Owner: Undefined URL:http://theunknownforce.blogspot.com Join Date: Tue, 10 Apr 2007 22:36:22 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Undefined started out as a branch-off from my fanfiction, as a place to promote my stories. As time went by, it became so much more. It became a place for me to freely express my thoughts and emotions as well as a portal for me to share my ideas with the Site statistics:Click here
A Good Christian Girl 2007-04-08 03:28:00 Despite the picture, this is not a post mocking religion or anything like that. During one of the heiniously long Theatre Company rehearsals the other day, I was talking to one of my friends (he's a guy) about various things and both of us were the type of people that don't find it very awkward to discuss sex and stuff like that. So we were talking about reading smut and watching porn and he said with a half-surprised tone, "I thought you were a good church-going Christian
girl." Even though he didn't say it seriously, that line stuck in my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it and I suddenly felt like a very, very bad person. I felt like I was slandering the religion by being such a bad representation of Christianity. It striked me all of a sudden that my confused emotions towards religion was not because of certain beliefs of the church that I go to, the problems come from me. All along, I was just looking for the excuse to allow myself to break all the commandments in t
Unbelievably Lost and Confused 2007-03-16 02:02:00 I have no idea what I'm doing with my life right now, I feel so confused and lost. It seems like lately, I've been changing my life in a decisive and dramatic fashion. I've had my eyes set on such impossible and bizzare goals. At the same time, I question whether or not I'm making the right decision. Am I screwing things up rather than changing my life for better? I quit the Ultimate Frisbee team because it took me two years to realize that I never liked the sport in the first place. What I liked about it was the feeling of togetherness when I played side by side with my team members and the feeling that I belonged. I only joined in the first place because my friends joined and I didn't want to feel left out. I remembered in grade eight when they all joined the Library Club and it seemed too boring for me so I didn't join. I ended up sitting alone by my locker whenever they had meetings; I didn't want a repeat of the same events with Ultimate. So for two years, I spent every
A Whole Bunch Of Things That Make No Sense 2006-10-09 02:55:00 When everything seems to swirl and you're absolutely sure you haven't taken drugs or consumed any alcohol, you know that something's wrong. Just what is the foothold that you stand on when you climb the big mountain of life? No matter which way you step, no niche in the rocks will ever feel comfortable for your feet. No matter how strong the rocks look, its always crumbled by what people seem to see as the weakest elements; water, wind, sand. I suppose over the years I've learned that pleasing people isn't going to make me happy. As humans, its impossible to become satisfied and you'll always demand more. I guess I always hold back just a little so there's always space to back out of relationships, don't get too attatched. But sometimes, it seems like there are some threads that are impossible to sever. What I've wanted all along still hasn't changed no matter what I tell myself.I love to hate desire.No, that doesn't make sense, does it?No, I don't give a damn.Yes, that's Read more:Whole
, Bunch
, Sense
My Adventure in the Self Help Section 2006-08-10 02:40:00 So the other day I was in Chapters and I walked past the Self Help book section, I was pissed off and felt slightly depressed for no apparent reason other than I couldn't sleep very much for the entire week and was really tired, so I figured, maybe I should read some books "that will help me help myself."I found the book titles really weird, almost no creativity needed. It was good in a way that everything was simple, the book is what the title says it is. Its not like books in any other genre where they have weird titles that have you wondering what they're about. I mean there's all these "How to be Happy," "Ten Steps To a More Successful Life," as I read these titles, I wondered if the authors actually used their own advice. I mean, would they really go and talk to people they hated and resolve the conflict? Its like those advice columns in magazines, the only advice they usually give is for you to talk to the person, but the thing is if the person who needed advice could actuall Read more:Adventure
, Section
Out of Shape 2006-08-03 20:11:00 I seriously need to excercise more. I went biking for a half an hour this morning and my legs already feel rubbery, and part of the distance was downhill too. But I guess I also went uphill alot so that makes me feel a little better. I think I'll try biking everyday, everyone always says that exercising releases endorphins (sp?) and I do feel alot more relaxed after biking. The unfortunate part is I still have to spend at least two hours playing sports with kids during volunteering and unless I somehow magically erase the soreness of my limbs in a few hours, I'm going to be so dead.
Read more:Shape
Midsummer Resolution 2006-07-28 22:59:00 I have decided that since there is only one month left of summer, I will turn my life around. I've already started writing in a diary again, cut down my internet time, and I will start biking again. I'm going to reorganize my room and turn my life around. Yes, I have one month and by the time I go back to school, I will no longer be the sloth and slob.
Read more:Midsummer
, Resolution
Bumblebee 2006-07-24 20:16:00 I know that bees are good insects (or is it bugs? I can't remember how to tell the difference), they spread pollen to help plants reproduce and they produce honey (well some types do), but last night, I was forced to kill one. Yes, I know I'm a murderer, I'm cruel, I'm coldblooded, etc. But I have a good excuse. Last night, at about eleven o'clock at night, I just finished watching one of my DVDs and was about to go to sleep when I heard a buzzing noise coming from near the window. I turned and saw a huge bee on the wall next to the window. It was about 3.5 cm long and I could clearly see the parts of its body with the head, the stripes, etc. And it was just buzzing like crazy, flying around my room, and finally deciding to attatch itself to my curtains. (my curtains have a flower print on them) My parents already went to sleep, I considered waking them up for help, but I knew that they would keep saying how cowardly I am and how I should be more independant and saying how would I
Heat and Insomnia 2006-07-24 00:11:00 For the past few days, the temperature has been around thirty degrees celsius. For me, that is total hell. Cold is easy to face, just put on some extra clothes or get an extra blanket at night, but there is only so much you can do to face the heat. I mean, I'm melting even if I sleep naked and I can't even do that because I live with my parents and I don't think its a great idea if my dad suddenly decides to check on me while I'm sleeping just for the heck of it and I'm lying there with no clothes on. Too add to the misery, I sleep on a pillow top mattress, which feels great during the winter, but just not that great during the summer. Oh oops, I forgot to mention, I have no air conditioning in my apartment. I have two fans, but the wind is warm...so not much help. Actually one is right next to me right now and is currently scattering papers across my desk with the wind as I'm typing this. I haven't been able to sleep for more than four to five hours since the temperature starte Read more:Insomnia
Pirates of the Caribbean 2 2006-07-23 01:51:00 I finally watched the movie today, Pirates
of the Caribbean
: Dead Man's Chest. I waited for awhile and today, on impulse, I decided to go alone, something that I've never done before. Anyways, back to the movie...I must say that Johnny Depp was brilliant as Jack Sparrow, he had the charm and the humour to bring out the character. Almost all the humour came from his character and his acting is great. He managed to make Jack humorous, cowardly, but a captain at the same time. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom were kind of bland. I mean, their acting was alright but it was just overshadowed by Johnny Depp. The story itself wasn't as good as the first one but the special effects were much better.But I think I'll still watch the third one when it comes out. (yes, I admit, Orlando Bloom is one of the reasons)
Leather Wallets 2006-07-21 20:06:00 For some reason, I have a sudden desire to buy a tan-coloured leather wallet. I have a couple of wallets at home and all of them are in good condition and everything but I suddenly feel like I need a 'grown-up' wallet. Not one of those 'trendy' wallets, but the ones that, in my imagination, a successful, beautiful woman would take out of her bag to pay for a coffee at Starbucks in the morning before heading to work. It will be a high quality wallet, genuine leather. I know it sounds disgusting that I'm using animal skin as an accessory, but leather comes from bulls, which are killed for their meat anyways, so making use of the animal and using their skin wouldn't be cruel like using fur, because with fur, the animal is killed for the sole purpose of its skin.I've always wondered one thing about guys. Whereas girls have lots and lots of wallets, guys buy one wallet, always black leather, and that's the only one they'll ever get. My dad uses a black leather wallet and all the gu Read more:Leather
, Wallets
Fanfiction Confusion 2006-07-20 19:28:00 I don't normally discuss fanfiction outside the forums on the site, simply because I think I obsess about it enough normally that I don't need to obsess anymore on my blog, but today, its not about my obsession, its more about what I want to do with writing.When I first discovered fanfiction last year, it felt like there was this whole new world of people and stories out there. It was new, refreshing, different. In the beginning, I was just reading and I thought: I want to be like these fanfiction authors, I want to get reviews, I want to write a great story. So I finally got an idea and the guts to write my first chapter and I sent it in at the end of August. It was my first submission, I felt that if it got validated, I would be happy. It got validated, I felt that if I got hits, I would be happy. I got thirty hits on the first day, which I felt was alright, it was my first chapter with only about 800 words and no banner. Then I wanted reviews, I got two reviews in the first week.
Spelling Problems 2006-07-18 22:47:00 You know what's really sad? School's been out for about two weeks and I'm already losing my ability to spell. The other day, I couldn't remember how to spell 'blonde'. Is that sad or what? I kept on thinking, "is it 'blond' or 'blonde'?" I'm getting the French and English spellings all mixed up. This is what happens when you take a second language that has similar English words.Thank God for spell check.
Emotional Eating 2006-07-17 21:50:00 Last night, when I was watching The Sixth Sense on TV, I discovered that I have an emotional eating problem. The movie wasn't about food or eating disorders so I have to explain myself a little bit here. First of all, I was a little bit freaked out when I was watching it about half way through, since it was at night and I was the only one up. I know it isn't a scary movie, but I'm not that great with horror films and the part of the movie where you start seeing it through the little boy's eyes and these dead people were hanging over the doorframe, I just started getting freaked out. So I got some cashews and started eating and watching. For some reason, when I was eating, I didn't feel as freaked out. The music, the mood just didn't seem as creepy. But when I stopped, the movie started creeping me out again.So as you can see, I discovered that I eat when I'm scared and it makes me feel better.By the way, I kept on watching the movie even after I stopped eating the cashews and it Read more:Emotional
Careers... 2006-07-16 23:45:00 I finally found out what an epidemiologist is. Apparently, its someone that researches on health risks and how to prevent them and investigates the roots of epidemics. It sounds like an extremely stressful and scienceish job that I'm not that interested in. I don't really know why, its not that I suck really bad at science or I really hate the subject but to me, science always seems cold, icy, I like history better. I like learning about how people used to live and how society evolved from prehistoric times to our modern society. Its just the type of thing that interests me more. Yet, my top choice after answering over a hundred questions is a science based career....Anyways, I've listed below all the careers I have ever considered taking from the time in kindergarten up until present day:Author- I've always loved reading and I like to write. It seems nice to be able to get paid just to write stories and I want to see a book written by me sitting on my bookshelf. Ahhh that would be
What I Wanna Be When I Grow Up 2006-07-16 03:41:00 This seems like one of those topics that have been talked to death from the moment you enter kindergarten to when you graduate from university. Anyways, I went to this website that I got from CAPP and after doing this very lengthy quiz (more like a test), I got these results:1. Epidemiologist2. Historian3. Researcher4. Criminologist5. Market Research Analyst6. Economist7. Announcer8. Public Policy Analyst 9. Genetic Counsellor10. Writer11. Activist12. Lobbyist13. Translator14. Director of Photography15. Arts Administrator16. Website Designer17. Interpreter18. Art Director19. Anthropologist20. Political Aide21. Print Journalist22. Comedian23. Actor24. Technical Writer25. Public Relations Specialist26. Television and Radio Reporter27. Sign Language Interpreter28.Communications Specialist29.Mediator30.Critic31.Biologist32.Motivational Speaker33.Special Effects Technician34.Artist35. Photographer36.Inventor37.Marketing Specialist38.Politician39.Corporate Trainer40.Professor Also, apparentl
Loser 2006-07-14 23:31:00 I know I posted only about an hour before, but I think I'm getting addicted to talking about myself. Yes, I'm an attention whore.I just went on my old xanga account to see what everyone was up to. I haven't been on in ages and my last post must have been half a year ago. Anyways, everyone seemed to be having something to do. People were looking for jobs and getting interviews, out all day hanging out with friends, travelling everywhere with family, etc. And I'm just sitting here in front of my computer whining about my problems here. It feels kind of like I have no life, you know? It feels kind of like everything I want to do this summer just didn't work out and I got left with the second-best option. Instead of getting a job, (which my other 'friend' had promised we would job-hunt together and go to interviews together for moral support. Turned out, she found a job and didn't even tell me she actually found a job, let alone tell me about the job opening or the interview) I'm Read more:Loser
World Cup 2006 Finals 2006-07-10 00:32:00 This is my last World
Cup post, I promise.Italian Victory! 5-3 on Penalty Shots!!!Ah, World Cup
2006 has finally come to an end with the Italians bringing home the cup for the fourth time. The match today wasn't that spectacular, there was so much stoppage and after about eighty minutes, all the players looked really wiped out. First two minutes in and Henry already gets a head injury by colliding with some Italian player and that stopped the game for like three minutes. A few minutes later, a foul to a French player occurs in the penalty area and France gets a penalty shot with a leading goal seven minutes into the game. Then at about nineteen minutes, Materazzi scores for Italy, bringing the game to a tie. During second half, its mostly a lot of 'almost' shots, but nothing in the goal. Extra time had to be played and at about 111 minutes Zidaine suddenly butts Materazzi in the chest and was sent off by the referee with a red card. When I saw that I was like "WTF?" what just happen
Faking Open Mindedness 2006-07-08 23:49:00 You know, here in North America, we're supposed to be embracing differences and all opened minded and everything, but I can tell you that we're just faking it. If we're so open minded then why did a movie like Brokeback Mountain generate more publicity than all the other Academy Award Nominees combined? Why would a movie like that get banned in several states in the US? Supposingly the leader in the Free World countries? Why is it accepted for a woman to stay at home and take care of her family after she's married but not for a man? Why would a woman be considered irresponsible if she decides to choose career over family but if a man did the same he would be considered amibitious? Even Canada, its in the consitution that you can do anything as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. Yet, churches are banning gay marriages and polygamy is still being practiced certain parts of British Columbia. The most ironic thing about the polygamy is its practiced by a Christain community. Doesn't it
Wash Away 2006-07-02 23:05:00 Scarlet, crimson;ivory, onyx;thunder, heartbeat;river, ripple;ice, fire;caress, devour;feel my breath on your neck,your soul on my skin,let it all wash away...
Favourite Soccer Player 2006-06-30 20:28:00 Yes, this is another World Cup post. My new favourite soccer player is not Beckam, Ronaldo, or Figo, its Michael Ballack, Captain of the German World Cup Soccer
team. He has good endurance, leadership skills, strategy, and of course, the fact that he's cute is one of the positive attributes. Has anyone noticed that he kind of looks like Brad Pitt?
Read more:Favourite
Movie Truths 2006-06-28 23:31:00 For all you boys out there, this post is directed to you.Last night, I was watching Deuce Biggilo: Male Giggilo (sp?) which was supposed to be a comedy but really wasn't that funny. However, there was a part that I felt made a very good point. In the story, Deuce cleans aquariums for a living and a fish in a Giggilo's (a male prostitute, or according to Deuce, a 'man whore') house was sick and he needed to go to Europe for three weeks, so Deuce ends up watching his house and babysitting his fish for him and breaks his six thousand dollar fish tank in the process. So Deuce becomes a Giggilo to earn money and buy a new fish tank. Throughout his career, he doesn't sleep with a single woman (besides the one he fell in love with) but he still earns enough moeny to buy the fish tank. The women didn't actually pay him money to have sex with them, they continued paying him just for dates because he made them feel good about themselves. I think this is with pretty much every female. We li
Just For Laughs 2006-06-27 20:20:00 After all those depressing posts, I've decided to cheer up a bit and post some funny things I've discovered. By the way, I didn't make any of these up, I'm just posting them.OscarsJoan Rivers: (at the red carpet) I haven't seen so many breasts in one place since Kentucky Fried Chicken!The SimpsonsBart: Fine, lets climb down, but don't touch my hand, you're gay.Todd: What does gay mean?Bart: Uh...It means that you used to be scared but you're not scared anymore.Todd: Daddy, daddy! Look! I'm gay! I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay!How to tell your parents about your report cardDear Mom, I'm really sorry that you're reading this right now and I have to tell you that I ran away from home. I'm with my boyfriend, Rob, who is absolutely gorgeous and covered from head to toe with tatoos and body piercings. I'm pregnant with his child, but don't worry about me! Rob's got a trailer in the outskirts of the city and we're living there together. We have some great neighbours wh
World Cup 2006 2006-06-23 21:18:00 Those of you who don't watch World
Cup can skip this post.Anyways, I'm one of those people who don't watch soccer unless its World Cup
and pretty much know nothing about the rules, but once every four years, I am, like all the sweaty jersey-wearing, face-painting, cheering soccer fans that can't afford to go to the hosting country; parked in front of the TV for the games when they come on. I know what you must be thinking, that as a girl, I only watch World Cup to check out cute soccer players and ogle at their chests when they take off their jerseys at the end of the match to trade. Okay, I admit it, that is partially true, but what I like most about watching the games is seeing the excitement of the fans and watching the strategy of gameplay used by the players. There's also something about watching the ball go into the goal, the sudden increase of your heartbeat, you hold your breath, you watch Ronaldo (or Beckam, Ronaldhino, Figo, etc.) focus on the goal, lift his leg up and s
Yes, I am a nerd. 2006-06-21 02:21:00 Yes, I am a nerd. I will admit it right now, right here. Yes, I chain-read the way smokers chain-smoke. My favourite class isn't P.E. or art, its Social Studies. I read the newspaper every morning as I ride the bus to school. I know what the gas prices are today. And yes, I'd rather spend more time reading than coordinating my outfits. But of course, in the world of high school, only beautiful people are respected. Yes, teen movie chick flicks are lying. I can pretty much tell you that at least 75% of the male population in high school go for skinny girls with big boobs and pretty faces. The remaining 25% go for the athletic type or the extremely smart type and most of us do not fulfill either category. Which I think is a reason why chick flicks always make so much money, every ordinary girl wants to be the leading actress in the movie. But one thing's for sure, in fifteen years, all us 'nerds' and 'normlies' will be the ones walking in downtown with Gucci and Prada bought with
Victim of Advertisment 2006-06-20 00:00:00 Okay, I will now tell you something I did the other day that leaves me feeling incredibly stupid. So the other day, I went shopping for conditioner since I ran out and I was browsing through all the shelves and looking at all the prices. Nothing was on sale but one particular bottle caught my eye (left). Now it wasn't on sale or anything, in fact, I paid seven dollars for this when I could have bought Pantene Pro-V conditioner for half the price. So what made me change my mind? This article floating around the back of my mind that I must have read at least a year ago:You can't really see it in the picture but its Jessica Simpson saying that "Paves has restored her hair and it contains the same stuff as the expensive products, but its cheap. (by the way, to us normal consumers, that is not cheap). Conciously, I can tell you that in no way do I admire Jessica Simpson or want to be like her. I mean, come on, I'm not saying that having morals isn't good, but you don't have to go aroun Read more:Advertisment
Petty Revenge 2007-04-13 03:38:00 This is my 100th post on this blog! Its not a particularly happy or deep and soulful post. It is a post of petty revenge that I have resisted until this day to act upon.This is a picture of someone that I will call "Dick" for the purposes of protecting his identity despite how much he does not deserve it. Also, of course, the double meaning of the name gives you a sense of what his personality is like. No offense to any of you out there named "Dick". In my previous rants about Theatre Company and the Spring Play, I have mentioned the group of people determined to have their way and ignore other people's ideas. "Dick" is the ringleader. In the drama studio, there are quite alot of pictures of people in Theatre Company in various plays. I have quite a few pictures posted on the walls. The other day, I noticed that in almost all of my pictures, somebody took a sharpie and decided to blot out my face. My immediate emotions of course were rage and different methods of revenge ran through m Read more:Petty
, Revenge
The Computer Drama 2007-04-15 06:45:00 God, if I can use my computer to crack open beers, maybe I'd feel a bit more mellow and less pissed off at this piece of crap. Before I go on any further, if you don't know already, I'm not exactly a computer expert and don't know much about computers beyond the basic stuff. This horrid tale begins with my CD-ROM drive no longer functioning. Now my computer is a little more than five years old, but for some reason, it can't even play DVDs and I've been thinking of getting a DVD drive for a while anyways so this gave me an excuse to get a CD/DVD drive combo that all the new computers now have. So I skipped along to the neighbourhood Future Shop, a place where they over-charge you for the same metal crap you get everywhere else. Now I'm aware of the red-uniformed vultures (also known as salespeople) who prey on computer idiots like me. They had an internal drive for $60 and an external drive connected via USB cable for $70. Ohhhh the external drive, what a beautiful thi Read more:Computer
Weekend Store Hours 2007-04-16 06:28:00 I really don't understand why stores close earlier on weekends. It makes no sense at all. I mean, weekends are when people don't have to go to work and therefore have more time to shop. Store
s are open late on weekdays when people are too tired to shop after work or they have to go to sleep earlier because they have to wake up early the next morning. Doesn't it make sense to extend store hours on weekends? I mean, they would make so much more money by mall-lingering people like me who can spend the entire day at the mall. Well, I mostly window shop but that's not the point. This pretty much takes out half of the things one could possibly do on a weekend when staying out late. I mean, come on, this is ruining the country's economy here!! Okay, fine, I admit it. The source of this frustration comes from me taking the goddamned CD-ROM/DVD drive to the store for an exchange/refund and finding it closed. ARGH!
Read more:Weekend
, Hours
Little Miss Scary (or rather, INSANE) 2007-04-29 01:42:00 Weeeeeeeee!!!!! After all these months of bottled up anger and stress, I think I've finally gone insane. Everything seems strangely emotional to me nowadays, even "Spongebob Squarepants" seems strangely touching. All the people that want to "look at my work" in socials class tempt me to throw a loud temper tantrum on the spot. All of a sudden, when I think about Theatre Company, I want to laugh. A friend pointed out to me a few days ago that we're all in Theatre Company because we need to mask our insecurities with being in the spotlight but once one of us actually gets the spotlight and the attention, we have to go about bringing that person down because we can't stand the idea of anyone but ourselves in the spotlight. Doesn't this seem funny? Deep inside, we're all a bunch of school yard bullies with attention-whore complexes. I spent most of today watching alternating episodes of "Prison Break" and "Sex and the City", two things that do not mix at all. While watching and even r Read more:Scary
, Little Miss
The Underappreciated Careers 2007-04-25 02:46:00 The only thing I can say right now is that April sucks. I'm stressed, pissed off, and slightly sad. Thirty-two people died in a shooting at Virginia Tech, I am once again, going through my college/university options and career choices. In the midst of all this, I succumbed to my unhealthy habit of emotional eating, which led to my realization that one of the most admirable careers in the world was being a farmer. Even with modern technology and huge ass tractors instead of oxen and plow, being a farmer still isn't easy. You have to risk losing your crops to uncontrollable elements like the weather. The biggest reason for my admiration is that farmers are the ones who grow our food. You could be Bill Gates or the King/Prime Minister of Saudi Arabia, it doesn't matter. If you want your lettuce and tomatoes. If you want your bacon and eggs, you get it from the farmers. Despite all of this, my mental image of farmers has always been some guy in overalls, boots drenched in mud, pulli
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