Owner: My Mom Named Me After An Actor: Cary Smith's Blog URL:http://carysmithrants.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sat, 16 Aug 2008 18:33:09 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Cary Smith's the name, and yes my mom was a huge Cary Grant fan, so naturally she should name her son after her favorite movie star. I used to get mad at my name, that is, until people would tell me that I hate America (which I don't feel, which Site statistics:Click here
Michael Phelps Is Half Dolphin 2008-08-15 15:20:00 Michael Phelps
' mom had sex with a Dolphin
. Half Dolphin, half human = Olympic dominance. So who's the mythologizer out there that is going to right this tale of the half human/half Dolphin swimming God? Read more:Michael
Grammar On My Page (A Realist Ranter): An Apology From Cary Smith 2008-08-15 15:11:00 I'm apologizing to the ultra serious. I definitely am not a perfectionist, and I'm only one man doing this, so there is going to be some minor errors in punctuation and grammar. Is there blog editors to hire? Let me know if there is, 'cause I'll get in contact with one. Also I must say that with the errors it's almost an artistic decision on my part to stay within the realm of the realism genre Read more:Apology
, Grammar
, Realist
, Smith
Laughing At A Comedy Club 2008-08-14 15:09:00 The last time I was at a comedy club was a week ago in my hometown of San Jose, CA. And while watching the show at the SJ Improv (gotta give a shout out to a local club) I noticed something that threw me off. And I didn't just notice this something with one individual, I noticed it in waves, it was like an epidemic.What I had noticed was that people in the club would be laughing and enjoying the Read more:Comedy
, Laughing
Short, Short Story by Victer (A fan of the blog) 2008-08-12 01:58:00 Olympic Inspired SprinterBy VicterBy six the morning of the 100 meter dash, Steve was up, dressed, prepared and ready to run for his country. After eating a healthy runners breakfast Steve was headed to his press runs for Q&A where he would be for an hour then it would be off to the track to warm up for his big run. At the warm up track Steve and his coach went over calming techniques fo Read more:Short
It's 'cause Christina Aguilera was the only one with talent 2008-08-08 13:59:00 I don't know why, but the start of the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, China got me thinking about ChristinaAguilera
and the women pop stars of the late 90s and early 00s. Maybe it's also because the NFL season is about to begin, so I thought of Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. Who knows really, my mind works in mysterious ways, mysteriousness which I never really question, I just fart out that my
Living Underneath A Meth Head 2008-08-06 14:04:00 This is a little tale of why I loved so much to live below a Meth Head. It was late and my apartment complex was buzzing with people who hadn't been outside for 2 weeks. I got into my apartment, and once again the lady above me was walking around quickly and nervously. Back and forth she would go, almost every other night she would engage in this Meth Head activity. So I finally decided to ann Read more:Living
, Underneath
Too Fat For Execution 2008-08-05 16:26:00 you read the article -- need I say more? I can say from this, two things:1) We now know what other death row inmates are currently working on; getting really fat.2) How the hell does a man in prison get that fat? Aren't they supplying these inmates with prison food, which I heard is suppose to be one notch above airline food? Read more:Execution
Crazy Hippies On The Loose In Santa Cruz 2008-08-04 14:00:00 is a brilliant idea by some brilliant minds: Blow up someones car, try to kill him, use that same violence that he used on the animals you think you're saving; equals = idea genius. And that is because these people (mostly white Americans, probably dissidents of German ancestors) try and be, through some fantasy, made up ideal in their head of what they believe a Native American, or a British g Read more:Crazy
, Hippies
, Loose
, Santa
, Santa Cruz
Studying in College 2008-07-31 15:31:00 Really if you're a human being it is nearly impossible to remember most of the stuff you study in college. You may be able to remember it for a test, but most likely you're not going to remember afterwards, and I include mostly myself in this, and feel free to include yourself too.You get to a point where you realize you really have to have no life to memorize and to be able to remember all those Read more:College
Modern Faucets and People's Madness of Dress to Impress 2008-07-30 15:52:00 I just don't understand a lot of the time this modern normalcy that we must call normal, because some of it is pure madness, especially when it happens to me, or I happen to encounter it. So there I am walking into this bathroom for the first time. The people had just remodeled their bathrooms, and they were eager to show it off to everyone they knew. And everyone is saying, "Oh, yes, that Read more:Impress
, Madness
, Modern
Cab Driver Job 2008-07-29 15:06:00 I was working as a cab driver for a day and the manager gave me a map of the city I was working in, and he looked at me and said, "Here kid, just study this thing and you'll have it all down by tomorrow. You'll know the streets, the back roads, shortcuts, and all that good stuff. You start tomorrow." So I studied the map that entire day, and when I got in the cab and started to drive I fou Read more:Driver
Words To God Upon Death 2008-07-28 14:22:00 Uh...so, hey, what's up? A lot is, yeah I can imagine. Just one question and comment. So, is that whole thing I just went through some sick joke you devised? 'Cause if it is I'm not laughing. Read more:Words
Disability Act 2008-07-24 14:05:00 won't like this, businesses will not like it, because it'll be inconvenient for the regular people, as it'll take spots, and spaces away, creating less, which would mean having to wait, or making it more crowded for the regular people. Businesses won't like it because it'll cost money, and in the long run take money away. I mean I hate to sound like a goofball, but let's be honest, and think li Read more:Disability
Being From San Jose, CA 2008-07-23 19:18:00 No one knows where San Jose
, CA is. I'm now 18/20 when introducing myself as being from San Jose, CA, where 18 people have said, "Where's that?" So people just stop telling people you're from San Jose, CA. Just give in and say San Francisco, and if they say, "Oh, cool, what part?" Say, "Oh the part that's about 50 miles away." Or if you just want the person to go away say, "The Bay Area." If yo
If You Can't Grow A Beard, Don't Be A Mass Criminal 2008-07-22 13:23:00 could never be, or be anything like this man, and those like him. Simply because my face is incapable of growing a full-face-set-beard. So, officers of all ranks know that I am not dabbling in crime, because the one time I was arrested, and interrogated I turned to the investigators and said, "Criminal
? Look at my face. Do you really think this face is capable of growing a beard? That's righ
Those Who Tuck Satan In At Night 2008-07-16 20:24:00 Last night I happened to see Jerry Springer on America's Got Talent (and yes, that means, because I was watching that show, that I also tuck Satan
in at night). I thought it odd that Springer was on there, and it got me thinking. Thinking that it's time for Jerry himself, to be on The Jerry Springer Show. I'll host the show for this one. The title of the show: Whore celebrities Who Tuck Satan Read more:Night
Damn Thee Characters Katherine Heigl 2008-07-15 18:58:00 Katherine Heigl is knocking her summer hit Knocked Up for being "a little sexist. “It paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as goofy, fun-loving guys,” the actress — who just turned 29— tells January's Vanity Fair. “It was hard for me to love the movie,” she says, even though the comedy elevated her asking price from $300,000 to $6 million for her Read more:Characters
, Katherine
Jacuzzi Trouble 2008-07-14 01:55:00 I can no longer go in a jacuzzi. Let me explain (as I'm sure you're wondering who the hell would ever deny a relaxing night in a jacuzzi). Several nights ago I was invited to a jacuzzi party somewhere in Montana. I had traveled from where ever it was that I had been at the time I received the jacuzzi party invitation. It was quite a long travel. But I felt it worth the distance (even with hi Read more:Trouble
Giant Billboards: Stop Assuming We're Dumb 2008-07-11 16:55:00 Do people really need these big billboards to be reminded of something? And isn't it insulting that they assume we're so retarded that they need to make the billboards giant sized, or is it just me? To me what they're really saying, with these giant sized billboards, is that here comes our giant sized, douchey assumptions that you people (including me) are giantly retarded. They can't Read more:Billboards
Let The Mountain Lion Stand In Line For The Food Court 2008-09-04 15:10:00 mountain lion was spotted near Capitola Mall in Santa Cruz County, CA. The mountain lion was seen roaming and traversing by the food court within the mall. Mountain
lions are hungrier then ever, and this is often a cruel world where not everyone's hunger demands are met (of course it is possible that everyone (including animals) and could be fed, but then if that were the case there would be no Read more:Court
, Stand
Cambridge Finds A Way To Be In-Touch: Through Soap Operas 2008-09-03 15:49:00 University wants to recruit the best and brightest students around. They want to do this no matter what background a person has, and so they want to have TV spots on British soap operas. Cambridge
University in their out-reach to seem less elitist, and more in reach to all backgrounds wants their University mentioned on soap operas. I see what the administrators at the University are thinking.
Science 2008-08-27 13:59:00 we discover more and more explanations for the mysteries science seeks to solve I think to myself how come the answers seem to always be so simple. And why do we try and confuse ourselves so much or let others confuse us? And usually the one's who we think we're letting confuse us are not those one's. Am I a confuser (: Read more:Science
Desperate, Annoying Women 2008-08-26 21:37:00 Do you ever notice when you sleep with a woman you never wanted to sleep with that you end up with some weird skin rash? As if when your two skins contacted something really fucked up occurred. And you suspected this would happen because you were never attracted to the girl, you felt nothing for her, and you tried nicely and subtly to tell her just that. But she's so desperate that she continue Read more:Annoying
, Desperate
, Women
To The IOC Chief pt.2: My Apology 2008-08-22 17:37:00 I apologize for my pt. 1 post. It's all in fun and you have a tough job, but leave the kid alone. He'll figure things out. Read more:Apology
, Chief
SJ Mercury Asks: Who's To Blame For Smith's Demise? 2008-08-21 16:46:00 's looking more and more like J.T. O'Sullivan will be the starting QB at the start of the season for the SF 49ers. Sullivan, a Mike Martz product, and Alex Smith
, who is apparently not learning the offense to well, are the two front runners for the starting gig. The SJ Mercury
asks who's to blame? Smith, injuries, or The 49ers?Smith had his best season under offensive coordinator Norv Turner, but Read more:Blame
, Demise
To IOC Chief: 2008-08-21 13:07:00 Robbe, president of the IOC, squeaked his pretentious, what I guess to be a moralistic squirm about recent 100M and 200m winner Usain Bolt. Robbe says Bolt should've showed more respect for his other competitors by, and I quote him here, "...by tapping the other competitors on the shoulder immediately after the finish." This is suppose to be a voice of reason, of morals and decency? This guy i Read more:Chief
Thankin' International Basketball Teams For Giving The U.S.A A Nice Kick In The Ass: Does Any Team Have A Chance? 2008-08-19 13:31:00 With the U.S. men's basketball team heading into their Quarterfinal final match against Australia, and coming away with wins in the Preliminary round that looked like: USA 101 China 70. USA 97 Angola 76. USA 92 Greece 69. USA 119 Spain 82. USA 106 Germany 57. With wins like that will any of these remaining teams that the USA is slated or could potentially play have any shot of making a game i Read more:Basketball
, Giving
, International
We're So Close 2008-08-19 13:01:00 As normal people we really can't help but laugh when we see a retard (now, now offended to easily people, hear me out), because as you're (or as I'm) walking by a retard either on the street, or because you went to a Special Education class to feel better about yourself, you're saying to yourself, "Goddamn, I sure am close to that. I mean I'm about 2% away from that." We are all so close to that Read more:Close
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