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Prof. Bernard Armstrong - The First Pictures 2007-04-28 19:52:18 As I promised a few days back, here are the first pictures of Bernard
:
No Bernard, you’ve blinked again!
Note: He’s the Pepper and Salt one on top of the pile.
Bernard is only 10 days old in the pictures which means it’s going to be a while until we get to have him pissing on our carpets [...] Read more:Armstrong
, First
, Pictures
Back to Life, Back to Reality 2007-04-22 19:19:47 Probably like most men, I still feel about, ooh, 15 years old on the inside. I pretty much still enjoy the same things now as I did then and in my mind I still look the same. When you talk about kids you quite commonly use the phrase “They think their invincible” but I think [...]
Bernard is Born! 2007-04-20 20:29:08 So the first of our new arrivals was born yesterday morning; Bernard
our Miniature Schnauzer puppy! He was one of a litter of 5 and is the only Pepper and Salt pup in the gang. Hopefully I’ll be getting a picture in a few days and as soon as I do, I’ll post it here.
I [...]
No, I am your Father… 2007-04-15 21:08:33 It happens to every man I’m sure, but today I took a worrying trip into becoming my own father today. Here’s how it happened:
AM: Washed the car.
PM: Watched Grand Prix; fell asleep on sofa.
There are, of course, worse people to become but that doesn’t stop it from disturbing me deeply. The only solace I can [...] Read more:Father
Waiting 2007-04-14 20:33:05 You know, probably one of the main reasons there don’t seem to be many blogs about men expecting to become fathers is because not an awful lot happens.
Days go by and I don’t change. Sometimes I do start to think how dramatically our lives will change, but then a pigeon flies past the window and [...] Read more:Waiting
Another Catch-Up 2007-04-05 20:20:34 Having to post “catch-up” entries can only be a bad thing as it can only mean I haven’t been blogging enough but here goes with a catch-up:
Holiday
Our holiday was great. We spent the best part of the week besides the seaside in Deal and, God, did I need the break. A lot of sunshine, a [...] Read more:Catch
Ladies and Gentlemen… 2007-03-24 23:48:22 Sorry it’s been a few days since I wrote last. Needless to say my life has been a little chaotic. I’m working hard trying to set myself up in business for when junior arrives and working full time as well. In fact I’m doing two jobs at work at the moment which is starting to [...]
Slowly Learning 2007-03-19 22:43:26 I’ve never spent a lot of time around small children (”honest, m’lud”) so I wouldn’t say that I’m expecting too much of my “nuts and bolts” parenting ability. By that I mean nappy changing, feeding, nursing those general things. I think it’s going to be a bit too much like 3 Men and a Baby [...] Read more:Slowly
, Learning
A Dog? 2007-03-16 20:02:51 SO we’re getting a dog. Not content with having a new born baby, we’ve decided that we’d like a dog too. Not just any dog either, oh no, we’re getting a Miniature Schnauzer. We saw Colin from Spaced and decided that if we were to have a dog, this was the dog to have.
A local [...]
American Idol Addiction 2007-03-13 23:50:45 Hi. My name’s Ian and I’m an American
Idol addict.
Yes, I’m afraid to say that even on this side of the pond, there are people addicted to American Idol
. Who can blames us though, as Ryan Seacrest points out every week “Idol is watch by 100 Gazillion people World wide.”. And I’m one of them. [...]
It’s Like the Sistine Chapel in Here 2007-05-06 18:37:47 Well, as my metamorphosis in to my own Dad continues to gather pace, and as we continue to feather our nest, I’ve had to spend today decorating our new bathroom.
This is a bit of a first for me. Although *we* have decorated 2 other rooms in our house since moving in some 5 months ago, I don’t really do much of the decorating, Mrs C does.
This is for two reasons:
Mrs C really enjoys that sort of thing. She’s a real Linda Barker (without the annoyingly scratchy voice or range of Sofas at DFS) when she gets going.
If Mrs C messes it up, she can’t really blame me. “Coward” you may say, but it always turns out for the best because Mrs C NEVER messes it up.
So this morning I made the trip to Focus to buy a couple of new paint rollers and a brush and to psyche myself up by hanging around other DIY’er (”You bet your arse I can do this. Now come on! Let’s paint that Mother” etc).
When I returned home I put on my only pair of jeans Read more:Chapel
We like to share 2007-05-05 11:10:37 We’re now down under 10 weeks until our due date and Mrs C is starting to suffer. I’ve mentioned not being able to put on her shoes any more but now she’s now also noticing just how heavy the baby is becoming.
“I’ve got a really heavy blob in there.” She says.
This might be because the baby was growing faster than normal and if he keeps going at that rate is going to be a right fat lad. It’s not entirely unexpected though. Despite being a thin as a rake now when I was born I was a little on the chubby side. So much so that (embarrassing fact coming up) my Dad called me “Buster” for many, many years. I think it’s fair to say, the kid my be getting some of his *bigness* from me.
So to get some revenge on me for giving her a big baby, Mrs C likes to *accidentally* let me know what it’s like having that lump inside her belly.
If I’ve just finished my dinner, Mrs C likes to put her feet up on my stomach (I should proba
I Bestowe Unto Thee 2007-05-07 13:08:59 One of my strongest memories of home is (Note: I should warn you with this story I’m aiming for something like a sentimental glow but I think this is going to sound somewhere between unbelievably sad and a little pervy. Just a heads up, so you know…) is going through the wardrobe in my Mum and Dad’s bedroom and finding his collection of… albums.
Now, he didn’t have that many records, probably just a dozen, but each one was great. My Dad’s a big fan of The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles so his wardrobe had High Tides and Green Grass, Axis Bold as Love, and Please, Please Me (sadly without the gold label or it would have been worth thousands!) in there. But he also had some other slightly more eclectic stuff for my Dad: Dione Warwick and The Carpenters for instance.
When I first found these, it was in the good old days when our house still had a record player. Oh and how I loved putting records on that player. I really couldn’t care
Paternity in the UK 2007-05-10 20:09:19 With the days counting down, I’m starting to think about what leave I’m going to take from work.
In the UK fathers are give 2 weeks paternity leave which, if you take away the fact that you are looking after a new born baby, doesn’t seem that bad. However, the pay is fairly paltry to say the least. From the Direct Gov Web site:
If your average weekly earnings are £87 or more (before tax), Statutory Paternity
Pay is paid for one or two consecutive weeks at £112.75 or 90 per cent of your average weekly earnings if this is less.
Despite sometimes not feeling so, I do actually earn more that £112.75 a week so having 2 weeks at that pay rate isn’t brilliant for me. Particularly as it comes at a time when we will actually have a new born baby to look after.
Some companies, like the one Mark from Life After Birth works for, are decent enough to parents to give them enhanced paternity packages. The company for which I work, sadly does not.
I’d also been wonder
The Poos are Back in Town 2007-05-09 23:12:54 Oh, I thought we were saved from stories of poo but it seems not.
My brother-in-law has just put his 41/2 month old son onto solids and, after a 3 month absence, the tales of his nappy contents have returned. In a mildly amusing manner at least, I suppose. He told me, rather matter-of-factly, the other day:
“I lost M’s first poo yesterday”.
Strange I thought. I know you are obsessed with M’s poo but I didn’t think for a moment that you would keep hold of his first one.
“What happened? Did you look in the display cabinet but it was no longer there?”
Apparently, there had been some confusion between us, and what had actually happened was *a poo rolled out of M’s nappy* for the first time. And guess what? “When I picked it up, although it looked hard it was squidgy!”. Like a poo almost.
In some ways I am no better than the b-i-l for passing on this treat of a story, but I figured it would lessen my pain if I shared it with you al
It’s Excitement But Not As We Know It 2007-05-14 20:34:59 You know, every now and then I get accused of not really being excited at the prospect of becoming a father. In fact, just this weekend, the father-in-law said to me “You’re more excited that dog (Professor Bernard Armstrong, I think you’ll find) then the baby!”.
In a way he’s right, but also, in another way, he’s wrong.
It’s only going to be a few weeks before we get Bernard. And if all goes to plan, we don’t get the baby for another (let me check…) 58 days. So the arrival of Bernard is possibly a little more on my mind in a “we’re getting him first” sort of way.
I’m also not so concerned about looking after Bernard. I know that you have to walk him a couple of times a day, and he’s going to piss on our carpets and shit in our shoes etc. But I think the bottom line is, dogs are a little easier to look after than babies.
And I think that’s what’s holding me back from full-on excitement ab Read more:Excitement
Go on, Add Me to your Favelets… 2007-05-13 19:18:51 The post is a bit of a shameless plug I’m afraid, but if you click the button below (there’s one in the right-hand column too) you cast a vote for The Expectant Father on a new directory service called Favelets.
The more times that little button is clicked the higher The Expectant Father appears in their listings and hopefully more people will come here and share the enjoyment (or otherwise) that you get from this blog. So please, get clicking:
There seems to be some rules about “Fraudulently created votes will be considered as cheating”. I don’t really know what that means but don’t click too often just in case I’m barred.
Note: I’m not sure if this counts as “writing about writing a blog” but if the universe does end this weekend, you have my sincere apologies.
Cheers for your votes,
Ian (The Expectant Father).
Reclining and Rocking (with Gliding Footstool) Slice of Heaven 2007-05-12 13:56:19 Yesterday we received our Dutailier nursing chair that we ordered many moons ago:
By God, it was worth the wait though. It must genuinely be the most comfortable chair ever made, EVER. We decided to get the matching footstool too, which means you can put your feet up, recline the chair and rock yourself off to the land of nod.
It worked it’s magic on Mrs C this morning, as despite sleeping in until 10, by 11 she was nearly back asleep in the chair.
The only down side with the chair is that our charming 2 bedroom house, is now becoming a very cramped 2 bedroom house.
Oh well, when you’re rocking away, dreaming your on a hammock on a tropical island, who cares how much space there is in the living room? Read more:Reclining
, Slice
, Heaven
I Wish I’d Known - Part 1 2007-05-20 20:22:40 I’m starting to think that it’s time to get myself just a little more prepared for the big day when it finally comes. So this is the first in what I hope will be a regular series on The Expectant Father called I Wish I’d Known.
I’ve asked a few bloggers from around the Web to play the role of Parental Advisor and send me 2 things: a memory of the weeks leading up to the birth of their child and the one thing they wished they’d known before the birth that they know now.
I’m pleased to say that the first two Parental Advisors are Graham Jones, the Internet Psychologist, and Liz Strauss, the Successful Blogger.
Graham Jones
Graham is a guru of all things internet and offers particularly sage advice about online marketing. Graham has a seven year old son, Elliot:
“When my wife was pregnant with Elliot, I had a meeting with my accountant. He told me that if we had any major projects we wanted to spend money on, now was the time to do it. After your
These Hands 2007-05-20 13:56:35 After my experiences with Bernard falling asleep (with the aid of a little stroking) on the palm of my hand, it seems that the same trick works to calm unborn junior.
Mrs C is getting to the point in pregnancy where she is quickly tiring of the baby squirming and kicking and desperately trying to move around in her womb. Obviously a stubborn and determined child; the fact that he is growing faster than the space available does nothing to slow him down.
Mrs C sits there watching her belly moving like John Hurt’s chest in Alien knowing that she’s got another 7 and a bit weeks to go before anything comes out. If I’m within grabbing distance she will pull my hand onto her tummy and every time without fail the boy stops wriggling. As if to say: “No you shall not feel me move!”.
Anyway this does mean that I have been promoted to Chief Baby Soother. Particularly useful when Mrs C is trying to get off to sleep at night but the boy has other ideas. 2 minutes tummy Read more:Hands
withcharacter.com Web Site 2007-05-20 13:48:14 NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID REVIEW:
When i was a child I was a big fan of the He-Man cartoons (probably one of the reasons I’ve turned out so muscular) and as such I always wanted new He-Man toys, books, clothes. It wasn’t until many years later watching Father Ted on TV that I realised I missed out on an entire range of products that I could have forced my Mum and Dad to buy me. I’m talking about Dougal’s He-Man duvet cover. I can only imagine that it would have been like sleeping in the bed at Castle Greyskull. Happy times.
I’m certain that I was like every child. I had a favourite cartoon and wanted all the stuff I could get my hands on that had a picture of it on. They just never seem to have much more than the occasional toy in the local department store.
Fortunately for the modern child there’s a better way to get their hands on their favourite cartoon character, courtesy of withcharacter.com. They sell baby gear that’s branded with a n
Bernard Update 2007-05-19 16:42:45 Today was a pretty good day for us. We went to see Bernard
for the first time.
I mean, he’s a puppy yes, so he has the built in cute factor that makes people want to have puppies. But I think both Mrs C and I fell in love with him today. He really looks the dogs… er… pyjamas (this is a family blog!):
I held in on the palm of my hand for about 30 minutes. He lay there quietly, not a whimper and after 10 minutes stroking he fell asleep. By all accounts he’s normally a little feistier than this but he isn’t the trouble maker in the litter. Which is nice.
Another 4 weeks and we’ll have him home and I just cant wait! Read more:Update
Mid-wives Make us Frightened 2007-05-18 20:19:35 Mrs C went for another check-up with the mid-wife yesterday. Fortunately the baby seems to be back on track in terms of growth. So no more little baby-Jabba; which is a particular relief to Mrs C. Although there seem to be few things that could make her forward to giving birth any less, having to squeeze out the Michelin baby could push her over the edge.
One thing the mid-wife said though, I think it’s fair to say, frightened Mrs C:
“If you just 2 days late don’t come for the sweep. Wait until 6 days or more.”
“OK” was all Mrs C could muster. When really she was thinking “What the hell is ‘the sweep’?”
When she told me I could only image in involved a Victorian cockney child with a blackened face a painful looking brush. Apparently the truth isn’t much nicer but is slightly more medical.
Let’s hope Mrs C doesn’t need sweeping at all… Read more:wives
Top Blog Mag Article 2007-05-22 12:05:26 So, I’ve written an article for the weekly online blog publication Top Blog Mag!
You can read it here.
It was supposed to be gently humourous but now I re-read it, I probably should have re-read it before sending it in.
Oh well. Try not to laugh so hard that some of your internal body parts explode.
And while you’re at it, vote for me!
(Last time I promise.) Read more:Article
The Expectant Father Store Grand Opening 2007-05-25 08:43:01 Warning! Blogging about Blogging Follows:
Part of me writing this here blog it to try and help support the family when Mrs C returns to work and I become a Stay at Home Dad. I’ve been contemplating a few things over the past weeks and after reading Darren Rowse experiences I’ve made an addition to this site.
Yes, I’ve just added an Amazon.com aStore
to this site. Check it out, then check out some goods (do you see what I’ve done there, do you?).
The store can pretty much be classified as Stuff to Buy Babies, but there’s also a section for Dads and Moms (I’ve gone American for the purpose of making cold hard cash). I do have control over what appears so if you’d like to see anything there that isn’t at the moment, just leave me a comment and I’ll make the change.
As the store is provided by Amazon you can log in and shop with your existing Amazon ID and the store is just as secure as Amazon.com.
I believe that I may need to get more Read more:Father
, Grand
I’ve got that Guilty Feeling 2007-05-25 03:30:53 I’ve started to notice over the past week or so that I’ve been feeling a little bit guilty that Mrs C is struggling along with pregnancy and, to all intents and purpose, I’m not.
Because we’re in this together, right? Well yes, but then again, in one fairly obvious way, no.
As much I can care and support Mrs C she’s the one that has someone growing inside her that kicks and wriggle and gets the hiccups.
Just recently Mrs C has started waking up in the early hours of the morning (5 o’clock today, 4 o’clock yesterday, 5 the day before…) and she’s become more and more tired as a result. And how it’s making me feel guilty about not being the one waking up.
The other night Mrs C woke up at 5 and put the light on and decided to read. Because I sleep like a ninja the sound of Mrs C turning the light on woke me up too.
“Do you want me to go downstairs?” She asked me.
My sleepy brain was screaming “Yes!” but I Read more:Guilty
, Feeling
Mums Net - Voices from the Front Line 2007-05-28 11:32:31 I’ve decided that to help move my I Wish I’d Known series along a little bit, I’d ask for some advice and tips from the users at Mumsnet.com forums.
And boy, did they ever give some advice. I was really overwhelmed by the number of responses. I’d like to say a big thank you to all the mums and mums-to-be in the Pregnancy chat room for their input.
Just before I move on I must admit that I’m a little uncertain as to some of the lingo used in the forum. It’s kind of a mums’ text speak. For example, when referring to their partners they use the abbreviate ‘DH’. Now, I’m hoping this is short for (a possibly ironic) ‘darling husband’ but I fear, dear reader, that sometime it may be used in anger as ‘dick head’… but I can’t be sure (maybe someone from Mumsnet can explain) .
Anyway, without further ado, when I asked for advice for Expectant Fathers here’s what they had to say:
Make Life a Li Read more:Voices
, Front
Give TopBlogMag a Vote 2007-06-02 03:53:33 I know I have been asking you to vote for stuff quite a bit recently but…
Heather over at TopBlogMag has asked those of us who have written for the magazine to add the button below to our blogs. If you click it, you cast a vote in the Blogging to Fame contest designed to make the winning blogger rich and famous (what more could a blogger possibly want?):
Heather, being a very good bean, has decided to split any winnings with her writers. So your vote could put another pair of shoes on Junior’s feet one day. Go on click away!
Having just tried it myself, I should warn you there is some registration required…
Cheers, Ian.
Congratulations Mark and Sara 2007-06-01 12:46:39 Mrs C and I would like to pass on our heartiest congratulations to Mark and Sara from Life After Birth on the birth of their daughter, “Quiche”. Read more:Congratulations
The First Test 2007-05-30 13:04:08 Yesterday provided me with the first real test of my “whatever’s wrong with me isn’t as hard as being pregnant” stance. I’ve had a good old dose of *man-flu* and, felling a little under the weather, I just had to have the day off work.
Now, I’m going to stick up for man-flu suffers around the globe here because OK, maybe I wasn’t going to die but I did actually feel unwell. I spent the day in front of the tele with a couple of DVD’s and the occasional “Murder She Wrote” episode. Mrs C on the other hand spent the day at work, soldiering on as usual.
By the time she got home, she was pretty knackered (apparently that can happen if you carry 2 extra stone around all day) and I wasn’t feeling much different.
As I watched her slowly nodding-off in the nursing chair, I thought “Hmm, now I’m faced with a choice. Do I wallow in self pity or get up and make us both tea?”.
Making tea won.
Now, I’m not after Read more:First
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