Owner: The Mother's Handbook.net URL:www.mothershandbook.net Join Date: Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:50:11 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Mother of 4 blogs about the people who make mother's lives miserable. Irreverent, sarcastic "advice" on dealing with kids, strangers and those "mothers of perfect children." Site statistics:Click here
Pregnant Busybodies 2009-01-23 05:00:17 There’s something about a pregnant woman that invites everyone she meets to talk to her. People who never spoke to her for the seven years that she has shared an elevator with them suddenly have a vested interest in her health, her pregnancy, and her life.
So, since the constant heartburn, unrelenting nausea, basketball pushing into [...]
Beware the Diaper Bag 2009-01-22 11:16:09 Beware the diaper bag.
Young moms spend their lives with a loaded diaper bag on one shoulder, and a baby on the opposite hip. The diaper bag generally weighs more than the baby.
When your kids are young, that’s fine. You’re invincible (well, until noon, anyway). You’re young.
By the time your kids are around twelve, you have [...] Read more:Beware
, Diaper
Doesn’t Anyone at the MPAA Have Teenagers? 2009-01-21 06:35:56 What were they thinking?
“Slumdog Millionaire” has to be the whiny-teenager must-see movie of the decade. And they gave it an R?
Granted, they torture the hell out of the kid in the first ten minutes, but it’s not anything more than one sees in the PG-13 shoot-em-up flicks. And then there’s that scene where they gouge [...] Read more:Anyone
, Teenagers
Crotchety Old Men 2009-01-20 08:17:51 Every parent who has been out of the house with her children has run into a Crotchety Old Man (COM). These are the retirees who are so old that they don’t remember what it was like to be a parent, let alone a kid.
They stare at your children with an evil eye that rivals Sauron. [...]
The Secret to Losing that Pregnancy Weight 2009-01-18 09:02:06 I bet you think I’m going to say nursing. Wrong, but good guess. Nursing does give the baby some of your calories every day. I wholeheartedly approve of nursing.
I was going to say toddlers. And tantrums.
Did anyone see “Desperate Housewives” last Sunday? (Granted, I watched it on Thursday, but that’s what TIVO is for).
Gabriel’s daughter [...] Read more:Pregnancy
, Weight
The Parent Teacher Conference 2009-01-15 05:00:20 It goes like this:
“Mrs. insert-your-name-here?” (never mind that you haven’t been a Mrs., ever. They can’t use the title, you see, because they have a BA and you have fifteen years of higher education, and they are trying REALLY hard to tell you that they know much more about the subject—your kid—than you do).
“Yes.” (Because [...] Read more:Parent
, Teacher
Whose Snot is it, Anyway? 2009-01-14 05:00:47 Way back in the dark ages, the great minds were convinced that you caught cold by being cold. We still have a few people out there who believe that (see: Mothers-in-law).
Then folks like Pasteur and Hooke and Jenner and Lister came around and invented the Germ Theory of Disease. It goes like this: your kid [...] Read more:Anyway
Mommenfreude 2009-01-13 05:00:34 The hysterically sarcastic woman who blogs at A Lawyer Mom’s Musings coined a new word in her latest post. Mommenfreude is the feeling of satisfaction that nosy mothers get when other mothers screw up.
Personally, I think this word should be nominated for “word of the year” (Remember Stephen Colbert and “truthiness”?).
We all know these women. [...]
Pregnancy Rots Your Brain 2009-01-12 05:00:54 The hormones of pregnancy, I discovered, kick in very fast. I know this, because seconds after announcing that I was, indeed, pregnant, I became a complete imbecile. While moments before, I was a smart, competent professional, my husband now knew that I needed him to take care of me. I was unable to make even [...] Read more:Pregnancy
, Brain
Why “The Mother’s Handbook?” 2009-01-11 05:15:46 I was raised by an emergency room nurse. She spent her entire professional life making life and death decisions, arguing with doctors, and running from one crisis to another.
What she didn’t do was put up with nosy strangers.
Some of my fondest memories of my mom are of watching her interact with other people. In her [...] Read more:Handbook
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