Owner: The Pineapple Report URL:http://thepineappleprincess.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Wed, 18 Apr 2007 13:04:41 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: I like to comment on all sorts of things (from the absurd to the mundane) and nothing is off limits or out of bounds. You never know what this pineapple will report on next... Site statistics:Click here
Is it really OK for you to vote? 2007-04-27 23:58:00 So Karl Rove had this genius plan to make sure people that don't agree with Republicans will have a harder time voting. He thought it would be a great idea to require another form of identification in addition to your government issued voter card. So Rep. Betty Brown and a number of other representatives have introduced House Bill 218 requiring an additional form of ID to exercise your right to vote. This bill is going before the Senate State Affairs Committee on Monday. I guess that special card that they give you that is just for voting isn't enough. Maybe they can require a second ID for when you get pulled over because your driver's license isn't good enough for driving. Supporters of the bill claim that it prevents fraud. Their big example is that dead people voting is a huge problem in Texas. If you have a fake voter card issued to a dead person, then why wouldn't you have a fake driver's license to match? Besides, the people working at the poll don't have some ma
Texas wants to save your marriage 2007-04-27 05:05:00 I am so happy that our legislature is doing really important things. Our lawmakers are really concerned about marriage
. I guess they have lots of time to worry about this because all of our schools are properly funded, everyone in Texas
has access to health care, and we all have jobs because our economy couldn't be better. Yeah, right. For instance, the Texas Senate has decided that Texans don't take marriage seriously enough. They have passed a bill that will make couples seeking a no-fault divorce to wait an extra 30 days. Well, doesn't that protect the sanctity of marriage or what? I don't know what this will really fix. Are they hoping this will force more people to seek fault divorces. The only people that will help are the lawyers because they are more involved cases and they can rack up the billable hours. It doesn't help people or their children to drag out a divorce with proving how shitty the other person was as a husband or wife.Rep. Warren Chisum (R-Pampa) ha Read more:wants
Here is a story that makes me wonder... 2007-04-26 16:30:00 So Hugh Grant got arrested for hurling a can of baked beans at a photographer. There wasn't must to the "story
", it was really more of a blurb. But it made me wonder
under what circumstances do you even have a can of baked beans to throw at someone?tags: Hugh Grant arrested baked beans Read more:makes
I can't help it, but Idol keeps giving back 2007-04-26 16:13:00 In a post from yesterday, I admitted that I have a bad TV show addiction. For those of you that don't have this same problem, you missed the big duet! It isn't everyday that Celine Dion and Elvis sing together. Of course, there are many good reasons for this. Unfortunately, this clip cuts off before the best part (like Celine and Elvis singing together isn't enough!). After the big number, Ryan Seacrest mentions that this "tween" in the audience didn't understand what was going on. Was it because she didn't believe in Elvis enough to see him or that she just didn't know who he is? It is really hard to say. Thanks to the Elvis estate we get to see things like this:tags: American Idol Celine Dion Elvis Ryan Seacrest video youtube Read more:keeps
Who needs to worry about terrorists when we have plenty of homegrown assholes? 2007-04-26 05:46:00 Ever since the massacre at Virginia Tech, the bomb scares; school shootings; and suspicious packages have really gotten out of hand. Why worry
about people from other countries scaring us, when we can do the job ourselves? I've had it up to here with this crap. We have one complete nut job kill and injure a bunch of people that didn't deserve it and so now every other asshole thinks they have a free pass to scare people. For instance, the jack ass at St. Edward's that couldn't just skip school like a normal person. He/She/It had to leave a note that shut the whole place down. Then there was the dummy at UT that thought it would be funny to shut down the library with a bomb threat. Jerk. Today, there was the asshole that left a suspicious package at the Austin Women's Health Center. Women that choose to get abortions don't leave suspicious packages at your house just because you don't agree with their choice. Get a life, dumbass. So for all of you people out there thin
The first step is admitting your problem 2007-04-26 04:58:00 Alright, I confess. I enjoy watching American Idol. I know its kind of embarrassing, but its true. Admittedly I watch quite a few really bad shows. Even though the whole Idol Gives Back thing was a good cause (albiet horribly depressing), it may have been all worth watching the sad stuff to see Celine Dion sing a duet with Elvis. I'm sure it is just a matter of time before that freak show is up and running on youtube. You should look for it. It was almost as horrifying as the commercial that featured Fred Astaire dancing with a vacuum cleaner. Of course, if having to endure Sanjaya's bad singing and his stupid hair styles every week hasn't stopped me from watching this season, then I'm guessing the freaky Elvis duet thing wont either. Actually, I know I am going to watch next week because they couldn't kick anyone off on a charity show and they are getting rid of two of them next week. But at least I have made the first step and admitted I have a crappy TV show addiction Read more:admitting
Is your poodle really a sheep? 2007-04-29 19:35:00 That's what many Japanese people are discovering. Maiko Kawakami, a Japanese actress, appeared on a talk show and brought pictures of her new "poodle". She said that she didn't understand why it didn't bark or eat dog food. That's when she found out it wasn't a poodle, or even a dog. She had spent over $1200 (US) on a sheep. After her TV appearance many other victims began contacting the police because they too had purchased sheep and not poodles. Japanese police claim that poodles are rare in Japan, but sheep don't even look like dogs!This is a poodle......and this is a sheeptags: Maiko Kawakami Japan Poodle Sheep Scam
Funny (or maybe sexy) picture of the day 2007-04-29 16:13:00 This picture of Ninel Conde posing backstage at the Billboard Latin Music Awards is one of Yahoo's Most Emailed Pictures today. My question is: why? Is it because people think the boob shot is sexy? Or do they think it is funny?I'm sure that normally Ms. Conde is very attractive when she poses for the camera. But this picture is not a very good example of her beauty. In fact, this picture is hilarious. She looks like she is about to pee her pants. Maybe next time she will remember to powder her nose before posing for the camera. I'll have my people call her people.tags: Ninel Conde The Billboard Latin Music Awards Photo Boobs Read more:Funny
Here's the good news, you have until August 16th to save your pennies 2007-04-28 17:42:00 That is the day Steve McQueen's Ferrari is going to be auctioned off at Christie's. They estimate that it will go for somewhere between $800K and $1.2 million. So if you start saving now, it could be yours. Now that's hot.tags: The King of Cool Steve McQueen Ferrari Christie's Auction Read more:August
GOP Debate = Drinking Game 2007-05-04 00:11:00 I was reading today that since the GOP Presidential Debate
is being held at the Reagan Presidential Library that the hopefuls will try to compare themselves to this former president. Just to be clear, I am not the one that came up with the idea of this being a drinking game.This is the quote from the article I read: "If this debate were a drinking game, and you had to imbibe every time you hear the word 'Reagan,' you would pass out before the closing remarks,'' predicted Bill Whalen, a research fellow at the Hoover Institution at Stanford University.So, if you are still into that kind of thing you can watch the debate tonight at 5 p.m. PDT on MSNBC and at www.politico.com. Let me know how it goes.tags: GOP President Debate Reagan Drinking
Game
Bobum! 2007-05-10 23:54:00 Happy Birthday!"You're older than you've ever been.And now you're even older.And now you're even older.And now you're even older.You're older than you've ever been.And now you're even older.And now you're older still."-They Might Be Giantstags: Happy Birthday Bobum They Might Be Giants TMBG Older
This is the summer of 3 2007-05-11 02:12:00 It is that time of year -- summer blockbuster movies galore. Just like every year, the majority of them are crap. Usually we are faced with a bunch of sequels to crappy movies -- and there are some of those coming soon to a theater near you. But what is special about this summer is that Hollywood is banking on the fact that you liked some of those sequels so much that you want to the third one.Here is a list of the ones I can think of:Spider-Man 3Rush Hour 3Oceans 13Shrek the ThirdThe Bourne UltimatumResident Evil: ExtinctionPirates of the Carribean: At World's EndSee what I mean? But what really suprises me is that I actually want to see some of those movies. What is wrong with me? Maybe I should just go see Hot Fuzz two more times instead...tags: Spider-Man 3 Rush Hour 3 Oceans 13 Shrek the Third The Bourne Ultimatum Resident Evil: Extinction Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End Hot Fuzz Summer Blockbuster Movies Three
A Stupid Way To Save Money 2007-05-16 02:39:00 The Texas House and Senate are up to it again. They have decided that they really need to legislate marriage some more. On Monday, they passed an "incentive" bill to get couples to go to counseling before applying for a marriage license. They want to raise the fee for a marriage license to $60. BUT if you go to an 8 hour marriage class first, you can get your license for the discounted price of $30. I don't see how paying $60 or an 8 hour course will slow down the divorce rate that is such a concern to Warren Chism (Republican/Nazi - Pampa). Once you are an adult, you are free to make all kinds of stupid decisions. I would like to pass a bill to stop the government from wasting time and start fixing things that really need it. Maybe if people had a better basic education, they would have the skills they need to make better decisions. Just a thought...tags: Politcs Texas Marriage Chisum Government Get Out of My Personal Business Read more:Stupid
, Money
Jerry's Last Time 2007-05-15 22:29:00 So Jerry
Falwell died today at the age of 73. He was found unconscious in his office at Liberty University and rushed to the hospital. He probably died because he has "a history of heart challenges," but they aren't saying.Jerry Falwell has brought us some good times. Like founding a college with an ironic name. I guess liberty is limited to what he thinks god wants you to do and think. He also brought us fun phrases like when he told us that the bible talks about "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." Thanks, Jerry! That one never gets old.He said other things like gays, lesbians and health workers who provide abortions were partly to blame for the September 11 attacks. I guess you got to blame someone, because god doesn't like us to explain things by saying "shit happens."Then there's the "Moral Majority." Weeeee! Way to get a rabid minority of bible thumpers to highjack the Republican party. Barry Goldwater probably rolls over in his grave everytime someone mentions those
Hello, Republican Party of Texas! 2007-05-19 16:17:00 I'm so glad you could stop by! Apparently, ya'll are looking for information about Pretty Boy Perry. I'm mean that is the page you visited. But you didn't stay very long. I hope I didn't scare you off. I have so many other entries that you might be interested in. I have a whole series of blogs about my buddy Alberto and about all of the stupid things you people have been trying to accomplish this session. But please come back, you are always welcome. Even though you are too busy trying to dictate my personal actions and moral welfare rather than solving the pressing issues like education and health care.tags: Texas
Politics RepublicanParty
of Texas Rick Perry Read more:Hello
Paris Hilton Goes to Jail 2007-05-19 16:03:00 I haven't written anything about the trials and tribulations of Paris
because everybody else has, I don't care all that much, and I think she deserves to go to jail. But, I did read something interesting. Apparently, her sentence has already been reduced for good behavior even though she hasn't even checked in yet. Let's face it, her behavior hasn't been that great. If it had been, we wouldn't know who she is in the first place and she would not have violated her parole. Oh well, I'm sure she will look hot in that orange jumpsuit.tags: Paris Hilton Read more:Paris Hilton
Bikers, bikers galore! 2007-05-31 10:08:00 That's right, the ROT Rally is here one again. So all you drivers need to take extra care for our visiting friends on bikes starting today. You are bigger and protected. They will die if you hit them. Just something to think about. Besides, if you pay attention you are likely to see something like ASTRO riding his Harley about town (click for bigger). And the Pineapple friends are welcome to come over on Friday before the parade -- don't forget to bring beer and a chair because there are a lot of bikes. Vrooooooooooom!tags: Austin Texas ROT Rally Harley bike parade
The world is a crazy place 2007-05-30 12:26:00 And the people living in it aren't helping things. Dick Cheney became a grandpa again. This time by his lesbian daughter, Mary, and her partner, Heather Poe. It baffles the mind how you can be so hateful towards gay people and their personal life choices and still have a relationship with your daughter that is one. I don't know how she puts up with his bullshit and hypocracy. But I guess that is their business.In light of this, the rabidly insane christians are out for blood. Please see the press release below (written by a former homosexual -- go figure that one out). The Parents Group has a strange concept of what a "real" parent is. Apparently, Heather Poe is not a real parent even though she is going to be the one that performs all of the necessary functions that a parent performs. According to them, the only real parents you can have are your biological daddy and your biological mommy. I know people that are adopted and they consider their adopted parents to be pretty
It may melt your brain, but its good for you! 2007-06-02 00:15:00 Usually I don't give banner ads much thought, but the whole idea of vitamins and minerals in diet drinks kinda blew me away. So, if you have a drink that is really bad for you and put something in it that is good for you, do these two things cancel one another out? I guess it is kind of like jogging to the corner store to get a candy bar...On a related note, they did bring back Vanilla Coke. This is a mixed blessing for me. Before Vanilla Coke, I had given up all varieties of cokes. Then they took it away and I was able to break the addiction once more. What is an addicted Pineapple to do?tags: Diet Coke Plus Vanilla Coke
Oh, Nessie! 2007-06-01 12:21:00 Is that really you? Earlier this week, Gordon Holmes shot a video at Loch Ness of some creature swimming in the water. Could it be you, Nessie? Holmes turned his tape over for further scientific investigation and BBC Scotland thought the quality of the tape was good enough to air it. Since I've always been intrigued by the Loch Ness Monster, this story caught my eye. Here is the news clip:tags: Gordon Holmes Loch Ness Monster Scotland BBC video youtube
New Drug on the Market 2007-06-05 10:19:00 tags: 2008 Election President Hillary Clinton OxyClinton youtube Read more:Market
Paris goes to Jail 2007-06-04 23:26:00 Finally, Paris
has gone to jail. Blah, blah, blah. Everybody's talking about it. I'm over it. So can we stop talking about it already? But before we do, I do want to comment on this creepy picture I saw today. In honor(?) of her jail time, Madame Tussaud's has changed the outfit on Paris' wax dummy in New York. The wax dummy will be wearing this lovely striped number for the whole time that the real dummy is in the L.A. County Jail. How special and really, very creepy.tags: Paris Hilton wax dummy jail Madame Tussaud's
Wristwatch-Gate 2007-06-13 10:40:00 So our pal W went to Albania and got a rockstar reception. Apparently he found the only place in the world where they still love him. And he encountered someone that loved him so much that they stole the watch right off his wrist. Check out the video:tags: bush watch stolen Albania video youtube
Alberto don't need no stinkin' confidence 2007-06-11 16:18:00 I guess Alberto
is in a fabulous mood today. There just aren't enough votes for the "no confidence" resolution to pass the Senate. Al, you really should wipe that shit eating grin off your face. The fact that there was even the possiblilty that the Senate could bring this up means that they think you suck. Now Arlen Specter said he would vote for the resolution. When the top Republican is willing to vote on the "you suck" resolution against one of his own, you know you suck really bad. The only thing that is saving you now is that Baby Boy Bush likes you so much. And that isn't saying much since he has proven to be a bad judge of who is qualified to do a job (Harriet Miers, anyone?). Wouldn't it be nice if the rest of us could have this kind of job security?tags: Alberto Gonzales Senate No Confidence Arlen Specter Harriet Miers photo
Bye bye, Bob! 2007-06-19 09:21:00 Like a lot of people I really loved The Price Is Right. I always wanted to be on that show, but I just never made it. I guess it just seemed like Bob Barker would be hosting that show forever and that I had plenty of time to make that trip. Was I ever wrong. I grew up watching. Bob started hosting that show one week after I was born. During summer breaks, one of the games my neighborhood friends and I played was The Price Is Right. We would pull canned goods and household items out of my parents' pantry for pricing games (to win invisible new cars) and I would come up with the prizes for the showcases (often lovely vacations or a dinette set with the carpet included). I was usually Bob Barker and I loved it. It was way more fun than being a contestant. You know I'm thinking they still haven't announced a replacement for Bob. Maybe I should audition? I mean I can host that show without sets or actual prizes, so think how good I would be if I had those advantages. But rea
The Case of the Missing Pants 2007-06-25 23:55:00 I am so glad that this case has been solved. If they had hired Nancy Drew (the book version, not the screwball movie version), she would have actually found the pants and the meaning of "Satisfaction Guaranteed". Then they wouldn't have gone to court to fight over $54 million and what the meaning of satisfaction. What a joke. I don't know what those pants were made out of and I don't know what expectation Roy L. Pearson has when he goes to the dry cleaner, but that is ridiculous. It common knowledge that dry cleaners around the world lose and ruin clothes everyday. You complain and they give you money to reimburse you for your loss. Or at least that has been my experience, but then again I don't have multi-million dollar pants. The dry cleaners don't become liable for the tune of $67 million when they screw up. That's right, Pearson originally sought $67 million because the cleaner tried to return a pair of pants that had been altered in addition to losing the blue and m Read more:Missing
, Pants
Which is better? 2007-06-25 12:37:00 This?or this?tags: youtube video drama prairie dog parody Read more:better
Oh! The Idiots! 2007-06-25 09:42:00 Now that I have a lot more time to blog, I don't have a thing to say. Mostly because I am tired of all the idiots.I guess I could rant about the plan to put up a fence on the border. In McAllen, Texas, the fence divides up the college there. Not to mention the fact that this plan basically cedes our land to Mexico by changing the border. The border presently falls in the middle of the Rio Grande, but this plan effectively changes that. Also, all of the bridges maintianed by the United States will now be on the Mexican side of the fence. Whoever decided that putting up a fence was a good idea was an idiot.Or I could complain about Pretty Boy Perry's latest stunt. By using his line item veto, he cut funding to community colleges. Way to make sure that kids that can't afford to go to state universities can't afford to got to community college either. Way to make it more expensive to get trained in a vocation. There is nothing more productive and helpful to the economy than m Read more:Idiots
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