Owner: Stupid is as stupid blogs URL:http://stupidisasstupidblogs.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sun, 21 Sep 2008 01:00:40 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: One man's life in all it's idiocy. Site statistics:Click here
Frankenfriend. 2008-09-20 19:53:00 Reading Frankenstein was a life changing experience for me. As soon as I put the book down, I was off to the cemetery, to dig up a new friend! I must've dug up every single plot but they had all deteriorated to the point of uselessness, how was I supposed to electrocute a skeleton to life? Well, I was about to give up when I remembered that my neighbours son had lost his pet gerbil and buried in t
Sweet ride...:) 2008-09-20 19:16:00 I still think about the first car I ever owned.It was a red 64 Impala, in perfect condition, or so I thought. When the guys saw it, their jaws dropped, it was a sweet looking ride. I had it for quite a long time and made some incredible memories with it. But that being said it had some major problems. For one the steering was incredibly stiff, I figured it was a loose belt, but I'm no mechanic so Read more:Sweet
Never again Groper! 2008-09-20 14:40:00 The wettest place on earth is directly underwater. I found that out the first time I went skinny diving. If you've never heard of skinny diving, it's a form of skin diving but you're semi-naked. I say semi-naked due to the fact that you're wearing a mask, tank and flippers. The crotchlings are exposed though and this is a dangerous thing when skinny diving with that deadliest of hunters...the Gian
Let's go trains! 2008-09-17 20:59:00 I've thought a lot about trains over the years.The problem I have with them is that they're so slow compared to other forms of transportation. Also, there's all those miles and miles of track that litter the pristine landscape. If I were in charge of things I'd redesign them so that they're much more efficient at getting to where they're going. First of all I'd streamline the body of the train so
Abducted? 2008-09-14 23:09:00 The alien startled me when he entered my room that night.Right away, I figured that he had come to abduct me so I quickly thought of what I need if it was an overnighter...clean underwear, socks, toothbrush...I was starting to get excited at the prospect of a trip!My visitor stood there in the dark, wavering and after a while asked me if he could have a drink. I answered sure, though I was worried
Meatloaf, meatloaf, I love meatloaf! 2008-09-14 18:24:00 Last night I had some friends over for dinner.I had decided to make a meatloaf, since it's such a beloved dish. Everyone was enjoying the cabernet as my meatloaf gently roasted in it's savory juice. I chuckled as a shout for another bottle of red caused me to move quickly and serve. Everyone laughed as Amy spilt wine on her white blouse as she flirted with Joan's husband Frank.The rich sent of the
Power of the subconscious...ooh yeah, baby. 2008-09-12 14:22:00 I've been reading a very powerful book, it's called The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Eaton Farnarkle. I've been wanting to tap into the power of my subconscious since I was 8 1/2, so when I spotted this book at the shop, I was pretty excited! It cost a bit more than I was wanting to spend but I took the plunge and splurged. When I got home I couldn't wait and I imediately dove right into chap
Bone! 2008-09-12 01:53:00 Everything seemed to start after I had some Tortellini soup. My back began hurting like crazy and I was sure that a piece of the pasta had lodged itself in my back. Well, it was getting really bad so I ended up biting the bullet and driving myself to the emergency room of the local Hospital. I told them about the tortellini soup and how much pain my back was in and that I was thinking there was
Strangers in the afternoon, exchanging glances, yay! 2008-09-11 11:42:00 Has anyone ever had that unsettling feeling that I'm being watched?I had it last week. I had stopped in the lobby of the apartment to get the mail. As I was sorting through all the bills I suddenly felt odd, like there was someone there watching me. I looked over my shoulder and around the lobby but there was no one there.I went over to the little trash can to throw in the bills when I felt it eve Read more:Strangers
Peanut butter trees...mmm, mmm good! 2008-09-11 01:57:00 So, I had a stupid thing happen today.I had bought a jar of organic peanut butter the other day, which was expensive, so I thought, why don't I get myself a peanut butter tree and grow my own peanut butter instead of spending ridiculous amounts on the pre-jarred kind. Well, I jump in my car and scoot down to the nursery and ask one of the clerks to show me the peanut butter trees. He looks at me o Read more:Peanut
Low tide? YUCK! 2008-10-08 17:05:00 I finally figured out why fish are smelly and it's because they poop in their bath water. That's a very silly thing to do, especially if you live in your bath like they do. Unfortunately, it's not just fish but all the other marine life that live in the Atlantic, Pacific and the rest of the world's baths, fill it with their poop as well!I have a plan to supply every living sea creature with a diap
Horroscope. 2008-10-06 12:35:00 Here was my horoscope for today...Dean, today is looking up for you! Your arch enemy, Eddie Codplaster, will be badly killed by a bullet entering his right ventricle at a speed of 1100 feet per second in a violent gunfight accident he will have with his fellow postal workers on the corner of First and Maple, at around 2:30ish.2:30ish?! They're always so vague!
Red state! 2008-10-06 12:17:00 I think the anti-christ movement uses a very misleading term, pro-satan would be more accurate.
Great Canadian Beaver! 2008-10-06 12:12:00 In my lifelong study of the CanadianBeaver
, I have found that they exist on an exclusive diet of tree meat, which I was surprised to discover, since I had always thought of them as strict vegetarians. Read more:Great
Frankly speaking... 2008-10-05 22:14:00 Frank would be the proper term to describe the discussion I had with an EX-friend of mine last month.It was strange though, I was talking about our mutual friend Frank, while my friend was talking about Clovis I, 'King of the Franks'. When he mentioned King of the Franks, I thought he was talking about my Uncle Frank, who is the best at the BBQ, bar none. He replied that he had heard that Frank Ba
Test! 2008-10-03 16:00:00 I remember when I first realized that not all teachers are smart.It was when I got my test back in history class. One of the questions was about the height of the Roman Empire. I admit I had to guess and I wrote down 14 feet. In violent, red pencil, Mr. Lipschitz had written AD 117. I did and came up with 131. There's absolutely no way it was that tall, what an idiot!
Humin bings, ya say? 2008-10-02 15:11:00 Any one who knows me well, knows that I've held a philosophy in regards to life and human existence in particular that I feel rings true regardless of one's geographic location or position in life. I've spent many years studying all the various aspects of human existence since man's beginnings and have found many truths that cross all boundaries, cultures and personal experiences. One of those thi
Gone in 42 seconds! 2008-10-01 17:03:00 The other day someone asked me how I'd spend my time, if I found out I only had 42 seconds to live.The first thought that came to mind, would be to brush my teeth but then I thought how silly that would be. Then I realized I'd like to hold my daughter. But then the thought occurred to me that if I was being told that I had 42 seconds left to live, it would probably be in the doctor's office. That
AARRGGHHH!!!! 2008-10-01 14:00:00 The other day my doctor commented that I should see a psychotherapist.Well, I'm not stupid and I know exactly what that means in health care speak! That's derogatory, offensive and it made me livid!!I've NEVER in my whole LIFE, been called a PSYCHO and to be honest, I found myself almost S@#$TING WHERE I SAT!!! I WAS SO MAD!!!!!I COULDN'T CONTROL MYSELF AND FLEW INTO A @*$%#@ING RAGE!!!!!!I TORE T
Commandments! 2008-09-28 23:39:00 I remember when I first watched the ten commandments.After it was over I felt all jazzed about what I could do to motivate people and goodness knows, my group of friends sure needed it! Well, that night I decided to get down my ten commandments while they were still fresh in my mind. I knew that it would take too long to burn them with hot lightning into stone like in the movie, so I decided I wou Read more:Commandments
National security! 2008-09-28 00:27:00 (God is approached by a very troubled Eve)Eve: Mr. President, we have a serious national security
issue!God: Yeah?Eve: It's my husband's flatulence.God: A fart is a national security issue?Eve: We're not talking fart, we're talking Adam bomb! Read more:National
The Fabulous Grococks! 2008-09-27 22:53:00 Mankind has used a variety of soaps and other things for cleaning hair but one couple made a real difference. Their names were Dick and Fanny Grocock. Dick Grocock had met, whom he thought, was the absolute perfect woman in Fanny Pounder. She was everything he wanted but the only problem was, she liked hair. Well, Dick made the decision to get a hair transplant and found the best professional for
She who must not be named! 2008-09-27 12:04:00 The other day, my dad said he saw a Red-Throated Nuthatch. Of course, I thought he was talking about my ex-girlfriend Trixie but it turned out that he was talking about some kind of bird. I hate when he embarrasses himself like that! Read more:named
Four thumbs up! 2008-09-25 14:30:00 Has anyone ever seen the film Mileage of the Rams?It's a very touching love story between a salesman at a Dodge dealership and a poor but beautiful girl who washes vehicles there. I have to say some of it is pretty predictable like the sleazy rival salesman and the love making in the box of the Ram 3500 Mega Cab. Despite being in the back of a truck it could've turned out beautifully if it wasn't Read more:thumbs
Ribbed! 2008-09-24 04:21:00 Eve : Adam, be honest...there were others before me weren't there.Adam : What, you mean my other 23 ribs?
Toes! 2008-09-24 04:18:00 I realized last night that although I brush my teeth at least twice a day I've never brushed my toes. Come to think of it, in all the years that I've gone to my dentist not once has he checked my toes or even asked how they were doing and I know damn well that there are some cavities there, I can see them in between each toe.Anyway, this morning I decided to take the Colgate to them! Now they sme
Apologies! 2008-09-24 04:15:00 The other day I bumped into an elderly gentleman at the supermarket, causing him to drop his ear wax remover. He was quite embarrassed and I begged his pardon for my clumsiness. Afterwords though it seemed to be weighing heavily on me. I couldn't stop feeling down about what had happened.Finally I ended up seeing my doctor about it and he diagnosed me with Post Pardon Depression.
Wash did you shay? 2008-09-24 04:11:00 I was in a discussion a few days ago with some people and a girl used the term divine intervention 'You mean where we confront God about his drinking problem?' I asked.
Statistix. 2008-09-23 00:11:00 My thesis in university was on statistics. I was shocked to find in my studies, that over 78 percent of fatal accidents resulted in death!What is happening to society?
Hail, Seizure! 2008-09-22 15:48:00 I was dying for some hot chocolate once but had run out of milk and it wasn't the kind to be made with water and the only liquid I had that came close to the thickness of milk was some Mott's Clamato Juice. Well, I boiled it up and added the cocoa and realized that Rum didn't seem appropriate so I added some Vodka.I had invented the Hot Chocolate Caesar! I have to admit it tasted sickening at fir Read more:Seizure
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