Owner: Blast Shields Down URL:http://blastshieldsdown.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Wed, 25 Apr 2007 16:38:53 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A place for the writings of two college students from Michigan, covering topics ranging from literature to movies, philosophy to pop culture, politics to insane ramblings and everything in between. Site statistics:Click here
What I Learned Today 2007-11-27 00:23:00 I think it is wonderful that a children's television show has finally come along that can teach kids how to be creative, expressive, and active but also ill.The show is called Yo Gabba Gabba! and if you have not seen it I recommend that you get around to it. I was just switching around Nick Jr. in the middle of the day and found it. You never know what kinds of useful things your liable to learn from a man like Biz Markie and children's television in the middle of the dayAlso, as an added bonus (I mean besides the old school rap and ska theme of the show) one of the characters, Muno, looks like the end of a very friendly vibrator or of a very sick penis. But I'm not going to get into that."My name is Caleb, I like to dance!" Read more:Learned
, Today
Mystery Inc. 2007-12-04 22:18:00 We here at BSD, have decided to take a more active role in our community. After fixing the horrible color of a blaster pistol, discovering the true nature of Grues and... well, that's about that, but it's a pretty good start, no?We've decided to take a page right out of Mystery
Inc.'s book, and perhaps even steal there name, too... Anyway, if you see two strange guys wandering about in trench coats and possibly singing the theme from Ghostbusters, that'll be us.On the docket is finding Paul's stalker and the culprit who stole my Tannenbaum freshman year of High School.
Beowulf: Worst Movie Ever 2007-12-02 21:32:00 Somehow, Beowulf received a 70% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I can only assume that they are very easily distracted by shiny objects...The movie I watched was a clusterfuck of blind drunk Norsemen, zombies, blood, gore, rape and stilettos made of golden ooze. And while that sounds like a pretty kick ass movie, it wasn't, and I'm not even positive why. It wasn't the fact that they totally disregarded the epic poem the movie was supposedly based upon (they followed the plot loosely up until the fight with Grendel and then I think they might as well have been going off of A Handmaid's Tale for how well it followed form), because they totally just said screw that shit.Perhaps they were just too busy to staring at how pretty the animation was to actually write an adequate script, perhaps it was written after the writer's strike began, maybe they just figured people wouldn't care. Obviously, I'm the only one who did from the glowing reviews the movie has gotten.I'm not even s
Beowulf… more like “Gay-owulf”… 2007-11-30 02:35:00 Beowulf is very redundant movie. A very action packed, intense, thrilling, exciting, fierce, powerful movie; with one ripping, tearing, slashing, gouging talon and teeth filled scene after another. Also, the movie has Jesus in it, and golden boobs.Watching this movie was like being transported into another world, an ancient world that still had the plague and where rape ran rampant in the streets. This effect was so strong that even the movie theater was transformed into the Roman Forum for a time and ideas and opinions were voiced aloud to the public. I’m thinking of course of when the big dark man behind me lectured his young child about the science of buying pop at the multiplex and followed up with a detailed explanation of the chemistry of sugar and caffeine in relation to the size of an extra large movie-soda bucket. Or when a particularly articulate bright woman voiced her dismay over the metaphor in the film that related a goblet with a vagina. Though, I must admit, thi
Opposable Thumbs 2007-12-12 16:12:00 Okay... this is late... really, really late, but it's finals week and, well... here you are.Once again, I was in Comp and bored out of my mind. My Prof was going over something about the next essay or something, but I couldn't bring myself to pay attention. He constantly just rambles on about the same things, sort of like I do, I suppose, but I like to think I'm more interesting. I saw the following on The Colbert Report a while ago, I have no idea when the episode aired because it was recorded on my DVR, but apparently Al Gore is cuter than Bitsy. War! According to Washington Monthly, the SEC sucks. Of course, I always knew this about the SEC and the south in general, but it's nice to be vindicated. Score one for the Midwest! Also, The M Zone on the awesome speed and competition of SEC football. Knowing my readership, you've heard of Measure for Measure, but I certainly hadn't before I read the thing. It's not a bad play, I suppose, but not much really happens.
What have we here? 2007-12-10 00:14:00 While discussing racial subcultures the other day in my humanities course the conversation came around to "Uncle Toms." And, inevitably, Billy D. WIlliams, also know as Lando Calrissian. I tried to defend Lando, explain that he was just an entrepreneur, that the Empire had put the screws to him and he was just doing what he had to at the time but came through in the end. Boy was I full of shit. Because, the truth of the matter is, Lando might just have been the most stereotypical character in all the star wars films. Being the only black guy in the whole of George Lucas' universe isn't easy though and I think he is due some credit. As a non-alien black guy Lando was single handedly representing an oppressed and stylized culture. Even while surrounded by british Nazi's and teenage Trotskyites, Billy D was cool and clean, full of sexual chocolate, pimping a pimp cape and ordering white guys around. Yeah, Lando might have been an uncle tom, but shit, he was just protecting his
Finals Week 2007-12-08 01:47:00 It's getting around to that point again. There is a reason why Matt and I list our occupations here on BSD as "student." It's so that when finals week draws around there is an explanation for why I don't have much new to say. There is so much I want to write about this week, but I think instead I'll just fill it with star wars content. Please enjoy, and I'll see you on the light side.The Alderaanianpart 1The Boondocks:
To My Friends... 2007-12-22 09:09:00 All things have to end… All things must end, no matter how much we all would wish it otherwise, no matter how much we tear, beg and fight. The gods don't care how much we pray or yell, we just get dragged away kicking and screaming in the end. I think that perhaps it's that helplessness that makes it so difficult. That intense desire to just have things stay the same, for stability, but the knowledge that change in inevitable. My own impulse is always to hold on for too long, to not give up, to battle until I'm bloody and tried, until I'm lying on the floor my chest heaving for exertion and my eyes wet with tears, until I can no longer even think. It's a noble thing to end things when you know it's time, I doubt I ever could. I know that I would wait until it was too late. I don't know if I even realize that it's over until it's too late, until things have gotten so twisted that they cannot be fixed. Sometimes I wish I could just get out earlier Read more:Friends
Cupcake 2007-12-20 01:59:00 Blast Shields Down has made it to 100 posts. So, in honor of the event this post will have to stand as our piece of congratulatory pie, our little cupcake. It hasn't even been a year yet and I already feel older.Matt and I would like to thank all of you who have ever read anything here on Blast Shield Down. Whether you were misdirected here looking for pornography, share our strange interest in super heroes and star wars, or were simply repeatedly given a link by Biasman or myself, thank you for reading. This post seems kind of over shadowed by the recent State of the Blog, and our oncoming anniversary, but still, here's to BSD.Here is to 100 posts of Love and Breasts,of Monsterous Fears and Childhood Dreams,of Lex Luthors and Wilford Brimleys,of Star Ship Captains and Draculas,of Video Games and Cartoons,and giant white whales.They wouldn't let Matt and I get hitched and have a baby, so we created BSD instead. And, I love it everyday, and I know Matt does too, like two mother Read more:Cupcake
Finals, Kwanzaa, and a poem 2007-12-18 02:05:00 Finals are over. Frosty the Snowman is a bitch. And there are less than two weeks until Kwanzaa
.  Excited yet?To wrap this up, here is part three of the star wars content. It's a poem, which kind of breaks some unspoken BSD rules, but it's about star wars and love, and I know that at least Matt and the girl I wrote it for liked it.A Star Wars poem for Higgy:You shut down the trash compactors on my detention level.That is to say, you take my breath away.And maybe I just want to be your Bothan spy, Climbing in your AT-ST,Hoping we'll drive home together tonight,Back to Echo Base or Yavin IV.And it makes me smile.No, I'm not saying that you are theComforts of a Tauntaun.But you do have the warmness of one.And a certain bluish glow,Like Obi-wan on Dagobah.I'll sit and watch twin suns with you,Waiting on Tatooine.I'll make the Kessel Run to you,In less than12 parsecs with 1.21 gigawatts.And through the haze of snow and sand storms,Or the clouds of BespinI'll follow youLike
Bowels of Mercy 2007-12-16 11:23:00 This week has been rather hectic with finals and final papers to write. While doing a research paper on Guy Fawkes Day, I came across this article in the New York Times:". . . for they are bowels of mercy . . ."
Happy Christmas Mornings 2007-12-25 00:11:00 Here's hoping you're all have a super funk christmas morning and a golden holiday. There are one or two presents still under the tree, maybe a bb gun in the back yard, and some ham somewhere, or maybe a cooked duck, which means it must be christmas. So, to all of you who lasted through the night, merry christmas from Blast Shields Down. Now get off the computer and spend some time with somebody somewhere; and we'll see you in a few days.CML Read more:Happy
, Mornings
, Christmas
The Great Red Ape 2007-12-24 22:59:00 From all of us here at BSD, we'd like to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Festivus, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, a Miserly Celebration of Capitalism and whatever else. Hope your holidays are going as good as mine.Now the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past will tell you the story of Christmas...Robot: THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dinobones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators when wakened by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year. For many were killed. Frylock: Well, that still doesn't tell me why you-- Robot: I'm not finished. YOU should have gotten a snack. A war-like race of elves from the Red Planet landed on the ice- Read more:Great
Fences 2008-03-10 15:17:33 Once you have a fence you can’t really get ride of it easily. I’ve been trying to think of a way that you could, but I can’t. I think that’s because no fence is really yours. It’s your fence, but also three other peoples’ fence too. Whoever lives next to you, on either side, owns part of your fence, and the same with the person living behind you. The gate is yours, the rest of it is only partially yours, a fraction yours, a third. And like anti-ballistic missiles in a peace agreement no one wants to get ride of their fence first. And in fact with a fence you can’t. Maybe if you convinced your neighbors on all three sides to take their part of the fence down with you, had mutual permission to remove the fencing from around your property a person could do away with fence
Halloween, Part two 2008-03-02 00:03:41 ...continued...When I was in middle and elementary school I’d trick or treat with Sean Anderson and my older brother would go out with his older brother, Bret. Sean and I were really good friends for a long time. Through kindergarten and most of elementary school Sean and his brother would come over for Halloween
. We’d spend the whole afternoon running around the backyard, digging through the basement and pulling up weird toys and play weapons to bash around with. Just as it would start to get dark Sean and I would pull out a bin of old clothes, torn up shirts and knotted neck ties, old blue jeans with paint and fake blood smeared all over them. I never really knew what we were those Halloweens; sometimes zombies, sometimes scientists, sometimes just accident victims. I’d plan
Fish Lovers 2008-02-23 00:28:26 Superheroes were everything when I was little… But… Aquaman… well Aquaman was just… how can I put this lightly? Worthless. And so was his archnemesis Black Manta. Seriously, do you even know who he is? Does anyone even care who Aquaman is? And so we have one a superhero and one a super villain. But, are either of them truly super? Are they heroes? Villains? I never read comic books as a child, but I knew a ton about superheroes for some reason or another. It was probably all those TV shows and maybe just word of mouth with my other friends, but we sure knew about them. We knew them like the back of our hands, like we knew the trench run of the Death Star, like we knew baseball and apple pie and Suburbia. Except, Aquaman was never really in that equation. Read more:Lovers
Halloween, Part one 2008-02-17 22:42:00 When I was young, very young, I dressed up as Superman for every Halloween
. Understand though that when I saw “ young” I mean before Superman suits had fake muscle chest, but also before I had memories. When I was young and all of my thoughts were framed through my father's camera and slid projector I dressed as Superman for Halloween. I do have one genuinely honest memory from those Halloweens though, I remember my mother knelling down in front of me and pulling my curl down over my forehead, just like Superman’s. We were in the hallway of our old house, at the bottom of the stairs, standing on the long rug that ran between the bathroom and the playroom. The bathroom shone a glorious white. White lighting, and yellow light bulbs and white, slick, smooth, cold porcelain tiles gl
All Filler 2008-02-11 21:56:04 ...compliments of the Portland Mercury "~cockbag...tilde...bang~"Generic Ass
Dämmerung 2008-02-08 13:06:25 A friend once told me that one day I would be in a relationship that made me realize how one really was supposed to be. That, sadly enough, I would actually understand how they work, how I work… understand that I was… happy. That idea bounced about in my head for weeks, months, maybe even longer, my mind, my heart, my soul mulling it over, fighting it, alternately embracing and rejecting that notion. That silly, profound notion of happiness. In the end she was right, I’m sure of it, though I’m not quite sure if I know it yet. It has always seemed to me that the beginning of relationships are the easiest… they are the most awkward and worrisome, but they are also the most exciting and simple periods. I think that once you get past that, you really know where you stand,
Apartment A2 2008-02-05 17:53:06 My first apartment had bumpy, uneven floors and a tick in the walls. I was living in the old apartment when she broke up with me. The second night I spent there she and I went around the apartment and had sex in every one of its rooms. This was before I’d even gotten any furniture moved in. My bed would remain on the floor where I first dropped it for the entirety of my time living there. We had sex in every room that night: mine, the closet, the living room, even my roommates room, right next to the frame of his bed, a cold painted steel frame leaning against the wall. She was on all fours and I was on my knees too, right where he’d eventually put his bed, right next to his picture of Jesus. She sat on the ledge in front of the sink in the kitchen and I fucked here there too. I
Super Friends 2008-01-28 23:15:39 I found this and started missing all of my super friends. This is for you guys. Matt, I hope your trip went well. John, I'm sorry I missed you last time, but next time we'll rocket. Paul, thanks for posting again. KB, thanks for the Gatorade.CML Read more:Super
, Friends
William Carlos Williams 2008-01-20 11:31:15 "so much dependsupon a red wheelbarrow glazed with rainwater beside the whitechickens."Seriously... that's supposed to mean something? That's supposed to be deep and influential? I'm supposed to sit here for hours and ponder the sophisticated meaning? No, fuck that. You're not cute, WilliamCarlosWilliams
. Go take your wheelbarrow shaped couplets and your chickens and learn from a real poet.
Liberal Media Bias 2008-01-15 17:49:17 I have always stayed away from politics here, and I’m not sure why… it’s not because I’m scared of stirring up controversy or driving readers away. I don’t really care, and I’ve always spoken my mind about everything else here. Maybe it’s just the fact that politics really annoy the fuck out of me. They are exciting at times, I suppose, but only if you get to the root of the matter, not the smoke that the media and politicians are trying to blow up everybody’s ass. It’s really hard for me to care about a candidate when I don’t ever feel like I know their real views, just what they think will get them elected. I guess I can’t even blame them; honestly, it’s simply the political culture that America has fostered. But before this turns into a rant about a differe Read more:Liberal
, Liberal Media
License Plates 2008-01-09 21:02:49 I overreact about a lot of things... I don't know why. I think maybe I hate change, I think I might just be that unstable. I probably should chose my battles better, I suppose I should let the little things go, but I can't...The State of Michigan is issuing new license plates to everyone for some reason (no, I don't give a fuck what their reason is), and I just got mine in the mail. It's plain... blue characters on a white background. It says Michigan and something else, I don't know... I don't care. It's stupid. Why would they give us a license plate that looks just like Ontario's? Ontarians are the only people who even visit Michigan on a regular basis! As for the other option... with the green city/tree scape and the whatever else... it's just stupid as fuck. Don't get me start Read more:License
, Plates
Super Smash Bros. Jibberish 2008-01-06 12:52:46 Sorry posting has been so light lately. I blame Winter break, girlfriends and the fact that instead of doing any blog work Caleb and I would just sit in my basement and talk about how to build a tiny Battlestar out of Legos, which super heroes we would be if we were super heroes or play Vectorman. I promise I will finish the design changes in the next couple of days and that I'll post more now that classes are starting. But for now... This is the last part of our SuperSmash
Bros. feature. Caleb and I, along with Paul from Careful with that Blog, Eugene decided it would be a good idea to get into a chat and ramble on about video games, Winston Churchill and a variety of other things that I'm sure you don't want to listen to. Anyway, we thought it was funny, and while it is insanely long,
New Year's Promises 2007-12-30 12:40:23 Since Caleb recently went over our first year, I figured with New Year
's Day coming soon, I'd share with you a couple of resolutions for BSD for the year double aught eight.First, I'd like to say that I have a few posts of substance planned and they will be coming out fairly soon (most likely after the first).In addition, we promise to give you more Star Wars, Superman and sleepy Dr. Robotnik's.There will also be more content about T.Rex, unicorns and Guy Fawkes.Lastly, I'd just like to say that BSD will be here in another year and hopefully just as good as it has been.Any suggestions, just leave us a comment or send an e-mail. Read more:Promises
Tentacle Rape 2008-03-14 14:44:28 Oh boy... this is going to attract some weird visitors. C'est la vie...You know that weird girl you went to High School with? The one you always felt kinda bad for until you realized that there was a good reason why no one talked to her? It’s not that she was a bad person, she was just too weird to have any sort of conversation with. Now, I know this seems like the pot calling the kettle black. Hey, I’m not going to deny I’m weird, strange, crazy, dorky, whatever… I embrace it. I just wrote a piece about Aquaman and Black Manta where I used the phrase “doinking mermaids and playing Marco Polo with dolphins”. I get that, I accept that, but I know how to interact with others, most people like me. And if anything, my own weirdness should underscore just how strange that gi
Robot Sex 2008-03-20 20:48:29 I came across his old article from MSNBC.com the other day and it got me thinking... Honestly, it got me thinking about several things, mostly the psychological impact of falling in love and marrying a robot would have on someone. Seriously... that can't be healthy. Humans are social creatures and need to interact with other humans, no? Do you really want to marry something that is programmed to be perfect for you? Then again, if someone cannot find someone to love, isn't it better that they have something rather than being horribly lonely? Or what is the robot was programmed prior to you falling in love with it? Would that be okay?I could go on about that aspect of the issue for a while, but I'm really not sure I know the answer. So instead of waxing philosophical, I'm going to dis Read more:Robot
Recommend Site To A Friend
