Owner: cool beans URL:http://coolbeansmama.wordpress.com Join Date: Fri, 13 Apr 2007 15:24:13 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: This is the personal but public diary of a 30-something woman who is a wife, mother, survivor and volunteer. She tends to be easily irritated by people, but is working on being as friendly on the inside as she is on the outside. Or not. Site statistics:Click here
What don’t you know? 2007-11-06 09:40:33 MammaLoves has been challenged by a friend to share more of herself on her blog.
She says:
Get to know me, and you might be surprised. Though I haven’t really given you the opportunity have I? And there’s the irony. I’ll admit here that I’ve peed all over myself in a port-o-let or that the Brazillian is the only way to go, but what have I shared about my life experiences?
You can see what I had to say about this in the comments on her post, What You Don’t Know.
What don’t you know about me? What do you want to know? If you know me in “real life”, how am I different in person and online?
Four Square and Devil Horns 2007-11-05 11:33:20 Some things I think you should know:
I will destroy you in four square if you are younger than ten. Unless, of course, you’re a big cheater.
When aiding in a classroom at a parochial school, it is probably best not to make devil horns and hoarsely declare, “I rock” while addressing the students. Want to know why? I will tell you.
I looked to Wikipedia for an explanation of “devil horns” so I could link to it. Then I read it and now I feel bad. Holy crap, that’s not a nice gesture. I should probably stop teaching my four-year old how to do it.
Read more:Square
, Devil
, Horns
Here’s how you make some pizza, lazypants! 2007-11-13 20:37:58 I spent the day in another city attending a workshop for the thing I do in exchange for a paycheck. It was good. I like what I do. Also, I like it when there’s an annoying person in a classroom. I mean, I generally hate that person, but am endlessly amused at how annoying they are.
It was really cold in the room, though, and I have a headache from being cold all day.
I let my husband do all the kid-shuttling tonight and actually had some time to read. I got my hands on Deceptively Delicious today. The recipes look good and I might actually try some of them, but I’d rather try to get my kids to eat squash and cauliflower without all the hassle of cooking, pureeing, freezing, thawing, masking, cooking again, etc.
I’ll tell you what we had for dinner (even though you probably don’t care!) and though it doesn’t contain any Brussels sprouts puree, it was super tasty:
Wait. I didn’t know I was going to do this, so I didn’t take pictures. Use your ima
Dear [fill in the blank]: 2007-11-12 12:29:44 Dear Wonder Pets: I think you are sewiously fabulous. Your new relationship with my DVR has had a very positive effect on my ability to ignore my kid. Wonder Pets! YAY!
Dear Lay’s Kettle Cooked Chips in Jalapeno flavor: My love for you burns like a big fire in my mouth.
Dear NBC: Thank you for Thursdays.
Dear Alan Jackson: We laid rubber on the Georgia asphalt. We gotta little crazy but we never got caught.
Dear sister: Please return my Mitch Hedberg cd. YESTERDAY.
Dear people I help at work: Please continue to say wacky, messed up crap. It makes my day that you want to see “something with a lot of….a lot of…a lot of, you know…scenery and things. Just a lot of scenery and maybe some animals. Nice scenery and lots of animals and babies….”
Dear NaBloPoMo: I’m trying to do you, not talk about you. But you make it so hard. I want to lean on you and say, “NaBloPoMo, you are kicking my ass.” But you’re not. I’m kicki Read more:blank
The Notebook 2007-11-11 22:09:31 This was part of yesterday’s entry that got cut. I liked it too much to scrap it, so here it is. A description of the book that holds my crazy.
The cover is black and sturdy. It makes a nice, full sound when you rap your knuckles against it. A strong spiral binding, round enough to slip a pen into its middle. The first page is blank. Written mostly in order from the beginning, jumping once or twice when thoughts rushed out right where the book fell open. Sometimes the words are in cursive. In other places printed neatly, as though each letter was significant. Crude stick figure drawings, scribblings, words and pictures crossed out - the paper nearly worn through from the tip of an angry pen. Screams slashed into the margins. Phrases written again and again down the length of the page. Notes for major players written clockwise around the edges. Letters not sent stapled back inside; a letter received taped in sideways. The last half of the book appears undisturbed. If you picked up Read more:Notebook
When you’re tired of pushing the car up the hill, don’t just let go. Ask for help. 2007-11-10 22:54:31 I spent several hours today thinking about what to write. I looked for memes. I checked out writing prompts. I considered ripping off Plain Jane by pulling together my own “Go Read It Today” post.
Instead, I checked my archives to send you back to a post from 2006. But this time last year, I wasn’t writing. At least, I wasn’t writing online.
My empty blog archive sent me to my secret hiding spot for the real dirt my brain coughs up. I dug out the paper journal I’d used last year in the middle of an emotional avalanche. I tipped the notebook back and forth between my palms, feeling its weight, wondering if this wasn’t a really stupid idea. Maybe today’s the day to write bad haiku.
Deep breath
crease the spine
dive inside
There wasn’t an entry for today. In fact, there was a gap between the end of October and the end of November. The closest I came was “I haven’t journaled for almost a month.”
Open to Fall
no words for t Read more:tired
Meme: Unconscious Mutterings 2007-11-18 22:53:13 I used to do these quite often.
Unconscious
Mutterings
Toasty :: Warm
Allegations :: not guilty
Herb :: WKRP in Cincinnati
Bacon :: Kevin
Neck to neck :: geese
Simon :: Cowell
Heels :: high shoes
Fundamentals :: basketball practice
Middle :: School
Seasonings :: flavor
Number three is the best. Hooray for my brain.
Cincinnati is hard to spell, yo.
Similar features, shorter hair 2007-11-17 20:50:17 It’s been a really long time since I’ve seen my dad in person. While I was out with my daughter today, I saw a man who looked a lot like my dad. It was startling how much. I kept glancing over, trying to decide if that’s what my dad would look like with shorter
hair and carrying a little more weight.
My brain twisted around and around looking for the answer. I finally asked my daughter to look. “Who is that man?” She looked and said, “I don’t know.” I asked, “Is that your grandpa?” She looked again. “No. He looks like him, though.”
The man got up and left and I was suddenly unable to hide the fact that I was trembling. I put my head down and started to cry. My daughter was perplexed. “Why are you crying?” I told her I didn’t know exactly. That I thought it might really be him.
She said, “I would think I’d be glad to see my dad if I were you.” Then she said something else. I don&r Read more:features
This and That 2007-11-16 12:36:09 For those of you who don’t give a flying rodent’s hindquarters about blogrolling and WordPress and blah blah blah blah blah, I’ll catch you up on the week’s odds and ends. Because that is SO much more fun to read about.
Books and why I’m awesomer than Oprah.
I read Middlesex years ago. Oprah just caught on this last year. I bought The Pillars of the Earth two full weeks before I saw a copy with Oprah’s sticker on it. I think she’s spying on me and I think y’all should be keeping a close eye on my Goodreads shelves.
Speaking of Goodreads…
You might have missed my killer review of Happy Housewives by Darla Shine. Lucky for you, I’m all about pointing you in the right direction: My review of Happy Housewives by Darla Shine. (Now that I’ve said all that about Oprah being a few steps behind me, I’ll admit that when it comes to dissing Ms. Shine, I’m late to the game. I’m still awesomer than Oprah.)
I get ar
Another Way To Blogroll 2007-11-16 11:52:19 This is a follow-up to yesterday’s post about blogrolling. There’s some helpful information there as well as links to a great new way to link to others in your blogging community. Today’s post is yet another way to manage your links. I hope you find it useful.
Looking for another way to do blogroll, I found another great function in my Google Feed Reader. Using the tags in your Reader, you can create a blogroll. In fact, you can create several blogrolls. Your blogroll can be a list of the blogs in your reader, OR it can be a list of the most recent posts that your favorite bloggers have published. Let me tell you how:
First, if you’re not using Google’s feed reader to keep up with your favorites, go fix that now. I’ll be here when you’re done.
Once you’re in, click Settings. If you’d like to keep some of your feeds private, or if you’d like to create separate blogrolls, this is where you will add tags to your subscriptions. F Read more:Blogroll
Blogrolling 2007-11-15 14:16:01 When I started blogging in 2004, every weblog I visited had a blogroll, usually powered by Blogrolling. Over the course of two posts in March of 2006, I discussed the pros and cons of maintaining a “traditional” blogroll. In the end, I made my feed reader list public so everyone could see what I was reading.
I wasn’t alone in this decision to nix my blogroll. Many bloggers were doing the same, for any and all of the following reasons: blogrolls felt like popularity contests, linking to anyone and everyone didn’t fit with the intimacy of blogging, de-linking caused hurt feelings, not being linked to felt like a snub. Others talked about the mechanics of blog rankings and drawbacks of having too many links on your front page (I still don’t understand how this works since I don’t know where my page ranks and/or why I should care.) Sometime later, I started using Google’s Feed Reader and began sharing my favorite blog posts via Google’s Reade
Torturous Civility 2007-11-14 19:33:32 I was helping a young man this morning at work and while I was waiting for him to fill out a form, I noticed someone walking toward him. As I turned to look I instantly flashed my friendly smile. Then my brain flipped through my mental Rolodex and I realized I know this person and I don’t like her. I would rather pull all my teeth out of my face with a pair of rusty pliers and gargle lemon juice than smile at her. I would rather scoop my eyeballs out with used sporks and rinse out my eye holes with rubbing alcohol than look at her with any measure of friendliness. But it was too late. It was done. I’d smiled and said, “Hi” before I realized who she was and then I acted all casual like maybe I didn’t recognize her after all. And when she kind of chuckled at something I said to her friend, I didn’t jam my pen into her forehead.
This time.
The good, the bad, and the ugly. 2007-11-24 10:36:13 The good:
We had a very nice holiday.
The bad:
Hangover.
The ugly:
I have to work in a couple hours and the hangover is building in intensity.
From the Archives: Over The Hill? 2007-11-23 09:54:51 I turned 30 in 2004. My kids made birthday cards for me. If you haven’t seen this before, you are in for a treat.
_______________
Tuesday was my 30th birthday. It was a nice day and not at all devastating like I thought it would be. I could have lived without the pranks my coworkers pulled, but I’d have felt left out if they hadn’t sabotaged my desk like they’ve done for all the other 30, 40 and 50 year-olds.
My husband gave me Reservoir Dogs on DVD and a book about essential oils. I’ve started reading the book and so far, so good. I already know I like the movie - though I’m not jazzed about seeing the “ear scene” from different camera angles. Like, barf.
I got a phone call from a good friend and for a few minutes, thought I’d been gifted a singing telegram or something. I had NO idea who was singing “Happy Birthday” to me! Woo. She can sing.
My kids gave me the best presents of all. Each of them made a little card for Read more:Archives
Snowy Morning 2007-11-21 10:06:02 Today, we’ll play inside.
Click to enlarge.
Read more:Snowy
, Morning
From the Archives: Mahna Mahna 2007-11-20 17:05:10 A couple of years ago, my sister-in-law asked me to be a bridesmaid. I accepted the invitation and then promptly lost my mind. The following is what happens when I stop trying to be real and try to look nice. Originally posted in June 2005, this has been edited because I’m not afraid to say, “I could have said that better.” There’s a section that still isn’t quite working for me, but I’m not ready to part with it. Maybe when I post this again in 2009, I’ll get it just right.
_______________
I tried on a pretty, pale green dress for my sister-in-law’s wedding. When I saw the delicately colored dress next to my blinding white skin, I panicked. See, I’m white like milk. I burst into flames in direct sunlight. The only way I get “tan” is when my freckles pop up, spread out and bump into each other.
I think you get it.
I did not want to be the oldest, fattest and palest bridesmaid. Two out of three is bad enough. So, I did what any desperat Read more:Archives
From the Archives: Up All Night, Bitch All Day 2007-11-19 21:24:03 I like to read through my archives, even though there is more than enough slop in there to blush and groan over. Sometimes I think, “Wow. I wrote that?” Other times I think, “Uh, wow. Why did I write that?” For the most part, I like what I’ve done here. Here’s a totally non-important post from February 2006. This is shortly before I started working through some heavy stuff. I like how conversational this is and how I let my brain bounce from one thing to the next and just went with it.
Note: Some of this is dated. The Bloglines subscription I mention is no longer maintained. A more up-to-date blogroll can be found here. The image is used without permission.
On with the show.
_______________
Insomnia.
Sucks.
SO, I’m AWAKE. How are YOU? I could have taken more Tylenol PM tonight but if I’m going to be hooked on something that makes me feel like I have really big teeth but doesn’t make me feel sleepy, I want to be hooked on something c Read more:Archives
, Night
, Bitch
NaBloPoMo: Day 29 2007-11-29 22:42:58 Because you’ve always wanted to know: How to draw a stick figure.
This and That 2007-11-28 14:58:23 First, I have a cold. It is starting to suck on a hardcore level. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this turns out to be the real deal flu.
Second, I highly recommend listening to the audio version of Stephen King’s On Writing: A Memoir of The Craft. Even if you don’t want to know how to write more better. It is entertaining all on its own.
Third, I always flush public toilets with my foot. I know there is a risk of losing my balance and stepping into the bowl, but I don’t want to touch the flusher with my hand. Today at work I flushed the toilet with my left foot and noticed I was wearing a brown shoe. With my black pants. I put my feet together and looked down to verify the blackness of my pants and the brownness of my shoes.
Oh, shit.
I was wearing one brown and one black shoe.
Again.
Word Burglars 2007-11-27 10:29:50 In “How to Stop Content Theft: The Best Tips“, Lorelle discusses what bloggers can do to undermine the efforts of the word burglars of the internet. (You can read more about splogs and scrapers here and here.)
In the comments, Mike Baptiste said,
Most is just excerpt, link, and trackback. I kill the trackback and move on because it’ snot clear what they are doing in that instance is illegal.
I can’t leave it at that. I’ve found that my content is being scraped and it is beyond maddening. While scrapers do provide everything Mike said, they do not attribute the work to me. They say, “‘George Somebody’ or ’super teen lesbian hottie’ wrote an great post today. Here’s an excerpt…” It links to my blog, but not to me, my name, who you know me to be.
Why should I hassle with this? If they have ads on their website (which they do because what is the purpose otherwise?), they are making money on content that is not their Read more:Burglars
Broccoli Slaw 2007-11-26 22:17:06 In the limited amount of time I have online this evening, I’d like to look at sugar cookie recipes and also search for ways to prepare and enjoy broccoli slaw.
BROCCOLI SLAW?
What is this magic shredded vegetable goodness hunched shyly to the side of the bagged lettuce case?
I will tell you:
BROCCOLI SLAW.
This is quality blog writing. I anticipate dozens of comments.
Read more:Broccoli
Meme: Unconscious Mutterings 2007-11-25 10:56:57 Unconscious Mutterings
Filthy :: Dirty
Therapist :: helper
Duck :: Quack
Slant :: at a slant
Artist :: Prince
Lease :: on life
Wish :: upon a star
Doormat :: my back
Global :: warming
Apartment :: complex
Nothing revealing here. Let’s arrange the words differently and see what happens.
Dirty helper Quack
at a slant Prince
on life, upon a star
my back
warming
complex
I crack myself up sometimes.
Read more:Unconscious
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Degree of Anonymity 2007-12-05 22:26:50 During the month of November, when I was posting something to my blog every day, I typed and typed and then deleted and deleted. I saved tidbits here and there in case I wanted to do a sort of “outtakes” post at the end of the month. I ended up scrapping that idea. The following scrap was still lying around in my drafts, though, and I thought it would be a good idea to share something today. Comments are off.
___________________
Posting every day was great at first and as long as I feel a tiny bit inspired to write something, I’m alright. But when I think about discussing the ins and outs of my day, I feel like I lose a degree of anonymity. The more I tell you about my schedule, the more identifiable I am.
Read more:Anonymity
A Conversation With Our Eager Leader 2007-12-04 09:48:03 My four-year old son loves preschool. Any reservations I had about sending him were ridiculous in retrospect. He digs this scene. He was made for this, baby. Every day at preschool a different child gets to be VIP. I’m not entirely sure what this entails, but my son is obsessed with being the leader. OBSESSED. He gets to be the leader on Wednesday and he can’t stop talking about it. So I asked him to tell me all about it. Here we go:
What does the leader get to do?
-Be sunny and cold.
What else does the leader do?
-SAY SUNNY AND COLD.
What else does he do?
-I really don’t know.
Do you want to be the leader?
-Yeah.
Why do you want to be the leader?
-Cuz, I need to.
Why do you need to?
-Cuz I neeeeed to.
What will you do when you’re the leader?
-Uhhhhh, I can go outside and ring the bell outside and I gonna ring the bell inside.
What else?
-Gonna do the snowy one
The snowy what?
-At the preschool, the snowy one. I will tell you about it. *silence*
What will you te Read more:Conversation
, Leader
Ice 2007-12-02 11:11:34 This is what it looks like when it rains in December. I’d love to get a close-up of the ice coated tree branches, but I’d need ice skates to step onto my porch.
Meme: Friday Fiver 2007-12-01 10:56:34 I liked both sets of questions I looked at for Friday
’s meme post. So here’s the Friday Fiver on Saturday. I’m a rebel!
1. What do you resent?
I have no idea how to answer this question. I think I resent things in the moment or while I’m still upset about them and then I move along.
2. What is your most recent occupation?
I am a book pusher. Read something, dammit.
3. What are you presently wearing?
A light blue pajama shirt that has fish embroidered on one side near the hem and sawed-off sweatpants. And socks. And underwear. And a ponytail. Neigh.
4. What presents have you bought?
Er…like, ever? I’ll address this holiday season. I’ve bought a few things for my daughter. My little guy’s Christmas shopping is nearly complete. I have to finish up the big kids and think of something for my brother and sister. We’re not buying for a whole lot of people this year. Bah-humbug.
5. Whose presence would you enjoy tonight?
I would enjoy the
NaBloPoMo: The End 2007-11-30 10:40:38 This is the last post of NaBloPoMo 2007. Though I almost forgot yesterday and was really stuck a couple of times, I made it. I found that when I was stuck for something to write about, if I started typing and let anything spill out, I eventually hit on something. Aside from reaching my goal to post daily, I wrote some things that are new favorites. That makes this NaBloPoMo a success.
The things I liked:
The Great Pumpkin Rescue
I H A T E C A R S
It’s Just A Jump To The Left
Reflections on my paper journal. (Which was reposted at RealMental.)
Here’s how you make some pizza, lazypants.
Similar Features, Shorter Hair (Also reposted at RealMental.)
Mahna Mahna (Polished up for this repost of a favorite from my archives.)
Broccoli Slaw
Word Burglars
I say that I write for me because if I like what I write, someone else probably will, too. I believe that no one should love my archives more than me, but I do write with you in mind. I hope that you’ll find something here
Meme: Friday’s Feast 2007-11-30 09:59:03 Friday’s Feast
Appetizer
What is your favorite carnival/amusement park ride?
We haven’t been to an amusement park in ages. But I like roller coasters that don’t go upside down.
Soup
How do you react in uncomfortable social situations?
It depends on my role in the group. Usually I will make lame jokes or shove my foot into my face. If there’s an opportunity for me to take charge and try to solve the awkwardness, I’ll take it. This is how I often end up with too much to do.
Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy discussing deep, philosophical topics?
I’d really love to talk about Project Runway or Top Chef or whatever reality television program I’m currently following. I’d also like to point and make fun of people with you. I used to like to discuss “deep thoughts”, but I’ve found that 1) I get interrupted too often to hold my train of thought, 2) I have anxiety afterward if the conversation Read more:Friday
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