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I deserve a first class seat 2009-01-14 11:13:00 A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class
section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave.
Do you see the dead bird? 2009-01-14 10:21:00 A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. "Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly.The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, "Where? Where?"
Shortage of parachutes 2009-01-14 10:20:00 A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.The pope told the brunette to take the last one.The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my back Read more:Shortage
I can't breathe without that 2009-01-14 10:18:00 A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head."I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde."You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde."I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed."I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"The beauty specialist, outraged and fluster Read more:breathe
How many sheep do I have? 2009-01-14 10:17:00 There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them."If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have on
Let's take a trip to Disney 2009-01-14 10:05:00 Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney
World in Florida.As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.
What type of prize did you win? 2009-01-14 10:04:00 A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize
sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, "I won a motor home! I won a motor home!"The waitress runs over and argues, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stero system!"The blonde replies, "No.
One wish to each 2009-01-14 10:02:00 Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp.After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."The first said, "I wish I were smarter."So, she became a redhead.The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."She became a brunette.The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of th
Blondes change a lightbulb 2009-01-14 10:01:00 Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?Blonde: Yes.Operator: The power in the house in on?Blonde: Of course.Operator: And the switch is on?Blonde: Yes, yes.Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?Blonde: No, it's working fine.Operator: Then wha Read more:Blondes
Make it off the island 2009-01-14 10:00:00 There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.The second one, the redhead, said
You've got mail 2009-01-14 09:59:00 A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."The blonde answered, "No, I am worki
Your kid has been kidnapped 2009-01-14 09:59:00 A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag
Do you realize what I am? 2009-01-14 09:56:00 A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?""Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
Don't give us a bad name 2009-01-14 09:55:00 There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there
Guess who knows the state capitals? 2009-01-14 09:49:00 A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'." Read more:Guess
I'm going ice fishing! 2009-01-14 09:44:00 A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".So she moves to another spot and cuts another hol
I Want to Buy That 2009-01-14 09:27:00 A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.Sure that
Are You Really Sure? 2009-01-14 09:27:00 A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. E
Blonde Car Accident 2009-01-14 09:26:00 One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.The blonde started laughing.This made the man angrier so he smashed her win Read more:Blonde
Loose Constructionists 2009-01-14 09:25:00 A road consturction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired. They are each assigned a section of the road. The first day, the blonde paints 2 miles, the redhead 1.5, and the brunette only 1. On the second day, the blonde paints 1 mile, the brunette 2, and the redheaed 2.5. On the third d Read more:Loose
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