Owner: Lesbiatopia URL:http://www.lesbiatopia.com/ Join Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 09:22:43 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A humorous social commentary on the life and times of modern-day Lesbians
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Is Lesbian Dating Dead? 2007-03-26 20:20:00 A good (single) friend of mine recently brought to my attention that dating in the lesbian community in this millenium has gone extinct. These days, it seems that dating didn't even make it to the endangered list but went straight from normal practice to non-existent in the blink of an eye. I started to ponder this interesting phenomenon and wondered if there was some kind of dating vacuum that was fixated on the lesbian community. Basically, lesbians have a tendency to either hook-up and remain in a no-strings-attached, non-relationship status, OR they meet and instantly commit to a monogamous, exclusive, attached-at-the-hip relationship (U-Haul and all). So why is dating dead? Why are lesbians so reluctant to go on dates, spend nights apart, and {GASP} entertain the idea of seeing multiple women. God forbid you might go out with one girl on Tuesday and a different girl on Thursday. Hell might freeze over when you kiss two different women in the same week. Let's stop and ta Read more:Dating
Lesberada's "Famous Lesbian" Quiz Results! 2007-03-24 18:28:00 What famous lesbian do you most closely resemble? Your Result: Portia Di Rossi You're talented, smart and beautiful. You are more charming than members of the Royal Family and everyone just adores your killer smile. Plus you look amazing in a bikini.Rosie O'Donnell Ellen Degeneres Tammy Lynn Michaels K D Lang Melissa Ethridge Jackie Warner Katherine Moennig What famous lesbian do you most closely resemble?Make a Quiz Read more:Famous
Lesberita's "Famous Lesbian" Quiz Results! 2007-03-24 17:29:00 What famous lesbian do you most closely resemble? Your Result: Rosie O'Donnell You're loud, brash, braizen and a little crazy. When it comes to your opinion you, you don't hold back. Life has been quite different since you came out of the closet and thank god, because you are a staunch defender of the gays!Ellen Degeneres Portia Di Rossi Tammy Lynn Michaels Jackie Warner K D Lang Melissa Ethridge Katherine Moennig What famous lesbian do you most closely resemble?Make a Quiz Read more:Famous
Imagine This - Lesbian Retirement Homes 2007-03-22 18:18:00 So I was sitting at my desk today, working, and I randomly started to think about Depends diapers for old people, and how much it must suck to have to wear them. Then I got to thinking about old people in general, specially old lady lesbians, and I began to ponder where all the elderly lesbians go when they are too old to be cool and hip without breaking a hip. I mean, they must be out there somewhere, sporadically dispersed amongst the throngs of elderly straight couples that have made it through the years. I'm sure there are many that currently live in straight-people retirement homes and are subject to the same old Bingo nights and ice cream socials that are frequented by horny old men who still take Viagra with the hope they might get lucky. No gay woman should be subjected to that kind of insanity, especially in the elderly years where they are too old to put up with that kind of nonsense. I've recently heard of several GLBT Retirement Communities popping up in the good old Read more:Homes
, Imagine
What's new pussy? 2007-03-21 15:31:00 (Sung to the tune of "What's new pussycat?")What's new pussy? woah, woahWhat's new pussy? woah, woahPussy (pause), pussy (pause)I've got flowersAnd lots of hoursTo spend with you.So go and freshen your cute little pussyPussy (pause) pussy (pause)I love youYes, I do!You and your pussy lipsWhat's new pussy? woah, woahWhat's new pussy? woah, woahPussy (pause), pussy (pause)You're so thrillingAnd I'm so willingTo care for you.So go and make up your cute little pussy face!Pussy, pussyI love youYes, I do!You and your pussy face!What's new pussy? woah, woahWhat's new pussy? woah, woahPussy (pause), pussy (pause)You're deliciousAnd if my wishesCan all come trueI'll soon be kissing your sweet little pussy lips!Pussy, pussyI love youYes, I do!You and your pussy lips!You and your pussy taste!You and your pussy smile!
Guest Writer, Beebo Brinker: The Word on the L Word 2007-03-20 20:11:00 This week on the L word there was so much going on! I don’t know where to begin. Ilene Chaiken has once again designed a very tangled web of over the top dyke drama. (And for the record I can’t get enough of it.)I think maybe I’ll start out with our favorite hot mess, the drug addicted night club owning Kit Porter (she is always fun). Kit has just been a mess since Angus banged the nanny. She's drinking again and experimenting with super dyke Papi. Sadly, we find out that Kit, regardless of Papi’s heroic attempts at munching her box, is not a lesbian. We knew that already, but it’s always fun to try new things. Am I right ladies? (Papi must have been down there for a really long time, because her jaw looked pretty sore.) Then, after blowing some lines at the Planet, Kit looks to Angus for a little rehab help, that scene was really moving... Regardless of Kit’s short comings, she did have the best one-liner this week. And I quote, “You shoulda thought about that Read more:Guest
, Writer
Lesberita and Lesberada: A First Date Story 2007-03-20 16:32:00 A while back there were two lesbians, we'll call them Lesberada and Lesberita for all intensive purposes. Anyhow, they crossed paths through a social networking website and ended up meeting. Upon meeting, the sparks really seemed to fly, so they decided to go on a first date. The ladies prepared for the big night by dressing up in their cutest outfits and despite the nervousness that accompanies a first date, they were both very excited. Lesberada told Lesberita that she was taking her to a movie, but it was a surprise. Lesberita picked her up that night in her sporty little Civic and they drove into the city. Lesberada, being her crafty little self, had picked what she thought would be a "killer comedy" and a "hilarious movie" based on the reviews she read that day in the newspaper. The movie promised a "laugh-out-loud experience" for this newly released comedy, and although Lesberada hadn't a clue what the movie was about, she thought any movie that got such great reviews, Read more:First
, First Date
Gay Marriage - Ramblings from the Sarcastic 2007-03-16 15:47:00 After years of listening to the gay marriage debate, I agree with the conservatives; gay couples should not get married. I too, feel that it would rock the foundation of marriage. Imagine how threatening a gay couple living next door to a heterosexual couple would be? Those men managed to earn a living; participate in cultured and civic life; and still find the time to do the dishes, fix the sink, prepare an exceptional dry martini, reupholster the furniture, and redecorate the entire house on a yearly basis. As for lesbians, think about what the shared housework, shared child raising and equal financial contribution would spark in all of those desperate suburban housewives? How could the heterosexual male compete? Soon, the inability to meet the same expectations would cause the marriage to crumble and divorce rates to skyrocket well beyond the already existing 50% divorce rate! Think about all of the single parent households that would produce and God knows it takes both a male an Read more:Gay Marriage
Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal 2007-03-13 22:36:00 sarcasm at it's finest...Top TenReasons
to Make Gay Marriage
Illegal01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile coup Read more:Top Ten Reasons
Savoring some classic L Word moments 2007-03-13 21:17:00 I stumbled across this today while I was "working" and thought it would be a great addition to Lesbiatopia. Even though it isn't the best quality, I know all you L Word fans will really enjoy it, so here's the moment you've all been waiting for (drum roll please)...
How to come out to your parents? 2007-03-12 00:33:00 Coming out to your parents is every lesbians worst nightmare. Can anyone really anticipate exactly how their parents will react? Are there some ways to come out to your parents that are better than others? I believe the answer to this question is "Yes, some ways are better at handling this issue than others". I would like to offer up these eight clinically* proven steps for coming out to your parents that will help them understand your "new lifestyle" with ease.*based on personal resultsStep 1 - Start dropping hints By dropping really obvious hints to your parents over the course of time, it will help "ease" them into the notion that their daughter likes to eat pussy. Make comments about women on TV: "Wow, Angelina Jolie looks smokin' hot in that low-cut dress" or "What I wouldn't give to meet Ellen Degeneres, she's pretty much my hero" or "Ann Coulter is totally a repressed dyke in disguise". Dropping hints like these on a regular basis might give your parents an inclinat
Theories on the Lesbian U-Haul Phenomena 2007-03-09 18:35:00 Let's face it, ever since the days of Sapphos, lesbians have entered relationships at warp speed. The excerpt below is a passage from a poem written by Sapphos herself while living on the Isle of Lesbos at the time of Ancient Greece: "but come--if ever before having heard my voice from far awayyou listened, and leaving your father's golden home you came in your chariot yoked with swift, lovelysparrows bringing you over the dark earththick-feathered wings swirling downfrom the sky through mid-air arriving quickly--you, Blessed One,with a smile on your unaging faceasking again what have I sufferedand why am I calling again..." There's the age old running joke Q:"What does a lesbian bring on the second date?" A: "A U-Haul" and for some reason, all lesbians are guilty of going through this at least once in their dating lives. So what's up with lesbians and their tendency to progress in a relationship at lighting speed? Well, I've come up with a few of my own theories that I would li Read more:Phenomena
, Theories
Lesbian Hair - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly 2007-03-09 01:25:00 There is something to be said about the styles of a gay woman's hair that really sets them apart from the rest of the female population. Today we will explore the unique aspects of lesbian hairstyles and some of the great (and not so great) features of more common hairstyles. The hair of a woman can be the determining factor in targeting them as a member of the all-girls team. A woman might be walking down the street, and notice a seemingly gay hairstyle of a fellow passerby that will send a woman's gaydar into high alert. Let's take a second here to transport ourselves back to the days of Stonewall; the butch/femme dynamic was pretty much it, and it was these conspicuously "gay" hairstyles that helped the lesbians really seek out their own kind. These super short hair styles seen on stone butches was a surefire way to tell the other women she was gay; you could consider it to be a walking advertisement of homosexuality. Today, we have these daring women to thank for their bravery i
Lesbiatopia 2007-03-08 01:56:00 Welcome, my fellow rug munchers, to the wide world of Lesbiatopia. What is is Lesbiatopia you ask? Well, it's whatever you want it to be. No, really! It is an ongoing, wit-driven social commentary on the colorful (no pun intended) world of Lesbian life. Here at Lesbiatopia we will strive to poke fun at all (or some) things Lesbo, throw in the occasional L Word posting, and of course talk about sex, because what lesbian doesn't love sex? Do you have a funny lesbian story or piece of commentary? We here at Lesbiatopia would love to here your stories, so send them along. Boogie on, lezziewoman
Workout's Jackie Finally Ditches Crazy 2007-03-28 16:51:00 For anyone that tuned into last year's Season 1 you might have noticed that about 75% of the drama on the show was based around Jackie
and Mimi's rather f-ed up relationship. First, Mimi is a raving psychopath and there's no other way to put it. That woman has some serious issues, and why Jackie stuck around for 5 years is beyond me. Now, although I missed the Season Premier of the second season, I did catch the latest episode last night and was thrilled to learn that Jackie had ditched crazy Mimi and put herself back on the market. Jackie is totally going to get herself into hot water if she continues flirting with a certain straight trainer that works for her. And although Mimi's gone, I have a feeling she's going to be back on the show real soon, being all crazy and making us normal lesbians look bad. I mean, how can people not assume that lesbian relationships are not screwed up with the constant drama between Mimi and Jackie? Jackie, girl, you're making us look bad. Le Read more:Crazy
, Finally
, Workout
Chaiken’s Web: The L Word Season Finale 2007-03-27 19:30:00 This last episode had more going on than a lesbian rugby match. There were a few highlights (Dana came back) and major low lights (Dana only came back for like 30 seconds). I’ve gathered that the writers and creators of the L Word want to keep the fans coming back for more… more what… I’m not sure. Considering I have no idea what kind of elaborate lesbisodes that Ilene has in store for us, I have taken it upon myself to compose a list of the last episode’s cliffhangers and give a little insight to what I think should happen on the first episode of season 5.Cliffhanger # 1 Helena is so sick of being Kathryn's little pet that she steals stacks of cash from Kathryn’s safe. (She shoulda' just slapped the bitch)… Will Helena go to Jail? Will Kathryn find Helena and threaten her life? Will Peggy Peabody come and save the day?What should happen next season?: Helena is on the lamb and everyone is looking for her. She skips town. She ends up hiding out in a tiny village on t Read more:Finale
, Season
American Idol: Where are all the lesbians? 2007-03-27 16:39:00 Ok, I admit it, I'm an American
Idol fan. There, are you happy? Now, as this Season enters into the Top 10, it's really getting down to crunch-time. For the past few years, both Lesberada and I have followed American Idol
pretty religiously and we've noticed the lack of lesbians
that make it on the show. What's up with that, anyway? I mean, I'm sure there have been a fair shair of dykes that have made their way out to the auditions, and the question remains, are lesbians just not talented when it comes to singing? This, I highly doubt. I think Fox, in their infinite conservatism (if that's even a word), has managed to find a loop-hole and fail to cast lesbians on the show, and even if this happens, you know they don't get any screen time. Haven't the producers seen the L Word? Don't they know that the Lesbian community is chalk full of viewers who will tune in loyally if they know a fellow lezzie is on the show. Or, maybe it's some kind of conspiracy where Fox forces
When I realized I was a Lesbian 2007-03-29 23:47:00 This movie pretty much catapulted me out of the closet. Sandra Bullock is a goddess!!This scene would be a defining moment in my lesbianism. I felt things "down there" that I never felt before. Sandra Bullock, if you're reading this, I just want to say THANK YOU for being so damn hot!
Top 10 Lesbian Cartoon Characters 2007-03-29 18:11:00 1. Betty Boop Other female characters of the same time period showed their panties regularly, like Minnie Mouse, but didn't have those sexy curves. Betty Boop, however, revels in her sexuality. She wears short dresses and a garter belt yet never once do you see her with a man. Plus, her breasts are prominent, and she shows her cleavage making all the girls go ga-ga.2. Wilma FlintstoneWilma plays the strong-willed, level-headed person in her marriage, often criticizing Fred for pursuing his various ill-fated schemes because of his moronic behavior. To keep true to herself, the flirtations with Betty Rubble were obviously an intense affair that just never got the screen time it deserved. 3. Alice in WonderlandHave you ever seen Alice with a guy? She surrounds herself with cute little animals and goes on adventures through a mystical forrest. She's obviously smoking something because she has several hallucinations. The reference to Alice "falling down the rabbit hole" is an obvious al Read more:Cartoon
, Characters
Loving Annabelle: Good Film or Clit Tease? 2007-04-03 02:49:00 For anyone that hasn't seen it, here's the tag line: "The controversial story of a highly accomplished Catholic school teacher, who falls in love with her student, Annabelle." Hot right? Well, yes, actually the whole concept is very hot and I'm sure many of you have done the whole "catholic school girl/catholic teacher" role play game (I'll be the first one to admit it). When I heard about the movie "Loving
Annabelle" I was ecstatic, especially for the lesbian community, and admittedly got a little moist in the panties when I read about the plot line. I waited with baited breath for it to come out on DVD and obviously had it on my Netflix list for several weeks before the DVD was released. I wanted to see it, and I wanted to see it now! When the movie arrived, I popped it into the DVD player and snuggled up to Lesberada for some hot lesbian movie action. Overall, the movie was very enjoyable to watch; Diane Gaidry (Simone) and Erin Kelly (Annabelle) were both excellent choice Read more:Tease
Heterocules: View from the Straight Male Man 2007-04-02 16:47:00 The opportunity to be a voice for the straight man on a blog entitled “Lesbiatopia” was so appealing to me, that I was willing to harpoon my chances in the 2028 presidential election. Once my rivals get a look at the content of this site, and the content I hope to provide from here on out, I don’t think I’ll be getting the majority of the ever-important support from the Bible Belt states. But bringing to you, the internet Lesbian Mafia, the outlook on lesbianism from the eye of the meat eating, football watching male is something I find intriguing, if not a little bit dangerous. (A Little Bit Dangerous sounds like a 2 a.m. Cinemax movie or a John Cougar Mellancamp album, yet I digress.) But to truly understand my own personal point of view, I need you to understand a little bit of who I am, and my views on how “you people” live and operate in our little shoebox of society. Plus, we all know how “you people” like to categorize and form judgments, so to appreciate th Read more:Straight
McLesbo's 2007-04-04 20:08:00 A hypothetical Mc LESBO’S drive through situation. Drive through attendant: Welcome to Mc LESBO’S... May I help you?Patron: Uh yeah, Hi... I'll have 2 organic vegan double fur burgers extra moist.DTA: No problem. Would you like me to dyke those up a notch?Patron: Um. What does that mean?DTA: Well, for a dollar extra you can dyke up those burgers with the Rosie. It’s your choice of a large side and beverage... or for 5 dollars more you can get the Home Depot, not only does it come with extra huge portions but we also include complementary wall paper paste and a pack of heavy duty AA batteries.Patron: The Home Depot sounds great... I just finished dry walling.DTA: Okay. Great! Glad we could help out. What kind of drinks would you like with your Home Depots?Patron: I'll have organic water and my partner will have a triple shot mochalickienodickie white chocolate soy chi tea. What about these Jackie Warner fish tacos? How’s the fish?DTA: Fresh!Patron: Sounds tasty.DTA: Oh, it
Leisha Haley's new band "Uh Huh Her" 2007-04-04 16:27:00 Alice is my favorite L Word character, hands down, so when I stumbled across this funny video of Leisha Haley
's new band "Uh Huh Her" I got more excited than a kid in a candy store. If you get a chance, go to their Myspace page and listen to their new song "Say So". I quite enjoyed it and I think you will too. I hope they will tour sometime in the near future, although it appears that the band is still in its infancy. You can be sure I'll be keeping tabs on their progress and keeping you all updated as well. Rock on!!!
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