Owner: The Bell Pages Blog URL:http://thebellpages.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sun, 29 Apr 2007 14:07:46 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: I am step-mom to two boys, mom to two more, a wife, as well as dog, cat and goldfish owner. Should the growing laundry pile in the basement spark a life of it's own, I'll probably have to feed it too. So join me as I cook supper, mop the floor, put a chil Site statistics:Click here
I Always Thought Invisibility Would Be Cool 2007-08-23 10:32:00 We had tickets to seen Korn and Evanescence.I wanted to see Evanescence, but had no desire to see Korn.When Mr. Honeybell suggested it, I allowed Phone Boy to have my ticket.I gave my ticket to Phone Boy.I've mentioned several times "be sure to get me a T shirt though!"Before they left last night, I told both of them individually and together "Don't forget to buy my T shirt!"Boys Suck. Read more:Invisibility
I Had No Idea Boys Do This 2007-08-22 21:15:00 Phone Boy: "This is what I'm wearing to school tomorrow."Best Friend: "Oh wait, let me help pick it out, we'll pick a shirt like one I have, and I'll wear mine tomorrow too."Who knew?
An Open Letter to The Kansas City Chiefs: 2007-08-27 21:57:00 (I'm feeling very communicative lately)Dear Kansas
City Chiefs
,I must tell you I am very disappointed with your performance so far this pre-season.Very. Disappointed.I am not a woman you want to disappoint. I almost hit Marcus Allen with my Geo Metro in KC Masterpiece parking lot once . . . so you can see that I know people dammit. I can make things difficult for you.I can do things to make your lives mildly uncomfortable . . . possibly, ok, not at all . . . but still. How would you like it if I removed your glitter banner from my Myspace?? No, you wouldn't like that at all would you? What if I began booing at my television? OR God forbid . . . coming to the games and booing while everyone else in the stadium is politically insensitively doing the Tomahawk Chop? What would you do then? What if I let my huge crush on Peyton Manning override my Chiefs loyalty? THAT would fix your little red Arrowhead wagons wouldn't it? It's even entirely possible that I will stop wearing Read more:Letter
Gotta Love Google 2007-09-02 01:45:00 I am loving the ability to see what people type into search engines which brings people to my blog. Most of the time. Sometimes it makes me fear for the future of society. Bring on the keywords!"Honeybell Face"I think I like this. Perhaps that's what I should have called myself."Blog Angst Teenager"Who wants to read the rambling of some crying, whining emo kid? Someone WITHOUT a teenager I'm sure."Boys who don't wear underwear"Ok, you are either one sick sonuvabitch, or you are a worried mother. If you are the former, stop it you freaking sicko! If you are the latter, don't worry about it, mine doesn't either."How to fake a seizure"Good lord moron, please, PLEASE stay out of my hospital. And see a shrink, for my sake and the sake of nurses and physicians everywhere. I will give you one hint though: don't 'come to' when you are offered food. That's always a dead giveaway."Obnoxious things to say"You have obviously found the right website."Picture of monkey sucking hi Read more:Gotta
, Google
What Have I Done? 2007-08-31 18:04:00 I've spent nearly all day changing the layout of the Blog . . . and now I don't think I like it. Whah. I REALLY wanted the 3 columns back, and I like the tabs at the top, but something about it I just can't decide if I like or not.What do you think?
In Which I Insist You Click This Link 2007-08-30 12:25:00 I just read the most beautiful post at Velveteen Mind. I can't think of anything witty or marvelous to say, so check it out for yourself.http://www.velveteenmind.com/velveteenmind/2007/08/camille-was-a-l.html Read more:Click
Random Photos! 2007-08-30 10:51:00 Monkey Boy Gets A Haircut!Yes, I finally agreed.Brothers making sure it's done right.Worlds of Fun!Our recent trip to the amusement park. Goofy LOVED this roller coaster and insisted that he ride it twice. Check out the ridiculous line!Fools.(I am a big scardey cat, that's Mr. Honeybell and Phone Boy on the coaster)Train ride, they used to stage a robbery, but have evidently done away with doing that.Phone Boy being bored.My handsome fella taking a lunch break.I love the forced smile. It was about 2000 degrees.Camp Snoopy!Goofy was determined to ride this by himself.How to waste as much money as possible in the least amount of time.Goofy loved the Easter Island head . . . anyone else see Night at the Museum?My guys.I'm tired! Where's my frappuccino? Read more:Random
Mr. Honeybell . . . Underappreciated! 2007-08-29 11:42:00 I recently had a battery problem with my Pathfinder, and was unable to drive it for a couple of days. The boys had gotten used to me driving Mr. Honeybell's van instead. Normally Tony is our 'go to guy' for mechanical problems, however this was a simple fix and Mr. Honeybell took care of it.The morning after the problem had been rectified, we were heading for a drive at Monkey Boy's insistence (he will occasionally bring me his shoes and wait at the door yelling "Bye Bye!!). As Goofy headed for the van I told him we were driving in my car since "your dad fixed it"."Honey . . . don't you mean TONY fixed it?""No sweetie, your dad took care of it"Phone Boy had just come outside: "Are you serious? DAD fixed the car?!"Jeez. You'd think he was sporting a pocket protector, taped glasses, and only speaking to us in Klingon...
Bumps In The Night At Honeybell House 2007-09-25 10:37:00 *Cough, Cough*A Boston Terrier Snort From Beneath The Blankets"WHAH!!""Honey, will you go fix him?"Snore . . . . Snore . . . . ."Hey! Stop That!""I Hate It When Phone Boy Yells In His Sleep.""I Can't Sleep . . . . Can You?"*Cough, Cough*"Let's Go Smoke"Snore . . . . Snore . . . . .*Cough, Cough*"Hey Dad, There's Something Going 'Psssst' In My Room"The party that never sleeps. Read more:Night
, House
But Dahling . . . . Don't You Know Who I Am? 2007-09-23 20:50:00 Over the weekend I was contacted by a reporter from People Magazine. In doing research for an article on Chantix, she came across this blog. She asked me to relay any crazy dreams I've had while taking it for a sidebar to run with the article. It should be out this Friday.I'm gonna be in People Magazine! I feel like a second-rate celebrity . . . . like Nicky Hilton maybe . . . perhaps a female Tony Danza?In retrospect, I don't know exactly how excited I should feel about being featured in a national magazine for being a little crazy, but I'm deciding just to go with it.'Cause I'm gonna be in People Magazine!How will I keep the paparazzi away??
Why No One Likes Me 2007-09-21 14:34:00 Chatter Mom very thoughtfully gave me this award like, more than a week ago . . . and I'm ashamed to say in the chaos that is my life . . . I totally forgot . . . 'cause sometimes I can totally be an asshole like that. Obviously some sucking up is in order:Chatter Mom is a very cool chick whom I have had the pleasure of meeting just recently. Her blog is a new one on my list of regular reads, and I'm truly honored that she thought of me when handing this out. I am promptly giving it right back to her, because she is unquestionably nicer than I am!Who else falls under my benevolence? Well I think I'd like this award to go to some of my new friends at cre8buzz . . .In addition to being nice, these folks are given the Nice Matters Award because:Serinahope, cause I love her name, and she has great taste in music. (she already has this award on her blog . . . but it's not from ME, which is quite obviously makes it so fantastic)Becky at Chocolate Party, she is a truly sweet person
Love Letters 2007-09-20 12:54:00 I was so happy Mr. Honeybell agreed to do a guest post, and I think he did a fantastic job! I was surprised at his subject matter, truthfully I was expecting a smart assed commentary on the "Perils of Living With Honeybell". Granted, he could probably fill an entire blog with that, but anyway . . .One of the reasons he and I get along so well, and were attracted to each other in the first place, is our misguided belief that we alone, are the most amusing people EVAH. We crack each other up, while everyone is left staring at us like we are idiots. Sarcasm and humor is what gets us through each day.I especially love that he talked about my dad, because he was there for the entire experience. Having Dad become confused, then being in the geriatric psych ward of the hospital (because he couldn't be controlled anywhere else) was one of the worst times in my life. During that time, we were working one night, and Mr. Honeybell and I were arguing over something silly. At the end of the Read more:Letters
I Am Drowning In A Sea Of Pollen 2007-09-19 11:33:00 If the ragweed doesn't kill me, the high dose cocktail of Benadryl, Claritin, and Sudafed will. The meds don't even help, they just make me feel pro-active.I need to go scour my eyes with a wire brush now.And possibly attach an air hose to each nostril.Be back soon.
Mr. Honeybell Guest Blogs 2007-09-17 12:28:00 When my wife asked me to guest blog, I can't say I jumped a the opportunity. My first thought was that if I just agreed to do it, I could avoid actually following through. This would be nothing unusual in our house. Several weeks later I've decided to be a good husband, and force myself to write something. I enjoy writing about as much as Honeybell enjoys math, a fact not unknown to her.However, this small amount of torment is nothing compared to what I subject her to daily, so I'll stop whining and get on with it. I was going to write something funny, as I'm filled with hilarious observations I'm convinced everyone wants to hear. But I decided to step away from obnoxious smart-ass, and chose mushy instead.My inspiration came from Honeybell's post about her father. I didn't have the chance to get to know Melvin, as he died before Honeybell and I were together. The flash in her eyes when she talks about him is enough to tell me I missed knowing a wonderful man. I did mee Read more:Guest
, Blogs
Things That Make Me Laugh 2007-09-14 15:13:00 In no particular order:Chubby little baby arms wrapped tight around my neckThe disgusted look on Phone Boy's face when Mr. Honeybell and I are snuggling, and we tell him "Hey! Go on! We're making out here!"Watching the idiot dog's look of utter surprise when he actually catches the tennis ballSporty Boy's impromptu dance movesBack to back episodes of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". Hilarious showHearing Monkey talk to the dog, Frodo: "Oh, Froh-woh!"Watching Goofy wake up in the morning . . . ten minutes of groaning and stretching . . . definitely his mother's son.My "old hippie" Psych professor-yep, the one with the catThe teenage girls at community college, desperately clinging to their slut attire in 50 degree weather. I've never seen so many shivering spaghetti strapped shoulders and goose-bumped asses hanging out of shorts before.Beating Mr. Honeybell at poolSpeaking of whom, be sure to check in on Monday, Mr. Honeybell is guest blogging!!
School Days . . . For The Momma 2007-09-13 11:19:00 Returning to school has been easier in some ways for me, more difficult in others. Child care is the most obvious issue, my increase in coffee consumption is another! I'm finding the actual studying and comprehension surprisingly easy . . . or maybe I just don't know that I don't understand! However the constant need to be doing something really goes against my naturally lazy nature, and so the family is helping out.This is a prime example of Monkey Boy's unwavering assistance:And here is Mr. Honeybell's:I will spare you the sections and diagrams he embellished and added notes to for the reproductive system. When I unknowingly opened my book to that section, my anatomy professor was impressed though. I blamed it on the kids (one more use for children . . . cover up your husbands potty humor!)It has been a joy experiencing the differences between community college and University. For instance, at University, you might expect an in depth lecture on Freud. At community college Read more:School
, Momma
Priorities Are All In Order 2007-09-12 12:13:00 I was going to do a nice little snarky piece on Britney today, actually defending her if you can believe that . . . but then I saw this at Avitable, which I was compelled to steal immediately. I think this gentleman adequately expresses what we all feel, don't you think? (unless your employer is all good with the "F" word, don't watch this at work) Read more:Order
2007-09-11 11:02:00 I recently discovered that Phone Boy has a myspace. I was a little upset that he didn't discuss this with us, much less ask permission. However, I think the bigger deal I made of it, the more likely it would be that he would try to hide his online activities. I was relieved to see that he kept his profile private, and I instructed him to request me as a friend, which he did promptly. While viewing his profile I has happy to see that he refrains from using his name, as well as his location. I was horrified to read his comments between himself and his girlfriend.They LUUUURVVEE each other. He calls her "Baby". She leaves him comments to let him know that he is "her one and only baby boy".After getting over the initial nausea, I'm choosing to ignore it. Granted, I'm pretty sure that of the handful of people in this world that could justifiably refer to him as "baby boy", this little chicka isn't one of them. I'm confident his mother agrees. And yet again, the bigger deal I
Honeybell House ~ It's Ghetto Fabulous! 2007-09-10 11:34:00 We began renting this house 3 years ago. I like old homes as I think they have a lot more character than a newer one, and ours is no exception. It originally began as apartments, so we get the extra uselessness benefit of an upstairs kitchen, there is a sort of secret passage between two of the boy's bedrooms, and a separate entrance to the upstairs.The downside includes the owners penchant for patriotic decor. When we moved in, every room in the house was either red, white, or blue (we painted the baby's room, as I was afraid we've have a jittery, neurotic Monkey baby surrounded by all that red). I have American Flag border on every stair tread to the upstairs, we have since removed the same border from 2 doors and Monkey's room. When I care enough, I'll be taking it off the one living room wall as well.The kitchen hasn't been redone since the house was built in 1950. This means a lovely laminate counter in olive green with yellow swirls. This kitchen counter could evade Read more:House
, Ghetto
Sometimes, People Suck 2007-09-07 11:41:00 My friend and co-worker "B" went golfing with another co-worker "C". Upon returning to my friend's home (out in the middle of nowhere), a man under the influence of PCP and alcohol attacked C with a knife in the driveway. They don't even know this man. My friend reacted swiftly and wrestled the attacker to the ground. In doing do B fractured his own hand, as he had to beat the attacker unconscious to stop the attack, and get C to the hospital.This leaves C in the hospital, permanently disabled (if he lives). B with a broken hand, and a family that is now afraid to go to sleep at night. And an attacker that was too high to realize that B had broken his arm when getting the knife away, and bone was sticking through the skin. After waking up and finding my co-workers gone he went home like that.Please offer up prayers, good wishes, and whatever else you've got for my co-workers. They need it. Read more:Sometimes
The Story of Goofy Boy 2007-09-06 01:39:00 Six years ago today I was sent home from work and put on bed rest. The squirming alien baby my husband had impregnated me with wasn't having very reassuring heart patterns, and we all know we must put the squirming alien babies first.I never wanted kids. I was the consummate party girl. Well meaning friends with kids used to tell me how much I needed to have a baby. My standard response was "What would I do with it?". I wasn't even sure I wanted anything to do with Mr. Honeybell at first, as he was a package deal. Here were these two little boys that needed constant attention, feeding, grooming and Dear Lord have you seen some of the stuff that comes out of them?! I couldn't even have my mimosa breakfasts around them!It didn't take me long though . . . and I was just as in love with them as I was with Mr. Honeybell. And it was all good. Until . . . apparently sex can make you pregnant.I'm not good at being pregnant. The constant cravings, the heartburn, the back pai
Smoking, Vol. II 2007-09-03 16:04:00 Well, despite the short trial of Chantix, I'm still smoking. As I mentioned in the previous post, the Chantix was doing a great job of practically eliminating my desire to smoke. The downside came with it's side effects. The unceasing sweating I could deal with (gross, but ok). The constant slight disconcerted feeling I could deal with. The weird-ass dreams I could deal with. But when it caused my Prozac to stop working . . . . well, nobody wants that.My mother battled depression nearly her entire life. I know my dad had a hard time especially after his first stroke. Nearly everyone in my family has a history of depression. I never thought I did, I just thought I was pissed off all the time.I always thought of depressed people as those that cry all the time, can't get out of bed, etc. Which certainly happens, but it never occurred to me that a constant feeling of rage could be a sign of depression. I assumed I was just a bitch. As did most everyone else.After my dad died Read more:Smoking
Update On My People Magazine Debut 2007-09-29 11:54:00 I heard yesterday from People Magazine
, the article on Chantix was pushed back to NEXT Friday, and they may be running a photo with the dream description.Alas, fame and fortune is a struggle. Read more:Update
, People Magazine
Do You Read? 2007-09-27 11:30:00 I recently got an email from Anne Glamour at My Tiny Kingdom about Shelfari. I am addicted! I'm an avid reader. That is when I'm not going to school, taking care of kids or doing the laundry. Ok. Fine. I used to be an avid reader.Anyway, I have a lot of books. At Shelfari you can list your books, write reviews, find friends and groups, blah, blah, blah. The entire point of this post is for me to blatantly, pathetically beg for you join and be my friend. Why will I make a good friend? Let's explore:1. I make the most bad ass chocolate chip cookies. And I give them away at Christmas.2. I read really good books, so you could just claim all the books on my shelf as your own, which will make you look really good.3. I have a great combination of being a nurse, and being REALLY opinionated. Get it? "Hello free medical advice!!"4. I get bored with stuff easily, if you are my size or smaller, you could double your wardrobe in six months.5. I am very, very, funny dammit.How
Second Post of The Day, 'Cause I'm ANGRY! 2007-09-26 15:17:00 Thanks to reading this post today at Rockstar Mommy, I am going to change the way I address posting photos on this site. It is a dilemma for public bloggers whether or not to post photos of their children online. Until now, I've been fine with it. My stance has always been "hey, if my kid gets his picture in the paper I don't freak out . . . "But when it comes down to it, pedophiles are not scanning the newspaper for pictures of children. They ARE scanning the internet.As far as I know, I've never had a photo stolen. I did have the weirdo favorite a picture of ME on flickr. But that was ME, and it was MY CHOICE to post my OWN PICTURE. However if I were responsible for some sick bastard stealing my child's photo, I don't think I can deal with that.So here is the deal. My photos will continue to be available on Flickr. Eventually I will get around to sending invitations to friends and family to be able to view them. If you don't want to wait on my lazy ass, feel free to g Read more:Second
, Cause
My Job 2007-09-26 13:30:00 Some days, after spending several hours with a new mom and her family,I am so excited to get to see them take their new family home. The entire affair is anticipated, celebrated, and a true joy to the new family.On rare days, I'll look at a perfect, tiny little person, and think "This moment, right now, here in the nursery, is as good as your life is going to get baby, and I'm so very sorry".And I really hope I'm wrong.
Because There Isn't Enough About ME 2007-10-12 11:54:00 Jessica at It's My Life, Laugh If You Must has tagged me for a "7 things about me" meme. Because here at the Bell Pages, there really isn't enough of Honeybell. That's what we all need, some more Honeybell.Let the introspection begin!I'm only 5 ft tall. With shoes on.I didn't get married until I was 30. Thank God, because the thought of being married to any of my previous boyfriends makes me throw up a little.I was a cheerleader in high school. I was a horrible cheerleader, as we spent most of our time in the bathroom of the gym smoking weed.Thanks to me, Sr. Rita Marie thinks marijuana smells like clove cigarettes.I haven't smoked a joint in years.I LOVE starting IV's on people. And giving shots. And placing nasogastric tubes. Thank goodness I'm good at it, or there would an awful lot of patients pissed off at me.My favorite drink is a White Russian-with Carolina's instead of vodka. I don't care what anyone says, I can always taste the vodka. Yuck.I'm lazy. I tag Read more:Enough
Muffin Top? 2007-10-11 10:30:00 Have you seen this commercial? Cracks me up everytime! Read more:Muffin
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