Owner: cool beans URL:http://coolbeansmama.wordpress.com Join Date: Fri, 13 Apr 2007 15:24:13 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: This is the personal but public diary of a 30-something woman who is a wife, mother, survivor and volunteer. She tends to be easily irritated by people, but is working on being as friendly on the inside as she is on the outside. Or not. Site statistics:Click here
Wondering 2007-04-13 16:10:06 Would the Sudafed work better if I grind it up and snort it?
God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut 2007-04-12 19:33:00 “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” - Kurt Vonnegut
, Mother Night
Read more:Bless
Sometimes I say things that are monumentally stupid. 2007-04-12 18:11:41 Jen’s mother’s comments reminded me of this exchange between me and my mother a few years ago.
Mom: Your grandparents are really impressed with your children. They think you’re a great mother.
Me: Thanks. I learned it all from the internet.
Read more:Sometimes
, things
Elemental Suckage 2007-04-11 09:07:47
I always wanted my son to have a skateboard (if he wanted one, of course, which he does, of course, because I said so, of course). Not so long ago, he mentioned he’d like to have a skateboard. HOORAY! PARTY TIME! CONFETTI! So I took him to buy a real and really awesome skateboard. While we were waiting for the guy to assemble it, I pretended to be all concerned and very much not thrilled. We came home and I took pictures of him holding his skateboard. He couldn’t stop smiling. The sun was shining. Happiness was all around.
But then we worried about his head. It looks so breakable when he’s flying down the street on a narrow board with wheels. For Easter, the magic bunny got the boy a helmet. And cleverly tucked the basket inside. After church on Sunday, we stopped at home to fetch Jello eggs, popcorn cake and the helmet and skateboard. But there was a teensy problem: The skateboard was missing.
The very expensive Element skateboard is missing.
It still hasn’t
Some Day My Prince Will Come 2007-04-09 19:40:39 Found on YouTube via BlogHer (linked in my Google Reader Clips):
Before I had a television-watching child, I swore I wouldn’t “do” Disney. I had a list of reasons why we would be mouse free. It didn’t work out that way and I can’t remember more than one or two of the reasons I would have rattled off to you back then. We have stacks of Disney movies and things. I could say I feel like I failed in this aspect, but mostly I decided this wasn’t a battle I wanted to fight. I do think it is important to point those things out to my kids when we’re watching. Some of those questions:
Would you give up your voice for a man?
If strong and powerful man doesn’t want you, can you be happy or free?
Who is the hero in this story? The man or the woman? Who one is weak? Who is powerful?
Who is the “bad guy”? What does he or she look like? Blue eyes? Blond hair? Fat? Attractive? Why are they drawn that way?
If your brother doesn’t stop c Read more:Prince
Holiday Hangover 2007-04-09 17:31:36 I didn’t have a drop of alcohol yesterday, but I feel like I should have rubbed lemon in my armpits before going to bed last night. My brain is trying to gnaw through the front of my head. Every time my little guy cough-barks, I want to peel my face off and set my chomping brain free. I’m not sure I’ll make it to noon.
In order to survive Easter and its lilies, I have to take allergy medicine. It made me cranky and tired and I’m sure everyone had a grand time hanging out with my snarling self yesterday.
We did have a reasonably pleasant holiday with early morning egg hunting in our living room followed by breakfast at church and lunch at Grandma’s.
Blah blah blah.
Last week or the week before, I followed a link from one blog to another and found this idea for filling a long, shallow box with rice for an indoor “sand” box. I spent an hour this morning trying to track down that link, so if you know where I saw it, holla. Thanks.
Edit: Toddler P Read more:Holiday
Would I even want to be June Cleaver? 2007-04-07 17:18:47
Nordette at BlogHer asks
…do we see ourselves realistically or do we compare ourselves to some Super Parent figment of our imaginations, a myth, that makes us seem like failures?
I’m guilty of comparing myself to my perception of other parents. Even when I’m logging a lot of hours with my kids at school or helping at church, the nag in the back of my brain accuses me of not doing enough. “The other parents do more. They’re better parents. They’re more organized. They’re not selfish like I am.” The worst part? I’m thinking all those things when I’m THERE helping and participating. I minimize my involvement and exaggerate other parents’ good behavior. Where does this come from? Why do I allow it to continue? Do you entertain these thoughts or have you succeeded in knocking them out of your head?
(Comment here or log into BlogHer to share your thoughts with Nordette.)
Hangover cure? Lemony Fresh Underarms! 2007-04-06 04:28:51 Tuesday night I stayed up late to finish reading The Mermaid Chair. I could have put the book down and gone to sleep much earlier, but I knew I could finish by 1:00 and feel proud of myself for reading a whole book (minus fifty pages) in one day. In the last few years, I can’t say I’ve finished a book in one year so this was pretty exciting.
Okay. Not really exciting. But something. Pipe down before I swat you with my cane.
Anyway, I turned out the light and waited for sleep. And I waited. By 2:00, when I was ready to give up, it was too late to take something to knock myself out. I saw 4:30 before finally hitting that sweet spot of good, deep sleep. Mysteriously, I somehow managed to make it through yesterday without falling over.
Today, however, has been a struggle. I have that itchy feeling inside my head where the static builds up when I don’t get enough sleep. My face feels hot and my skin is tired. I tried to nap, but I couldn’t. My eyes were closed and I
Legal Mumbo Jumbo 2007-04-05 03:05:05 I’ve been reading about copyright and trademark and blah blah blah this stuff is HARD. But all this digging and head pounding is worth it for this bit of awesomeness from the U.S. Copyright Office:
“How do I protect my sighting of Elvis?”.
Read more:Jumbo
Cops and Robbers or Elemental Suckage Part II and Fin 2007-04-17 07:28:11 Since Easter Sunday, we have been fretting over the disappearance of one very awesome and very awesomely expensive skateboard. We have looked high and low. We probably even picked something up and moved it to look behind it. A trip to the pawn shop was on the calendar and we were seriously considering the very generous offer of a spectacularly awesome pair of human beings who wanted to replace the board for us.
You know this is going to have a good ending already, don’t you?
As my son was walking home from baseball practice tonight, he saw a kid skating in front of the neighbor’s house. The kid attempted to perform a kickflip. If you are familiar with the trick or if you’re clicking that link, you know that this maneuver flashes the bottom of the deck to someone standing in front of you. In that second, my son saw what he thought was the design of his board. When the kid failed to land the trick, the board landed bottom-up and cemented my son’s suspicions.
He ap
:( & :) 2007-04-19 19:36:07 Not funny:
There’s a dead rabbit in my front yard.
Funny:
I need to get my drink on.
2007-04-21 02:38:01 This little bit about my day is going to start off with a really boring sentence. You might get up and stretch and snort some coke before proceeding. Ready? Here we go.
This morning I had my teeth cleaned. This is notable for a couple reasons.
My mouth really hurts. I feel like she pulled out my teeth, grated my gums and shoved the teeth back in willy-nilly. Flossing is important, people. We also talked about the possibility of getting a bridge so I can greatly disappoint the cat who digs toothlessness.
Upon hearing my son is four and that I’m staying home with him now, two people remarked, “So he’ll go to preschool next year, then?” Each time I said, “I think we’re going to do that at home.” And then I had an anxiety attack. Twice.
Aside from flossing faithfully once my mouth stops throbbing, I can’t do much about my teeth. I decided I could do something about the preschool question and accompanying panic. I brought this home from libr
You’ll want to click that link. Promise. 2007-04-23 04:33:52 Want to read something that will make you laugh AND explode your heart into a trillion little pieces? Of course you do.
And the pajama pants had a hole in the crotch and I wasn’t wearing underwear. There. I said it. And I’m sorry.
Disaster Cake 2007-04-23 04:17:44 I’ve never baked a cake from scratch before. I was bored today and thought I’d give it a try. Here are some things you should know about baking cakes:
The instructions are spiteful bitches that want to see you fail so they don’t tell you that Martha Stewart is right about the parchment paper. “Grease and flour,” they say. Then they laugh at you behind your back. The instructions are the Mean Girls.
If you don’t have wire racks to cool the cakes on after baking, an ungreased, inverted pizza pan is a poor substitute. Though, if the cake will ooze through the pizza pan holes, I’m not sure how a rack would have been better.
Good news: If the cake doesn’t come out of the pan, you can indeed scrape the guts out and mush them back into the cake.
More good news: If you make scratch cakes the way I make scratch cakes, making frosting it unnecessary. Unless you’re seriously crazy.
You’d have to be seriously crazy to try frosti Read more:Disaster
This is a list of things I’ve been doing 2007-04-27 04:33:40 In between naps and mixing up chocolate muck, I’ve been doing
some stuff. This week I’ve…
submitted my volunteer application to a women’s shelter. I haven’t been officially approved or trained yet, but I did get to go fetch groceries for them. The woman who was showing me how it all works is very high-energy. I mostly just chased her around the store panting and dropping canned goods because I was nervous. About grocery shopping.
started taking inventory in my kitchen. So far, I’ve done two shelves of cans and boxes. Roaring start! We have a lot of canned corn and tomatoes.
searched for new and exciting ways to prepare rice*. I made Spanish rice. I’m going to make beans and rice. I want to make sushi rolls from this cookbook, but can I do that with regular rice? Also, if we don’t like them, can I return opened jars of wasabi powder and sesame oil and why is nori SO EXPENSIVE? Is a jar of sliced ginger the same as “pickled ging Read more:things
Overheard & Observed 2007-04-26 20:47:27 In line at the grocery store “mega-sale” this morning:
But that money is for my wieners and lettuce.
Fifteen seconds later:
But that money is for my wieners and lettuce.
Not getting the reaction he’d hoped:
I gotta get my wieners and lettuce. You know I like my wieners. And lettuce.
Also, people go CRAZY for discounted toilet paper.
(I scored some root beer.)
Tiny Conversation 2007-04-30 18:45:13 “Mommy, what are you doing?”
“Cleaning up your sister’s puke. Go eat your waffle.”
Read more:Conversation
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Crescent Fresh 2007-04-28 17:18:19 I’m not kidding when I say, “I love sock puppets!”
Have a crescent fresh weekend, peeps.
Read more:Crescent
Enthusiastic Pronunciation 2007-05-01 23:53:25 I’m not Catholic but some of my favorite churches are because they are beautiful and inspiring and have lots of pretty candles. The church some of my family attends isn’t one of those churches. It’s a new-fangled “semi-circle” church of which I am not fond. This particular church usually has some really great music, though, so I forgive its new-fangledness.
Except…
This weekend the gentleman leading the prayer and singing response was ENTHUSIASTIC. “Enthusiastic
” in flashing neon lights holding sparklers and wearing a kicky party hat. When he sang “hear our prayer” with all that enthusiasm, it sounded like “Hearl yowr” and giggling was not optional.
Read more:Pronunciation
Links for Loralee 2007-05-03 19:01:41 Loralee requested her readers share their favorite blogs. My comment got long and linkalicious. So I’m making her come here. HA! Tricked you, Loralee.
Essential Reading:
small hands
My most favorite blog of all time. First weblog I read beginning to end.
Confessions of a Pioneer Woman
How was I not reading this forever? Love. her.
Everything Is Wrong With Me
Hilarious.
ReadySteadyGo.
She hooked me with this post. Go.
Here In Idaho
Cracks.me.up.
Obsessing Obsessively: Social Anxiety 2007-05-07 23:46:14 Saturday I helped backstage with my nine-year old daughter’s dance class. Recital day is hectic but fun and I look forward to it every year. It approaches and I think, “I get to talk to other moms and that will be great!” Then it’s the big day and I see the other moms and something in my brain short circuits. I get nervous and don’t know what to say. Or, I think I know what to say and feel good about it… until the next day.
I was talking to my friend about the recital and my inability to stop obsessing over my interaction with other people. After a social encounter, I replay the conversation and scene over and over and over in my head and wonder if I should have said that or if that hug was awkward. Did I say too much or too little? Was I weird? Overbearing? Hyper? Bitchier than usual? Could that other woman tell that I intensely dislike her? Did she understand that comment or does she think I’m racist? I spent my Sunday having Fluttery Stomac Read more:Social
Skinny Sipping 2007-05-10 21:07:41 There’s a drinking fountain in the reference room at our library. My little guy has to get a drink every time he sees it. Today was just like any other day until he walked up to it and dropped his pants.
Four point five point five point five 2007-05-10 07:06:37 I have read four and a half (and a half and a half) books during my unemployment. This is four and a half (and a half and a half) more books than I read all last year. Possibly in the last two years, even. Now I am going to tell you about them. If you have a recommendation for future library trips, do not be shy. The books I enjoy the most are those recommended to me. Especially if you’re super cool or really hot. Which you totally are.
Four books:
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt (Fascinating.)
The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd (I liked it, but it skated on the edge of emotionally manipulative.)
Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel (Llllllllllllove this. You can cheat and get the movie - but it’s subtitled so you’ll still have to read. Haha!)
Something nonfiction related to a volunteering thing I do. (Yawn.)
“and a half”:
I am in the middle of The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides. After reading and loving Middlesex a Read more:point
I’ve got nothin’. 2007-05-09 04:29:56 Everything I had to say I’ve said at Twitter. I am hooked.
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