Owner: The Bell Pages Blog URL:http://thebellpages.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sun, 29 Apr 2007 14:07:46 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: I am step-mom to two boys, mom to two more, a wife, as well as dog, cat and goldfish owner. Should the growing laundry pile in the basement spark a life of it's own, I'll probably have to feed it too. So join me as I cook supper, mop the floor, put a chil Site statistics:Click here
The Honeybell Family . . . We Exude Brotherly Love! 2007-06-30 07:48:00 I found this in Sporty's Room. It looks to be about a year old, but too funny not to share!
(If you have a hard time reading it, click it to make it larger) Read more:Family
THE ANGRY WOMAN! 2007-07-05 14:56:00 Why am I suddenly acutely aware of the world's nutjobs? Surely they've always been there and I'm just now noticing. Perhaps it's some kind of anti-crazy denial, I'm not sure.
In any case Mr. Honeybell, Goofy, and I were driving down a main thoroughfare the other day, and there is an older woman walking down the middle of it. She's smoking her cigarette and taking her time, as though this is
Anysoldier.com 2007-07-02 23:12:00 In honor of Independence Day I'm making a post for www.anysoldier.com.
This site brings together soldiers in need (in any branch of military service) to people wanting to ship care packages or letters to the men and women serving in Iraq. Letters from the U.S. are actually the most requested item.
The boys and I have done this a couple of times, it's a great way to show support for our
More Random Photos! 2007-07-02 17:23:00 My little great niece, Beautiful Girl. Also known as the closest thing I'll ever have to having a daughter!
Monkey Boy and Beautiful Girl . . . together they are A Force To Be Reckoned With!
Being a Menace is thirsty work!
My other great niece, Gorgeous Baby Girl. She needs to get just a little older to form the
Trio of Toddler Doom
Mr. Honeybell and niece Krista (of the dessert in Read more:Random
Useful Children 2007-07-07 12:57:00 Kids are unquestionably demanding little time eaters. However they do have several redeeming qualities, one of which is their usefulness. If you are creative enough, you can exploit the needs and habits of your children to your own end. For instance:
1) You are somewhere you don't want to be, or talking to someone you dont' want to talk to. "I need to go, Johnny really needs a nap."
note: Read more:Useful
, Children
I Would Like to Thank The Academy . . . 2007-07-13 13:27:00 The fabulous Mad Goat Lady has generously awarded me the Thoughtful Blogger Award! When I excitedly told Mr. Honeybell about it he immediately responded with "You mean like how thoughtful you were about the girl across the street?"
I don't like him much.
Anyway . . . Big BIG thanks to the Mad Goat lady! I now have the honor of awarding five other bloggers (as always, there are rules, check Read more:Thank
, Academy
Does Al Pacino Powerwalk? 2007-07-12 17:14:00 We have acquired a treadmill. I have affectionately named it "The AntiChrist". I HATE this thing. I keep spilling my Frappucinos and there's no place for my ashtray. Actually it's more of a love/hate relationship. I thought I was done with those with my last boyfriend, however I keep returning everyday to use it.
One of the most loathsome features include the calorie burning counter. WTF
Missing My Dad 2007-07-11 12:53:00 I've been thinking a lot about my dad lately. Even after ten years the pain of missing him is almost palpable. He was one of those people who was just bigger than life, as my mom said "The man we thought would live forever".
He was the glue that held our family together, a family which is only now beginning to repair itself ten years later. When my mother died, it was a mercy. She had been so Read more:Missing
In Which Mr. Honeybell Turns 30 2007-07-10 10:31:00 What happens when the husband feels the crunch of turning 30? He and his best friend have a headlining fight . . . MMA style. Yes, they were both sober (Let's leave my own sobriety status out of it, I do love martini's though!.)
Why yes, he does have a bloody nose
It's at about this time that his shoulder dislocates. Yes. Really.
Luckily the shoulder popped back in on it's own, and
Goofy Boy-isms 2007-07-16 10:08:00 ~Upon returning from the basement: "Dad! We have a spider in the basement! I think it's a Daddy Long Lips!"
~"Honey? Did you know that it hurts when you burp through your nose?"
~"After buying his own toy at the store: "I can't wait til we get home, it's gonna be The Sweet Smell of Toys!"
~Talking about his friend at soccer camp: "D. is SIX, he's has so much experience, he's won like a
The Obnoxious Mother 2007-07-18 09:51:00 My baby said "Apple Juice?" while handing me his sippy cup. Obviously this means he is the most intelligent, articulate, amazing 20 month old ever. I need to go notify MENSA.
That is all.
Sex Ed. 101 2007-07-19 11:52:00 Somehow I have become the child-appointed sex educator in the house. It's not a title I embrace, however whenever the boys have a question . . . they come to me. (Do these boy children not realize they have a FATHER??!! To quote the fabulous Anne Glamour, I am the lone vagina in a house full of penises! I went to an all girls Catholic school, what do I know?? Sex is dirty!! That's all you
Tales of a Jaded Nurse 2007-07-24 14:19:00 In the 16 years I've worked as a nurse, it has come to my attention that many people do not know how to behave while visiting, or being a patient in the hospital. Here is a handy guide to help the masses:
*Disclaimer~Obviously this only applies to those in their right mind!
1) For visitors: No one wants to see you immediately after surgery unless you gave birth to them or sleep with them Read more:Tales
, Jaded
, Nurse
Perhaps a Stripping Leprechaun? 2007-07-27 14:36:00 I have a dilemma. Naturally I turn to the same place I turn for all of my personal pleas . . . the Internet. Several weeks ago we took the boys to the T-Rex restaurant, where I insisted Monkey Boy have a cute little T-Rex sippy cup. It was insulated, with water and green glitter between the layers, cute huh?
So last night as Monkey Boy is supposed to be feasting on Parmesan chicken and peas, Read more:Stripping
, Leprechaun
Things to Say to Piss Off Your 11 Year Old Who Hasn't Finished Harry Potter Yet 2007-07-26 14:20:00 ~So, have you come to the part where you find out Dumbledore is a cross dressing prostitute?
~You haven't put your clothes away, I'm afraid you are grounded . . . from reading.
~(In a sing-songy voice) I finished the Boook, Yoooou haven't, I know the seeecret!!! Yoooou don't!
~I'm sorry, when you let me borrow your copy, I dropped it in the tub.
~(While reading it yourself) Wow, Professor Read more:Harry
, Potter
Pride and Lack of Prejudice 2007-07-31 00:01:00 I was recounting these stories to a co-worker the other day, she laughed so hard I thought she'd break something, then she insisted I share them in the blog. So here you are:
Story #1 ~ A Warning Against Over-Educating Your Children When You Don't Know What's Going On:
We used to live in Northwest Arkansas. Beautiful area of the country, but one major change Mr. Honeybell and I noticed after Read more:Pride
, Prejudice
Smoking 2007-08-02 12:09:00 I am officially on my second week of Chantix, the new stop smoking drug. Granted, I'm still smoking, but much less than I was, and I'm not enjoying it. So that's something.
There are some side effects that are driving me crazy!! I sweat like crazy at the slightest provocation. I was in a delivery the other day, under the hot lights of the baby radiant warmer in the delivery room, and sweat Read more:Smoking
Monkey Boy's Very First, Totally Useless Emergency Room Visit 2007-08-04 18:09:00 It was only a matter of time. This type of behavior can only go on for so long before someone finally has to say "I think he needs stitches".
Monkey Boy's time came yesterday, during a gravity defying attempt to leap over Mr. Honeybell from the couch to the floor head first. You guessed it, he does NOT in fact, have the ability to fly. It is a relief to have THAT nagging question all Read more:First
, Emergency
For The Bible Tells Me So 2007-08-03 13:13:00 In order to start getting our spiritual groove on, Mr. Honeybell and I have been going to church the last few weeks. I know I know, exercising, quitting smoking, going to church what's wrong with me? Next thing you know I'll quit shooting up all this smack.
So we're going to this small country church, we know and like the pastor, we're communing with The Lord, it's all good. This week, Mr.
Just So You Know 2007-08-06 15:58:00 Police Officers don't think it's funny when they ask why you're speeding and you reply "I'm almost out of gas, so I'm trying to hurry up".
Officer Hill in particular will ask if you are being a smart ass. It's never good when the officer uses the word "ass" in any context in reference to you.
It is nice however when upon examining your license, he discovers that you used to rent a house from
Swami Honeybell 2007-08-10 19:56:00 I think a lot about how the boys will turn out as they get older. Here are my predictions for the future:
Phone Boy: Phone Boy is going to have a string of hot girlfriends, but no one too serious for a long time. He'll be too busy making tons of money and being number one in his chosen profession. As much as he likes to argue, I'm guessing lawyer. He won't have kids (because frankly, what's Read more:Swami
Take a Poll!!! 2007-08-13 14:00:00 Ok, how creepy is it that this guy favorited this picture of me on flickr? I suppose this is what happens when you mention "cleavage" in a photo description. So . . . am I flattered in a perverse sort of way? Am I offended? I haven't decided yet . . . what would you do? Take the poll at the right!!
On The Runway 2007-08-17 12:55:00 Me- "That was some outfit that guy ahead of us in line had on."Mr. Honeybell- "What guy? I was busy looking at the girl a couple of people ahead of us."Me- "How can I make fun of people if you aren't paying attention? I can't do it all by myself you know."Mr. Honeybell- "She was cute."Me- "Check out girls on your own time dammit! I'm trying to be evil here!"Mr. Honeybell- "ok, what was he wearing?"Me- "Neon green tank shirt, red pleated dockers shorts complete with black dress belt, neon green Reeboks, and fuzzy red leg warmers . . . oh yeah, and a fishing hat . . . with lures firmly in place."Mr. Honeybell- "I can't believe I missed that."Me- "What did I tell you, you have to pay attention!"I don't mean to be a fashion snob. I really don't. Throughout my life I've tried to break this fashion habit, but I can't. At the age of three I remember getting up out of bed in the middle of the night, appalled by my Holly Hobbie PJ's. I dug around my sister's drawer til Read more:Runway
What I've Gotten Myself Into 2007-08-16 15:46:00 Ok, I finally did it. I'm an officially enrolled college student. Complete with crappy photo ID and everything. Everyone else was right, and I was lazy, and now I'm going back to school and are you happy now dammit??!!The only problem is, I don't want to become a RN, I just want to BE a RN. I've worked in that capacity as a LPN for years. I don't want to sit in class, I don't want to go to clinicals. I'm old enough to be my classmate's mother. I have four kids to raise, a husband, rent to pay, and of course there's the Internet that needs tending to. I currently have no financial aid, no childcare, tons of conflicts with my work schedule . . . but I can't continue to make excuses. It'll have to work itself out, because I'll never do it if I think too much. In 2 years I'll be able to get a job I want, at the pay I'm worth, in the field I excel in.I start on Monday.
Goofy Boy's First Day of Kindergarten ~OR~ You Mean I'm Just Supposed To Leave Him Here? 2007-08-15 14:54:00 You know, this kindergarten thing sounded fine in theory. But I now realize you meant now . . . today. I'm going walk out of here and leave him sitting on the floor looking all small and apprehensive all by himself. I feel like I'm dropping him off at the mall unsupervised.Wait, you say there are a dozen teachers and aides standing there? I don't know, that perky blond one looks a little shady to me. Read more:First
, Kindergarten
, Leave
, First Day
Sleep Is Overrated. Apparently. 2007-08-21 10:56:00 We love Phone Boy's best friend. He's a great kid, super polite, and always greets me with a "Hi Mom!" and a big hug (yeah, the sucking up never hurts). When the doorbell rang at 6:30 this morning, I was sure violence would ensue. However, there stood best friend to pick up Phone Boy for school. Luckily Mr. Honeybell was awake enough not to smack him or anything. Why they feel the need to leave so early I've no clue, but there must be some kind of trouble to get into at that hour.So once the entire household was awakened by the doorbell, our day began. Sad me, I have never been able to return to sleep after waking without pharmaceutical assistance, so I'm running on about 5 hours of sleep. And scheduled to work tonight. Then go to classes most of the day tomorrow. Now that I think about it, maybe I'll go to the middle school and smack the kid.Anyway.Today was my second day of classes at our local community college. I had "Essentials of Math" first due to my embarrassing Read more:Sleep
Shoes and Shirt Required (oh, and pants) 2007-08-20 12:15:00 Shoe shopping yesterday for four boys. What a pain. First you collect all of the too small shoes, cram them on their big 'ol feet, as they've been wearing mostly sandals or crocs all summer, then you go to the bank to take out the loan to buy shoes for four children, then you drive for an hour because our stupid town doesn't have ONE shoe store that sells kid's shoes. Grrr.The oldest three were very into it. Monkey Boy, not so much. Again I wonder at the mind of a toddler. Photographic proof of the child's love of different shoes. EVERYONE ELSE'S SHOES:(I just now realized how many pictures of Monkey are on here sans pants. He does wear them, I swear.)Anyway. I don't care who you are, if you take off your shoes in my home, Monkey will be wearing them around in a matter of seconds. However, since he was born, Monkey has hated to have new shoes of his own. He screams and cries when you try to put them on his feet, yelling "NO! NO! NO!" as you try to put them on. Trying Read more:Shirt
Bad Boys, Bad Boys, What You Gonna Do? 2007-08-19 23:39:00 Goofy Boy: You know Honey, in school, all the pretty girls like the bad boys.Me: And where did you come by this tidbit of information?Goofy: Honey! (all while rolling his eyes, as though he's explaining the sky is blue) I just KNOW it, no one had to tell me.Me: Well, I'm here to tell you, I was a pretty girl in school once, and I never liked the bad boys. (yes, I lied to my own son. What do you want? I can't have him turning into a little hooligan now can I?)Goofy: Well . . . maybe that's just in High School. Besides Honey, I don't think I'll be signing up for High School anyway. Read more:Bad Boys
An Open Letter To The Rat Bastard That Tried To Break Into Our Van: 2007-08-24 18:58:00 Humph. Moron.Love, Honeybell************************************************Last night as I got out of the tub, Mr. Honeybell was coming in from having a cigarette. "I just stopped someone from breaking into the van!" He had been sitting in the darkness of our front porch, watched this guy walk up the street and into our yard, while his thieving cohort stood guard in the street. Oblivious to Mr. Honeybell, he crouched down, and reached up to open the van door. At this time Mr. Honeybell yelled:"JUST WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"I'm sure the would-be car thief ran off in order to change his pants.In any case, this situation got me thinking. At about age three or four, we lived at our house on the lake. Because we were so close to the water, we couldn't have a basement. Instead we had a tornado shelter next to the house. One night my parents came rushing in and scooped my sister and I from the bathtub. There was a tornado on the lake Read more:Letter
, Break
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