Owner: A Bittersweet Life URL:http://nando.myacen.com/blog/ Join Date: Sat, 19 Aug 2006 15:29:42 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: In this blog I write mainly about my useless thoughts, likes and dislikes and my pathetic life. Nothing very interesting, really! Site statistics:Click here
Very Wise Words 2006-10-21 02:30:48 "I just think reality TV showcases all the lowest forms of human nature. In effect, it’s a freak show," he rants. "Creativity is bound up in being eccentric, being different, not just giving the people what they want. What you need to do is to elevate things, to take things beyond the norm. Reality TV shows don’t encourage that whatsoever. They dumb everything down to horrible, uniform level of acceptable talent."
"The only people with less talent than the worst performers are actually the judges … The sight of all the judges back-slapping themselves like a pack of smug hyenas does nothing for me whatsoever," he continues. "I know people like it, but so what? I’m sure people would like watching snuff movies, too, but that doesn’t make it right."
Who is "He"? A kit-kat for the first guesser!
Read more:Words
Aging or maturing? 2006-10-16 15:28:02 Sir Sean Connery once said this great sentence: "Some age, others mature". I still don't know in which part of the sentence I am...
What I know is that I'm indeed getting old, but not necessarily aging or maturing. And I don't know this by finding some white hair in my head (yes, I've already found some). I know this by finding out that some nice teachers I had in high school are dead. Two of them have just died. One died last month and the other one a few days ago. I also know that I'm getting old by finding out that very nice places where I used to hang out when I was younger, don't exist anymore. Places where I used to go with my girlfriends for example, also don't exist anymore. They're all memories now...
Now, may I ask you a question Sir Sean Connery: Can we mature without aging?
While I wait for your answer, I'll keep thinking and trying to figure out how I managed to waste 28 years of my life...
Oh, and by the way, I'm also currently avoiding unecessary social int Read more:Aging
Trendy 2006-10-14 02:52:23 I bought a new pair of trainers today. It's an Adidas Spezial.
I don't know who decided that 80s stuff is cool again, but I decided to stick with fashion this time. I guess for the first time in my life I'm flowing with what society dictates. And If by any chance I find a green version of this same trainers, I'll definetely buy them!
In addition, I've started working out again at the gym and I'm also swimming 3-5 times a week at the club (I'm now swimming almost 1000 metres per day). What harm can these things bring to me? Not a single one, I guess. And maybe, only maybe, my petite can notice me on the streets.
Read more:Trendy
Memory Lapses 2006-10-11 03:01:59 Is this some sort of sign? Should I be worried at all? I've had a memory lapse. Somehow I managed to forget most of the things I did from Saturday around 6 PM to Monday. Do you want examples? Here they go:
The last thing I remember from Saturday was that I went to work, I gave my classes and my pupils from the 2PM class made me a surprise birthday party and after that they gave me a ride home. I DO remember (vaguily) putting some left overs of the party in the fridge and eating while watching a little bit of TV. What did I do after this? I have no bloody idea!
On Sunday happened pretty much the same thing. I had a private class to give in the morning, however I woke up a bit late, so I left home without having breakfast. I went to my pupil's house. I DO NOT remeber what we studied that day and I DO NOT remember what I had for breakfast at his house. All I know is that I had breakfast, and that's because I always have breakfast with him on Sundays.
I also remember going to my gran Read more:Memory
One Week 2006-10-06 02:22:35 It took exactly one week for me to get back to real life and realize how it sucks. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since I arrived in São Paulo, where I lived the perfect life for almost 4 days. Well maybe the word perfect is too strong here. Let's say I lived a dream life for 4 days, I guess it's better this way.
To make things worse my birthday is arriving. God, I hate my birthday! What are all those forced phone calls from false people we recieve on birthdays? I wish I could skip this day, you know? Or at least be unreachable from tomorrow till the 9th or 10th, this way I would also avoid some late calls. You can add this to all that feeling of wasted time. What have I done in the last 28 years? Pretty much nothing. And the sensation of already being old enough for not trying certain new things? Even worse...
The Rio Film Festival started 2 weeks ago and I haven't watched as many films as I wanted. In fact I only watched 2, which is very few if you compare to previous years. Thi Read more:One Week
São Paulo - Day 3 - Post 2 2006-09-25 07:16:28 Back from the gig: It was amazing!
But let me tell you what happened earlier.
I did go to the art gallery, which had a very interesting exibition about artificial emotion or something like that. I hope they'll show it in Rio so I can see it again more calmly.
Then I went straight back to the hotel and called my mate Tribuzy. He had just arrived here and was having lunch at McDonald's. So I went there to meet him. We went to the venue where we met the rest of the band. While there we chatted a lot and I helped them a little bit with the equipment and stuff like that.
Back to the hotel again, called my other mates and none of them wanted to go to the gig with me. Marise was tired from the previous night, Alex had to babysit his little brother and Ju didn't manage to get the VIP pass. After this very little disapointment I took a nap and woke up almost at the time of the gig.
Went to the venue, picked my VIP pass and walked in. Tribuzy wasnt there but the rest of the band was. We Read more:Paulo
São Paulo - Day 3 - Post 1 2006-09-24 17:07:38 It's Sunday morning, I've just come back from a walk in the Ibirapuera park. Still don't know what I'm going to do now. My mate Tribuzy will be arriving in a few hours. I want to go go to an art gallery but don't know if I will have the time. Let's see...
Well, I'm now going to tell you what I was going to tell you yesterday.
I've found myself here. The real me, who was lost inside that bitter, dry, sad guy who lives in Rio.
You must see me here. Wherever I go I talk to people, strange people I have never seen before. I start conversations out of the blue, I tell jokes, they laugh... I had forgotten how funny I can be. I also talk to girls easily, very easily. They seem to like to talk to me too. Oh, and by the way, the girls here are very beautiful, very elegant. It's different from the girls in Rio. I can't explain how, though. I fall in love for a different girl in every street corner I go, really! lol
The big question is: Is the real me going to hide inside myself the Read more:Paulo
São Paulo - Day Two - Post 2 2006-09-24 06:39:04 I know I promised to tell you an interesting thing. Well, for now I'll just tell you what else happened today, which is also interesting (at least for me). The other interesting thing I'll tell later, maybe tomorrow morning. I'm too tired right now to write about it.
We indeed had a little party at Marise's house. When I came back to the hotel just a little after my last entry here, I took a little nap and was woken up by my mate Alexandre a couple of hours later. Marise had called him before and told everybody to meet at her place at around 7 PM.
So I went to that fancy supermarket, bought a bottle of nice chilean wine and a piece of great dutch cheese. Alex picked me up at the hotel and we wento to Marise's place. A few minutes later our friend Juliana arrived with her husband. We also ordered a couple of pizzas. We ate, we drank, we talked (a lot!), we watched dvds... It was fun. Now it's 1:40 AM and I'm here writing this and talking to a great friend on msn. Must go back t Read more:Paulo
São Paulo - Day Two - Post 1 2006-09-23 20:40:07 I woke up early today and had a big breakfast at the hotel (hotel breakfasts are great, arent they?)
I noticed I was very tired and had pains on my body due to the work outs of the previous day, so after breakfast I went out for a quick walk and then I got back to the hotel for a quick swim (30-40 minutes, no more than that).
After that I decided to go to the japanese neighborhood. Ive been to São Paulo
quite a few times before but this was the first time I went there. I really liked it, its pretty impressive. All those japanese markets, shops, restaurants, all those people speaking japanese. Very interesting! I dont know if you know, but Brazil is the place (SP specially) where there is the biggest concentration of japanese people outside Japan.
Then I went to the city centre again to have lunch. I called Marise to see what we would do later today and well, we still havent decided. Im going back to the hotel now and maybe Ill take a little nap, I dont know... Marise is trying
São Paulo - Day One 2006-09-23 07:30:31 I arrived here at around 5:30 AM and therefore I had nothing to do at this time in the morning. While still at the bus station I went to the newsstand, bought the paper, had a cup of coffee and killed a little time.
Then I took the metro till Santa Cruz station where I was suposed to take another bus to arrive in Moema, the area where my hotel is. The little ride: metro + bus did not take more than 25 minutes and I arrived at the hotel so early that I couldn't do the check in. But I managed to leave my bags there and went for a walk in the Moema area. I had a little map with me, which I had printed it the day before still at home. The map is great, very precise and full of details. I got to know the surroundings very easily.
Then I went to the supermarket to buy some essential things, and well, what a supermarket! Note that I am used to go to the fanciests supermarkets in Rio and I've been to great supermarkets in Europe, but this one I went early this morning is probably the great Read more:Paulo
, Day One
São Paulo, here I come 2006-09-21 19:35:13 I hope by 6 AM tomorrow I'll already be in São Paulo
. I'm taking the last bus to SP tonight. The road trip takes sometime between 5 and 6 hours, depending on road conditions.
Since my birthday is apporaching, I managed to get a free weekend in SP as a gift from Dad. This little trip has everything to be great. I'll visit a few friends, I have plans to visit some specific places, eat in specific restaurants (yes, that will be a gastronomic orgy - wait and see!!). And on Sunday my great friend Tribuzy will be playing there, in a venue called Blackmore, and I'm going as a guest. How great, huh?
And the most important thing is: I'll run from this hell! Even if it's just for 3 or 4 days. So what? It will be more than perfect.
You can expect loads of pics when I come back, and you may as well expect a daily report from there. (If there's a webcafe around the hotel, that is.)
Just a life sign 2006-09-18 03:07:31 Basically, my life is so boring, it's embarrassing. I don't think I have anything interest to tell you. I just want to write here to let you know I'm not dead, you know?
I've been pretty much doing the same thing as always, nothing different has happened.
What I noticed lately is that I have been listening to music a lot. At least, it's a lot more if you compare with what I had been listening before. Skunkworks is back as my favorite soundtrack followed closely by Blaze's last album: Blood & Belief. They are very depressive albums, specially the latter. Very strong lyrics. It makes me think a lot about my current situation. Notice that I didn't say that it helps me in anyway. It just makes me think, which is not good at all.
What I also noticed was the fact that I've been paying a lot more atention on film dialogues, song lyrics, somebody else's quotes. I don't know if you think like me, but a quote sometimes can mean more than a whole book. Sometimes the impact it cau
Recent Pictures 2006-09-11 03:44:42 The cold has finally decided to arrive, so I took my leather overcoat from the closet and decided to take a few pics. Here's the result:
More pics can be found either on my flickr account or my pictures gallery.
Read more:Recent
, Pictures
Maiden Charts 2006-09-11 03:35:33 I'll try to make this post the last one about Maiden
for a long time, I promise. The thing is that there isn't much going on with my life. At least nothing that deserves being mentioned here.
So here is the proof that Maiden is still rocking the whole world. Look at the charts positions:
Album:
Finland #1 (two weeks in a row ! Gold status)
Italy #1
Germany #1
Czech Republic # 1
Switzerland #2
Norway #2
UK #4 (sales topping 45,000)
Spain #4
France #5 (downloads: #7)
Ireland #5
Netherlands #7
Australia #12
New Zealand #34
Croatia #1
Slovenia #1
Poland #1 (from #6 in 1st week)
Hungary #2 (from #5 in first week)
Austria #4
Denmark #8
Belgium #8
No charts information in Sweden yet, but the album sales are topping 30,000, which gave it a Gold Status.
In North America, sales are reaching the 60,000 level, which is a third more than 'Dance of Death' (their previous album)
Single: (The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg)
Spain #1 (two weeks in a row!)
Sweden #1 (two weeks in a row! #3 a Read more:Charts
Now it's 'Arry time to speak about Sharon 2006-09-04 22:51:04 Here's an extract of what Steve Harris (Iron Maiden bassist and leader) said about last year's incident at Ozzfest and, of course, Sharon
Osbourne in a recent interview to Metal Hammer Spain.
Q: Now I am going to ask you about another subject, although I do not want to insist much on it: last years Ozzfest. You have always been a professional band that has kept the shit under the carpet and has not discussed their issues in the press. However, it seemed that there were some problems among Bruce and the rest of the band.
S: We are professional musicians and we acted like that. They would have preferred if we had gone away from the stage, I’m sure, but we didn’t. The great thing is that the audience was with us and when the PA sound was cut, they supported us. That made me feel proud and actually gave me goose bumps. It was incredible what happened. It’s not that they threw shit to us, as our own road crew has done too when we ended other tours (laughs), but it̵ Read more:speak
Astonished 2006-10-23 02:31:54 So there I was in the Workshop. There was a lunch break between the first and second parts of it. Right after finishing the first part he left the stage and went straight to the back of the theatre, where his wife and his other friend were. So, I decided to go towards him.
Yes, I am being very inigmatic here, but it was just the first paragraph. Now I've just decided to let you know the details...
So there I was in Roy Z's Workshop. There was a lunch break between the first and second parts of it. Right after finishing the first part he left the stage and went straight to the back of the theatre, where his wife and my friend Renato Tribuzy (you, who read this blog know who Tribuzy is, right?) were. So, I decided to go towards him. And the most surreal thing happend:
Me: "Hi Roy. How are you doing? Very nice workshop so far."
Roy: "Hi Fernando..."
Yes, he remembered me!!!! Me, the most unimpressive person on bloody Earth. Ok, let's continue...
Roy: "Hi Fernando. How are you? I
Extra 2006-10-26 21:04:44 There's always a first time for everything in life, right? So this morning was my first time as a film extra. Me, the same guy who is completely terrified by camcorders since the day I was born.
A great friend of mine who has recently graduated from Cinema College is now making his first film and he invited me to be an extra. This was his second invitation, since I promptly refused the first one.
Then I thought, well it's not like people will notice me on the screen, right? I'll be in the background and people will pay atention to the actors, they won't even see me! So, why not?
Not mentioning the fact that it is a good excuse to leave 'my cave' and meet new people, which is always a very nice (even if I'm currently avoiding unecessary social interatcion) thing to do.
So I arrived there, said hello to my friend who almost immediately introduced me to all the people around and when I least expected there was a girl putting make up on me! How do women stand make up, huh? It' Read more:Extra
Wrong Impression 2006-10-31 01:46:48 I don't know why but people always seem to have a wrong impression of me. They tend to think I'm way better than I really am. Why? And lately I've been noticing this happening more constantly... (or maybe I just hadn't noticed before)
Here are some things people told me not so long ago:
- "You are soooo cute. You know that, don't you?"
- "I really like you, you are so inteligent..."
- "You are very gentle, polite, patient, smart..."
- "There are so many people that want you around"
- "You seem to have so many friends."
- "You know a lot about everything, you could keep talking for hours and hours..."
- "I can't understand your situation. You're such an interesting guy. How come no one can be interested in you?"
Of course these sentences came from different people. Actually it doesn't matter who said them. What matters now is to find out if there's any truth about them. I still don't think so...
Read more:Wrong
, Impression
Roy Z 2006-11-07 00:23:00 A few posts ago I wrote about how stonished I was because Roy Z remembered me and he even remembered my name one year after we met for the first time. So after that day, Roy left town with my mate Tribuzy and they went to the south of the country for a week, where Roy would do a series of workshops and guest apearences.
Well, last Wednesday was time for me to be even more astonished again. I got an email from Roy, saying that he was in town and he would like to hook up somewhere. Everything happened too fast, and not after very long my mate Tribuzy was in my car and I was on my way to pick Roy at the hotel. We took him to the Christ Statue, then we took him to a great restaurant where we ate till we couldn't see anymore food in front of us. After that we took Roy to a local rock gig and after that we went to Lapa, a neighbourhood from Rio where the samba was born and we stayed there till early in the morning. I had loads of fun, the people who were with us too, but I can easily say t
Long time no see 2006-11-17 00:13:28 Long time no see you guys, right? Nothing much happening here as usual. Still strongly currently avoiding unecessary social interaction, but somehow I managed to meet nice new people.
Somehow I also manged to start getting into the music world once again. This new friends I met are either musicians or work with/for musicians. There's also a raw plan for starting a band, but just for fun only. Just covering classic stuff to play in pubs and stuff like that. Any ideas for band names? Send them over!
Besides that I'm still swimming three times (sometimes 4) a week and trying my best to work out at the gym from Monday to Friday.
Oh, I already have a plane ticket scheduled for December 18. I'm going to visit my father and see my brothers. I miss my sister and the little guys terribly and I hope to stay there for at least 2 weeks.
New Home 2007-06-20 20:15:21 This site has a new home: www.fernandosouza.org
This blog won't disappear, it just won't be updated anymore. Things are not going to change at all, I'll just be posting from now on, on the new blog linked above. The new domain fernandosouza.org is now working and this domain abittersweetlife.net will soon be redirected to the new blog and this blog will be linked there. So don't worry, you will still be able to check this place whenever you want.
See you in the new blog... Read more:New Home
It fucking hurts! 2007-06-07 17:50:06 Some few posts back I posted about hurting then (at the time) or hurting later. I chose later (how stupid) and later came early this morning around 3 a.m. The result so far is a sleepless night (with a second on its way) and an entire day without eating anything. When will this shit end, huh?
Sorry, I won't tell you what happened simply because it's a long story and difficult to put on words. There will probably be more chapters in it, but I'm not sure whether I want to get involved or not. But since I'm bloody stupid and never learn, I suppose I'll keep posting about what happens. It's a way of getting the stuff out of me, somehow... Read more:fucking
No title 2007-06-05 19:54:39 I've just got my friend's Renato Tribuzy newest cd - Execution Live Reunion - and it was a cool surprise to see my name mentioned on the "thank you" section of the cd booklet. It was the 2nd time this happened. The first time was a few years ago, when my name appeared on the Sack Trick - Sheep in Kiss Make-up album. So fucking cool!
Fears 2007-06-04 19:34:33 I hate not having the feeling to know exactly what's going on between us. Sometimes it seems obvious that there is a thing, sometimes everything gets cloudy and what seemed obvious turns out to be not even possible.
Of course that the fact of me being completely crazy about her affects my judgment and I see everything the way I want to see, creating a wrong/false impression that only makes things worse. These things (her acts) are at least weird. That's how some friends of mine described them when I told them what had happened. These weird things keep happening and I don't know where they will take me, or her, or even us.
I know I should talk to her, but then I'm just too scared of what might happen. If she's just a friend and if that's how she wants to stay, things will just be strange Read more:Fears
Good-bye Z! 2007-05-27 16:42:45 My friend Z went to SP this morning. Good-bye my friend, see you soon!
Damn, this whole week was so damn fun! Specially last night, big metal event that lasted for almost 5 hours, met great friends, talked a lot of bullshit too. At 1 am we (me + 3 friends, 2 being girls) left the club and went straight to the other side of the city (and what a huge city this is!) where we arrived at almost 2, and went to say good-bye to Z. When we arrived he had already stopped playing, but as soon as he saw us, he played one extra song to his "VIP guests" as he said... After that we just talked and he shared some 'kin funny stories to end a perfect night. We left the place at almost 4 AM. The trip back home was fun too, you have no idea of what a drunk friend can talk on the back seat of your car. Oh we
Mr. Z 2007-05-22 19:33:15 My first post from my laptop and it had to be about Z, the guy who made it possible. I had forgotten how much fun I could still have in a simply random night. Thanks for all the gifts you brought me, thanks for the fun and the laughs too, those were priceless. See you again, tomorrow or thursday? Hopefully more laughs and silly stuff to talk about. hehehe
Laptop 2007-05-20 19:38:17 Yes, that's what you've just read on the title! L-a-p-t-o-p
I've just got a brand new one! My first one to be more exact. And thanks to my friend Roy Z, who brought it extremely cheap from L.A. this morning. I went to pick him up at the airport, we chatted for a long while, went shopping for clothes, I took him to the apartment were he's staying for the week and that's pretty much it.
And no, I'm not posting this from my laptop because the battery has already gone down. And no, I can't charge it or plug it to the electricity simply because 2 of Roy's bags were lost and my power input was in one of them. Now we must wait for American Airlines to find his bags and deliever them properly. This may take a couple of days and in the meantime I can't use my new toy. Unless I spend a ridiculous Read more:Laptop
The Secret Plan 2007-05-10 11:53:03 I have just now remembered that I hadn't revealed my secret plan. That's what I'm going to do now...
See, the tip was already given, you just weren't able to figure it out. And also you will notice that it's not so much of a big deal! :p
I'm in a band now. A Rock band. It doesn't mean that I want to be a rock star, though. The plan is very simple: to have fun with friends. Rehearsing and playing whenever and wherever as possible.
The band is called Rachel Black (website soon to be available), and we play rock. We don't write our songs (in the future, who knows?), we just play all the good stuff that was previously written by rock gods.
Here's is a lousy recording of a lousy performance of a lousy rehearsal. Special note for our v.i.p. guests in the room with us that day: the guys from
Only two options 2007-05-07 20:35:33 So my friend was talking to her earlier today. He kind of let her know what was going on and she kind of let him know that I don't have a green light.
So, I believe I have 2 options:
1- Forget everything and hurt now;
2- Or hurt later by trying slowly to aim a future possibility, and of course, getting the red light again;
Since man is a stupid kind of animal, specially the ones who have feelings for a certain girl, I'm almost decided to choose option 2.
Last night's balance 2007-05-06 17:45:48 Let's say from ZERO to 5, my last night's balance was:
Before party: 1.5 (being extremely positive)
After party: - 10 (yes, MINUS TEN)
And no, it's not my bank account balance. It's the balance of my saga trying to find the way to a girl's heart. :-/
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