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Thank you, Paula the Surf Mom 2007-11-03 11:57:00 For those of you who regularly visit Lesbiatopia (and for that I thank you), you may have noticed that the site has a new and polished look to it. Actually, if you ask me, I think it looks pretty fantastic. Now, I can't take the credit for this newly custom-designed template, oh no. But, we can thank our own resident Sexpert, Paula
the Surf Mom, who has been laboriously working on making the site look as spanktacular as possible. It's been over a week spent on this labor of love, but I think you and I will both agree; it looks incredible. I just want to take this opportunity to say THANK YOU PAULA! Thank
you for bestowing your infinite blogosphere wisdom upon me, and sharing it with Lesbiatopia, and making the site look sleek, and stylish, and oh-so-sexy. I really appreciate all the work you've done. (((ROUND OF APPLAUSE)))Here is my official Seal of ApprovalMake a Lesbian Fashion StatementShop at theTags: lesbian
When Lesbians Go Crazy 2007-11-02 16:05:00 Lesbians: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. It's inevitable that when you have two women dating, living together and sharing their pets, you're bound to encounter drama. I have a friend whose three-year relationship has just gone down the drain. It's always sad to see a relationship come to an end; we've all been down that road before and know how heartbreakingly painful it can be. The one thing I notice with lesbian break-ups is that they are never short and sweet. When lesbians say, "it's over", it's usually done over a 3 - 6 month period dotted with emotional "I love you's" and fanatical "I hate you's". Why is it that gay women have such a hard time ending their relationships? I'm no relationship expert but my guess is that women are too nice to say "I don't love you anymore" but too cruel to have the decency to just walk away.One thing I've noticed during the demolition of a lesbian relationship (that is not mutually terminated) is that at least one of the Read more:Crazy
Trick or Treat Indeed! 2007-11-01 17:18:00 dubba-dubba DOO!I spent a relatively quiet evening at home after working late on what is probably my favorite holiday. Unfortunate indeed, but The Ghosts and Goblins of Halloween made sure I wasn't totally left out of the fun.So at 2:30 am my doorbell rings. I'm asleep after a few brewskis, so I was not completely "with it" and aware of the time. I'm pretty sure the clock said 2:30. I try sensible reasoning first anyway...I have a few senior citizen neighbors who might, in a late-night bind, come knocking for an emergency. Or, as anyone would suspect, it could be a crazy person...I reach my arm for the giant stick I have (just in case). But it could be any number of friends in some sort of desperate need...I retract my reach. I find myself wishing I had a peep hole. Instead, I await for a second ring. I won't even get out of bed until then. RING RING! Ugh. Groggy eyed, I stumbled into the livingroom to find...The WOLFMAN! AHHH!!!No, I'm kidding.My eye pans over to the Read more:Trick
The 100th Lesbiatopia Post: 69 Reasons Why We Love Being A Lesbian 2007-11-09 16:31:00 Lesbiatopia is happy to celebrate it's 100th post - in my eyes, it's a milestone and very exciting that we've come this far. In an effort to pop open the proverbial bottle of champagne, the Contributors of Lesbiatopia have decided to share with you 69 Reasons
Why We Love Being A Lesbian. Why 69 and not 100? Well, because when you're a lesbian, 69 is so much better and in the words of Dubbs, "We're here, we're queer, and we're sharing it with the world!" So here you go world, our elusive, exclusive and ejaculatory list of delicious fabulousness. Try not to drool while reading. And to the boys - no need to feel inferior, this was all done in good fun.Lesberita1. You don’t have to worry about gagging from a “deep throat job”2. You never have to worry about finding the toilet seat up3. You can fix your own car and get your hair done within the same afternoon4. Your orgasms are real. Always. And so are hers.5. You never have to swallow6. You never have to worry about facia
Is this the way to treat a Hero? 2007-11-09 07:50:00 I am taking a slight detour from my regular lesbian sex advice articles this morning, because this article from the Pride Depot has me mad as hell.It is about an Air Force Nurse who our served country in a time of war with distinction, but because she is a lesbian that same country has decided to screw her over. But please read the article and join me after you have finished because I have some things I want to say about all of this.Article by H.Lukas Green, Pride DEPOT.comAn honored military nurse who received several commendations for her service in uniform is taking on the Air Force that discharged her just two years short of receiving her full pension.Maj. Margaret Witt (right) was discharged from the Air Force in 2004 after being outed by an informant who told officials that she had a live-in relationship with civilian woman. Witt is challenging the military's Don't Ask Don't Tell policy as unconstitutional based on a prior ruling by the US Supreme Court's 2003 ruling striking Read more:treat
Are you Butch, Femme or Lost in the Middle? 2007-11-08 12:07:00 Sometimes when I'm not working too hard, my mind likes to wander and usually leads me down random thought processes that have nothing to do with anything. For example, the other day I was trying to decide what I would label myself in the lesbian community. I feel as though I am caught somewhere between very femme and very butch (my "normal" look, seen at right). I often dress like a tomboy and act like one too, yet I like to wear makeup and can even be seen in heels on rare occasions. I started to wonder, is there a name for this? I think that maybe I am a femmeboi (I also may have just made that up), although I did dress in drag recently on Halloween (me in drag, seen at below) when I went out with friends into the craziness that is West Hollywood on Halloween. Interestingly enough, I seemed to be mistaken for a dude quite a bit. To my own surprise, I actually had fun dressing in drag and think it is always interesting to push the boundaries of gender stereotypes. I felt like I w Read more:Femme
Take it Outside: Sex in the Outdoors 2007-11-08 08:14:00 Sometime you just have to take it outside .Tracey Cox, iVillage sex expert saysOur bodies are only truly at peace is when the sun beats down on us, because the sun’s rhythm and our body's biorhythms are the same. Living as I do in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, (one the greatest beach areas in the United States) With thousands of beach babes strutting around in next to nothing bikinis all summer providing a feast of flesh to watch and enjoy, a girl can stay pretty keyed up much of the time checking out the scenery.We also have miles of very secluded of beaches that offer countless locations for From Here to Eternity sex on the water's edge scenarios. There is nothing like the smell of salt, the sea and the waves lapping at your most intimate parts to stimulate ones senses and make a body very horney. So I have found it's not just the rays of the sun that make outdoors sex unbeatable.Our libidos rise when we're outside; the fresh air makes us feel energized, nature sends us al Read more:Outside
, Outdoors
A true SUPERSTAR!!!!!! 2007-11-07 12:15:00 I grew up in New England and never once met (or even saw) a celebrity in the 24 years that I lived there. Sure, I'd heard about the occasional celebrity being in town to film movies, like 'Mystic River' and 'The Departed', but not once did I ever cross paths with someone famous. You can imagine my surprise when I moved to LA to find that celebrity sightings are as common as pigeons at the park. It was a bit of a "culture shock" for me when I volunteered at a charity event this past weekend where celebrities mixed and mingled with all the other attendees. It's exciting to see many recognizable faces but it is truly awesome to spot someone who you are a huge fan of and greatly admire. Amidst all the famous faces yesterday, I not only spotted, but was lucky enough to meet and talk to Molly Shannon.Ever since her early days of Saturday Night Live, I've always been a huge fan of Molly Shannon. I find her style of humor to be hilarious, and I've followed her for as long as I can
Make Me Beautifuuuuuul.... Season 5 of Nip/Tuck is Here! 2007-11-06 13:58:00 I am a huge Nip/Tuck fan - in fact, I've been watching the show since it aired on FX for the very first episode on 7/22/2003. As Season
5 premiered last week, on 10/30/2007, I got so excited I wet my pants a little and thought I'd provide you with some titillating glimpses of the up-coming season.Nip/Tuck has featured several gay and trans-gendered characters over the years, including the deliciously attractive Famke Jansen, who played Julia's (Joely Richardson) MTF life coach. Then there was the erotic dream that Christian (Julian McMahon) had where he and his partner, Sean (Dylan Walsh), elope on a gay trip together during a time when Christian is questioning his own sexuality. Of course we cannot forget one of the main supporting characters, Liz Winters (Roma Maffia) a dyke with a sense of humor, who plays an anesthesiologist working under Christian and Sean. Liz is very secure in her sexual orientation and dates Alanis Morissette with a dramatic flair for several episodes.With t
Keeping Sex Fresh: Body Shots 2007-11-06 11:26:00 A body shot is a shot of alcohol that is consumed off a person's body, usually from erogenous zones such as the belly button, breasts, cleavage, and even points further south on ones anatomy.The standard technique for a body shot normally has the person taking the shot (the shootee) holding a shot glass of tequila (as Ta-kill-ya seems to the preferred spirit by most practitioners of body shots) in one hand, while the person giving the shot (the shootor) holds a wedge of lime (or lemon) in her mouth. The person taking the shot then licks a body part of her choosing on the person giving the shot, sprinkles salt on that body part, and then licks the salt off of the body part. She then downs the tequila and takes the citrus wedge out of the subject's mouth using only her mouth.When doing body shots, the technique used and the location of the salt, lime and booze can vary, as it all really depends on how well the participants know each other, or how many body shots they have previously do
Camel Toe- Sharon Stone is showing it all off 2007-11-14 17:52:00 Cameltoe is a slang term that refers to the outline of a woman's labia when seen through tight, form-fitting clothes.Can you say 'Sharon
has a Camel Toe' Kiddies.But all and all Sharon is not bad for nearly being 50 years old don't you think?Make a Lesbian Fashion StatementShop at theTags: Sharon Stone
, Fashion, Camel Toe Read more:Camel
, Sharon Stone
Sex and the City, The Movie Plus My Plot Prediction 2007-11-14 15:52:00 Strap on your Monolo Blahniks and grab your Birkin bags, the 'Sex and the City' movie is scheduled to start filming this fall and will be in Theaters May 30, 2008. Kristin Davis, Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon and Kim Cattrall are set to reprise their roles from the popular HBO series. The much-anticipated movie will be the joint effort of HBO and New Line Cinema.Anyone that knows me knows that I'm about as gay as they come. I might as well dye my hair rainbow and march around all day with my own gay pride parade, but that's besides the point. Despite being a lesbian, 'Sex and the City' is by far one of my all-time favorite TV shows. Even though the show centered around four straight women, I was inevitably drawn to the quick-witted dialog, relatable characters and the unflinching portrayal of human quirkiness and self-destructive risk-taking behaviors. Plus, the show provides more one-liners than Stephen Colbert after a State of the Union address.And of course there are th Read more:Prediction
more on fashion 2007-11-13 14:41:00 Well, I don't own a Gucci bag, but I did go to fashion school where there was none of that going-to-class-in-your-PJs business. It was a runway show 24/7. I studied textiles, so fashion to me is an empty and shallow idea that is perpetually changed by the standards of some random monkeys in a room somewhere in Upper Manhattan (think Mugatu in Zoolander). If you ask me, nothing is either in or out of fashion because everything comes back at some point.But alas, we have to wear clothes in our society, so we are constantly having fashion shoved in our faces. It's a scary thing when you shrink out of Lane Bryant and finally have hips and are faced with shopping where everyone else shops. I mean, WOO-HOO, I shrunk out of Lane Bryant, but not-so-fast kid, there's a whole new level of FASHION to tackle.Let's start with jeans, a lesbian staple. Yes, the ass of these jeans I am wearing sag. I'll admit it. But before you judge me take a look at your own ass, and anyway, who hasn't faced th
Lesbian Dating: How to find a girlfriend 2007-11-13 14:10:00 Well once again in my capacity as Lesbiatopia’s Sexpert I have received a number of e-mails from our readers; some of it was very nice, some it not so very nice and some just plain perverted, especially that the one from an Andrew ‘Dice’ Clay type in California asking me in some very boorish terms, how a straight man would go about having sex with a lesbian?Well dude first off you need to work on that vocabulary of yours, because you just aren’t ‘gonna be fuckin, no fuckin dykes bitches’, or anyone else for that matter, if that is the way you speak to them. Diceman, while I do understand that since your career went into to pooper and it may get lonely working the night shift at the parking structure, please just stick with surfing the porn sites, because honey, you don’t have anything to offer that anyone here would be interested in.Now a lot of the emails I got over the week end seemed to think its cool that I live in long-term relationship with my partner Debbie and ar Read more:Dating
A Lesbian Fashion Analysis: Girl, you what to look like this Why? 2007-11-10 02:54:00 As Lesbiatopias Sexpert I get hundreds of messages and emails per week. Well hundreds might be a slight exaggeration, but I do get a lot and I read them all, but I can't always respond the way I'd like.This week in addition to the regular assortment e-mails requesting tips and information about all manner of lesbian bedroom topics, for some reason I got numerous fashion questions from a few of our readers, most asking me about the style elements that go into the make up of a lesbian surfer mom fashion look.Now I have no clue why anyone would write asking me questions about fashion, because it’s not a topic that I can ever remember expounding on here. I also found it a bit perplexing why any reader who say she is interested in fashion, would be interested in looking like a lesbian surf mom because in my opinion lesbian surf moms, to paraphrase what The Cookie Monster from Sesame Street said in the opening video, are concepts that tend to be one of those things that is not like the o Read more:Fashion
, Analysis
I'm a stay at home surf mom 2007-11-20 01:00:00 One of my true joys in this world is being the stay at home mom to my twinsBut often hear “oh, that must be so nice” or “aren’t you lucky” and the best of all, “I would love not to work”.As a matter of fact it’s wonderful to be home with my children and I do consider myself extremely lucky. But this luck does not come without a lot of sacrifice and a lot of hard work.Salary.com has estimated that a fair wage for the representative stay-at-home mom should be well over $90,000 for performing all of her daily tasks but being a stay-at-home parent means in actuality you receive no salary, while being on duty or at least on call 24 hours a day, with no hope of raises, no sick days and not much adult interaction. I don't get nearly as much girl talk as I used to, I don’t get to go out with my buds on Friday and Saturday nights, I can’t go surfing with my crew anytime the waves are good and there is not much time for ‘me’, but I do find some time for me and my small d
amuse you?? 2007-11-19 15:16:00 -dubbsThis morning, my super-fantastic, patient, and non-demanding editor (who I also proudly call my friend in "real life") kindly asks me via IM if I have anything "funny" in the works.I'm recovering from my 26th birthday and I have my period.Neither of these things are funny.And it's Monday.Too much cake...Make a Lesbian Fashion StatementShop at theTags: birthday, humor, mondays, periods, writing
AOL and the Death of QueerSighted 2007-11-18 12:15:00 As you may or may not know, I was a blogger for QueerSighted.com for the last 6 months. That was, until AOL decided to shut-down QueerSighted for budget cuts and other ridiculous reasons that were not clearly explained to the writers. It was a sad day for us, especially knowing that this highly successful window of visibility for the GLBT community was going to be no more. Fortunately, one of the QS bloggers has decided to speak up about the entire situation. Richard Rothstein, of the blog Proceed At Your Own Risk has written an incredible editorial, which will be excerpted as part of a larger news story and editorial in The Advocate to be released on Tuesday, November 20. Richard was nice enough to let me share his story with the readers of Lesbiatopia and I feel that it is important that people are aware of the whole situation.AOL AND THE DEATH OF QUEERSIGHTED- Richard RothsteinKennyAlmost a year ago I fell in love with Kenneth Hill (Pictured above), one of AOL's top queers. Un
A Holiday gift idea for the Lesbian who has everything 2007-11-16 07:34:00 As we all well know the Christmas shopping season is upon us; Thanksgiving is next Thursday and as of today you only have 39 shopping days left.I love to Christmas shop and I will go to great lengths to find everyone on my list that ideal gift. Christmas shopping has always been a big part of the season for me; I actually enjoy getting out and spending hours in stores looking for those perfect present and I really like to put some thought and uniqueness into my gifts. I think all that know me have come to look forward to my well thought out presents.But I have a couple of lesbian friends that at times can be very difficult to buy for as the bitches seem to have everything already and I am sure all of you out there have friends like this. So why don’t you do what I’m doing this season and give the more discerning lesbian friends on your list a gift that is sure to bring a smile to their lips and hours of enjoyment.Give them This:The Cunt Coloring Book by Tee Corinne, available at Read more:Holiday
And Now, For the Strange and Unusual: Prehistoric Lesbian Threeway Sex 2007-11-24 10:10:00 Here at Lesbaitopia it is the policy of our editor in chief that we strive to bring our readers good quality lesbian humor, articles and information, but sometimes Renee is not around. And at those times we head right for the toilet to get our material to post here…Now this being one of those days that our fearless leader is away, I could not resist posting this extremely weird and somewhat perverted video for the benefit of our more warped readers. So without further adieu, I give you a prehistoric lesbian threeway sex video… Better watch it fast before the boss gets back and makes me take it down.Prehistoric
Threesome - Watch more free videosMake a Lesbian Fashion StatementShop at theTags: prehistoric lesbian threeway sex video, Strange
and Unusual
The Secret of Happiness 2007-11-24 08:32:00 Till I had you I didn't knowThat I was missing outHad to grow up and see the worldThrough different shades of doubtGive me one more chance to dream againOne more chance to feel againThrough your young heartIf only for one day let me try~ Gloria Estesfan, Christmas through your eyesAnd the little child shall lead them.~ Isaiah 11:6It’s early on a Saturday morning here at the beach shack; its cool outside this morning and fall has without question arrived in The Outer Banks of North Carolina. My Thanksgiving was a good one; I got to spend the day with everyone I love and yesterday Debs, the girls and I went up to Norfolk to see her parents and to join the crowds of crazies in the Malls to begin our holiday shopping.That beyond doubt got me into a holiday sprint because this year Halie and Kyma do seem they are old enough to understand at least in part that there is something special about this time of year; I could tell by the wonderment on their faces as we shopped yesterday they wer
Wanna find out if you have gay babies? 2007-11-23 15:40:00 I know we all get some pretty weird offers that come uninvited to our E-Mail in boxes.(Click below for complete details)I’ve had the honourable Bimbo Iwanascrewu, the former President of the Republic of Numbrainbia, E- Mail me before to offer to give me 300k if he could have use of my bank account for a couple of days and I know where I can get all of the cheap Viagra I can use.I’ve had hot Russian Chicks offer to date me and proposition to do all manner of naughtiness to me if I would only E-Mail them my credit Card Number…But this has to be one of the best scams offers I’ve yet to see… These nice people, knowing I am a concerned mother, offered to tell me if Halie and Kyma are going to be gay.And all I have to do is send them 20 bucks, each, so I could find out....That right for only 20 buck these nice folks will tell me if Halie and Kyma are going to be gay and all I have to do is have the girls lick this paper and send a little baby slobber.The instructions for thi
Happy Thanksgiving!! 2007-11-22 12:07:00 Happy Thanksgiving
- from the writers of Lesbiatopia, and the cast of Sesame Street!Make a Lesbian Fashion StatementShop at the Read more:Happy
Happy Turkey Day! 2007-11-22 09:55:00 Here's hoping that wherever you are, and whomever you are celebrating with...You remember to eat dessert first.Always eat dessert first.That way you know you have room for it.For more helpful "how to gain a million pounds during a holiday meal" tips, feel free to contact me.I am experienced and come with references and a photo of my fat ass.Cheers!ps. I'm more thankful for my girlfriend, my friends and my family than I have ever been.Ever.pss. I'm also truly thankful for my amazing online network of blogging friends - ya'll rock! Thanks for reading and for commenting.now where's that dessert....Make a Lesbian Fashion StatementShop at theTags: Thanksgiving; thankful; holiday humor Read more:Happy
, Turkey
Wilde about Olivia 2007-11-21 13:05:00 If you remember back to Season 2 of The OC, which was pretty much the only season I ever watched, there was a small plot twist that featured Mischa Barton's character developing a crush and even entering into a relationship with another girl. This hot blonde rocker chick (who I had never seen before) was pretty much the only reason why I watched The OC in the first place and let me tell ya, she was the hottest thing I'd seen on TV in a while. Now, normally I don't go ga-ga over girls on the big screen. To me, a girl's brains are usually the sexiest, but there was something about this new girl that made me feel like a 13-year-old at a Good Charlotte concert. I found out her name was OliviaWilde
and I had never seen her before. Who was she? Where did she come from? Was she going to be the hot new face in Hollywood? I had to know!Unfortunately, The OC got lame as most of those types of shows do, and Olivia was written out of the script when Mischa Barton's character decided
Our Baby Daddy 2007-11-21 08:41:00 April and I spent several hours this weekend contemplating our baby daddy.Who knew frozen sperm came with so many options...Prior to our search, we narrowed down our criteria:1) Dude has to have some brains. Especially since I'll be the carrier and no child should ever start life with me being the smarter of the two genetic providers.2) He should have a baby picture on file that makes us go "awwww," instead of "ooooh, bless his heart." Especially since the sperm bank is gonna charge us $50 to see his picture. 3) He has to be donating for the right reasons (or at least be smart enough to say he is). Anyone who answers the question of "Why are you donating?" with "I need beer money" is gonna have to set up shop in someone else's womb.4) Our baby daddy should have a healthy family and be telling the truth when he reports that mom doesn't do heroin and pappy wasn't a drunk.5) He's gonna have to be an "open donor" which means he agrees to keep his information on file should our kid dec Read more:Daddy
X-TREME dating!! 2007-11-20 12:21:00 -dubbsI was recently speaking with a friend who wanted an idea for a place for a first date. They needed a place with plenty of alone time together, so they could get to know each other. Being the deep, philosophical type of person I am, I asked the most important question, "Well, how much do you want to know?"And then I winked at her and she said, "Teach me, professor!"So we took the rotating bookcase to the stairwell, and down into the laboratory. I put on my spectacles and my lab coat, and I summoned her over to the chalkboard.I drew this:"What is it?" she asked with a puzzled look,"A parabola grasshopper, but I was only a B- Calculus student. No! This here drawing represents the A+ I got in FUN! You must take your date...to the amusement park!! See that X at the top? That's the apex of fun on the rollercoaster of LOVE!"She still looked confused, so I took off my lab coat and glasses and sat down in the leather barca lounger with my pipe and a nip of tobacco.The amusement park beca
The Zero Mystery 2007-11-30 11:59:00 The Coca Cola Company recently introduced it’s newest product, “Coke Zero”, which is the other calorie-free line of soda that is NOT Diet Coke and also Coca Cola’s biggest marketing campaign, to date. Now my biggest question to you, to myself and to the Coca Cola company is: what’s the difference and why Coke Zero? I’ve never really been a fan of Diet Coke, but I figured I’d give this new Coke Zero stuff a whirl, and sure enough, it tastes exactly the same to me. Then I started to scratch my head and think; what if this Coke Zero product was merely a ploy by the Coca Cola company to market the EXACT same formula as Diet Coke, only under a different name. It’s really quiet genius if you think about it. I mean, there are those die-hard coke fans out there that refuse to drink anything but good old Coca Cola classic. To give them a diet coke would be like holding them down and dumping a vial of poison down their throats. BUT, maybe this new fancy schmancy Coke Read more:Mystery
FRIDAY MORNING JOKES!! 2007-11-30 11:40:00 -yubba dubba doo!A man walked into a bar and asked the bartender, "Hey, have you heard the latest Pollack joke?"The bartender replied, coldly, "No. And I'll have you know I'm Polish.""That's O.K.," said the man, "I'll talk slow."And now for the grand finale....And I'm a bit Polish myself, so it's ok cuz you're allowed to make fun of what you are. Have a nice day! Make a Lesbian Fashion StatementShop at theRoses are red, violets are blue, please leave your comment, after your reading is thru.
Fun L Word Parodies 2007-11-29 17:29:00 Hello friends! As you all know the L Word season premiere is right around the corner and being that I am the official L Word specialist I wanted to do a little research to see what we had in store for ourselves this year. On my quest for some dirt I just happened to stumble upon some parodies on the L Word that I thought were pure genius. I hope you all enjoy these as much as I have. This first parody is of the L Word theme song titled The F Word. These chicks did a great job putting this together. Please note the lesbian flailing at the bowling ally as well as the perfect aloof Jenny impersonation. The F Word This second parody I found is not about the show itself but of the creator and producer of the L Word the always self promoting Ilene Chaiken. I think we all can agree that Ilene is on camera a little too much and can be a little creepy (behind her back I call her Ilene Chaiken-stein). The Ilene Chaiken Parody The third parody I found was something
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