Raining
2007-05-06 18:23:55
Last night it was raining pretty hard. (Outside, I mean!) Today it was pretty nice when I first got up, had hoped to take a bike ride before heading out for errands but it’s clouding up faster than I’m waking up! The Villagers all shrugged at me when I apologized for us being unable to ride and feel the breeze in our face and fly around town. They’ve all created bikes and are riding them around the flag in the center of town (Internally, I mean!)
Talking about the weather is a nice safe topic, wouldn’t you say?
So now they’re considering work on a bike path. It’s not quite the same as getting to ride around the external roads, but I’m glad they aren’t upset with me. Today proves to be a good day if we managed to get ourselves ready enough to leave the house. I think our medication is still not quite worn off yet, feeling slightly hazy still this morning.
Today is a busy day. Hoping to stop off at a book store, on the internet it s
Read more: Raining
Night is tough
2007-05-06 07:11:54
It’s difficult to work up enough bravery to actually go to sleep. We take medication to help us get to sleep as well as stay asleep. It’s very scary to actually sleep, but it is worse to be awake for days and feel like we’re not quite on the planet. We’re safe, all the doors get double checked for locks. The windows too.
It’s just difficult. It’s hard to even explain it, but it’s scary even now. It’s been several years that we’ve been safe now. You’d think by now we’d be able to just plop down in bed and be asleep with ease. It’s easier these days now with the new medication we’re taking. The nightmares are less traumatic and less forceful. That was an added bonus, it was actually just to help us stay asleep so our joints and muscles have a chance to rest through the night due to other health problems.
It’s still scary to go to sleep.
Today my husband and I got groceries. I hate gr
Read more: Night
Afraid of Most Hugs
2007-05-05 20:22:17
I don’t know why though. It’s not as if we actually received hugs as a child. I think it’s not so much the hugging, but the actual presence of someone else standing that close. It unnerves me to think about it while I type this up, let alone proceed with the hug. That’s asking too much. The only person we feel safe in hugging is my husband. There are others we will allow to hug us, but not many. It is only because we have learned in recent years that these specific people aren’t out to hurt us, they hug because they care. I don’t quite understand it, but it is okay. Difficult, but I can get through it.
I remember one hug long ago though. I was in High School. It wasn’t a loving hug. It was a cruel, vicious attempt to hurt me. Spine breaking, squeezing, type hug. Calling it a “hug” is the wrong thing but it was the closest thing to a hug I’d ever gotten in that house. I was bruised from it, but that day the mom
Bloglines claim
2007-05-05 06:56:36
Just trying to claim
my blog through Bloglines
.
Adding code here: <!– ckey=”4D17C698″ –>
Edit heh.. oops trying again under the Code tab:
Edit again: Neat, it works! All claimed, now really off to read and sleep. It’s so easy to get sidetracked with all the nifty blog stuff we find online. No wonder so many blogs are so overwhelming to read, they add too much crap to it! Hopefully our blog doesn’t fill up with too much crap in the various side bars. Soooo much shiny stuff to add though. heh.
Night!
The Villagers, introducing three
2007-05-05 06:33:44
The number of villagers isn’t something I’m exactly sure of. The active villagers is about 12 I’d guess. I don’t really take census. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that it never really occurred to me to count them I guess. There are more who live in the upper floors, who aren’t active in the day to day life.
(more…)
The Forest
2007-05-04 20:13:35
We have an internal forest. Several forests actually. Today I’ll write about the one in particular. It’s the one I personally have the most knowledge about. The other forests are hazy, hard for me to see. One I can see clearly but I’ve never been up the hill into it.
(more…)
Read more: Forest
It’s late
2007-05-04 08:20:09
It’s dark outside but in the village it’s still slightly daylight. The storms passed without too much anxiety building up, so that is good.
(more…)
A little pocket of light
2007-05-04 01:02:22
Carrying around a flashlight
today is helping to ease the stress of the impending storm. It’s still threatening to rain, but so far it’s just light rumbles in the distance. Growing up, there were plenty of flashlights in the house. Knowing of my intense fear of the dark, I’d be shut up in a closet or stuck in the basement after the sun set. No light bulbs, no flash light.
(more…)
Read more: little
It’s going to storm
2007-05-03 20:28:09
Let’s talk about the weather. Isn’t that what people do when they don’t know one another and don’t really know what to say? So let’s talk about it. The storm is outside, not internally. Thought I should clarify that. While we do sometimes have rain showers internally, they’re intentional for the purpose of the flowers. I doubt we need to make it rain, but it makes several feel better. Like a cleansing, almost. It’s nice, sometimes it helps us sleep with the soft internal rain.
(more…)
We need to speak.
2007-05-03 09:39:41
This may be an impossible journey we’re attempting to set sail upon.
All we can do is try. Try hard, then try harder because we know there will be days of crushing feelings of failure.
I am me. I am one person from the outside. I am a village on the inside. I have what is known as Dissociative Identity Disorder, sometimes called Multiple Personality Disorder. Either way you like to call it is fine with us, DID or MPD. There has been long discussion, attempts in the past at blogging, but as of late it seems to be a general consensus within that it will be okay this time. We’ll take it slow, and try to not unbalance the delicate processes of our daily life.
I don’t expect this to be easy. It may not even be possible.
We discussed it and decided we don’t mind comments being made, as long as the comments are respectful. Right now I think they are set to moderated, I am not sure. Wordpress is something new to us. Blogging isn’t new to us at all, bu
Read more: speak
I don’t know them..
2007-05-09 04:45:47
Not very well, but I care about them.
One of the forums I visit regularly for the last 6 months or so, I can’t believe it’s been that long. I don’t feel like I really know anyone, but my sign-up date shows it’s been about 6 months. I feel bad that I don’t know anyone really well. I am afraid to get to know anyone I think. It’s the internet, I don’t know who they are. I’m wary, but they all do seem quite nice. There were a couple people who struck me as very odd and I was leery of them but other than that, they’ve been so nice there.
There’s sadness and happiness there. Today I see several who are hurting and sad in various ways. They are hurting either physically or emotionally for various reasons. I wish I could offer some words of wisdom, but I just don’t know what to say to help. I offer my prayers and hope that it is enough. I pray for all of them at the forums, usually as one big group asking
Harvest Moon DS
2007-05-08 21:05:39
We’re having a great time with the game. Might actually buy it. It’s a borrowed copy. Finally got a fishing pole. This game is really tough though. Managing time is not something I’m good at haha. I have one small plot of pumpkins, a couple trees that aren’t even growing, and I’ve been to the mine. I’m almost into Fall now I think and I’m still not getting anywhere. It’s much harder that the other HM games I’ve played. Or maybe I just don’t remember how it was to play them. Hmmmm.
I can’t figure out when to call the TV shopping. Maybe I’ll get that worked out this afternoon. Tough game, but very fun.
I found this site Ushi No Tane x6 for Harvest
Moon DS, plus there’s always the trusty GameFaqs writeups for just about any game out there, that link goes to the HMDS section. Though I found the Ushi site much more helpful, plus it’s cute as can be.
I’m nauseous from the sme
Read more: Harvest Moon
Find a good friend
2007-05-08 05:56:11
We have meetings every day internally. Sometimes they are short meetings for the purpose of choosing what to have for lunch later that day, what we’ll fix as far as tea or koolaid, or simply deciding if we’re going to record Invader Zim or just watch it as it airs.
Today we had a short but important meeting. Mostly to check in and make sure everyone is okay. Several are still hurting from a recent issue we had with two we thought were friend
s. We know a person who is very manipulative, conniving, condescending, and just rude. When he speaks (or types) he gives off the air that he is better than anyone who is in the same room with him, or better than anyone who dares taint his typed words with their unworthy eyes. Everything he says is said with intent to hurt or to boost his own ego, which in effect is the same thing isn’t it? It’s all about making him look better than anyone else.
This person was never really a friend. I only put up with his garbage bec
Bed Sheet Dye!
2007-05-08 00:32:35
I want to write but I’m just too tired to think of anything that formulates into something readable. Got a lot done today, at least physically I feel like I did. Thinking about what all got done and it doesn’t really seem like much after all hrm. It was a good bit though, it’s hard to get much done in one day due to other health problems we have.
Time to go rest a bit and then see about getting the laundry done. Folding it is another story, but at least getting it through the wash and dryer cycles would be good. Only one more load to do I think. Washed most of the blankets and sheets today. Turns out the one blue sheet that we’ve had for about three years still bleeds dye ARGH!! So the cream blanket is sort of greyish and gross looking. That is so irritating.
How long can one bed sheet bleed dye!? Apparently forever!
Well, most of the fabric for our latest sewing project is washed. Half is ironed now. The rest of the fabric is in the wash
Monday Madness #1
2007-05-07 22:47:38
This is my first time to join in on Monday
Madness
! This is for April 30th’s questions.
1. Currently, what television commercial is your least favorite?
The one for the YoGos candies. The narrator works up into a frenzy and it sets my nerves off haha
Or any Hardees commercial. What do they do, put the mic in the actors mouth!? GAG!
2. And which commercial is your most favorite?
I love the one with the little girl going “My BFF JILL!” and the mom argues about the cell bill. The kid is all “Oh Em Gee!” haha…
3. Of the sitcoms that are on during “prime time” how many do you watch on a regular basis? Please share.
I don’t think I watch any. Unless Crossing Jordan counts, I tape that one.
I think it’s high time I scope out the stations! I don’t know what’s fun to watch.
4. Is there a television series that you enjoy watching that is ending this season?
I hope none are ending, I watch Crossing Jordan, The Closer (
This was fun
2007-05-07 07:39:31
This was fun hehe. Found a fun button making site, actually I visited a couple different ones but this one was the one I ended up using. Some good options, easy and fun. About as creative as I can get when I’m this tired.
Are there borders on those still? I can’t seem to get rid of them in the preview. (Nevermind hehe, it’s only in the preview!)
3xThursday (meme)
2007-05-11 02:38:05
The question is:
Name and describe 3 things on your mind lately.
Is there any particular reason why you’re thinking about a particular thing?
Death (Family members are ill, lost one recently, losing another soon, pets are showing signs of age.)
Sewing (Have about 10 projects I want to do, not enough time each day!)
Gardening (Thinking about giving it another shot, maybe plant some peppermint and rosemary!)
Booking through Thursday (Meme)
2007-05-11 02:33:26
The question is - Where don’t you read??
In the car unless absolutely necessary. It makes me wanna hurl. So my husband and I accommodate that by getting audio books for trips!
I also don’t read while biking, however an audio book would be pretty awesome then too!
Read more: Booking
, Thursday
Too tired to write much
2007-05-11 02:22:17
I’m just way too worn out to write anything worth of being read today. Managed to get a short bike ride in today at least, which is nice. It was kind of tough riding up hill with the wind hitting me in the face though. It’s not like I’m the world’s best bike rider, nor is it a speedy style bike. The ride home was much easier.
Worked on some crafts, played Animal Crossing Wild World (opened my gates to cure a townie yet again, they get sick a lot), and goofed off hitting the Stumble! button a few times. I’m really liking Stumble! a lot. Found a ton of great sites. Some crafty stuff, fun game type sites, some recipe sites, sometimes it’s just a photo linked. It’s fun. Something easy to do when I’m too tired
to move.
Maybe I’ll go find some fun meme’s to fill out.
Funerals
2007-05-10 01:33:34
There is a possiblity that we may have to attend a funeral for a family member. Someone on my husband’s side of the family (obviously) is very ill. Death will be soon, we are told. We do not do well at funerals. No one does, I’d imagine. It is sheer terror for us though. Walking into a funeral home is nearly impossible, then you add in the fact that there’s coffins.. no no no…
no no..
can’t write anymore
Read more: Funerals
Kept busy today
2007-05-15 06:13:09
Despite the lack of sleep, still managed to get things done. Not a lot, but enough that I don’t feel like I slacked off all day. Washed and ironed a lot of fabric scraps today, pretty worn out from that. Have more to do, but might just put it all off till tomorrow.
Watched Futurama and Family Guy, always funny stuff.
The stuff we planted is doing good so far, it looks much better today than yesterday after we roughed it all up during planting.
We made it!
2007-05-14 06:26:12
The day is over. Although our day really doesn’t end until we go to bed, in times like this we consider the moment the clock ticks past midnight to be a new day. Therefore, the day is over! Now we can relax.
Today was actually quite nice, in all honesty. Slept horribly last night, so tonight should sleep well I hope. We bought some lovely flowers and herbs to plant, dug out some flower pots and had at it all afternoon. Dirt flinging, muddy fingernails, bugs. I could do without bugs while I’m out there. They can just inch away and come back after we go back inside, thanks.
Overall, we held up well. Our good friend emailed us a few times, as she always does each day and she loved the card we sent her. It was a pretty funny card, considering the selection was downright crappy. Heard from a couple other family members (good, trustworthy, safe ones!) and they really are so funny. Made us laugh a lot with their emails.
Didn’t do any crafty stuff today, too much
Trying to keep it together
2007-05-12 22:16:20
The recent funeral, the upcoming funeral, mother’s day, being sick, neighbor’s having a bonfire to burn off who knows what (I think old firewood I guess, I dunno.) it’s just not going well.
Lost a lot of time today and yesterday. Very stressed. The stress and anxiety is making me physically sick now too. Supposed to get things done today and can’t seem to get much done. One minute we’re watching something on tv, next minute.. it’s done ended and it’s two cartoons later. How am I supposed to get any sewing done!?
Not to mention laundry, dishes, mopping, gardening (won’t mind skipping that one, the air reeks of smoke ugh..)
Can’t breathe because of our lame neighbors doing whatever it is they’re doing. They are nice people, so am not worried about what they’re burning. Just irritated that they’re burning stuff on a windy day. We have intense fear of fire. It was a huge fire, another neighbor went
Read more: together
Pay Dirt by Rita Mae Brown
2007-05-17 07:19:40
This is the book we were reading this past week. It was really good. The usual mystery type setting, sneakiness, murder, this time there was a computer virus involved. Lover’s spats, arguments, discussions between the animals. You know, the usual. It was great. It was somewhat predictable I was thinking, but there is a twist at the end that was nice to see.
Read more: Brown
I blame sleep
2007-05-17 01:21:21
Or rather, the lack of it. My days are all off, one minute I think it’s Thursday so I call in a prescription so the doctor has time today or tomorrow to fill it hopefully. Under the assumption that Saturday is soon.
The next minute I vaguely remember asking what time we’re leaving in the morning to run errands. Thinking that today is Friday.
When my husband tells me that it’s Wednesday, I thought he was joking! Sure enough though, the TV channel thing says Wed. in the upper corner. Talk about throwing me off my thought process. I’m just tired I guess. Really stinking tired. I can’t sleep though, too much physical pain today too. Stupid joints really hurt bad.
Trying to suck it up, be tough, but it’s just not working. I’ll have to give in and take something for it. Keep telling myself it’ll pass, or worse yet.. it’ll increase and then I’ll just wait till then to take something for it all.
Still very confus
Half here
2007-05-16 08:05:00
Today I don’t feel quite right.
Like I’m only half focused. Which is probably about the truth. It’s late and I’m not sure where the day went. Got a little bit done but it just seems like the day vanished so fast. One moment it’s daylight, the next it’s dark. I feel.. off. Just not quite right.
Got some sleep last night. Maybe the stress is just catching up to me, I don’t know.
Feel like.. I don’t know. Like I’m being pulled in so many directions, that I can’t focus on anything. I want to write but I cannot find the words to express anything clearly. I wish I did not feel so afraid of what friends and family (safe family, the family I have now is very kind) afraid of what they would think if they knew I was multiple.. I just wish I could tell them, get it over with, and know beforehand that they’d be caring and supportive.
I feel guilty that I am not giving them the chance to hear the truth about me, like I&rsqu
Unconscious Mutterings Meme
2007-05-21 02:45:22
Thought I’d give this one a shot, found it at the MemeList (link is in sidebar) to the list and to the blog that runs this.
This was fun!
Coastguard :: Lighthouse
Buddies :: Cats
Nap :: Aggravation
Groan :: Crushing
Sitcom :: Seinfield
Reader :: Agatha Christie
Heroes :: Lame
Amazing :: Gardens
Woman :: Man
Don’t! :: Okay!
Read more: Unconscious
Made it through the day
2007-05-20 07:39:17
For some reason, several in the village are sad tonight. It’s been increasing through the day and getting worse tonight. I don’t know why, they won’t say why. It’s upsetting to everyone in the village, to not know what ot do to help.
I fixed some sugar free koolaid, sugar free tea, sugar free pudding (yeah, I like sugar free.. helps combat against the weight gain caused by medications if I don’t eat real sugar). Fixed them curly pasta, in a bit will slice up an apple or something to take nightly pills with. Still yet, they are sad. Thought maybe they were just being gloomy for no reason but it seems like there is a reason, they just won’t tell me.
I do not know what happened today or tomorrow that has them so sad. It’s not just one, it’s several and they’re all huddled together. My head hurts.
But today was okay actually. Got some fabric for a project, got a new hose sprayer thingy since the last one got shattered sometime
Close the toilet seat
2007-05-19 17:09:20
I’m already worn out and the day hasn’t even gotten started! I had forgotten how hard it is to curl hair up. Now I am remembering quite strongly just why this curler thing was sitting on the upper shelf, out of line of sight, and covered in a lot of dust. Yeaaah. I got stuck with finishing the hair out after they all realized how crappy it is to do these hot rollers.
These aren’t so bad, the last set we had would burn the fingers pretty nastily. These aren’t too bad, they’re lighter too. Only problem is the little clips don’t fit the rollers properly once there’s hair on them. What’s the point of that? If I had better clips, I think I could stand to do this.
Got a tip for you. Close
the toilet seat if you’re using rollers. Almost had myself a situation when a roller disengaged from my hair. Whew. Trust me, close the toilet seat.
My head is hot, they’re still cooling. This takes forever. Shortly I&rs
Script Frenzy
2007-05-23 18:48:44
It’s not all seriousness in my life. Feels like it sometimes, but it’s not. Been keeping an eye on Script Frenzy for a while now, it starts in June 2007. Who’s joining in?
I figure it can’t be that hard. It’s just 20 thousand words. In November we write 50 thousand (or more) words. So really, 20k? Pfft.. bring it on. So really, who’s joining? NaNoWriMo is fun (in November). I’m sure this will be too. There’s even a FAQ section (Writer’s Resources) at the top to show the format, plus there’s a download at the bottom to put into Word or OpenOffice (or whatever else it might work in) so you have the layout or.. whatever you call it for your text program.
I’m not sure what we’ll write yet. Still have a few days to come up with some ideas. Don’t delete words when you write for SF or NaNo, just make a note around the section you don’t like, hit enter a few times, and start again with
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