Owner: MeatPaddy.com URL:http://meatpaddy.com Join Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2007 22:45:52 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A personal blog of an Australian male that'll make you laugh, cry, and shit your pants. Site statistics:Click here
Walks, Wankers… and Randy 2007-03-25 15:39:47 Apart from the fact that everyone in my family now seems to be health-concious thus having me up at 6.15AM for a 7km power-walk through the National Park; and apart from my mum’s embarassing repeated drunken questioning of my Dad’s colleagues - our weekend to Noosa was great.
yes, we’re wankers
look! more wankers!
I was shocked to see so many people up before 7AM. I thought it was ridiculous&hellip
; People always said Australian’s were a little stupid; but I always thought ‘No, it’s just because our money is the colour of Fruit Loops’. Why do people always put on this big act when they’re exercising? Like their lives are perfect, like they’re not struggling for air, like their calves aren’t about to tear into two? And why do so many women jog without bras? It just isn’t cricket. Neither is being overtaken by a sixty plus year old with lipstick rammed down her arse crack who runs past us in the opposite direction fifte Read more:Randy
Download! 2007-03-23 05:46:52 MeatPaddy 1.0 is now available for download by clicking ‘Theme’ Read more:Download
Popping the Wordpress Cherry 2007-03-23 04:19:17 Not only did I produce this theme with broken comments which remained unnoticed until I received emails from Han and Nan (haha…); but I just deleted the post that was here yesterday. Some may say I’m a twat… Others may just look at me, tilt their head and smile.
But basically, this theme will hopefully be available for download next week, and MeatPaddy.com will revert back to the old theme by Jide. For those who haven’t been in a while, this is the theme I worked my arse off creating and is the first (and last) Wordpress
theme I will ever create. It was hell to make! Now off to Queensland! I’ll be back Sunday. Read more:Popping
, Cherry
Exams, Stats and Special Spots 2007-03-22 04:18:52 A while ago, this post stated that after one month of MeatPaddy, I’d had over 5000 visitors and 220 comments. I was absolutely stoked. Today, 26 days later, I’ve had over 10,000 visitors and 440 comments. Naturally I have a rather large smile on my dial.
Today is also the last day I’ll ever have to wear the Steve Irwin uniform to class. I think you really do under-estimate how bad it is… Even when we see our own class-mates in the uniform, we get so angry we attack them where it hurts.
(Shutup. He deserved it). And although my exam block starts tomorrow (lasting until April 4), my family has decided to head up to Noosa (QLD) after my English exam tomorrow and come back Sunday night. Sunshine, beaches, and awesome food. It will be awesome. Tuesday before Hospitality, a mate and I are going to play put-put at Sydney’s best course. Wednesday or Thursday I’ll go the beach. Friday night there’s a 21st to attend and perhaps we’ll have a BBQ t Read more:Stats
, Special
Because Peeing Your Pants Isn’t Fun 2007-03-20 06:06:11 I spent a few minutes browsing this website and I stumbled across some images of interesting urinals. I think they’re absolutely brilliant. It makes going to the bathroom that much more exciting. And I’m sure most girls would be willing to stand, arch and aim if they got to pee in some of the ones featuring on this website!
I think that the second one slightly crosses the line (for some people). I still find it funny, but I find the word ‘peanuts’ funny so that’s really irrelevant. If any of you find it offensive, you could always fuck off? Sorry. That was rude. I am tired. And I’m still really devestated that Nora died on Desperate Housewives last night. She made my Mondays bearable…
Also, you may like to visit this website on prom dresses. I’m guessing that only applies to those of you in America.. but there you go! Read more:Pants
Life Essentials: TV, Mini-Golf, Food 2007-03-27 12:58:22 I was watching Love My Way last night, and I think I’m possibly hooked. I was hooked on The Secret Life of Us, in fact, I spent three hours last night in bed watching some of the first season and am preparing a similar night tonight. But I think I’m becoming a couch potato at the moment - and I’m loving it. I never used to watch TV until this year… The most important year of schooling for me. Shame, but I can’t function unless I get my Grey’s Anatomy fix on Sunday night, my Desperate Housewives / Brothers & Sisters fix on Monday night, Heroes / Prison Break fix on Wednesday night, while making sure time and time again that I’ve seen every episode of Black Books and Will & Grace. Give me some other golden shows to get hooked on!
And it turns out I can’t play mini-golf. Or put-put. Whatever. It was really depressing. Out of three of us, I failed to get a single hole-in-one and I managed to come last in both the Shipwreck and Caves Read more:Essentials
Talking Shit and Earning Dosh 2007-03-28 04:21:09 So it turns out my best mate’s girlfriend doesn’t like me. Never a good thing. She found a note I wrote in his diary.
“I ate out Emma’s arse and now I’m talking shit”
Alright, call me immature, say I deserved it; but I think she’s guilty of having a shit sense of humour. That was grade A material, I just can’t remember where I heard it. What a McDouchebag.
But to make me feel better; and to earn some money; join BlogToProfit.com. It’s a program where you put links in your post. I did some about a week ago, 5 links in 5 posts in 10 days: today I got paid $25 USD. So I think you should ALL sign up today; and put down paddyrs@gmail.com as your referrer; it’ll earn me money aswell I think! (I hope).
Anyway, I think I’ll visit my nearest Lamborghini dealer, buy a car, and run her over. I hope my mate doesn’t hate me after that! Read more:Talking
, Earning
Foul. 2007-03-30 00:00:19 Usually the purpose of the posts you’ll see at this website are to entertain, to cause thought and deep pondering. The new trend I will begin (starting with this post) will have the purpose of seeing how many visitors I can cause to upchuck.
Perhaps if he had some senior care in New York City then he wouldn’t be spewing pus out of his armpit. (I hope none of you read ahead before watching the video; I’d hate to turn you off watching it!)
Have a wonderful day everyone! (and how good was that link insertion!)
Woopsy Daisy 2007-03-29 05:06:05 OK, so I had a few people sign up to BlogToProfit - but I gave them all the regular address. I signed up with ph.BlogToProfit.com so heaps of people are getting messages saying my email address cannot be recognized! Argh! I think I just potentially lost a fair bit of possible money! But if any of you are going to sign up, use the ‘ph’ site, or just put my email address in the message field! Thanks.
As for the friendship with my mate: I’m 100% certain his girlfriend’s hatred of me won’t change a thing. It’s actually amusing. Afterall, there are a few comments in my diary he’s written about Chloe - so fair is fair.
And how my mum can justify spending $38 on mushrooms, avocado, sourdough toast and two coffees and some take-away pasta is beyond me. Although it was a damn good brunch. And the pasta for dinner will be damn good too. I suppose that’s what you get for living on the North Shore… All we need is a Lexus 4WD and I’ll n Read more:Daisy
Coincidence? Egg-Zachary! 2007-03-31 06:49:31 Just so happens, that after my last post about how much I like lights (shutup, I don’t tease you about your fetishes); four of the lights in our house blew. I was going to offer to help replace them, but then I thought; “I don’t know how”.
And then I realised, “holy shit, I can’t replace a light, and I can’t even cook a poached egg and I’m supposed to be living out of home by this time next year!”. I opened up Woman’s Weekly Basic Cooking Book and flipped through to the section where it said “eggs”. I’m surprised how basic it actually goes. I found it difficult to believe people had trouble frying eggs, but alas - some are not as gifted as others.
How beautiful is my perfect poached egg on toast. Although my milf keeps telling me white bread is the devil incarnate, I enjoyed it to that stage where you leg starts trembling and you get that bizarre rise in your pants.
My milf then told me it was too small, so Read more:Coincidence
, Zachary
Let There Be Light 2007-03-30 08:52:40 Four people saying ‘gross’ and ‘ew’ was enough for me. I just wish that George Lindemann Jr. visited this site. I know he likes that sort of stuff…
But I’ve been doing some browsing lately. Online. What else do you do during exams? And I’ve found some awesome lights. Sticky Lamps, designed by Chris Kabel are pretty dandy, but perhaps a purchase for when I’ve got my own place… But I found these Sun Jars designed by Tobias Wong which I think would be awesome presents!
Sticky Lamps by Chris Kabel
I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited about lights in my life… I wonder if you can tell I haven’t seen my mates in a whole week: I’ve become a loser! But I’ve regained so much sleep. I feel rejuvenated and my hair feels silky and smooth.
And I closed my bank account today. Hurrah!
PS. Joey’s site ThatGeekBoy.com has a very interesting article on the language of kissing! I just realised I was tel
Sunday, Bloody Sunday 2007-04-01 09:23:26 I love Sunday
s. I mean real Sundays. Sundays like today. Where I arrive home in with a slight hangover to find my family cooking a big breakfast. Bacon and eggs, the lot. Where everyone is reading the Sunday paper. Where me and that man who keeps calling me his son play tennis. …and I win. Where our friends give us a bag of limes. Just because it’s Sunday. And it makes it that much better that I don’t have to be anywhere tomorrow.
Todays Trivia and sponsored link… Did you know that Naples cosmetic surgery is actually in Florida? Not Naples? Wow, gee, heck, cripes! Our world really is… earth… ish.
After advice from a few people, I’ve finally gotten “That Blurry Effect” I’ve been after… Although the advice from everyone didn’t help a bit. Unfortunately my camera won’t let me disable or turn off the auto-focus, so with macro and no flash, I’ve managed to get some rivetting shots of some highlighters.
Read more:Bloody Sunday
Scrapblog 2007-04-03 02:00:34 I found this nifty little website called Scrapblog on this website last night and I think it’s a hit! I forget what I read, but it’s apparently very recent (correct me if I’m wrong). It’s got a lot of… moving things similar to those fucking annoying Snap preview things; but it was a pretty impressive tool to build with.
That’s what she said….
Anyway, this post has actually been programmed to be published at 11AM EST today while I’m preparing for my business exam. Cram session begins right now. If only I’d studied search engine reputation management things wouldn’t be so stressful. I know it has nothing to do with my exam but I’m getting paid!
Procrsa..procrsati…procistantaa.. ah fuck it 2007-04-02 07:43:00
I am really doing anything I can besides studying&hellip
; Make the pain go away. My mutha fucker is shirty too. I ate all her mushrooms and avocados. Did you know business man and avocado are the same word in French? Très bizarre!
I really hope she doesn’t burn me with her giant bunsen burner again. I’m sick of visiting the San Jose plastic surgeons every time she gets gnarky.
Bankers are Wankers 2007-04-02 04:01:25 So a few days ago I closed my bank account. I never went into detail, but it was a bizarre experience. After waiting in the ‘Customer Service - We Care’ line for fifteen minutes, I get some old bird to serve me who’s squinting at the computer in a fantastically bogan accent screaming;
“Why do all computers hate me?! I swear they’re out to get me!”
Awesome. I got the fruit of the group. After she finally gets to me, she has a beaming smile which drops as soon as I tell her;
“I’m here to close my account”
“Oh. Can I ask whyyyyyy?”
“Another bank…”
“Oh. Can I ask whyyyyyy?” (she’s about to cry)
“Business, my father.. Just.. I don’t know”
“Oh. Could I have done anything better for you?” (Jesus woman just close it)
“No.. it’s just.. I just want to close it”
“Oh. OK! Well thats done.. Have a nice day!” (beaming smile again….) Read more:Bankers
How Often Do You Douche? 2007-04-03 14:26:11 Don’t be disgusting.. I’m just practicing for my French tomorrow. But really; how often do you shower? Usually I’ll have my morning ‘wake-the-fuck-up’ shower which I have trouble functioning without. Then I have my ‘wash-the-hooker-spit-away’ shower at night because I hate going to bed feeling dirty, and having a pungent odour. But today was almost jumper worthy. And I only got up about 12 hours ago and didn’t do a lot of physical activity… I’m going all rebellious today. I’m gonna skip a shower….
Apparently that’s not abnormal though. Many of my mates only shower once a day. Which I think is foul considering the shit we usually do during the course of a day. As if wrestling down corridors and being crammed into halls isn’t enough to get you smelling funky. I’ve got one mate, who always seems to smell. I can’t tell him. He really stinks. In fact, back in the day before I could drive, (a wh Read more:Often
, Douche
Easter and Money - A Perfect Combination 2007-04-06 06:42:04 Has anyone else noticed that everyone gets the meaning of Easter
completely wrong? It’s actually the same with Christmas aswell, but that’s not as relevant right now. I was at work yesterday which was also the official last day of school. Naturally all the mothers brought their runts in for cakes and gelato while they sipped on their lattés with their perfectly clean 4WDs outside that have never seen a dirt road. Everyone was in a good mood, everyone knew each other. Naturally, it sickened me.
But as each little group left, the mothers would say to their friends’ children things like “Have a nice Easter! I hope you get lots of chocolate!” - because that’s clearly what it’s all about… It’s not that I’m religious, because I’m not. I still find it hillarious to set people’s MySpace religions to things like Wiccan, Mormon, Buddhist when they’re not. Religion just doesn’t mean much to me. But I don’t Read more:Money
, Perfect
, Combination
Oh, Snap! 2007-04-05 03:30:48 I’m sorry to those of you who use this new fandangle technology called ‘Snap’; but I find it both useless, and extremely irritating. It breaks my heart to see a well designed website with awesome content be ruined with a box showing a picture of a website I’ll see three seconds later anyway. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s these things below that appear with a screenshot of every bloody linked page when you hover:
Foul. And I hate when people say, “Oh, Snap!” too. And I hate the card game ’snap’. Everyone cheats. And I hate ‘bend and snap!’. And I’m not really a fan of chihuahuas either. Do any of you have this ’snap’ crap on your websites? Or do any of you have chihuahuas?
I’ll return your comments from the last 3 posts soon enough; I’m just very lazy. I loved reading how often you all shower and brush your teeth though ahah, and Amanda, it was great knowing tha
I Touched His Wii… 2007-04-06 16:06:21 Tom and Kate came over tonight for a few bevvies and thai takeaway. I couldn’t help it. I ate chicken&hellip
; But I made up for it by eating some beef so it’s OK. But the fun of the night wasn’t eating the forbidden foods, it was playing tennis on Tom’s Nintendo Wii
. I think I’m hooked. I’ve never been into video games, and I don’t see how anyone could justify spending $400 on anything video-game related; but it was pretty impressive! And I swear I almost worked up a sweat.
I’m absolutely buggered. The more sleep I get, the more tired I get! I’ve been having twelve hour sleeps and although I’m loving them, I’m.. I don’t know I just know it’s not good! Now I know how hygienic you all are, how much sleep do you all get every night? Most days I’ll only get like seven… So this is bizarre.
But I’m on holidays! Read more:Touched
Sushi to be. 2007-04-09 04:52:58 Currently about to head over to Kate’s to make sushi. I told her I knew how… Give me some tips! I’ve got no idea! Kate’s already picked up a bamboo matt, but its up to me from here-on-in.
PS. Eleven and a half hour sleep. Awesome. Read more:Sushi
MeatPaddy No More 2007-04-10 15:14:10 I’ve given up. I’ve tried contacting my host on all her contact emails, through all the forms on her numerous websites, through the help and support forms and addresses of both her and her business partner through their hosting company website. I’ve even tried commenting on her site… Straight into moderation. I thought after spending $80 with their company (4 seperate accounts) that transferring my domain meatpaddy.com to me from their namecheap account to mine (which is simple and free) would be done immediately and with a smile; but even a reply is too much! My first unreplied email would’ve been sent possibly even last year; but I’ve given up!
MeatPaddy.com is in its last days as ‘my website’.
Don’t worry, you can keep coming here: you’ll be transferred when its up and ready. The new domain isn’t as good or personal, but it’ll do until ‘meatpaddy.com’ expires and I can buy it myself.
Depressing for
Extra Fancy 2007-04-09 15:09:41 So before our little expedition to the supermarket, we visited a mate of ours to see her new dog, Smoosh. Seven weeks old and possibly the cutest little runt of a thing I’ve ever seen. It only stays awake for fifteen minutes at a time, and is probably the size of a large tub of butter. She had me a hello.
I had to admit to Kate I had no idea what I was doing, so my trip to the supermarket was a lot easier. And thanks to Amanda for your tips on rice - I actually made an effort to get the extra fancy stuff..:
I whipped up a frypan of teriyaki chicken while Kate prepared some avocado, cucumber and spread our extra fancy rice onto the seaweed. The rice was the perfect texture, but we could’ve improved our rolling techniques and wasabi doses.
Average, probably a five out of ten, but a success all the same.
I think I may have to change domains. I was quite close to exceeding my bandwidth last month, and although this month is a littler slower, I’m going to have to move Read more:Extra
, Fancy
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