Celebrities I “look” like 2008-09-13 20:47:27 Logging in to read Beyond Left Field the other day I noticed this nifty celebrity look-alike gadget on Don’s page.Don was one of the first readers of The Driveby beyond my circle of friends and I appreciate his comments and support. Drop by and visit his site, he’s got a wry sense of humor and his columns are some of my favorites.Who they say I look likeI wanted to try the look-alike thing and Read more:Celebrities
Column 46 2008-09-12 20:52:06 Well, a month has passed since The Driveby hit the WWW.The Driveby was born on Aug. 8 and since then there have been 45 columns. You can’t get a better bargain even if you went to one of those $99 car painting places.I like those special reruns on television, the flashbacks, favorite moments. If you’ve watched any TV you know what I’m talking about.So, for the month anniversary special I tho Read more:Column
The Milkshakes of Tyranny 2008-09-10 12:17:26 Blood money can take many forms. A milkshake?I enjoy milkshakes occasionally but one made with the blood of four good people who took a stand is enough to make the most naive person cynical.I want to say Todd, our photographer, and myself were in the break room Friday when the Big Man asks us what kind of milkshake we want.“Just ate,” I replied.Todd also refused.Apparently, Friday — as the n Read more:Tyranny
Butt caressing in Madden 2008-09-09 20:35:42 The player scores and does the Lambeau Leap into the end zone grandstand. Fans are excited, patting the player on the helmet and back. Their team scored and they are happy. Then, a hand slides down the player’s back and caresses his butt.Welcome to Madden
football.I’m not making this up. I was playing a game a few weeks ago and my receiver did the leap and I said, “OK, grab the butt.” The
THC Candles 2008-09-08 21:46:03 I swear there’s THC in those candles. What makes me believe there is, another weird thing I’m going to say (not unusual for me) is that my toes tingled the first time I lit one.When I get baked, well, the toes tingle. First sign. Second sign: Laughing. You could be talking about the Georgia-Russia conflict, the starving children in Africa, the Kennedy assassination and I’m going to laugh.I r Read more:Candles
The Purging. Part VI 2008-09-07 03:39:30 The regional manager comes the other day and they walk around the building and I know they had to go through the Creative Department and see the empty chairs from where the whole department walked out.The regional manager’s only comment is sorry it happened and thanks (to the ass suckers) for keeping things afloat while they walk around the building looking for leaks or something.Rome burns and
Lessons from the purging 2008-09-07 03:36:04 So what has the Purging taught me? Read the poem and study it carefully:Repulsive, pretentious people, always blindOnly not to their own kindNever stopping to see themselvesNo thought of lives they place on shelvesImbeciles who think they’re slyEach stupid move, a reason whyBelieve themselves to know the truthEgregious ways give us proofLittle peons, what they areLoathsome roadkill, smashed by c Read more:Lessons
The Purging. Part V 2008-09-06 04:58:37 There are a few people who feel the sadness of what happened when creative walked out.They support them. I keep a picture of them on my bulletin board and use one as my wallpaper on my computer.I make comments and only a few of us care.Strange how the companywide staff meetings have stopped since then. Is the Big Man squirming? Is he trying to create an excuse, a lie, a way to whitewash it? Is he
Cruel, unusual mouse punishment 2008-09-06 04:50:24 Here we go. I saw him, it, her, whatever, scurrying across the floor and diving under the refrigerator. How do they get so small, to steal a line from Steve Martin?Mice. Invaders, foul, disease-carrying critters and I saw the blame thing and there’s nothing I could do except live my life violated because it came in the house.Being one fascinated with the bubonic plague it might be interesting bu
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