Owner: Blast Shields Down URL:http://blastshieldsdown.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Wed, 25 Apr 2007 16:38:53 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A place for the writings of two college students from Michigan, covering topics ranging from literature to movies, philosophy to pop culture, politics to insane ramblings and everything in between. Site statistics:Click here
Read a Book 2007-10-01 22:26:00 Dear Michigan congress,in light of last night and your gallant efforts of map making, color coding, and climate control I turn to you and ask, on behalf of all academia and intellectual pursuits of the utmost and highest orders, what is the face of our future?It is the words of great men and women that move this world and will alter the course and frame of all things to come. I'm sure you, just as I, go to sleep each night and wake each morning with some steadfast words of reason of a voice of our time resonating in your inner thoughts. It is in this spirit of shared meditation that I turn myself to the great words not of a president, poet, or philosopher but of a Pop Star. Whitney Houston taught us to believe in something great:"I believe the children are our are future Teach them well and let them lead the way,"..and dear god, read a book...-Cmlalinsky, Oedipus Tyrannosaurus
Comp Musings 2007-10-08 09:25:00 It’s been a while, and I guess I could apologize, but I’m not sure I want to. I’m not even sure what is with all the Oedipal references lately. With the semester under way and things settling down, I hope I will get a chance to write more. Sitting here in Composition, I decided that it would be a good idea to write something, considering that I’m not paying any attention to my professor. It’s not slacking off too badly, because I am composing… and my prof just told the class, “sharpen your diction”, so let see how that works. Besides, I find it hard to listen to a Comp professor who says “libarry”. So, apparently they finally found the Northwest Passage, and Canada is getting militaristic about it. Good for them. It’s nice to see them take a stand on something other than hockey or how much they hate Quebec. Speaking of which, I really wish Quebec would secede. I really think we need another country in North America to make things interesting. Read more:Musings
Crhmit 3pio 2007-10-17 15:27:00 Hes in ur bahtrum having ur gai sehxNo ways meh 2.lolcmlalinsky, lol kthxbia
Basketball on Grass 2007-10-14 12:21:00 Our MessiahI didn’t go to the Homecoming game yesterday vs. Purdue because I have some sort of cold (complete with fever, coughing and copious amounts of snot draining down my throat), but it allowed me the opportunity to sit smack dab in front of my TV and thanks to the power of DVR watch every play in pretty good detail. I just fast forwarded through all the commercials and time between plays and focused on the action. This had the added bonus of my not really having to listen to the Big Ten Network commentators. I’m going to make a few quick observations before moving on to my main point: - Michigan played well yesterday, offensively and defensively. - While Michigan only got two sacks, the line seemed to contain Painter pretty well and actually closed the pocket on him. - Henne was 21-28 for 268 yards and 2 touchdowns… just incredible. - Hart had 21 carries for 102 yards and 2 touchdowns… in the first half. I’m starting to really get excited about the Heisma Read more:Basketball
Wilford "Eggman" Brimley 2007-10-13 22:01:00 I honestly don't know what to say about this picture... according to Wikipedia, this was concept art for the infamous Dr. Robotnik. Seriously, just look at the fucker... he's a friggin' beaver in pink polka dots and hypno glasses. And is that a cat pillow? I thought Sega was supposed to be cool. Anyhow... here is Paul's take:"He just wants some goddamn sleep. Sonic needs to stop eatin' chili dogs and listenin' to rap music." - Paul A. RodgersOh, and he friggin' looks like Wilford Brimley."KONG... EATS... OATS!!!"
Father and Son 2007-10-18 21:04:00 It’s a dreadful day when you finally realize that your father is human, that the pillar of strength and discipline, that paragon of everything safe and good in the world is just as scared as you are, when you realize that he is just as flawed as us all. It’s a terrible moment when you finally beat him at one-on-one and you know by the look in his eyes and the sweat dripping from his brow as you sink that last jump shot that this time he didn’t let you win. It suddenly hits you that you are too fast, too strong, too skilled, too young (and maybe not young enough). And maybe there is a triumph in that moment, a gloating, but that grin soon falls from your face. You know that the days of throwing a Nerf football in the front yard are gone, the days when a tackle meant being picked up in a giant bear hug. You can see it all in his eyes and the heaving of his chest, that strange mixture of pride and defeat that must come when your progeny eclipse you. It’s a horrible f Read more:Father
I Hate Ohio 2007-10-22 16:29:00 Look, I make it no secret how much I hate Ohio
and everything related to even distantly to the state. I'm not sorry if this offends anyone, but they're obviously some sort of Ohioan or Ohio sympathizer and don't care what they think. I understand that this excludes about 11 million people from liking the blog, but I don't care about that either. Besides, I still have Paul in Cincinnati reading. So without further ado... Schadenfreude...The Cleveland Indians lost to the Red Sox in game seven of the ALCS last night 11-2 after getting blown out the game before 12-2. I'm not sure how that even happens, but I can't help be feel wonderful about it.Sure, I'm bitter because the Tigers didn't make the playoffs, but fuck it all. The Indians lost!Look how depressed they look, isn't it wonderful?Disclaimer: Image taken from The Boston Globe.
Champaign 2007-10-22 16:02:00 I was gone on Saturday to Stratford, ON, so I missed the Michigan game. However, I managed to avoid hearing about the game (thanks to the fact that I was in Canada, I suppose) and I watched it last night at eight. I'm not sure whether it was the fact that I fast forwarded through all the commercials and pretty much all of the commentary between plays or it was just an exciting game, but it was exhilarating. I was nervous, but it was just a fun game to watch.I don't have much time to write about the game or do any research because I have to read Measure for Measure, finish German classwork and finish writing an essay on The Canterbury Tales, but I do have some impressions.- It was a great game, pure and simple and one of the most fun to watch all year.-I thought that Michigan really opened up the offense on Saturday night, something I've wanted them to do all year. The end around to Arrington, who passed it to a wide open Manningham in the end zone was the sort of thing I'd bee
Worthless and Discarded Mascots: Alex Kidd 2007-10-30 14:21:00 Nothing says "stuffed shirts trying to act cool" like the name Alex Kidd. But, he's not even a failed attempt at being cool. The California Raisins or Alf or Poochie, the rapping dog from The Itchy and Scratchy show were supposed to be cool, not Alex. Look at Poochie... his baseball cap backwards, sunglasses on, flashing some sort of gang signs while driving in his convertible. That's trying too hard to be cool... No... Alex was... well... just look at the little sucker.What is he even supposed to be? An Elf? A rat? Some sort of space monkey? And look at those sideburns... They're hanging down past his chin, that's pretty darn impressive, actually. This thing was supposed to be Sega's mascot before Sonic the Hedgehog. Really makes you wonder why they decided to come up with a new one, doesn't it? I have no idea if any of the games he was in are any good, or if they were any good at the time, but I don't want to find out... Look at the guy. He's just begging for a me
Michigan vs. Minnesota 2007-10-28 11:28:00 Blegh...I'm not quite sure what else I really have to say about yesterday's Michigan
game. The 34-10 score does not indicate how awfully they played awfully in the first half, but after the beginning of the season, I'm not going to complain. A win is a win.Minnesota
carved up the Michigan defense in the first half with that halfback hand-off from the shotgun, the back running between the center and guard. I think it's a zone read of some kind, but correct me if I'm wrong. They ran it all day long.Things got better in the second as the weather got colder. Mallett threw some nice long passes, but also made a couple really awful ones, a particularly bad screen pass to his receiver's feet comes to mind. Both Manningham and Arrington came up with some amazing circus catches that make me wish I had remembered to record the game.Lastly, both Minor and Brown were sick. I'm not sure how much of it was a product of the atrocious Minnesota defense, but Minor rushed the ball 21 times
Star Date 10092107 2007-10-27 00:14:00 Deanna Troi had an encounter with an unknown creature of apparently ragingly drunken and homoerotic origin on the recreation deck. Counselor Troi’s comments on the sexual assault: “Ew. It was…Ew. No, just ew. I feel dirty. She made me feel dirty. Very dirty. Grossed out. Seriously, I’m scared. Hold me…please.”So far there have been no more developments in this unsettling encounter. Riker suspects the onslaught of more lesbian attacks any day now. Or, maybe a period. Either way, it doesn’t look good for the crew.A further investigation is pending Starfleet approval.Captain C.M. Lalinsky, NCC-1701-FU
Profiles in Courage: Paul Arrand Rodgers 2007-11-03 11:20:00 If you frequent this blog at all, you know about Paul, the mighty slayer of infidels. He's the purveyor of the chaotic mass of articles, youtube clips and lolbots that are not actually robots that he calls Careful With that Blog, Eugene. The man now has five blogs... I think, that's Caleb's count and I haven't really been able to verify that. For all I know, he has more. Obviously being inside enemy territory for so long has scrambled his brain and messed up his inhibition unit. We at BSD, think this multiple blog policy is atrocious, mostly because it forces me to click on multiple links... and besides, there is no navigation from one blog the next on CWTB, E (the comma in the acronym was Paul's idea). How the hell am I supposed to read all this stuff? While my motives might be selfish... he must be stopped! Seriously...Five blogs?! This has to be some sort of plot to wreak psychological havoc against all who oppose him. Frankly, we here at BSD are just glad we're on Read more:Profiles
Go Go Space Racer 2007-11-01 10:08:00 Lunar Rover is a cool name for a car. I’d drive one. Not because it is especially cool. In fact, I imagine driving the lunar rover is a lot like building a soapbox racer with an Erector Set and old tire swings while trying to look cool in a Michelin Man outfit, be bad ass enough to be a scientist and an pilot, and all the while hoping not to float off into a great black oblivion that there is no doubt would kill you in a long, lonely, cold way.Lunar Rover just sounds so poetic and haunting though. Lunar Rover is the kind of car a dark Druid wizard would drive. If hobbits built cars they’d build Lunar Rovers. Hobbiton:The Lunar Rover, built Bag End tough.The Lunar Rover story must go something like this:“What are we going to do on the moon guys?”“I don’t know, wander around a bit I guess. Rove it.”“You mean we’re going to be the first space ramblers?”“Yeah, and we can ramble around in our moon car. Our rover.”“Our M Read more:Space
, Racer
Crappy Halloween Costumes 2007-10-31 21:20:00 Since today is Halloween
, I decided that I would give a little advice, and generally be an asshole on the topic of Halloween costumes. None of these rules apply for little kids, let them be whatever the fuck they want, but for anyone going to Halloween parties (admission is usually cheaper with a costume) here are some costumes to not wear. I also realize that it's way too late to change your costume, but maybe if you picked any of these, you should just stay home.The Ghost:Come on... it's a friggin' bed sheet. Did you just pull it off your little bunk there? There aren't even any eye holes on the thing. This is good for scaring your roommate after he comes home at four am from a drinking binge, but not as a costume. How lazy are you? If you're going the lazy route, really go with it... wear an OSU shirt and say you're going as a retard or an asshole or something.Disclaimer: Wearing a bed sheet with a bunch of random holes cut in it does not count as lame.Poor Charlie Brow Read more:Crappy
, Costumes
Happy Halloween 2007-10-31 14:49:00 Please expect a string of Halloween
posts in the near future. I can make this promise because last Saturday night I was lucky enough to see The Creature From the Black Lagoon (in 3d). In order to even more so reassure this fact, Matt and Wynston were both there, and I could never ask for better muses of absurdity. Tonight, however, I will celebrate Halloween in my own way by reading Ray Bradbury’s classic short story The Homecoming. It is amazing. I shit you not. This book smells like pumpkins, tastes like taffy, and from the first bite you can feel the razor blade in it. I'll also be listening to The Misfits. I recommend this exercise to anyone out there who feels to old to trick or treat, or just too far away from home for anything to feel right. Halloween isn't like your birthday, it isn't depressing if you don;t do anything on Halloween, but it should be. Halloween is about getting into trouble, about stirring it up and bubbling over, and if there is any bit of little Read more:Happy
, Happy Halloween
Super Smash Bros. Project: The Sane Picks 2007-11-07 17:41:00 I don’t know how good this post will be… or rather, how funny it will be, which is pretty much the same thing when it comes to this. While Paul and Caleb picked characters like “that scientist from Goldeneye” and “the airplane at the beginning of Sonic 3” and “random Star Wars character no one but nerds know about (yes, I’m calling myself a nerd)”, I went with the rational choices and now feel boring. It really says a lot when I’m the sane one in a group, but without further ado, my choices for characters that should be in SuperSmash
Bros. Brawl (but won’t be)… 1. Conker Okay, come on… You know you want him in here, along with all the other Rare characters that aren’t in the game because Rare made the worst business decision in video game history and jumped ship to XBOX. You know the ones I’m talking about… Banjo and Kazooie, and um… the chick from Perfect Dark? Anyway, Conker is a squirrel who runs around making raunchy jokes, pissing on thin Read more:Project
A Sports Update 2007-11-06 21:20:00 I'm moving my sports related articles away from BSD and over to Kudronia... perhaps I should start calling it by its real name, Genuinely Sarcastic. But, I'm sure this will result in Kudron and I coming to blows, but it's a better fit for my sports ramblings than BSD is. It just didn't fit in our aesthetic of random crazy things... it was too mainstream. I assume I'll be writing about sports again in this space, but it will be much more about waxing nostalgic than any actual news articles. Except pieces like "Opening Day" than reports on specific games.As always, Caleb and I really appreciate all those of you who have come here over the past months and hope that you'll enjoy what comes next.Yours,Matt Read more:Sports
, Update
Happy Guy Fawkes Day 2007-11-05 16:39:00 Okay, first off, I really hate usurping Caleb's day of posting, but I had to... So, skip this and go read Caleb's post which is right below this one. Do it, now.Back?Alright... It's Guy Fawkes Day, a day that commerates the attempt by a group of Catholics to blow up Parliament while all the politicians and King was there, or it commerates the foiling of the plot... I can never remember. Who cares?Anyhow, it's an awesome day. Go watch V for Vendetta or something.I want that hat"Remember, remember the Fifth of November,The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,I know of no reasonWhy Gunpowder TreasonShould ever be forgot.Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intentTo blow up King and Parliament.Three-score barrels of powder belowTo prove old England's overthrow;By God's providence he was catch'dWith a dark lantern and burning match.Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!" Read more:Happy
The Super Smash Bros. Project 2007-11-05 16:00:00 With the advent of SuperSmash
Brothers Brawl close approaching we here at BSD decided to team up with CWTB, E and make a few bids for characters which felt should be featured in the game. Here are my three picks for Super Smash Brothers Brawl, if I had it my way:1. Prince / The Artist formerly know as Prince:As a response to the over abundance of Zelda characters in the Smash Bros. lineup (Link, young Link, Sheik, Zelda, Ganondorf, and Pit [who although not a Zelda character is essentially Link with wings]) Prince and The Artist formerly know as Prince are the perfect adversaries. A more magical and imaginary pair of fighters cannot be found. I know what you are thinking, “But BSD, Prince and The Artist aren’t in any video games?” This is true, but they should be. If Aerosmith can be in Revolution X, at least one incarnation of Prince should have a game. Super Smash Attack: Purple Rain, ability to change sex and name, and blasts of ecstasy from the Symbol of Love Guitar.2. Read more:Project
Henne to Manningham 2007-11-04 17:01:00 I’m sitting on the edge of the couch, watching, waiting for the kickoff. Michigan down by ten to the Spartans. My mind is reeling, trying not to think about what had happened to bring us here, trying to suppress that tightening in my gut. I try not to think about how well they had played coming out of the tunnel and how atrociously things had gone since the end of the first quarter, not to think about the first or eighth of September, not to wonder how hurt Hart really is. The game returns from commercial after the State extra point and I lean forward, my elbows on my knees, my hands clutching the sides of my face just in case the unthinkable happens and I need to jam my palms against my eye sockets. My right leg is bouncing up and down frantically, I don’t even notice until the girl next to me tells me that I’m shaking the entire couch. I laugh slightly, and mutter, “Sorry. I’m nervous.” I settle my leg down, it requires a conscious effort of will to keep it st
Stare into the Abyss 2007-11-13 18:11:00 There is nothing worse than reaching out desperately for someone to take your hand and pull you from the abyss, only to watch them stare back at you in confusion. Worse even than them looking down at you in derision, or callous indifference. To know that it’s not that they don’t want to help you, but that they cannot. How could they when you don’t even know what you’re searching for yourself? You’re just Holden wandering through the wintry streets of New York, faking a gunshot wound in a bathroom, running about with that goofy ass hat on. I want that hat. And the most fucked up thing is that I want to be Holden. I know I care too much, worry too much, analyze too much, think too much. I pace, fret and wonder about everything until I can’t do it anymore. But, I want that. Giving in would be too easy, being content would just feel like giving in. Feel like settling. It’s not that I’m unhappy, far from it really. That’s not to say that I’m ne Read more:Stare
Zork 2007-11-11 19:04:00 When I was a kid, I bought some sort of PC game magazine that normally came with a CD of demo games. I really have no idea what magazine it was anymore, but the issue I happened to pick up contained a CD not of demos, but full games from I don’t know how many years ago. I spent hours upon hours playing Red Baron, Wolfenstein, etc, etc… and of course Zork. The CD came with Zork I, II, and III, though I only ever really played the first one much. I figured I should beat that before going on to the sequels. While, I never got nearly that far, I did have my only experience with text based games, which apparently people played back before graphics or something like that… Let me just say, it was a weird game and probably not something most of you want to play, but it was kinda cool in its own way. Just a black screen with white text and muddling through it without any knowledge of what were commands and what weren’t. There was a forest and some sort of house with a mailbo
Street Car named NORAD 2007-11-09 12:57:00 Bus Drivers have got to be some of the scariest people on the road. Strike that, on the earth.Giving a bus driver a bus is like giving someone a scud missile to ride around on all day.I’m honestly scared for my life. It is insane the people they give these jobs to as it is. Have you ever met a bus driver? What do they have to lose?! And then we stick them with annoying kids and lost old people and incorrect change and we sit at the back and forget our stop and tug on the emergency stop rope till they crack. And it isn’t like these people aren’t already wound tight. You try being on a schedule that stiff all day, every day. Giving anyone a bus-driver-license is like hiring someone who is on suicide watch to work the night shift at NORAD. You’re just asking for trouble. I’ve seen the Die Hard movies. I’ve watched Speed and Sword Fish, I know just what a bus can do. Nothing stops a bus; not buildings, not people, not even other scud missiles or other busses or bombs Read more:Street
, named
The Cave 2007-11-19 17:26:00 Humans are the most messed up creatures on earth. I wish that meant more than it does, because the only reply to that statement is “no shit”, but hear me out… I just can’t imagine that any other intelligent being could be as stupid and emotional as we all are. We don’t understand one another and we don’t understand ourselves. We… ha… you all know that I’m just talking about myself. Not that projecting this aspect of me onto the rest of humanity is incorrect, I’m sure it’s right, but this is personal. We’re all fucked up, we’re all just chaotic jumbles of emotion staggering about in the dark and knocking into one another. We don’t know what we’re doing, we have no clue where we’re going, but we sure as hell aren’t going to admit that to anyone. We try to form rules for this existence, to make guidelines for how to form relationships and who to form them with. We try to artificially construct rules for responding to one another, but i
Cookies 2007-11-17 19:06:00 If only everything could be so simple... I need this after today. Read more:Cookies
Mech Mess 2007-11-14 22:29:00 It says so much about mankind as a group when you consider that we achieved the nuclear bomb before we achieved space travel. Our ability to create and execute new and exciting ways of killing one another is a characteristic unique to us and sure to go down in history as one of our great strengths, if not the greatest. Any way you look at it, our power of destruction is sure to by far out live us and be one of our longest lived marks on the face of the planet. Shakespeare jested that the man who builds the strongest vessel is not the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter, but the gravedigger. Carl Sagan just as poetically faced the absurdity of human destruction when he described the tens of thousands of nuclear weapons held by today’s civilized nations as “Genies of death, patiently awaiting the rubbing of the lamps,” power enough for “a world war II every second, for the length of a lazy afternoon.” With this great realization and promise of man’s ever more power
Megatron 2007-11-23 18:32:00 Calvin Johnson, wide receiver for the Detroit Lions, is nicknamed Megatron; the name of the most destructive and evil of perhaps all machines ever made; Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons, and arch-nemesis to Optimus Prime, and I don’t get it.Calvin Johnson is 6 ft 5 in, 235 lb, and un-fucking-stoppable.Megatron is essentially an AK-47 with a Gladius bayonet. Or at least he might as well be. There is nothing very admirable about this villain. He isn’t misunderstood like Lex Luthor or Darth Vader. Instead Magatron is more like the Death Star, he’s really big, made of metal, and has a giant gun. And, even though Megatron is so horrible and evil the Lions have still nicknamed one of their players after him. Why is this?Oh yeah, because he’s huge and un-fucking-stoppable. But that answer doesn’t satisfy me. First of all, HE’S A DAMN DETROIT PLAYER NOW! Why is a Detroit Lion, a motor city player, named after a Decepticon, and not an Autobot, their sworn enemies?!
Thanksgiving 2007-11-22 16:22:00 Well... football was watched, turkey was consumed and now I'm ready to recline and ride out this tryptophan induced hangover until I'm knocked out of it by some sort of phone call.So, Happy Thanksgiving
everyone! And let's just all be thankful that Ben Franklin's proposal to make the turkey the national bird failed.
State of the Blog 2 2007-11-20 19:06:00 Well, it's been almost eight months since Caleb and I started this thing, and more since this wacky idea popped into my head while I was in the shower. Despite some slow times, some bad cases of writer's block, I'm really proud of where we are at the moment. This will be our 88th post, which is sort of mind boggling when you think about it.Since I set up Google Analytics to track how many visitors we get, the numbers are as follows:Visits: 3,890Pageviews: 5,301We've had visitors from every state of the union save Alaska, Arkansas, Montana and New Mexico as well as from every continent (save Antarctica).Anyway, on Caleb's behalf, I would just like to say thank you to everyone that has ever stopped by, and especially to those who actually brave the weirdness to visit on a regular basis. You have no idea how much it means to both of us.Speaking of which, we really appreciate all of your comments, but it'd be nice if you gave us some sort of name (even if it's fake), it's nice t Read more:State
Revisited 2007-11-19 17:30:00 Today I found a porno-magazine in the middle of the road. It was all alone on the asphalt. The pages were turning one over another, back and forth, exposing young girls and their breasts and asses and more. When my bike tire rolled over the magazine I thought I heard the crunching of dry leaves but as I looked down I saw her. I saw her two legs, pinned down by me now, spread eagled underneath the rubber of my tire. Held there, her legs disjointed, her smile gazing up at me, wet and pink, spread wide across her youthful face. She is clean and pristine and nice but undeniably dirty and corrupted on the page. She looked happy to me. She looks happy to me still. She looked ready to make someone else happy too. “This girl is a giver,” I thought. “Someone who really understands the meaning of altruism. A real tart of empathy.”Suddenly, I’m passed it and before anything can register I’m hearing the leaves rustling again, pages turning quickly, full of nature and instin Read more:Revisited
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