Owner: Conspiracy Theories from the Reality Challenged URL:http://sseigleconspiracies.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sun, 21 Sep 2008 23:46:58 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A humorous and sometimes satirical take on parenting, relationships, and life in general. Site statistics:Click here
Quick, Hide the Google AdSense, Part 2 2008-09-21 09:54:52 Where was I? Ah yes, porn.Is there a factory somewhere deep in Arkansas that produces peroxide blond women with G-cup silicon boobs and too much lip liner, with their brains lobotomized so all they can say is "Ooooh," "Yeah," and, "Yes Mr. Johnson, I love pie."?Yea, and plot lines. WHAT THE HELL? Did these people have to graduate from soap opera acting school before they were allowed to star in po Read more:Quick
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Quick, Hide the Google AdSense, Part 1 2008-09-20 10:47:37 Anyone who's ever written online content knows that keywords are crucial. They help your content get listed in search engines, which brings traffic to your site. The more you use the same keyword in your post, the higher your ranking will be when someone googles that word.Which brings me to my next subject - sex sells.It's true! Mention the word "boobies" in one post and *BLAM!* - instant page vie Read more:Quick
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...and I Shall Call Him George 2008-09-19 23:25:54 I've gone another week without posting - I know, I know, shame on me. I'm running out of excuses, so I'll just leave you with this:...Congratulations, you've just been mooned. And there, I have accomplished two tasks at once - I've created content for a blog, and I've incorporated pictures into my blog. I've also made you endure one of the lamest attempt-at-a-joke puns ever known to man - but isn' Read more:George
Conspiracy Theory #48 - Hereditary Insanity, part deux 2008-09-14 20:31:09 Anyone who knows me personally and has ever met my parents knows that my Mother is a packrat and my Dad was a neat freak. You could tell immediately which corner of each room was my Dad's, because amongst the piles of books, paperwork, chip bags, and junk mail, would be a small, spotless space, where "there was a place for everything, and everything was in its place."What does that mean for me?I' Read more:Conspiracy
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Deep Thoughts 2008-09-14 19:41:48 That’s right folks, it’s out with the mindless trash talking and in with this round of memorable quotes & conversations you really didn’t want to walk in on the middle of - Reality Challenged style. **Writer cannot be held accountable for sudden bouts of nausea or sinus cavity damage from spewing carbonated beverages through your nose.Memorable Quotes:“Seriously - he could be in a dead
Birthday Bliss 2008-09-11 22:35:43 First, my apologies for not posting more lately, but my house has been overrun with midgets and a satellite has intercepted my brain waves, making it painfully impossible to come up with anything original.Yes, I'm reaching - sorry for that. Next.Today's my birthday (thank you, thank you, hold your applause), and I'm now officially one year past a quarter of a century old.Think it's time to start c Read more:Birthday
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Conspiracy Theory #982 - Useless Movie Quotes 2008-09-05 10:30:02 I don't know about you, but I can't remember half of what I learned in history class. I can't remember the passages from Romeo and Juliet, Ceasar, or Beowulf that we were forced to memorize in highschool. And I have no idea what our guest speakers were blabbing about at graduation.I can, however, remember in great detail every movie quote that ever made me giggle. AND, I can annoy any unfortunate Read more:Conspiracy
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Conspiracy Theory #331- "Poetic Liberties" 2008-09-05 09:37:51 In the world of fiction, generally a writer will create alter egos for themselves and do little more than change the names of their friends in their stories, and all are based (though sometimes very loosely) on actual events.That disclaimer you see in front of movies and television shows that says all characters and situations are complete works of fiction and any similarities to real life people Read more:Conspiracy
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ConspiracyTheory #769 - Ninja Readers 2008-09-02 21:35:33 Ok, I've been paying close attention to my page views the last few weeks - and my page views are jumping, but I'm getting no comments.Not even anonymous. Not even hate filled, misspelled pre-menstrual rants.I began to wonder why no one was compelled to respond to my mindless posts anymore.I know what you're thinking, "Oh God, not another list - PLEASE."Yoink.I've thought long and hard about this Read more:Ninja
Conspiracy Theory #eleventy-seven - Evil Thoughts 2008-08-31 02:05:07 There comes a time in even the nicest person's life where someone pisses you off to the point where you spend ridiculous amounts of hours plotting revenge. Myself, I have wonderful mental images that will pop up even when I'm talking to a person that annoys me. Sometimes they come at random times completely unannounced, and I float off into my happy place at very unfortunate times. This is why I Read more:Conspiracy
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Hooray for Boobies 2008-08-27 11:22:00 Here's a fun fact: Aside from Oxygen, Silicon is the second most abundant element on Earth. 97% of it is in L.A. 38% of that is under Pam Anderson's shirt.If I had a nickle for every time one of my guy friend told me they'd never leave the house if they had boobs - well, I'd have a ridiculously large piggy bank.I don't get it. A good friend of mine nailed it right on the head when she said, "Serio
It's a 2 for 1 !! 2008-08-25 19:46:19 I know exactly what you're thinking - "Wtf... why didn't I think of that?"...I wonder if he also dressed up like a construction worker...or an Indian... or Elvis? I bet editors of the National Enquirer are kicking themselves in the butt right about now...
Talking in Your Sleep 2008-08-24 14:42:48 I remember my Dad telling me once when I was a kid that he held an entire conversation with me while I was asleep - about molecular physics and jelly sandwiches.*shrug*So, while I was thinking about the most redundant subject possible to blog about, I decided I'd share with you a few of the things I heard and seen people do in their sleep....scary, isn't it?We'll start with the anonymous Dr. Phil, Read more:Talking
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Hide and Seek 2008-08-21 22:01:07 I'm not sure if I'm the "cool aunt," or if I've unwittingly nominated myself family babysitter, but I've had a substantial rise in visits from my nieces and nephews in the past couple of weeks.I'm not complaining - in fact, it gives me plenty of extra cannon fodder for my blogs...I had my niece over today, since her brother and sister had band practice and she doesn't generally relish the thought
Conspiracy Theory #34 - Contamination in the Gene Pool 2008-08-19 15:33:52 Yea, I might already have a ConspiracyTheory
#34, I don't care.God help me if I ever try to compile my ramblings and put them in numerical order. *shudder*Today's subject of my senseless rambling, in case you didn't already tell from the title, has to do with the genes our children inevitably inherit that you really sometimes wish you could just suck out and inject into the children of someone y Read more:Conspiracy Theory
Conspiracy Theory #11 - 5 Things That Will Kill our Conversation 2008-08-18 17:55:17 You all know there are plenty of things that annoy me, or just plain piss me off due to the sheer stupidity of the matter....and yes, I know that I spend WAY too much time blogging about things that annoy me and piss me off due to the sheer stupidity of the matter.But guess what? Look to the left of your screen. See the name there? SANDRA. Sandra's blog. I have an insane amount of opinionated aggr Read more:Conspiracy
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testing 1-2 2008-08-18 11:10:40 myLot User Profile
Why I Will Never be able to Work in Customer Service 2008-08-18 09:27:11 I'm the type of person who can work with people, if I absolutely have to, but for the most part I am better suited working in a dark, quiet corner all by my little lonesome. Why? I'm not sure really, but I know that generally if it came down to a choice between a series of painful shots in the kneecaps and dealing with the average customer, I'd inquire as to the exact number of shots.Kidding! Well Read more:Customer
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My Blogger's on Crack 2008-08-17 15:57:44 Yea... So now my Blog is telling me I need to put up new posts or it's going to do it for me, apparently. I was finishing up moderating my comments when I got to a screen that said, "Your blog has been published successfully!"Wtf?Now if only I could get it to do that and publish more than just a couple nonsensical symbols, my job would be a whole lot easier.I'll have to come up with a disclaimer t Read more:Blogger
I Think I might be Psychic 2008-08-10 16:13:26 No, really.That's not a typo, I really meant "psychic," not "psychotic."Why? Allow me to explain.It could be the psychosis of parenthood or sleep deprivation, but I get Deja vu constantly. For instance, the other day my youngest daughter refused to stay in her bed at nap time. She came out into the living room and stood in the same spot at least 7 different times, each time with the same excuse - Read more:Psychic
Nautical Nonsense and Other Time-Waste Worthy Rants 2008-08-05 23:32:59 I hate cartoons. I loathe Nickelodeon, the Disney Channel, and Cartoon Network.It's not the stream of redundant cartoons that my children insist that HAVE to watch 24 hours a day, no matter how many times I tell them no or try to lure them away with crayons, swimming, or a semi-educational game of Candyland. It's not even the increasingly obnoxious theme songs that get stuck in your head after y Read more:Nautical
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This Week's WTF?? - Alabama Voters Barking up ANY Tree, Apparently... 2008-08-03 21:39:59 I think it's great that we've reached a point as a society where a woman, a racially mixed man, and a mentally challanged person can run for president without upheaval from closed minded bigots -What's that? George W. isn't mentally challenged? My bad.*dials lawyer & readies auto-respond system on comments*But I must say, the world of politics is becoming a little too lax in their standards if Read more:Alabama
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No Update Needed 2008-07-28 22:39:37 So my apologies to everyone for being gone so long, been a lot of bs going on and no internet acces to be able to vent about it. I got my girls back, that's all that matters - pretty funny, considering what a "crappy mother" I am and all. Anyway, I'm done with the useless name calling and nonsense, so let's move on, shall we?Where to start... I got into a fight with a chair in my girls' room and Read more:Update
My Apologies 2008-07-10 10:44:47 In my attempt to satisfy those that write to Sandra via comment, I, Levi, have published comments that she was wanting to comment on before publishing them. I apologize whole heartedly to anyone who is waiting for a response. But she will be back online shortly and I'm sure that she will have responses to all comments so please wait until she comments back before sending her more. S
Your Village Called 2008-04-28 16:45:20 So I officially have an anti-fan, who seems to have nothing better to do than post hateful comments about my parenting skills. I find it hilarious that this person has never met me, has never seen me with my children, and has never even met my ex, except through an online video game. I'll admit I was angry with the first couple comments both on my blog and my ex's, but when it came down to it I h Read more:Village
Why I Hate Everything About Madonna 2008-10-12 20:19:13 Ok, I don't REALLY hate Madonna
. I think she's a very talented, innovative attention whore. She's been a strong force in the music industry since before I was born, I get it - I respect her as a musician; I loathe her as an icon.It all started my senior year in high school, when I and my fellow pageant contestants were subjected to months of brainwashing tactics aimed at learning ridiculously re Read more:Everything
Derailed Diet Excuses That Just Don't Work 2008-10-03 21:55:39 This had to pop up sooner or later, what with my making fun of whiny heavy people who are only heavy through their own lack of will power (and I can say that, as I've had to jump back on the diet bandwagon myself because of some poor diet choices - damn you, Hershey's Kisses in 5 billion flavors). So, I've compiled a list of all the derailed diet excuses that I can and will laugh at if I hear you Read more:Excuses
Here's a Bunny With a Pancake on its Head 2008-10-02 09:15:44 Yup, it's another round of deep thoughts.Is it me, or are kids bigger than they used to be? Maybe the government should regulate the use of Miracle Grow on fruit and vegetable crops.Does the Disney Channel have a secret laboratory somewhere where they create test-tube babies that are freakishly attractive, talented, bilingual, and marketable by the thousands?Is George W.'s head lumpy from all thos Read more:Bunny
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Life is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back 2008-10-02 09:14:28 Ah, Meatloaf.You thought this was going to be some whiny emo post, didn't you? From me? Riiiight...Who doesn't love Meatloaf? That is, anyone who's heard of him and doesn't think he's the gloppy red-sauced stuff they serve at nursing homes to people who've forgotten to put their pants on that morning.Yipe.It still amazes me, even at 26, how the next generation of kids think that Knockin' on Heaven Read more:Lemon
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If You Give a Mouse a Cookie... 2008-10-02 09:13:38 He'll eat it. That simple. He'll eat it, and poop it out in your pantry on top of something not well sealed a few hours later.Both of my children have a Breakthrough to Literacy program going in each of their schools - which is great, don't get me wrong - but I've read the Cat in the Hat so many times this last week that in real life conversations I'm beginning to sound like I'm channeling Dr. Seu Read more:Mouse
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