doesn’t stop me from doing anything at all. That’s not to say that some actions might not come with some consequences. I’m highly annoyed when I hear people talking about getting married and not being “allowed” to do anything; it’s like they are subjecting themselves to another parental figure who is there setting rules and boundaries and limits, and, “mommy said I’m not supposed to.” I think the ones that take this attitude with their marriage end up in a very bad place after awhile, because their entire premise for not doing something is because their spouse wo


Medium Talking
2007-06-20 18:22:22
We need a new term for the way many of us communicate these days. I propose, “Medium Talk”. It’s not small talk, because it is more than simply about the weather. It certainly isn’t a long, drawn out conversation, either, because we don’t get massively involved. It’s in between and I’ve found myself engaged in this sort of communicative banter more and more often of late. I think part of it has to do with the ways in which people are becoming more connected with various people in the world through such services as MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, IM programs, email, blogs, and so on. I now keep “in contact” with a wide range of people from my life, past and present, through such means, far more than I would have if I didn’t have these resources. And yet, if you notice, nobody contacts someone via these channels and has long, drawn-out conversations with them. At least, not very often. The most common type of contact is gr
Read more: Talking

The Tell-tale Heart
2007-06-19 17:56:51
Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. I hate heartbeats. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Some people find them comforting. I find them ominous. They fill me with Fear. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. When the song is over, the rhythm stops. The drummer lays down his sticks, the rat-a-tat ceases. Silence reigns. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu——thump thump. The drum of life. A beat of existence, hammering on, day after day, a marching cadence that must not stop lest it kill the spirit inside. Listening to hearts, whether it be my own or others, has always given me the chills, since one of my darkest fears is to hear it cease. Everyone knows what that means. Medical shows drill it into our bleeding skulls relentlessly, that tell-tale bleep-bleep-bleep-bleeeeeeeeeeee is enough to make anyone’s sanity drop trou and sprint for the hills. It is the wail of The End. The shriek of Destiny. I cringe every time I can’t avoid it, willing it
Read more: Heart

What a Good One
2007-06-25 01:02:21
When I was born, they looked at me and said, “What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.” And when you were born, they looked at you and said, “What a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl.” I think so much lately about my child’s future — what will they become? What will they do with life and its challenges and rewards? I know I will serve a vital yet short role in this and the best I can do is to direct, sustain, nurture, and advise; past that, they are still their own to direct in the long run. I find this concept a bit stranger than most, as other aspects of my life I have full control over and call the shots in all aspects, whereas with children, my control starts out absolute and slowly dwindles away over the years until there is but a faint influence, if any, and I am once again released to my own devices. We’ve got these chains that hang around our necks People want to strangle us with them before we take our
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