Owner: Blast Shields Down URL:http://blastshieldsdown.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Wed, 25 Apr 2007 16:38:53 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A place for the writings of two college students from Michigan, covering topics ranging from literature to movies, philosophy to pop culture, politics to insane ramblings and everything in between. Site statistics:Click here
"Check it out… he’s a DRACULA!!” 2007-04-24 09:46:00 So, you know the Universal Monsters? Yeah. Me too. And, for a while, I thought everyone did. But no.I’m not even going to get into Frankenstein (that’ll come another time), but Dracula; aw boy. He’s a pimp, that’s a fact. Not only does he live in a castle swerving game all over some nasty vixen , dress to impress rockin’ a cape, and suck on necks like it ain’t no thing, but he’s also been the father to more horror stories and creations than any other of the Universal Monsters. Don't believe me, check it out: Blacula, Count Von Count “the Count”, Dr. Acula, Alucard, and any guy that whore Buffy ever got down with. Oh, and about a googolplex of porno characters. Yeah boiiiiiii! Oh, and Batman. Oh, and Nelson too.But honestly, Dracula, he’s taking a beating. I kind of feel bad for him. No, I really do feel bad for him. Bram Stoker wrote him as a caricature of evil, a stereotypes of the dark and the dirty and the incredibly sexy. Dracula was those things t Read more:Check
A Siren's Call 2007-04-22 21:40:00 I wrote this a few months ago, and while I have already released it onto the web, I figured I’d post it here with a few minor revisions so that it can be with the brethren that sprung from it. Because, it’s the spark that started this whole thing, at least for me. It began like this… and everything sort of took off from there. I never write anymore, I used to, constantly. Letters, words, sentences flowing from my fingers through the keys and appearing almost instantaneously onto that big, bright convex screen, streams of consciousness just rushing from my brain to my fingertips. I wrote a lot, it was soothing, cathartic, and my company in the dark, me, my mind and the screen. And it always returned to the same feeling. Now the screen is flat, and the colors are sharper, but nothing has truly changed the experience. I just don’t do it. I used to. A lot. Sometimes I think about it, and I long for it, sometimes I wonder why I don’t write anymore. Sure, I write… Read more:Siren
Half-Mast 2007-04-17 20:31:00 A flag stands for so much. History, culture, government, peoples, countries, ideas… It satisfies the universal human need for symbolism, a need to define the intangible with the concrete. It represents so much for so many people.The flag, the star spangled banner, possibly symbolizes more than any other. It is truth, justice and the American way personified. It’s the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the National Anthem. It’s the 13 Colonies, and all those states. The red, white and blue are the colors of our forbearers and those who helped us gain our independence, and it represents the blood we shed against and with them. It is the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, to the freedom of speech, press, assembly, religion and thought. It is capitalism and liberalism, and the republic. It represents the new School of Hellas. It is imperialism and philanthropy, struggle and triumph, poverty and prosperity, war and peace. It stands for all th
Tales from the Internets, volume 1 2007-04-15 22:43:00 The first in what I hope to be a long running series of articles about... well, crap, I guess you could say. Just hide the kids, shield your eyes, or just don't click on the links. I find the following amusing... and occasionally just sad or weird, but I make no guarantees that you will.This site really quacks me up (yes I realize that it was a horrible pun, but just think of it as dripping with sarcasm, or you know... just read the "testimonials" on the site and see how painful it all is). Honestly, I'm not sure whether I find these funny, or just sad. This site actually makes money selling these things? There's a market for rubber duckies that look like Jason Kidd or Moses? Could I make money selling figurines of Charlie Chaplin with bunny ears? So many unanswered questions... All that I know is that I definitely want a cow with a duck bill. I'm still trying to figure out whether or not putting duck bills on random animals is stranger than putting them on humans, though. Read more:Tales
Empire 2007-04-12 23:41:00 A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...The Empire
Strikes BackIt is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star hasbeen destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces fromtheir hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fightersled by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remoteice world of Hoth.The evil lord Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Skywalker,has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches ofspace...And like that the real epic started. Who doesn’t love those sounds coming from the bouncing probe. Intergalactic Planetary Planetary Intergalactic. Intergalactic Planetary Planetary Intergalactic. Intergalactic Planetary Planetary Intergalactic.And so the Empire struck back.They took one man’s hand and another’s carbonite frame. Destroyed one boy’s entire self and crushed a rebellion under a dark leather boot.Star Wars was something I always k
Odyssey 2007-04-09 18:54:00 For one night, college life was all that it was supposed to be. No, not what was promised to me in countless television series, crappy made for TV specials and movies. No, I didn’t get smashed out of my mind. I didn’t do some night putting with the Chancellor’s daughter, pull a prank on the Dean of Admissions, or even wear a toga. There weren’t any drugs, or loud techno music thumping in the background, though there were some rather amusing drunken students stumbling around. But, none of that ever mattered to me. College was never about any of that stuff, not in my mind. What was accomplished that cold Friday night was far more important. In just one voyage up a cold stretch of interstate, I reunited two star-crossed lovers, navigated through the wintry streets to find long lost friends, stared down the site of my greatest defeat and jetted through with two hands clenched upon the wheel, screamed my lungs out under the dark sky, while a river of bright yellow lights c Read more:Odyssey
Space... 2007-04-07 00:59:00 Of these generations Space
was born. Man’s steps feel not just on the face of our world, but on the dirt and dust of another. And even those steps changed the face of our globe. A new understanding was given to humanity, an old concept for once and for the first time real: Space. Beyond flight, beyond the sky and height and birds’ freedom we found something entirely new: Space, and eternity, “a finale frontier”… New skies, new blankets died with the richest ink that we could touch and feel and wrap around ourselves and our minds around. Man stepped out beyond this world and into a thousand others; and our lives weren’t just flat like an old map, or even constrained as on the surface of a classrooms globe, but they had depth, they’d found a new meaning. We’d stepped beyond height and found space, distance unimaginable. And in doing so, our reach exceeded our grasp. What once only our eye could touch (or could touch only our eye, or only through that our hearts an
M Class 2007-04-03 23:52:00 Honestly, what the fuck is going on here? Riker’s humping the ground- no surprise there. Geordi’s break dancing, or something, like the wild blind negro he is. Which, by the way, who knew there were black guys in space? And Data, fuck Data man. Ten bucks- ten bucks says he’s telling both of them what they are doing wrong and how he wishes he had the ability to fuck up like them too. Damn Data, you’re one crazy cold ass son of a bitch. Man, fuck those M-class planets.-cml
OSU Loses, Michigan rejoices... oh and they got a new coach or something. 2007-04-03 20:43:00 So, Michigan
has a new basketball coach. From all indications, Beilein is a great coach and this seems like a good move on Michigan's part, well... unless you are one of those fans who thought Jesus Christ himself was going to fall down from heaven to coach the Wolverines.In even happier news, Ohio State lost in the NCAA Tourney final, and here are a few pictures of the joyous occasion:Thad Matta, prior to his head exploding.Streamers rain down as Jamar Butler dejectedly leaves the court.And Greg Oden actually looking non-robotic.Ahh, schadenfreude... It's so wonderful. Read more:something
Opening Day 2007-04-02 08:28:00 "in Just- spring when the world is mud- luscious the little lame balloonman whistles far and wee and eddieandbill come running from marbles and piracies and it's spring when the world is puddle-wonderful the queer old balloonman whistles far and wee and bettyandisbel come dancing from hop-scotch and jump-rope and it's spring and the goat-footed balloonMan whistles far and wee"-E.E. CummingsThere’s something special about Opening Day, a sensation that can only compare to the cool autumn Saturdays in Ann Arbor, watching winged helmets fly around a field. Yet, I’m not going there today, because it is spring that’s in the air, not fall, and I’ll be longing for football soon enough. Besides, the feelings are comparable, but they’re not the same. There is an undeniable magic about them both that leaves my mind soaring and my heart pounding in my chest, but it isn’t the same, not at all. I love watching hockey, coll
An Intro to the Introductory 2007-03-30 06:13:00 Alright, this isn’t ideal, and was not according to the complicated plan of action that I thought up and forced Caleb to agree to, but “the best laid plans of mice and-“, okay, I’m going to stop there. For the time being, I’m just here to write a quick introductory post that will probably be all substance and little style. I apologize, but with classes, the insane amount of essays I have to write in the next month, and the… well, whatever you do at art school (drawing and sculpting and building giant tank turrets, I think) doing that Caleb is currently caught up in, our real intro for this blog will come later, though it should definitely be within the next month or so. We are writing the true introduction together, and since we are currently separated by about 150 miles, there are some barriers to speedy writing. Anyhow, I was just chafing at the bit to get this thing started, and to post an essay that sort of has a deadline coming up fast, so here we are…I’m Matt,
Moriarty 2007-04-27 21:36:00 When I was young, I had a Moriarty against whom my Holmes was pitted, as surely as I had found my Watson at that young age. I was matched against this fiend as early as I can remember. We were rivals of unimaginable import, no less so than Achilles and Hector or Batman and The Joker. Our battlefields were countless; the football field, the jungle gym, the backyard, the basement… We fought over the Super Nintendo controller, and we fought because we could. It was rivalry, it was sport, and it was a battle for the fate of everything that had ever mattered to me. And when one day he began to tear apart the snow fort that I poured my blood, sweat and tears into, it was a defense of honor and justice on a scale that would have made Superman proud. And we fought, beat and pummeled each other into the snow, fists flying, bodies tangled and snow rubbed into faces, a scene right out of Calvin and Hobbes, but what then felt more like The Battle of Hastings. I came out of it all victorio
Mr. Zamboni 2007-05-03 09:44:00 It doesn’t take a poet or a hockey fan to appreciate the innate love people get from a Zamboni gliding across the ice. Who doesn’t love the Zamboni? Foreigners? I don’t know. I don’t think so. Hating the Zamboni wouldn’t be un-American, and it wouldn’t be un-Canadian either, but it would be something damn close to it- It would be un-Human. And unheard of.Even if you aren’t a hockey fan, or a winter sports fan, or a warm blooded human being, the Zamboni will make you a fan of something more important, a fan of the ice. Everyone can love the ice, the way skates feel, the tight strain around your feet and ankles, painful and protective, so much love that it hurts like a Christmas hug from a fat aunt, or a thanksgiving dinner that aches and fills more than it tastes, or a handshake from your father when you both know you’ve just done something utterly amazing. Ice is perfect- it’s cold, but it isn’t sterile, and the molecule aren’t bound tightly closed but are
Box Score 2007-05-08 20:19:00 “I’m reading the box score, Scully. You’d like it; it’s like the Pythagorean Theorem for jocks. It distills all the chaos and action of any game in the history of all baseball games into one tiny, perfect rectangular sequence of numbers. I can look at this box, and I can recreate exactly what happened on some sunny, summer day back in 1947. It’s like the numbers talk to me, they comfort me, they tell me even though lots of things can change some things do remain the same.” –Fox MulderOne day, Mulder reminded me of something my dad once told me, something about how I should love baseball because of how much I enjoyed statistics. My seven year old self never really understood that, because things like wins and losses, points and touchdowns, goals and assists were so much easier to understand than ERAs, batting averages, WHIPs, or slugging percentages. But, not understanding all of that stuff never stopped me from loving the game, and it never stopped me from playing s Read more:Score
Lou-Thor 2007-05-13 09:04:00 Even Lex Luthor pops his collar....and wears purple.He must be pimpin'.He must be a dracula!
Baseball. 2007-05-18 07:51:00 Why do you have to love baseball? Because you just can’t help it! Because you love summer. Because it’s not a sport but it’s life, it’s a pulse, and it’s time. Because baseball can be everything. Baseball is real, and it’s real as you or me. What is in baseball is what’s in all of use. Something that binds us, connects us, grounds us. Baseball is strong smells and textures and deep deep truths. The feel of the ball; the ridge of each stitch, the raw weave of the pants, and the childishness of the caps. Baseball isn’t a sport, it’s a game. Those aren’t athletes on the grass, they’re real people, the way it used to be. Baseball’s a game made to be played by drunks and overweight old men, and young kids. As easy as the dust gets caught in you nostrils, or the way the setting sun just stops when those painfully red rays hit the mound and you can see the smoky spirit of the game moving in the energy about everyone’s feet, baseball gets caught in your ve
Ringwraiths 2007-05-16 19:12:00 Superman is sent to the anti-matter universe of Qward and he finds...A robotic... Witch King... with a lance... that shoots laser beams... riding a unicorn...Yeah...
Vader's Head 2007-05-24 11:09:00 "Banded together from remote galaxies are thirteen of the most sinister villains of all time: The Legion of Doom. Dedicated to a single objective, the conquest of the universe. Only one group dares to challenge this intergalactic threat: The Super Friends!" I never read comics much when I was a kid. Sure, I flipped through some of my Uncle’s old ones from the sixties, but I was never really into them. I have no clue why, but I always preferred reading books to comic books. So, it was through a different medium that I learned about super heroes and their villainous counterparts; it was through television, the way every child of the nineties learned about anything. I loved watching X-Men, Spider-man and The Super Friends on Saturday mornings, but it wasn’t until I decided to watch The Super Friends again about a year ago that I realized something… The Legion of Doom lives in a giant Darth Vader
head.The archenemies of The Super Friends live in a giant Vader mask!
Tantive...V? 2007-05-23 15:17:00 Addendum!I am glad to announce that our voices have been heard. That’s right Rouge Squadron, the efforts of The Corellian and myself are making a difference in this world. Thanks to our insightful observations and keen investigation the world is a better place. What am I talking about?That damn blaster. There is it. Steel Black. The way it should be. And even the Star Wars logo is gone.Now maybe our boys will have a fighting chance.And I’m just going to ignore that the product itself is now bile green…-Red Leader
Tantive IV 2007-05-22 12:23:00 Why does this Rebel soldier look so pissed off?Did he miss the Wokkiee celebration of Life Day?Has his Bantha Milk gone sour?Maybe he's constipated you wonder?NOOOOOOO!IT'S BECAUSE HE'S SHOOTING FUCKING FOAM DARTS! FROM A ELECTRIC-BLUE BLASTER! THAT SAYS "STAR WARS" ON ITS SIDE! WITH AN ORANGE TIP!AT DARTH VADER!VADER!ORANGE TIP!FOAM!...and you people wonder how we lost Alderaan...-The Alderaanian
Spidy Sense 2007-05-27 02:35:00 In the immortal words of Stan Lee: "'nuf said." Read more:Sense
Tales from the Internets, volume 2 2007-05-30 21:43:00 Well, it's that time again... a time to post crazy links, that is. Once again, I got a lot of these from various sources, and I'll try to give credit where credit is due, but I forget a lot of the time where this stuff came from.One side comment... I understand that it's some sort of marketing ploy to repeat the name of the company/product ad nauseam during a commercial, but it's annoying as fuck. Do I need to hear the word [company name removed to prevent advertising] ten times in three sentences? No, no I don't. I think I need to up my dose or television or something. I'm actually starting to get un-brainwashed by commercialism.Anyway, on to the links. From the people at Progressive Boink, a hilarious database of Hanna-Barbara cartoon characters. Definitely worth it if you ever watched any of them as a kid (or an adult, I guess). Speaking of which, why the hell did I watch all my parents' cartoons as a kid? Was I the only one?While still on the subject of cartoons, he Read more:Tales
Me, a Swimmer, and The Creature From the Black Lagoon: An Unnatural Love Affair 2007-06-03 09:37:00 What’s wrong with the Creature
From the BlackLagoon
is everything that is wrong with science and religion. Love.I can still remember when I first saw this movie. It was a long time ago. Throughout six and seventh grade I spent many Friday nights with my best friends Joshua and Nathaniel. We’d stay up “late” at Josh’s, sitting on his floor watching old movies his father had rented for us. We’d watch the classics: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man, Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy, Abbott and Costello Battle Racism and Oppression in White Hollywood. And we’d watch the creature features, like The Creature From the Black Lagoon. Remember when you were little, and you were never sure weather something was going to be really scary, or just exciting and funny instead? Watching The Creature From the Black Lagoon is very much like that. When you’re young so many things t Read more:Affair
Wolverines Upset Commodores 2007-06-04 21:31:00 Victory!The Michigan Wolverines baseball team advanced to the super regionals of the NCAA Tournament tonight by defeating the #1 ranked Vanderbilt Commodores
.Pinch hitter Alan Oaks hit a home run in the top of the tenth to give the Wolverines a 4-3 victory.Michigan was 2-1 against Vanderbilt this weekend, a stunning upset in a sport that is traditionally dominated by southern schools. Michigan got little respect upon entering the tournament, but pulled off a huge victory.Here are some links:Some pictures from the Michigan Daily.Short article on MGoBlog.Hail to the Victors! Read more:Upset
755 2007-06-09 12:40:00 You know... I'll probably write more about this when Bonds actually (hopefully he won't by some miracle) breaks the home run record, but I just wanted to share a link from The Onion and a few thoughts.The funniest thing about the article is that... it's not funny. It's really not funny at all.It's just sad. Sure, I chuckled a few times, but overwhelmingly it just left me with a hollow feeling in my gut.Let me make a few things perfectly clear, this isn't about one man and it's not about race... at least not to me.It's about purity and history and the feeling I get when spring comes and baseballs are hit again. It's hearing my dad tell me stories about Al Kaline and Johnny Bench, and my grandfather telling me stories from even further back. It's about my father telling me about how my great-grandpa used to love the Yankees, and hearing about all those names that bring chills to your spine. It's about Ruth, and Hank Aaron's struggle against everything to bring the bigge
Gangsta Wood Spidahs. 2007-06-07 13:03:00 Really makes you wonder what Charlotte would've written had she been on that shit. Read more:Gangsta
Vulcan Found in Canada 2007-06-10 00:16:00 According to an article at CBC.ca, a Vulcan
was discovered in Vancouver, British Columbia. The man (alien?) was discovered to have green blood while being prepped for surgery.Dr. McCoy was not available for comment.The above link is courtesy of Kudron. Read more:Canada
2007-06-15 02:05:00
A Potato 2007-06-13 22:03:00 Ugh...That really sums it up. Just, ugh.Like the great Charlie Brown once said... ugh.When you have no tears left and you can't stand to think about it anymore, that's really all there is in the end. Shit fucking sucks.More to come eventually... but it's not the time right now. Read more:Potato
No-Hitter 2007-06-12 20:42:00 No-hitter!Verlander just threw a friggin' no-hitter!It was the first by a Tiger since 1984 when Jack Morris pitched one....and I missed it. Hopefully FSN will have the recap on tonight and I can watch the game. I've never actually seen one.For those of you who don't know a no-hitter is when a pitcher... well, doesn't allow any hits. How 'bout that?The Tigers beats the Breweres 4-0.Some links from various news organizations follow:Yahoo SportsESPN.comThe Detroit Free PressThe Detroit News
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