Doctors VS Guns
2006-10-22 23:28:00
Okay this has been around forever and ever. I still like it.
Doctors
and Guns================
Doctors:(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.(B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000.(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171. Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.
Guns:(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. Yes, that is 80 million.(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year all age groups is 1,500.(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.000188 Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!
Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic
Wierd News Round Up
2006-10-22 21:20:00
Bolt from Aircraft Crashes Through Oz Man's Home New images suggest there's no lunar ice after allGeller seeks "heir" on TV An alien abductee, an oil and gas company and Bela Lugosi's son battle it out in courtU.S.A. Adopts Tough New Space Policy Swarm-bots are go!U.S. Undertakers Admit to Selling Body Parts from CorpsesUnusual meteorite found in KansasAnother stingray stabs man in chest - USAScientists create invisibility cloakRussia probes reports Spanish king shot drunk bearTeenager catches piranha in pond Facial expressions 'hereditary' Enfield poltergeist investigator dies
Read more: Wierd
Jots and thoughts
2006-10-22 17:51:00
I adopted this little witchy frog from
http://www.spundreams.com
Shortcut through the pics there is tons of fun at this site should you choose to waste some time and take a peek.
I thought I would give some brief thoughts
on a couple of things. This week has been a nightmare. Something I have not identified set in last weekend.
(I suspect the flu visited early) Most of this last week was spent in a horizontal position, hoping and praying it would pass soon.
Uncle Mac is closing down his blog that was the frosting on my buns. I will miss him.I didn't comment much when I was reading blogs. The absolute outrage I felt only made me feel worse. When I read an article that some idiots are trying get/force the Amish to take food stamps. Then there was the Koran in a cat pan thing that is posed to be a hate crime? The double standard contributed to my headache. The list goes on and on.
The blog-o-sphere is filled with voices from everywhere. Some
Some Chuckles
2006-10-22 07:11:00
Subject: The zipper In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give >her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once >again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached >behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed h
Friday's Funnies
2006-10-20 14:28:00
A group of nuns were travelling in a car when it had a flat tire. Theygot out and attempted to change it, but being rather unworldly, they hadno idea how to go about it. Fortunately, a truck came along and thedriver offered to change it for them. They gratefully accepted.
As the trucker jacked up the car, it slipped from the jack."Son-of-a-bitch!" he screamed.
"Sir, that is inappropriate language," the eldest nun said. "Weunderstand you're upset, but must you use such language?"
"My apologies, Sister," he replied, and tried again. It slipped againand nearly smashed his fingers. "Son-of-a-bitch!" he screamed.
"Please, sir, we would ask you again to not use such language," the nunscolded. "If changing our tire is causing you to do so, perhaps it wouldbe best if you didn't help us."
"I'm sorry, Sister, but I get so upset that it just comes out," thetrucker replied.
"Well," said the nun, "say something else when you get upset. Saysomething like 'Dear Lord, help me'."
Once more,
Read more: Friday
, Funnies
How To Tell
2006-10-20 00:19:00
White Trash Wednesday Again
2006-10-18 11:48:00
The Good HusbandJack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending hiscompany's Christmas Party.Jack is not normally a drinker,but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol, so he had more than usual.He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass ofwater on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees hisclothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eyestaring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you y
Read more: White
, Trash
, Wednesday
, Again
, White Trash
Start with a chuckle
2006-10-17 12:37:00
Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.1st Hillbilly: "My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. "2nd Hillbilly: "Why is that stupid?"1st Hillbilly: "We ain't got no 'lectricity! "2nd Hillbilly: "That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one ofthem new fangled warshin' machines!"1st Hillbilly: "Why is that so stupid?"2nd Hillbilly: "Cause we ain't got no plummin'!"3rd Hillbilly: "That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wifesput together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer somechange, and I found 6 condoms in thar."1st and 2nd Hillbillies: "Well what's so dumb about that?"3rd Hillbilly: "She ain't got no pecker.~~~#~~~#~~#~~~#~~#
A blonde is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried. She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can't get to the hospital in time." The doctor replies, "Well, woman have been hav
Read more: Start
Click-N-Comment
2006-10-16 22:20:00
Laura Bush bought "Dubyah" a parrot forhis birthday. She told Dick Cheney, "Thebird is so smart! George has already taughthim to mispronounce over 200 words!""Wow, that's pretty impressive," Cheney said."But you realize that he just 'says' the words.He doesn't understand what they mean.""That's okay," Laura replied. "Neither does theparrot."@>`~~~~>,~~~A long time ago, Britain and France wereat war. During one battle, the Frenchcaptured an English colonel. They tookhim to their headquarters, and the Frenchgeneral began to question him. Finally, asan afterthought, the French general asked,"Why do you English officers all wear redcoats? Don't you know the red materialmakes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"In his bland English way, the officerinformed the general that the reasonEnglish officers wear red coats is so thatif they are shot the blood won't show, andthe men they are leading won't panic.And that is why, from that day to this, allFrench Army officers wear brown pant
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, Comment
Wierd & News
2006-10-15 15:41:00
Lightning exits woman's bottomAncient nuclear blasts and levitating stonesPink makes prisoners see redPope may decide to abolish limbo Boffins to create human-rabbit hybrid embryosMan paid to watch paint dry Cat parasite influences sex ratio in human babiesDrill Hole Begins Homeric QuestFirefighters fight fire-firefightersBig grey mouse first new mammal identified in yearsPlant eats mouse in French botanical gardenTime capsule to be beamed from Mexican pyramidAnother Thylacine Photo?Plaster cast leads to hunt for BigfootNew flame-coloured finch found~~~~~~~~~~~~~Low-Key Democrat Leads High-Stakes Senate RaceSocial Conservative Bob Casey Is an Unlikely Party HeroBy David FinkelWashington Post Staff WriterSunday, October 15, 2006; Page A04READING, Pa. -- For Bob Casey Jr., it was one of the good days in his campaign to send Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) into political obscurity. Morning brought word of a new poll showing him with a 12-point lead over Santorum, who is the third most powerfu
Read more: Wierd
Sunday Funnies
2006-10-15 14:46:00
(shaking head) some laws are a tad odd.. lolIn Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.(Like THAT makes sense.)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.(Do they look different reversed?)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.(A brick?)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.(Much worse tha n "going blind!") & nbsp;*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first timeReason: under Guam la
Read more: Funnies
, Sunday
What Flower Are You?
2006-10-23 21:27:00
I am aCanna
What FlowerAre You?
Borrowed from
Born Again Redneck
This is pretty cool. I ended up a Canna.
Click NComment with Loads of links.
2006-10-23 19:28:00
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check.""Oh, by the way don't worry about my doberman Spike. He won't bother you. But whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking doberman he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"See, men just don't listen ! **************~~~#~~~#~~#~~~#~~#BITCHOLOGY
Read more: Click
, Loads
, links
Tuesday's Giggles
2006-10-24 08:48:00
Weird Fact of the Day:Kermit the Frog has 11 points on his collar around his neck.@>`~~~~>,~~~A man went to see the local doctor and complained becausehis wife was having too many little bastards; she was hav-ing at least one per year. He said, "Doc, ya gotta help me,I can't gets enough welfare or steal enough to feeds em all."The doctor got down his medical reference book and lookedup the problem. He told his patient the book said if aman's bitch was having too many brats, he should removethe man's right testicle. He then administered anesthesiawith a beer bottle and took out his pocket knife and per- formed thesurgery.Three years later the man was back at the doctor's office complainingthe surgery had failed; she was still having at least one per year. Thewise doctor took his book back down and studied the problem.The doctor said, "Well, the book says if your wife is hav-ing too many brats to remove your right testicle, we'vedone that. If she still has too many brats, then we sh
Read more: Tuesday
, Giggles
Old News
2006-10-24 22:04:00
I found this
through another
blogger
and it brought to mind just what is out there and that we all of us need to remind everyone that there were and are things in Iraq that make it critical to our well being. Its time to remind the asylum that we the people have not forgotten 9-11-01 or that we expect them to act like what the hell they are World leaders and not a bunch of whiney assed weasels that have no value in this world other than taking up my precious oxygen.Both side of the aisle have forgotten we are fighting a GLOBAL WAR ON TERROR. They overall voted to send our fighting men and women into harms way to fight this war. Yet they all act like it was someone else. Lets look at some of the articles from the last few years that should remind us to stand up
and tell these moronic souls they work for us. They aren't giving us our money's worth either.
I didn't pay to send men and women to the beltway to drink do drugs and play sex games. The democrats are so
Read more: Old News
Sunday Late Edition
2006-10-29 21:32:00
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrotsitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feetor legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonderwhat happened to this parrot?"The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm adefective parrot."" Wow," the guy replies. "You actually understoodand answered me!""I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughlyeducated bird." says the parrot."OK! Then answer this -- how do you hang ontoyour perch without any feet?" the guy asks."Well," the parrot says, "this is veryembarrassing but since you asked, I wrap myweenie around this wooden bar like a little hook.You can't see it because of my feathers.""You really can understand and speak Englishcan't you?" says the guy." Actually, I speak Spanish and English, I canconverse with reasonable competence on almostany topic: politics, religion, sports, physics,philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. Youreally ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."The guy looks at the $20000 price tag. "Sorry
Read more: Edition
, Sunday
Saturday's Giggles and URLS
2006-10-28 20:04:00
Thought for the day... Stop obsessing so much on keeping score and getting ahead. Focus instead on creating real and lasting value from each moment you are given. ~~~~In a hurry to make an appointment on time, a businessman parked hiscar in a no parking zone, and left the following note under thewindshield wiper:"I've circled the block for 15 minutes without finding a parkingspot. If I don't park here, I'll lose my job. Remember the bible,'Forgive us our trespasses.' "Returning later to his car, he found parking ticket and this noteunder the windshield wiper:"I've been circling this block for 15 years. If I don't give you aticket, I'll lose my job. Remember the bible, 'Lead us not intotemptation."~~~#~~~#~~#~~~#~~#A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the homeowner, "My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale." "I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains," the homeowner r
Read more: Saturday
, Giggles
This N That
2006-10-27 23:03:00
The greatest truck driver in the world was driving along a country laneLate one night when his truck broke down. All he could see was a faintLight in the distance. So he headed towards it. He came to an oldFarmhouse and knocked on the door.'Hello', he says, 'I'm the greatest truck driver in the world and myTruck has broken down, I wonder could I have a bed for the night?''Well', says the farmer, there's only two rooms, meself and the wife inOne, and my young (nubile) daughter in the other'.'Look, I'm the greatest truck driver in the world and all I want is aBed for the night, your daughter will be as safe as a house', says theGreatest truck driver in the world.'All right' says the farmer, and they all went to bed.At four in the morning, the farmer heard the headboard next door banging against the wall. He got up and looked in, there was the greatest truck driver in the world driving it into his daughter, with his bare arse going up and down. He went down stairs and loaded
Bloggers From Iraq
2006-10-27 20:39:00
Hey all
Sooni
is talking.
Very interesting conversation.
Iraq
TheModel
has a new and great post up
also !!!!
Outrage as Muslim cleric likens women to 'uncovered meat'
2006-10-27 20:19:00
Moved to the Top for a few hours, and updated. Friday's funnies are below The following article is what it is. Found in a newspaper on line. Thus my rant on this crap.The cleric
's comments are disgusting in nature to me and as far as I am concerned. The b.s. about allowing these creeps into our world is unthinkable. This mindset is not changing. It is, however poisoning our way of life. In my opinion if this is a hate crime against women and should not be tolorated in any form. Its okay for them to murder and threaten anyone that says any thing about Mohammad. The Main Stream Media always gives them a pass. Hell CNN gives them great press all int he name of divercity and political correctness. You want to be p.c. then stop these mad men from spreading hate. Shut them up as you would a Christian leader. Show them for what they are. Not one beetle brained politician would hesitate to disavow this tripe about women coming from a Christian leader. Not one female news maker is talking abo
Read more: Outrage
, Muslim
The Real Story: Iraq
2006-10-27 20:10:00
The Real Story: Iraq
Video
Milk and Cookies for MFVOV
Glen Beck has asked that people download and email this video. You can thank Glen Beck by visiting glenbeck.com
Friday's Funnies
2006-10-27 08:21:00
Missing HusbandA lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall , blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report.She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"..~...~...~...~...~..The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavilyagainst a wall.He asks the blonde clerk, "What's with that guy over there by thewall?"The blonde clerk responds, "Well, he came in here this morning toget something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gavehim an entire bottle of laxative."The pharmacist yells, "You idiot. You can'
Read more: Friday
, Funnies
Fossilized Remains
2006-10-26 17:52:00
Fossilized remains of 10,000 yr old man! Nothing ever Changes
Read more: Remains
Blog Chatter
2006-10-26 06:15:00
I thought I would do a Wednesday version of my What is Everyone Talking About.
I know a bunch of you miss my cheery comments on your blogs. However I just have to make it to so many blog homes sometimes the time flies by way to fast. Okay enough excuses.
Gayle
has a post on an Article of the NYT that Old soldier explains so very well. Its one to check out.
Beth
is like the energizer bunny she just keeps going on and on with the truth and light exposing ugly things and having fun along the way.
GoogleBombing
at Right Wing News? HuH?
MFVOV Blog - Positive Voices from Military Families
Has some links to let your voices be heard in D.C. yet again. Tell them ya tired of the Crap that the MSM namely Cnn is pulling.Weighing in on M.J. Fox and Rush we have
AmyProctor
.doing Trak backs today we have
Diane
. For more fun and pleasure reading. Check out:
123Beta
Chas' Compilation
Dumb Ox
i
Dust Bunnies
I
.R.I.S.
Joshua Pundit
Read more: Chatter
Overload Wednesday
2006-10-26 02:21:00
~~~#~~~#~~#~~~#~~#Weird Fact of the Day:Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh cut off his left ear. His 'Self-Portrait with Bandaged Ear'' shows the right one bandaged because he painted the mirror image.********* ***An officer stopped a man doing 80 mph. When he asked the driverwhether he had seen the speed limit signs, the man responded,"I went by them so fast, I probably missed them."********* ***- A man going south on I-95 was stopped near Washington Avenuedoing 79 mph. "My engine misses and I'm trying to clean out thecarburetor," he told the officer. For good measure, he added,"If I don't go this fast, my car won't go at all."********* ***- "I'm due in traffic court," one speeder said. "If I'm late,they're going to enforce the bench warrant."********* ***- An elderly person was stopped after doing 73 mph. When told hewas getting a ticket, he asked the officer, "Is there a seniorcitizen's discount"?********* ***The story you are about to read is true. The name(s) may havebeen ch
Read more: Wednesday
Don't know if its True But
2006-10-25 21:25:00
In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview.When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said: "A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... And how many want out."Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:1. Jesus Christ2. The American G.I.One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF THEM.
Wednesday's White Trash
2006-10-25 04:03:00
A rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party andinvited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the onlyredneck in the neighborhood.He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy washaving a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ andflirting with all the women.At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10ft man-eating gatorin my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve tojump in."The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash andeveryone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool! Leroy was fighting thegator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with histhumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator onthe tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of JudoInstructor.The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gatorwere screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strang
Read more: White
, Wednesday
, Trash
, White Trash
Click N Comment Today
2006-10-29 23:00:00
My friend has a fine watch dog.At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him thesoup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed."Good heavens," he said, "what is this?""Why, it's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been,"he sputtered. "What is it now?"+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+Our phone rang late one night, and my wife Nancy picked it up. Shesaid, "No," and slammed it down."Who was that?""Some boy for Carolyn," she said, referring to our daughter.Then it rang again. Nancy listened, said, "KitKat," and hung up."What now?" I asked."A boy plans to ask Carolyn to the prom and wanted to know whather favorite candy is. He's going to put the invitation into acandy basket."The next morning a basket of candy was on our porch. "But, Mom,"our daughter protested when she heard the story, "KitKat isn't myfavorite candy.""I know," Nancy said. "It's mine."+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+Before a burgl
Read more: Click
, Comment
, Today
Happy Halloween!!!!!!
2006-10-31 06:56:00
Oklahoma Survivor ShowDue to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Oklahoma is planning to do its own entitled: "Survivor - Oklahoma Style".The contestants will start in Tulsa , travel over to Tahlequah and on to Muskogee and McAlester . Then they will head to Durant on to Lawton andAltus.From there they will proceed to Anadarko then up to Alva. Then back down through Woodward, Enid and all the way down to Oklahoma City thru El Reno and finally back up to Tulsa.Each contestant will be driving a pink Volvo with Texas license plates and a large bumper sticker that reads: Bob Stoops is gay.I'm a vegetarian.Biscuits and gravy clog your arteries. The Oklahoma Sooners suck....Go Longhorns...Beef Jerky is high in cholesterol.Hillary in 2008.Hunting is murder andI'm here to confiscate your guns.The first one that makes it back to Tulsa alive - Wins....Weird Fact :Diamonds were first discovered in the riverbeds of the Golconda region of India over 4,000 years ago.********* *Weird Fact :Constr
Read more: Happy
, Halloween
, Happy Halloween
The Salem Witch Trials
2006-10-31 09:16:00
The Salem
Witch
Trials
of 1692 In January of 1692, the daughter and niece of Reverend Samuel Parris of Salem Village became ill. When they failed to improve, the village doctor, William Griggs, was called in. His diagnosis of bewitchment put into motion the forces that would ultimately result in the death by hanging of nineteen men and women. In addition, one man was crushed to death; seventeen others died in prison, and the lives of many were irrevocably changed.To understand the events of the Salem witch trials, it is necessary to examine the times in which accusations of witchcraft occurred. There were the ordinary stresses of 17th-century life in Massachusetts Bay Colony. A strong belief in the devil, factions among Salem Village fanatics and rivalry with nearby Salem Town, a recent small pox epidemic and the threat of attack by warring tribes created a fertile ground for fear and suspicion. Soon prisons were filled with more than 150 men and women from towns surrounding Sale
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