Owner: plooptionary URL:http://www.plooptionary.com Join Date: Wed, 04 Apr 2007 13:58:39 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Unearthing idiocy in the world of business, politics and TV - the glass is never half full Site statistics:Click here
ploop TV - no one cares like Blair 2007-04-23 10:26:27 Exhasperated that not one single member of the British public cares about people as much as him, Tony Blair
calls in some favours from his Islington TV buddies. A meeting is called in a ball-breakingly fashionable cave carved from bat shit underneath Battersea Power station. In between far too many uses of the phrases, “you [...]
Hilarious restaurant jokes 2007-04-22 21:20:01 Went out for lunch today. Quite a top end restaurant
- with very low quality guests. They were low quality for this reason: they didn’t think of their audience before cracking jokes. That worries me. It’s arrogant joking. It’s thoughtless joking. In fact, if I were the waiter I’d have simply driven the steak knife [...]
ploopology - for anyone stupid enough to believe their stars! 2007-04-26 10:00:33 We love astrology. Nothing makes more sense than your destiny being dictated by stars
so far away that, by the time you see them, they’ve burned out. It makes perfect sense. I also adore astrologers. I love their cute ‘mystical’ names, their incredibly accurate and precise copy, and the way they make huge amounts of [...] Read more:believe
plooptionary - absurd phrases idiots use in business (12 of 100) 2007-04-25 18:48:04
Plooptionary – utter bollocks from the mouths of people with nothing useful to say.
Today’s word combines everything that makes me want to go out and torture animals. It’s a word that’s been hijacked and royally fisted by internal communications consultants. Weary and sick of life, the word “cascade” has lost its associations with water and is [...] Read more:absurd
Productivity - sorted 2007-04-24 15:00:53 I’m working today yet have spent the morning messing around on the blog. Not good for my business but a very productive morning for the blog! It seems the instigator blog have been having similar thoughts regarding productivity and are looking for other people’s thoughts.
I’d certainly like to know what other regualar bloggers think on [...] Read more:Productivity
Smugness - open source 2007-04-24 10:58:37 I’ve being trying to nail smugness myself and there are too many variations. Take the graph below - what would you make A and B to arrive at smugness? I started with A=religious zeal and B=narrow mindedness but it doesn’t feel quite right. Answers in the comments please - what are A and B?
[...] Read more:open source
Diets - sorted 2007-04-24 10:49:40 It’s simple - eat less and exercise more. That’s weight loss in a nutshell. But people are bone idle, they want to lose weight quickly without taking their stubby little fingers off the remote control. Enter the fad diets. By fads I mean the Atkins diet, the east coast, the west coast, the bondi beach, [...] Read more:Diets
Open Source Ploop Science 2007-04-30 11:55:46 It’s very simple. The y axis is the increasingly likelihood that Mr or Mrs X has a very clean car - so what do you think the X axis is all about? I look forward to your comments - the best answer will, no doubt, be showered with compliments from like minded peers.
[...] Read more:Source
, Science
ploop believers … 2007-04-30 11:14:28 Proof, in the form of two good reviews landing in the ploop inbox, that the world is not entirely full of idiots has half filled me with cheer this morning. We all know we’re the last of a dying breed - the cynics, the lovers of words, truth, morality and the arts. But we can [...] Read more:hellip
ploopology - lancing the rancid boil of mystics 2007-04-29 20:24:47 As well known mystics, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to offer some of our star spotting wisdom with readers here. Not much sharing you understand - that would be commercial suicide - just the odd bit. Those wanting the full, bare arsed truth about their desparate little lives will need email me at ploop at [...]
Nasty God Squad TV - aren’t they supposed to be Christians? 2007-05-02 11:23:08 Just when you start feeling comfortable in your own cosmopolitan bubble - you know the score … you don’t believe there are too many racists or homophobics around, you’ve convinced youself that the far right must be “joking” with their bullshit, you are confident that people only watch American Idol to be ironic - this [...] Read more:Squad
, Christians
ploop TV 2007-05-01 10:09:32 ploop TV - Desperate multimedia mashup of the future.
Red is the colour of cool, man. Fox News - rolling 24 hour simulcast with BBC News 24.
In a propesterous clamour for the yoof vote, leading republican cheerleader Arnold ‘lets bomb the foreigners’ Bush agrees to star in ’Red is the colour of cool, man’. Four illiterate gang [...]
Open source ploop science 2007-05-03 13:02:43 OK, I’m far too busy watching and posting over at Godtube today so my usual prolific posting rate might be a little down. By the way - Godtube has just taught me the difference between truth and deception. It took 56 seconds and now I’m a far better man and I didn’t feel remotely patronised [...]
ploop publishing 2007-05-03 12:59:59 I’d like to let readers and commenters here know that there is someone silly enough in the world of publishing to think the ploop science graphs could be make into a book.
Yep, I’ve had an approach from someone who clearly enjoyed themselves too much in the 60s who thinks the graphs could well make either [...]
The urge to SMS your ex - science from Dolores 2007-05-03 12:40:09 We’ve received a graph from Dolores
which I’m sure readers will agree is a fine addition to the plooptionary.
Dolores broke all the rules by insisting that the graph be posted with supplementary notes. Having being through the correct referral channels and accepting that Dolores might be behind the power curve on this one … we’ve [...] Read more:SMS
ploopology - stealing hard cash from the vulnerable 2007-05-08 14:51:40 We hate astrologers. Every single one of the money grabbing charlatans oozes round the globe stealing hard earned money from the vulnerable. Frankly they’re scum. So ploop’s joining them - after all, there’s money to be made. Gradually we’ll be providing bespoke ‘executive stars’ - quick, at a glance, star readings for business men with [...]
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