Owner: Ramblings of a Mad Cow URL:http://mschris.hoorayblog.com Join Date: Sat, 19 Aug 2006 18:40:02 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: I am a crazy, bohemian mom, wife, friend and hockey nut. I'm also a Mad Cow.
In what little spare time I have, I enjoy reading, Sci-Fi books and movies, and everything to do with my family. Site statistics:Click here
The female brain cell 2007-01-18 11:03:28 Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man’s head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet. “Hello?” she cried, but no answer. “Is there anyone here?” she cried a little louder, but still no answer. Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled: “HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?”
Then she heard a voice from far, far away: “Hello, we’re down here…”
from IEH
Movie computers 2007-01-18 22:39:19 Computers and Electronics as Depicted in Movies:
Word processors never display a cursor.
You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
All monitors display inch-high letters.
High-tech computers
, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces.
Those that don’t, have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by simply typing “ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES” on any keyboard.
Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing “UPLOAD VIRUS” (see “Fortress”).
All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain’s desktop computer, even if it’s turned off.
Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers
Ugh 2007-01-19 15:02:34 I need to start going to bed earlier. At least I think so. This is how the coffee maker in the breakroom looks to the naked eye:
But this is how it looks to me:
I need more sleep.
Prayers 2007-01-20 15:14:16 WOMAN’S PRAYER:
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who’s not a creep, one who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long, one who thinks before he speaks, and one who’ll call often and not wait weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed, when I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh!
Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end, and always be my very best friend.
MAN’S PRAYER:
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a golf course.
I know that this doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit .
He's famous! 2007-01-22 17:31:25 From CentralHockeyLeague.com, by CHL Jr. Reporter Austin Russell
January 19, 2007 - On January 19th, 2007, the RiverKings played the Odessa Jackalopes for the first of three times this season. When my family got to the Desoto Civic Center, the radio announcer, Jim Erickson, led me to the press box and my things were laid out neatly before me. I got everything I needed together in front of me and got ready for the game. I was looking forward to a great experience as the CHL Jr Reporter of the night.
The Jackalopes scored a goal early into the game at 1:33. The goal was scored by #18 Nathan Ward, with assists by #23 Don Margettie and #16 Jeff Ewasko. The Jackalopes got a penalty after the goal, just 2 minutes into the game, it was on #17 Andrew Davis for tripping, giving the Kings the powerplay. Another penalty on #17 Davis for holding on the Jackalopes, giving the Kings the powerplay yet again 5:24 into the game. Taking advantage of the powerplay, RiverKing Brad Wanchulak scored a g
On a roll 2007-01-22 16:20:23 The RiverKings are so kicking ass these days! I tell you what, I’m still a relatively new RiverKings fan (3rd year as a season ticket holder), but things are definitely more fun this year. The last two seasons have been a bit of a slump (understatement of the year) for the RiverKings. This year though they brought their “A” game and it shows!
This last weekend the RiverKings played Odessa Friday night and Saturday afternoon, and although I didn’t make it to the Friday night game I went to Saturday’s game and they rocked! I was sad to miss Friday night’s game since that was Austin’s night to be the CHL Jr. Reporter. But I did get to read his article, and I think it’s a good one. So we went Saturday, and Will was at work. Turns out they really wanted some photos shot because some of the guys were playing with pink sticks to honor the Susan B Komen foundation as the featured non-profit of the day. Well, I had brought my camera t
Neat Star Wars video 2007-01-23 23:03:50 Want to see the Death Star sequence done with hands?
Read more:video
Way to go, RiverKings! 2007-01-23 22:51:12 I’m totally bummed that I couldn’t make it today. Would loved to have seen this one.
Best bounce back ever 2007-01-25 20:43:52 Everybody’s seen em, but this is the best!!!
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Memorial 2007-01-25 20:24:54 I will remember to take a moment, and say a silent prayer tonight before digging in to my fried chicken.
News stories about it:
Boy’s Screaming Killed Chickens, Court Rules
and one more to prove I’m not making this up:
For crying out loud
Boy’s screaming kills chickens
Read more:Memorial
The cane of doom 2007-01-25 15:33:35 Well, went to the doctor yesterday, and I get to keep using the cane. Lucky me.
Book review 2007-01-26 18:16:08 Everyone has been there; frustrated after a visit to the doctor. You got treated like a number, not a sick person in need of compassion. We've all dealt with it, but what do you do?
Well, thanks to Laura Casey's How to Get the Health Care You Want, you have the resources you need at your fingertips to take charge of your health care.
The basic premise here is pretty simple: it is ultimately the patient's responsibility to make sure their health care is satisfactory. Most hospitals have a "Patient's Bill of Rights" that includes liaisons, patient representatives, and ways for patient's to express concern or seek assistance. But how many of us have used the tools available to us? Unfortunately, when we're being mistreated is when we need the care and compassion of a qualified, concerned provider the most.
Ms. Casey has been through this and has taken the time to gather all the tools necessary to take control of our own health care. In How to Get the Health Read more:review
I must have one……. 2007-01-26 18:09:13 Scientist develops caffeinated doughnuts
DURHAM. N.C. (AP) — That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That’s what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he’s developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.
Read the rest of this sugary goodness over at USA Today
Boo 2007-01-27 14:24:15 MUDBUGS END RIVERKINGS' STREAK
BOSSIER CITY, LA — The Bossier-Shreveport Mudbugs scored three power play goals as they snapped the Memphis RiverKings' 10 game winning streak with a 4-1 win at the CenturyTel Center Friday night. The RiverKings will return home to host the Oklahoma City Blazers Saturday night with the drop of the puck pushed back to 7:20 to accommodate the large crowd that is anticipated for the game.
After a scoreless first period, Jason Sessa put the RiverKings on top with his 19th goal, his 11th on the power play, at 1:58 of the second. The Mudbugs would then score the next four goals, two each in the second and third periods for the win.
Bossier-Shreveport goalie John Decaro stopped 25 of 26 shots to get the win. The RiverKings' Kevin Schieve made 24 saves on 28 shots to take the loss.
The win pulled the Mudbugs back to within 10 points of the RiverKings in the Northeast Division with two teams reuniting next weekend for two more games in Bossier Cit
Wow 2007-02-01 21:28:21 Just got a call from my knee guy, and it looks like I better warm up to using the cane. Just when you think life can’t get any suckier, it smacks you upside the head with some amazingly sucky news.
Damn 2007-02-05 23:13:54 Damn, damn, damn. I have to have surgery on Monday. A week to prepare. I can prepare the house, my friends, my family, the kids, and my dog. But how do I prepare me? I so feel that my body betrayed me. I went to sleep one night a healthy, kick ass, 20 something, and woke up with some 90 year old man’s knees. What the hell? So now I get to go through a nice, painful procedure that might help with the pain. Then 6 weeks of my life recovering after that. All for hopefully better knees than I have now.
This sucks.
Poor guy 2007-02-06 16:34:19 What are you going to do? Your company is bankrupt, your boss is dead. Your kids are flying around the galaxy blowing your stuff up. Bummer.
Well, not exactly good news, but…. 2007-02-19 22:53:23 …not too bad, either. I went for my one week post-op appointment today and while Taekwondo and hockey may not be in my future, it looks like I may be walking more comfortably soon. I should be back at work around the 12th of March. So I feel better about my doctor and my care and I think I’m on the right path. I have to learn to deal with the limitations of my knee now, but I think now that I’m “in the know” with my care and the condition of my knee, I should be able to cope better.
Thanks to everyone who’s been hoping and praying for me. I know in my heart it’s helping.
The Rabbi and the Auditor 2007-02-19 15:06:35 At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi
and said, “I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?”
“Good question,” noted the Rabbi.” We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way, “What about all these bread -wafer purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?”
“Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send us a free box of bread - wafers.”
“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he cou Read more:Auditor
Hunk of the day, week, whatever 2007-02-22 19:49:05 Been awhile since I’ve posted one of these. I stumbled across Vincent Spano today while surfing and just had to share. Ahhhh.
Read more:whatever
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