Owner: Where the Boggs are Always Cold URL:http://www.tastybooze.com Join Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2007 18:11:39 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: The funniest stories, videos and pictures the internet has to offer along with our own unique commentary. Site statistics:Click here
How to be the Life of the Party at Every Party 2007-04-26 22:57:46 Step #1: Buy a Booze Belt
Step #2: Hit the bottle shop (1 tequilla and 1 of your choosing)
Step #3: Start pouring shots like a madman
Congratulations you are now the life of the party. It may take a few parties to perfect your game but stick with it. If at least 1 person pukes due to your antics then you are on the right track. However if 7 or more people puke you might need to bring it down a notch.
Product Page: Booze Belt Read more:Party
Call the Office Bullshit Artist Out with a Touch of a Button 2007-04-26 19:36:41 There is always at least one person in the office who is always mouthing off thinking they know everything or maybe there is a person who is always late or off and makes up the most stupid excuse to get away with it. Help is at hand with this excellent Bullshit
Button, simply hit the button to blast out a loud bullshit alert making loudmouth and sick-note shut up and realise what idiots they are!
5 different Bullshit Alerts.
“(Beep) That was bullshit”
“(Siren) Bullshit detected, take precautions”
“Bullshit level defcon 5″
“Oh come on now, that ain’t even bullshit, that’s horseshit”
“Warning, warning, bullshit alert”
Bullshit Button Read more:Artist
70 Reasons to Love Jack Nicholson 2007-04-26 17:49:14 When it comes to actors Jack Nicholson is a god among men. If you check out his filmography on his IMDB page you will find 72 entries starting back in the 50’s.
Frank Costello: The only one who can do what I do is me. A lotta people had to die for me to be me… You wanna be me?
If you don’t already love him then I think you are an idiot. Click the link and read through the 70 reasons you should love him. Maybe you will change your mind and then I can revoke your idiot status.
12: ONE of his axioms is “You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police”.
21: “BEER, it’s the best damn drink in the world.”
34: “PEOPLE who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.”
44: WHEN getting ready to play his nude scenes in 1971’s Carnal Knowledge, he prepared those on set by warning: “Here comes Big Steve!”
70 Reasons
to Love Jack Nicholson
The Origin of Boggs 2007-04-25 23:35:25 We’ve had a few questions come up about Boggs, and why we refer to tasty Miller Lites as Boggs. Well my friends, open your ears and I’ll pour in a tale.
I heard the legendary story over my car radio as I was heading down I-5 to work about a year ago, listening to Mitch in the Morning on 950 KJR, as usual. For some reason or another, Mitch was gone that day so Steve Sandmeyer was hosting the show, and former Mariners and Yankees pitcher Jeff Nelson was sitting in as his sidekick.
Sandmeyer was killing some time by making small talk about baseball and about Nelly’s career and exploits as a major leaguer. The conversation turned to some of the funniest things Nelly had seen in his career when Sandy asked something like “who was the best with the ladies out of everyone you were around in baseball?” Nelson said that it was tough to say for sure, but that he figured it was probably Andre Dawson, the former Expos, Cubs, Red Sox, and Marlins slugger.
The two Read more:Origin
Do you take this drunk guy’s brother … 2007-04-30 17:39:20 I am not familiar with customs in India so maybe this sort of thing is normal and happens all the time. A groom showed up to his own wedding a little bit too drunk
so the bride’s family and other villagers chased his ass away. The bride’s family then invited the man’s younger brother to step in and marry their daughter. Talk about a shitty next morning. Waking up hungover and then realizing your brother is now banging the girl that was supposed to be your wife.
It reminds me of an old Seinfeld joke:
The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman’s point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well dress them that way. That’s why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.
Do you take this drunk guy’s brother …
Tasty Booze - The Week in Review 2007-04-30 03:48:55 It was a pretty good week here at TastyBooze
. Check out some of our best posts from last week.
The Origin of Boggs - A great story about a living legend and how we came to call a Miller Lite a Boggs.
70 Reasons to Love Jack Nicholson - Some of the best quotes I have read in a long time from one of the greatest actors ever.
I Don’t Want to Relocate Him, I Want to Kill the Motherfu#*er! - The transcripts of the these prank phone calls is hilarious.
Call the Office Bullshit Artist Out with a Touch of a Button - Kind of like the easy button but way better.
Dear Penis - If you don’t think an animated penis playing a guitar is funny then there is something seriously wrong with you.
I Found My Nirvana! 2007-04-29 23:30:26
This is one of my all time favorite Will Ferrell sketches from his SNL days. I have been looking for a yoga studio myself for the last couple of weeks. I am going to have to remember to ask if they teach the “forward plow” next time I am checking one out. Read more:Nirvana
Jack Bauer + Boggs + Karoake = One Hell of a Night 2007-04-29 18:14:07
There is no better feeling then enjoying a tasty boggs and having a nice breeze on your balls. I wouldn’t normally recommend just dropping your trousers in the middle of a karaoke bar but when you are Jack Bauer
you do whatever the fuck you want.
I think JB may have had a few too many boggs in this picture but he has had a long day of recovering nukes and dealing with the Cheng Zhi.
You notice that no one is asking him to put his pants back on. Thats because even when he is piss drunk no one wants to fuck with Bauer. Read more:Night
, Jack Bauer
The Fastest Condom in the World 2007-04-28 23:44:33
Despite our hate of condoms we all have to use them. There is nothing worse then trying to put a condom on in the dark. Fumbling with the wrapper, trying to figure out if its inside out, doesn’t matter which way you cut it it’s always a bitch. Well the boys at Pronto Condom
s have taken all the hassle out of it. Check out the video for a demo.
Product Page: Pronto Condoms Read more:World
One Big Ass Jet vs. One Little Ass Car 2007-04-28 21:24:49
I don’t like to post videos without at least writing something funny to go along with it. But it is Saturday, I am feeling lazy and really the title says it all.
[EDIT]: I will be honest I posted this before I had actually watched the whole thing. That hippy car got fucked up! Read more:One Little
Bomb Bag in Pants 2007-05-03 02:48:42
After watching this, I had to Google “Bomb Bag” to figure out what the hell that guy put down his pants. I found out they are novelty items that anyone can buy. I was curious, so I clicked on the first result and found out that Bomb Bags are great for kids of any age. Great for kids? Tell that to the kid who just lost Big Jim and the Little Twins to one of these so called novelty items! Read more:Pants
New Bluetooth Headset Never Needs Charging 2007-05-02 22:13:55
As I mentioned in a Monday Rant a couple of weeks ago the state of Washington is about to pass a bill that will ban drivers from talking on their cell phones. For all of your conspiracy theorists that think this is a scam to make people buy more expensive Bluetooth
headsets here is the solution for you that only runs about $3.00.
Product Page Read more:Headset
, Needs
, Charging
, New Bluetooth
The Next Hotness in Jeans? 2007-05-02 19:31:57 I can barely dress myself in a way that is considered fashionable so I know about as much as a rock when it comes to women’s fashion. These jeans are supposedly the latest fashion in Brazil and I know that Brazil has pumped out some of the hottest women the world has ever seen but I think these are a bad idea.
What happened a couple of years ago when it was the hot thing for girls to show their thongs above their jeans? I will tell you what. Girls that had no business showing their thongs anywhere or to anyone started showing them off at places like the grocery store. Please don’t make me relive that. Read more:Hotness
, Jeans
Kobe Beef Cow Man 2007-05-02 17:48:43
If someone said to you “Yeah you can hang out in my field and drink free beer all day long just don’t mess with my daughter.” What would you do?
I will tell you what you would do! You wouldn’t touch the goddamn daughter! This dumb bastard couldn’t follow directions.
Totally Lowbrow Humor: Different Types of Farts 2007-05-02 06:00:09 I found this article the other day while checking out college humor. Check out some of my favorite Different Types
of Farts:
The Fat Girl Fart: Usually accidental and embarrassing, the FGF is nonetheless incredibly foul and hilarious. One of the few phenomena in the world that can actually make a fat girl less attractive.
Sounds Like: Thrrrrribap! Bap!
Typically Heard During: Roughhousing/Physical Exertion. Tickle fights, Indian leg wrestling, energetic sex… Why are you looking at me like that? Dude, I just heard that somewhere, seriously. Oh fu*k you, man…
The Revenge Fart: Generally known only in male circles, the RF is a fantastic way to fulfill your oath of vengeance for various sleights against you. Be warned, however: what goes around comes around, and the RF may be cruelly discussed in front of prospective mates.
Sounds Like: Pssssst.
Typically Heard During: Long car rides in cold weather. Once released, the RF becomes a viscous-yet-oddly free-floating ethereal substance t Read more:Humor
Google Search: Grinding Boner 2007-05-01 23:25:52 I came across something this weekend that I thought was pretty funny. Like most websites we use a couple of different tools to track the traffic that comes into Tasty Booze. One of those tools shows us where people have come from. For example Bored Dude has a link to Tasty Booze on their referral page. If someone clicks that link then our tool shows us they came from Bored Dude. If someone lands at Tasty Booze after doing a Google
search the tool will tell us what phrase they used in their Google search. Sure it is a little big brother but it is pretty sweet.
So Sunday morning I was out of bed early making some coffee for my lady friend and myself. I am slightly obsessed with checking our site traffic so I sat down to review the numbers while my pot of gloriousness brewed. Needless to say I was pretty surprised to find out that someone had found their way to Tasty Booze after doing a Google search for “grinding boner”. After thinking about it I realized that it actually made sense. Read more:Search
, Grinding
, Google Search
Real World of Warcraft 2007-05-01 21:23:19 I’ve never played the game, but I guess it’s a big deal (to some). The closest I’ve gotten to World
of Warcraft
is the South Park episode where they all get really fat and Cartman shits in a bowl that his mom is holding. But that’s neither here nor there.
I found this story is about a guy who repeatedly stalked and killed a woman’s character in the game, and was subsequently dealt with by her husband and his friends to the tune of a fractured wrist, 2 broken fingers, and a smashed computer and entertainment centers.
Note: Don’t give your address out to the lady on the internet and ask “if her husband was man enough to just come meet me to settle this.”
Turd Twister - It’s Arts & Crafts for Your Ass Son. 2007-05-01 19:27:12
Tired of taking a nice shit and having it look like the same old plain brown log? Well these guys over at Turd Twister
s are here to save the day and add a little excitement to that special time of your day.
We all had those Play-Doh toys that would let you squeeze Play-Doh out in shapes like stars and what not. Well this is pretty much the same thing but for your ass.
The Turd Twister Read more:Crafts
Amazing Beer Pong Skills 2007-05-01 17:09:38
If there was a professional beer pong league these SOB’s would be the Lebron James of said league. Wait a minute!? Why isn’t there a professionl beer pong league? Read more:Amazing
, Skills
Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight 2007-04-30 22:20:00 This is easily one of the most fu#*ed up things I’ve seen on the internet.
Apparently somewhat boysterous in his latest advertising campaign for the Cambodian Midget Fighting League (CMFL), Yang Sihamoni, President of the CMFL, stated his midgets will “… take on anything; man, beast, or machine.”
In May of 2005, an angry fan challenged Sihamoni that a single african lion could defeat his entire league of 42 fighters.
He might have gone a bit overboard with the pridefulness, but soon after the challenge 42 midgets squared off with an african lion in front of a sell-out crowd in Kâmpóng Chhnãng.
The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back.
Sihamoni was quoted before the fight stating that he felt since his fighters out-numbered the lion 42 to 1, that they “… could out-wit and out-muscle [it].”
Basketball, again… 2007-05-05 01:12:10
Short and to the point - a good one to start off the weekend with. Read more:Basketball
Internet Sucks? 2007-05-05 00:22:48
They’ve got a compelling argument but think I am going to have to go with the Internet
on this one.
New Feature: Weekly Poll 2007-05-04 20:25:51 I decided it would be pretty cool to have a poll running each week over in the sidebar. We will throw out a subject and you can tell us how you feel. For the first weekly poll I thought I would open it up to the masses. Leave a comment with what you think the first weekly poll should be about and I will pick the best submission on Sunday and post it to start the new week.
Some Ideas:
Favorite Beer
Boggs
Bud Light
How Did Your Saturday Night End
Passed Out
At the Toilet
With a Strange Chick
Booty Call
You get the basic idea. Read more:Weekly
Fire Bell Alarm Clock 2007-05-04 19:16:46 The Fire Bell Alarm Clock
will jolt you awake every morning with a loud, piercing fire alarm that is impossible to ignore.
I am not sure how this thing compares to the Sonic Bomb alarm clock but it sounds like it is pretty goddamn loud.
The only thing worse then you having to wake up to this at 6:00 a.m. is realizing that half your apartment complex is standing outside because they thought the fire alarm was going off.
Product Page Read more:Alarm Clock
Think she's mad? 2007-05-04 01:10:52 Here are some great pics sent to me be a friend who, ironically enough, spends a lot of time figuring out ways to cheat on his girlfriend. No, his name is not Scott Kelly, but these are some damn funny pics.
What You Know About Math? 2007-05-03 23:32:26
Couple of white boys with their TI-84 graphing calculator’s dropping rhymes like they’re TI. I listened to this song twice last night and it has been stuck in my head all day. The part about “sig figs” and “your answer’s to big” is pure genius. These cats are going to be the flagship artist on Tasty Booze Records.
The Best Programming Error Ever… 2007-05-03 20:49:31 My favorite part of the story is that a show that isn’t supposed to be porn is called Handy Manny
Kids tuned to ‘Handy Manny’ get porn
MIDDLETOWN, N.J. — Children here got more than they bargained for when they tuned in to “Handy Manny” on the Disney Channel this week - hard-core pornography.
Cable giant Comcast is investigating how the porn was broadcast during the popular cartoon, which is about a bilingual handyman, Manny Garcia, and his talking tools.
Customer Paul Dunleavy was stunned Tuesday morning to find his 5-year-old son watching the broadcast.
“It was two people doing their thing; it was full-on and it was disgusting,” the father of three told The New York Daily News.
Comcast spokesman Fred DeAndrea confirmed that the programming error occurred around 9:30 a.m. Tuesday. He declined to provide the duration of the porn broadcast but described it as an “isolated issue in a local New Jersey facility.” Read more:Programming
The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas 2007-05-03 20:37:04 Vaginas are a fingerprint. Captured in this book along with fun puzzles and games is the uniqueness of the vagina beautifully illustrated. From the compact smooth vagina to a coiffed vagina with full lips. Some are pierced, some are tattooed, some are soft spoken and some are in your face! Illustrate these beautiful vaginas with your imagination and show your love for what makes your world go round!
I had a joke about “in your face” vaginas and then I kind of lost it. The whole thing pretty much speaks for itself.
Product Page Read more:Coloring
, Vaginas
, Coloring Book
Recommend Site To A Friend
