Owner: Ramblings of a Mad Cow URL:http://mschris.hoorayblog.com Join Date: Sat, 19 Aug 2006 18:40:02 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: I am a crazy, bohemian mom, wife, friend and hockey nut. I'm also a Mad Cow.
In what little spare time I have, I enjoy reading, Sci-Fi books and movies, and everything to do with my family. Site statistics:Click here
Great video! 2006-11-27 20:59:31 If you’re looking for a good laugh, check out “Things you CAN’T do if you’re not in a pool!”
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, Great
Grossest fish ever 2006-11-27 20:31:18 Doesn’t this look like it belongs in a cartoon?
Mr. Blobby
Great read 2006-11-28 22:07:32 I got this from my friends over at HBI. Definitely Mad Cow approved reading. Funny, and right on the money, at least my money.
From Guardian Unlimited
In praise of the quickie
Boris Becker is my kind of guy. Who needs sex to last for hours?
Julie Burchill
Thursday April 12, 2001
The Guardian
I don’t “do”, in this order: Germans, blond men, sportsmen or men called Boris. (”Give it to me, Boris!” You couldn’t, could you?) But, should I ever run into the blond German tennis ace Boris Becker, I may well - or would, if I wasn’t a married woman - grab him by his Teutonic shock and drag him into the nearest broom cupboard.
Read the rest here
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More Mad Cow 2006-11-29 15:38:59 Look what my wonderful husband got me on Sunday!
Zombies suing Minneapolis 2006-11-30 22:38:50 Gotta love seeing zombies in the news.
From 5 Eyewitness News
‘Zombies
’ file lawsuit against city of Mpls.
MINNEAPOLIS (AP) - A group of zombies have risen up to claim the city of Minneapolis
and Hennepin County violated their free rights and discriminated against them.
The six adults and one juvenile who were arrested while impersonating the undead in July filed their lawsuit Thursday.
Read the rest here
Hey, don't protest that, you terrorist! 2006-12-01 14:54:32 In another “Smooth move, Exlax” kind of way, President Bush signed into law the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act this past Monday. The AETPA, formerly known as the 1992 Animal Enterprise Protection Act, basically gives federal authorities the power to prosecute animal rights activists that protest as terrorists. That’s right, you read it, if you protest a lab, a puppy farm, a puppy store, etc, in the name of animal rights, and the business loses any profit as a result of the protest, you’re a terrorist.
I have two huge problems with this. Number one, and these are in no particular order, isn’t this a country founded on our rights to free speech and protest? Didn’t some super old guys once write that “But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government“? As an American, if I be
Future All Star 2006-12-01 22:32:41 Here’s Miss Thang, doing her hockey bit during intermission at a RiverKings game.
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Unprecedented child custody ruling 2006-12-02 20:54:43 Unprecedented court ruling
in Cleveland, Ohio
Cleveland, OH (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Cleveland courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody
of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child
custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare of
Support this site 2006-12-04 17:03:04 I broke down and created a cafepress store. I’m selling just a few shirts showing off one of my favorite mad cow productions.
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Happy whatever 2006-12-05 12:23:21 To Whom It May Concern:
Pursuant of legal actions to be taken, the following notice will be posted in a place of prominence
This is to inform you that you are wished a merry period of time up to and including December 25th and a happy period of time after, but not including, December 31st. The dates, December 26th thru December 31st inclusive, can also, for the purposes of this wish, be considered a time of merriment and/or happiness, at your discretion. Please be advised that wishes for peace, goodwill, comfort, and joy are also in effect as of this correspondence.
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, whatever
Ebay is out of control 2006-12-05 17:57:13 Further proof that people really will bid on anything.
The fart of doom 2006-12-05 22:07:23 From WBIR.com
Flatulence, not turbulence forces plane landing in Nashville
Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.
American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.
The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.
The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.
The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.
The flight took off again, but the woman was not
Wild night 2006-12-06 20:23:19 Monday morning a mailman was walking the neighborhood on his usual route.
As he approached one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
“Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night.”
Bob in obvious pain replied, “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?”
The mailman thought for a moment and then said, “How do you play that?”
“Well all the guys go in the bedroom and then come out one at a time with a sheet covering them with only their “privates” showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.”
The mailman laughed and s
We won't forget 2006-12-07 11:32:03
Credit for the photo of the USS Arizona Memorial on the evening of Dec. 7, 1993, U.S. Navy photo N-3228G-001 by Photographer’s Mate 1st Class William R. Goodwin
Image of the USS Arizona after the attack courtesy of the National Park Service
Best manual ever 2006-12-08 16:36:27 Check out this website about the Japanese Wii manual
, it’s hilarious!
A poem 2006-12-08 17:37:09
"ODE TO WINTER"
A poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre
“SHIT, it’s cold!”
The End
Christmas Carols to fit any personality 2006-12-11 16:07:18 1. Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia - I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and…..
6. Paranoid - Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Depression - You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder - Silent night, Holy oooh look at the froggy can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Read more:Carols
, Christmas Carols
Wow is that a bad idea 2006-12-12 19:57:17 Over at Lapstyle they’re selling these fancy-shmancy laptop covers to keep your laptop nice and warm. They’re stylish, and cute, and THICK (well, they sure look thick, I don’t have one in hand).
Just one problem, laptops by nature are already warm. With more than 15 minutes of use they can get positively hot. So why would I want a nice, thick cover for my feverish Powerbook?
Another funny eBay auction 2006-12-12 19:27:19
While I admire his courage, this certainly does NOT make the dress more appealing in my opinion.
Thanks to risingsun for the heads up on that craziness!
New USB drive 2006-12-13 16:32:10 For only Â¥998, you too can have the USB “Humping Dog”
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Great idea 2006-12-13 20:36:52 Check out iPaperCraft and make your very own iPod skin! Here’s the one I made with a photo of Charlie for my Nano.
Definitely earns a Happy Approval Cow stamp for creativity.
Read more:Great
I don't recommend this, but it's funny! 2006-12-14 21:10:25 24 ways to keep your girl happy.
By Chuck Norris.
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better.” This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).
3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If she is, say “you better be.” Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them,
The secret to a happy marriage 2006-12-15 15:03:48 A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay , Jamaica.
Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. “What a peaceful and loving couple”.
The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage
.
“Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America , ” explained the man.
“We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse.
We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, ‘That’s once.”‘”
“We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’”
We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and sho
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