Owner: Where the Boggs are Always Cold URL:http://www.tastybooze.com Join Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2007 18:11:39 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: The funniest stories, videos and pictures the internet has to offer along with our own unique commentary. Site statistics:Click here
There is badass and then there is BADASS. 2007-05-10 23:00:23 This guy has definitely hit the BADASS level.
For about eight minutes on Tuesday, through the streets near downtown, police chased a driver who had no arms and one good leg.
He got away.
He is used to this sort of thing.
Michael Francis Wiley is called “Pasco County’s most accomplished traffic violator” with so many violations it is now a felony for him to get behind the wheel of a car.
Mr. Wiley doesn’t just limit himself to traffic violations.
According to court records, Wiley has stolen a car, kicked a state trooper and attacked his wife headfirst. He is awaiting trial on separate drug and illegal-driving charges.
He only has one leg! How did he kick a state trooper? It must have looked like the fight scene with the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holly Grail.
Armless driver eludes police chase
Revenge Nut Shot 2007-05-16 21:35:24 Free Funny Videos
Click to play the video Read more:Revenge
Why Was I Not Informed About Bruce Lee? 2007-05-16 20:09:18 Nobody told this poor 12 year old bastard about the existence of a man named Bruce
Lee and now he is pissed.
You say you love me, and yet there is a man who can jump like four feet into the air and kick a guy five times before landing—and you kept it from me. That can hardly be called love.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear to avoid any misunderstandings like this in the future: If you know of any men who can casually stand on live cobras while sending a telegram, or scissor kick a dude who’s still hanging onto his foot, alert me immediately.
Do yourself a favor and check out his full rant. Why Was I Not Informed About Bruce Lee?
Reader Comment Contest Winner 2007-05-16 17:34:15 We had a lot of good entries for the comment contest yesterday and you can check out all of the entries here. Two really stood out as my favorites. Congrats to MD20 / 20 and Jason from Gorilla Sushi.
Here are their submissions:
MD20/20 - Trust me Nicole, hydroplanes use the same basic principles
Jason - Tony misinterprets the term "ass-hat". Read more:Reader
, Comment
, Contest
, Contest Winner
Amazing, But True 2007-05-16 01:19:40 Here are a few of the facts from the Funny2.com Facts page:
-Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
-Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under is cap to keep him cool. He changed it every 2 innings.
-The elephant is the only mammal that can’t jump.
-The penguin is the only bird who can swim, but not fly.
-A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.
-There is a Starbucks in Myungdong, South Korea that is five stories tall.
and my favorite…
-The thong accounts for 25% of the United States women’s underwear market. Read more:Amazing
Greatest Venn Diagram Ever 2007-05-16 00:44:57 Nothing beats the simplicity of being a man.
Just in case you forgot what a Venn diagarm is click here. Read more:Greatest
, Diagram
Diary of a Beer Drinker 2007-05-15 21:54:14 Its funny what you can find on the Internet when you just don’t feel like being productive. For instance, I Googled “Beer Drinking” today and came up with John Paul Adams’ personal beer records. This guy is great. I wouldn’t call him the best beer drinker I’ve seen, but judging by his picture, you wouldn’t expect it.
Anyway, he’s been keeping tally of his consumed beers since 1988. Not only does he have a list of different types he’s drank, but he’s got monthly tallies of total consumption. It appears that JPA’s alcoholism has really picked up since ‘88. Back in the day he was only taking down about 40 a month. But in December of ‘02 he set a personal best of 162.5 beers. That’s an average of 5 a night, or if you’re the type that only drinks when going out, a nightly average of nearly 14 beers if you drank every Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I tip my hat to you John Paul.
In a true Tastybo Read more:Diary
, Drinker
When In Doubt Choose C. Except for this one time. 2007-05-15 20:50:59 Dear Michael,
Every year I attempt to boost my students’ final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True/False questions from only 3 chapters of material. For the past 20 years that I have taught Intro Communications 101 at this institution I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score of a zero is the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole 8 points.
There were two possible answer choices: A (True) and B (False). You chose C for all 100 questions in an obvious attempt to get lucky with a least a quarter of the answers. It’s as if you didn’t look at a single question. Unfortunately, this brings your final grade in this class to failing. See you next year!
May God have mercy on your soul.
Sincerely,
Professor William Turner
P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on.
B is the new C
Reader Comment Contest - Nicole Scherzinger Bikini Picture 2007-05-15 17:43:59 We generally stay away from the whole “hot chicks in bikini” posts here on Tasty Booze. It just isn’t our gig. We hope that you waste your work day with us and that is hard to do when they are tonyas hanging out all over the place. That said this picture was just a little to good to pass up. This is Nicole Scherzinger
, one of the Pussycat Dolls, at the beach with her boyfriend.
Enough shenanigans. I posted this picture for one reason. A little reader participation. Leave a comment with your best quote for this picture and we will re-post the picture with the best submissions tomorrow.
Here is mine:
“What are you doing!? I said I lost a contact! Move your ass!” Read more:Reader
, Comment
, Contest
, Bikini
, Picture
Will Ferrell + George Bush = Awesome 2007-05-15 01:08:50 The fact that George
is an idiot that is continually embarrassing this country is not really news in itself these days. But at least it gives us something to make fun of. So in honor of my trip to Vegas this weekend where the average temperature will be 99 degrees, here’s a classic Will Ferrell
impersonation.
Read more:Will Ferrell
, George Bush
Travel Notice to All Dipshits 2007-05-18 22:01:33 Please do not wear sleeveless shirts on a goddamn airplane. I can’t think of a single reason as to why I should have to spend 3 1/2 hours of my life next to your exposed armpit hair when we are already crammed together like sardines. I know sleeves are ridiculously restrictive but you are going to spend the next 3 hours in one fucking chair. I think you can probably manage. There are only a few occasions in life where a sleeveless shirt is even remotely acceptable.
1. You are Johnny Drama
2. You are doing yard work (This one is borderline)
3. You are inside of a gym
4. You are traveling to or from a gym
I highly doubt that the douche that spent 3 1/2 hours next to me today was on his way to the gym. If he was then he should have enough money to charter a private jet so that I don’t have to deal with his ass. This is common sense people. Have some courtesy for your fellow traveler. If I found a crazy new way to sit in airplane seats that put my bare feet about 3 inches away Read more:Travel
Head Drop 2007-05-18 21:44:39 This might be a little bit NSFW (wear headphones). I don’t see how Raggedy Andy has the right to tell the other guy that he ‘fights like a pussy.’ Nevertheless, he says it twice; before and after the head drop.
100 Person Beer Bong 2007-05-18 21:43:37 The caption where I found this said it took these guys a few seconds to finish off a keg with their 100 Person Beer Bong. Wow! I think it would be very beneficial to learn how to make one of these.
Guy Waterfalls Five Beers at Once 2007-05-18 18:55:27
It takes him a few tries to finish all five but this is a level or beer drinking and showmanship that you don’t often see. You might call it Trick Drinking. Read more:Waterfalls
, Beers
Don’t Mess With A Ninja Cow 2007-05-17 23:37:08 The video is a little blurry, but you can see everything that matters. I wonder if Bruce Lee taught this cow his moves?
Read more:Ninja
Man Shoots Himself Without A Gun 2007-05-17 23:32:12 LAKE LUZERNE, New York (AP) — A young man shot himself without using a gun.
Damion M. Mosher, who put bullets in a vise and whacked them with a hammer to empty the brass shell casings, was hit in the abdomen by one of the shots, authorities said.
Warren County deputies said they were called to Mosher’s home in Lake Luzerne on Saturday afternoon after one bullet went about a half-inch into his abdomen. He was treated at Glens Falls Hospital and was released. No charges were filed.
Mosher, 18, told authorities he was trying to empty the .223-caliber rounds to collect the brass casings for scrap.
An employee of an Albany scrap metal company told The Post-Star of Glens Falls that the business pays $1.70 a pound for scrap brass shell casings.
Cleveland said Mosher’s shells amounted to just a few pounds.
Man, this guy needs to figure out a new business plan. $5 isn’t worth a gut shot.
Man Shoots Himself Without A Gun
Mercury Mistress 2007-05-17 23:15:30 This is an old one, but recently saw the re-run on my favorite soft-porn channel E!. Chris Parnell is just not given enough credit on SNL…
Read more:Mercury
, Mistress
101 Best George Carlin Quotes 2007-05-17 21:54:55 I have always loved the comedy of GeorgeCarlin
. Check out this site with some of his best quotes.
14. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
32. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
37. Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.
84. You can’t argue with a good blowjob.
87. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f*ck. Read more:Quotes
Dick in Outlet 2007-05-17 19:47:49 Absolute genius. I need to figure out who writes the Darwin Awards and show them their new winner. With the aid of a bit of tinfoil, this man most likely lost his cock.
Read more:Outlet
Cop Warning Sign 2007-05-17 00:21:37
Whoever owns this store is what I would call a good goddamn Samaritan. He could be selling post-wipe toilet paper and I would still buy a couple of squares every day just to say thanks for helping out the community.
Tron Guy 2007-05-21 20:46:37
I saw this cat in person this weekend while I was traveling for work. I walked by about ten feet away from him and I was in a daze for about a half hour after I passed. He only needs one thing and that can be described with three simple words: strategically placed padding.
Best Desk Accessory Ever 2007-05-21 20:12:49
A USB-powered fridge - genius. I don’t know what this guy is doing with a Coke in there, but a beer could definitely liven things up around the office. Read more:Accessory
24 Season Finale 2007-05-21 16:41:46 After the somewhat slow start to the Bauer Count, Jack has come back with a vengeance. With only one kill in the first four hours, the one being a vicious vampire bite, it took Jack a little bit of time to get back into form, but he’s bounced back well. Over the last 22 hours of 24 time Bauer has managed to kill 36 people (holy shit!), most notably his former partner Curtis Manning and one of the main antagonists of Season
6, Abu Fayed.
I’m looking forward to tonight’s 2-hour season finale! From past 24 experience I know that the last couple of hours are always the best. I’m going to set the over/under for tonight at 10 kills for Bauer. Enjoy! Read more:Finale
, Season Finale
Grape Stomp 2007-05-21 16:27:40 Cheaters beware…Karma’s a bitch!
Read more:Grape
The Pessimist’s Mug 2007-05-21 07:29:43
This bad boy really speaks for its self. It lets every in the office now exactly where you stand on that old half empty/half full debate.
Product Page
Why beer makes us smarter 2007-05-20 18:03:28 Here’s something that you may have seen before. But as I lay here on the couch after an all day Bogg’s bender, my mushy brain is wondering if this theory actually holds any truth.
Read more:makes
I Swear This Guy Works In My Office 2007-05-24 19:40:29 I don’t really know what our friend Mitch Martin does for a living except that he has a pancake phone and does high tech stuff. I think this is probably about right…
Read more:Swear
, Works
Robots Are Coming… 2007-05-24 18:10:01 If you have ever seen The Terminator you know that at some point a robot uprising will be upon us. Forntunately, tastybooze is here for your edification on survival (for much more, check out this website) .
- Survival Method 1: Pose as a Broken Humanoid Robot
This is in hopes that the robots just pass you by during their destruction, thinking you are one of them. Some of the key’s to this method include: making noise such as an occasional “beep” or “boop” sound and moving like a robot, i.e. very abrubtly while constantly maintaining perfect 90 degree angles. The latter of course only works because you are broken. Contemporary robots are more dexterous. Pretend you are either damaged machinery or a well-oiled break-dancing machine, and pop and lock your way into the heart of robot territory.
- Survival Method 2: Hand-to-Hand Combat
If you find yourself in a brawl with a robot, your only hope is to escape. A robot
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