Owner: Motherwise Cracks - Parenting Humor URL:http://motherwise.us/cracks Join Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2007 13:15:00 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Parenting humor featuring the wit and wisdom brought on by motherhood by Mary Fagan. Site statistics:Click here
No Pussyfooting Around 2008-03-06 07:29:26 Over the past 2 weeks, the carpenter ants in the kitchen and master bathroom were gross and bothersome. I was annoyed that my perpetual ask into the husband to put the ant stuff out (like we do each spring), he didn’t get around to. I was mad that when I went to do it, he [...]
Ch-ch-ch-changes 2008-03-04 07:44:11 Expectant parents are so cute. They honestly think that their lives won’t change when the new baby comes along. This past weekend I had an entertaining conversation with a daddy-to-be. He went on and on about how he and his wife are still going to do EVERYTHING they did before baby, with the new baby. [...] Read more:changes
Belly Ring Hangup 2008-03-01 13:54:32 I really don’t care what is cool or what is trendy, if it highlights my kids’ parts in a sexy fashion, it’s something they will have to do when they are on their own. Perhaps it is because in my mind a belly ring is way too sexy for my teenager or perhaps because I [...]
20 Signs You’re Avoiding Your Annual Gyno Appointment 2008-02-28 06:12:26 Intense and unnatural attention to laundry, vacuuming, ironing, dirty dishes, plants that need water
Finally calling people on your “to call” list
Avoidance behaviors toward the reminder letter from doctor’s office hanging on the fridge
Compelling need to write out weekly, monthly and quarterly “to do” lists
Actually watching “Must See” TV shows – avoiding medical shows
Home [...] Read more:Annual
Walt’s Dirty Little Secret 2008-03-13 07:46:50 I heard on the news this morning what I have been noticing and saying for a few years now. Families want good movies where they don’t have to worry about exposure to inappropriate talk on the big screen. Duh.
I have the naive notion that people in Hollywood wanted to make money. (Hello. Did they ever [...] Read more:Dirty Little Secret
Do I Sound Stupid To You? 2008-03-10 21:59:22 I dare ask this question (that one would never pose aloud to your children) because I just hosted a blogging carnival where I left specific directions on what type of posts I wanted. It is called the “Family Funnies” carnival and guess what? It’s about funny family and parenting stories. A real shocker.
(FYI - A [...] Read more:Sound
, Stupid
Talking Pictures 2008-03-08 21:26:40 Once again we are snowed in as the word about global warming hasn’t gotten to my part of the the world just yet.
While it was still coming down and the wind was whipping mounds of flakes into dune-like formations around the entrances that I just shoveled a couple of hours ago, the kids and I [...] Read more:Pictures
, Talking
No Pussyfooting Around 2008-03-06 07:29:26 Over the past 2 weeks, the carpenter ants in the kitchen and master bathroom were gross and bothersome. I was annoyed that my perpetual ask into the husband to put the ant stuff out (like we do each spring), he didn’t get around to. I was mad that when I went to do it, he [...]
Ch-ch-ch-changes 2008-03-04 07:44:11 Expectant parents are so cute. They honestly think that their lives won’t change when the new baby comes along. This past weekend I had an entertaining conversation with a daddy-to-be. He went on and on about how he and his wife are still going to do EVERYTHING they did before baby, with the new baby. [...] Read more:changes
Belly Ring Hangup 2008-03-01 13:54:32 I really don’t care what is cool or what is trendy, if it highlights my kids’ parts in a sexy fashion, it’s something they will have to do when they are on their own. Perhaps it is because in my mind a belly ring is way too sexy for my teenager or perhaps because I [...]
It’s Hard to Tell With Prunes 2008-03-15 08:45:11 Does anyone remember the commercial (ages ago) where the little girl is constipated and the mom wonders out loud if 3 prunes is enough, or if 4 is too many? I think it was for some Milk of Magnesia product.
I feel like that mom and a prune. My daughter, who lives away from home now, [...]
Snickers for Nicaraqua 2008-03-17 23:48:38 What were they thinking? I mean the adults advising the kids at school.
My son’s school is collecting clothes for people in Nicaragua, which is really nice. They named the clothing drive something that I can’t get myself to post it here. Let’s just say the first word rhymes with “snickers” and means short pants [...] Read more:Snickers
No Wii Don’t This Easter 2008-03-21 23:29:54 Three days of a few hours of sleep each night spent on a floor with 50 teenagers. Days spent volunteering at a homeless shelter, soup kitchen, and a retirement home for the religious followed by overcooked food and group discussions. Sound hellish?
But someone was looking forward to it for weeks. My son is at a [...] Read more:Easter
, Wii
It’s A Sign 2008-03-25 20:47:56 When we went to pick up my son from his work camp experience, we had to wait for him to get this great “thing” he found when cleaning. His job was “cleaning” at three different locations (soup kitchen, halfway house, retirement home). This shocked me because he is organizationally and hygienically challenged, and wouldn’t know [...]
This Old Dog Still Turning Tricks 2008-03-28 07:43:49 Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? Just this week I learned:
That with the “Elimination Diet” one would be “eliminating” a lot more
This photo on my fridge isn’t of anyone we know. It was in a purchased frame. The kids just thought they were cute. (Like I don’t have enough hanging clutter [...]
And They’re Off (again) 2008-03-31 07:29:46 Another day off of school today. The kids just had a day off for a Superintendent’s Conference day last month, they had a week off in Feb., there’s another week off in two weeks, in addition to the usual Federal holidays. And you know darn well that the day before the week-long holidays are spent [...]
This Is Why I Cuss 2008-04-03 22:53:01 When the phone rings at 11 p.m. your heart starts to race. Like mine is now.
I swear at some point in my mothering career, I gave my daughter the “put enough gas in your car if you are going to be in the city late at night” lesson/rant. She calls to tell me she is [...]
Sweet Deal 2008-04-06 22:47:01 Right down the road is a maple syrup farm and last weekend was Maple Weekend. That’s when the local maple businesses/farms have enough product to sell after collecting over the past weeks or early spring.
My daughter loves maple candy but when we went to get some last week, they were all sold out. I talked [...] Read more:Sweet
Mom’s Best Friend 2008-04-09 20:07:36 I don’t know how I missed it. I understand that the men in the house missed it. They miss everything. But I am usually very observant. And this thing is the size of a grapefruit. How can you miss that?
This Sunday, when the sun finally came out and temperatures ventured above freezing, we decided to [...]
2 Trumps 2 Many 2008-04-12 17:18:20 For some reason, and certainly not anything inherited from me, my kids all like to plan ahead. Way ahead. I myself am the procrastinating type and don’t understand their need for pre-planning. Hence, this weekend’s adventures on the summer job hunt.
While one is employed currently, one has a summer job already lined up, and third [...] Read more:Trumps
April Family Funnies 2008-04-15 07:01:35 The April
edition of the Motherwise FamilyFunnies
are online now so please stop by and enjoy the things that keep moms and dads smiling.
I also made it into the Buffalo News this weekend in an article where I sing the praises of small town life. Check it out here. People in town liked it. I was afraid they would ostacize me. (More than usual.)
Right now I am stressing because [...]
A Bitter Sweet Note 2008-04-17 14:55:55 Today I discovered a way to enhance the quality and quantity of band practice. At first, band practice was touch and go and had a really rough start. Forgotten guitar strap, lyrics, a missing cord to some such thing, etc.
I prodded to get them going as they only have so much time for practice. I got [...] Read more:Bitter
, Sweet
I Don’t Want to Have a Cow 2008-04-21 07:34:25 It’s back to school again and it’s quiet right now as we go from one extreme to another. While some mothers love the sounds of silence, they make me melancholy. (I got my dog the very day my last child started Kindergarten. It was unplanned but I couldn’t take the quiet.)
But it wasn’t the kids [...]
A Cool Blue Rinse 2008-04-24 19:28:19 Last year I got this great stain for my wooden lawn furniture that had an almost translucent bit of color in the stain that still let you see the wood through it. I loved it, but apparently, I was in the minority. They discontinued the product and I had to go looking for something similar.
The [...] Read more:Rinse
The Budding Writer (my strange child) 2008-04-27 15:32:47 For his last birthday, my teen-aged son asked for pads of legal paper. He writes long diatribes on them and then gives them to his English teachers to comment on in their “spare” time - just for fun. (His fun, not theirs.)
Right now, he is sitting in a chair on the canal bank, with a [...] Read more:Budding
, child
, Writer
Lady in Waiting 2008-04-29 06:44:52 My daughter and I played tennis and it was fun. I am better than her. I enjoy it a lot. She got tired way before me. I like that too. Too bad I don’t look like I am in better shape than her.
So at the end of our practice, I ran into someone I know [...] Read more:Waiting
Hot Dog - She’s Out of the Dorm 2008-05-04 20:32:13 It was our community’s yard sale this weekend which is where I cook about 300 hot dogs over a two hour period while trying to talk to everyone I know who sees me. I lose a few dogs on the ground in the process because I can’t talk and operate a tongs at the same [...]
As I Am About To Turn 200… 2008-05-08 07:00:14 Now that I have been blogging for some time and am approaching 200 posts, I have some questions. Perhaps I am a bit late in forming these at this point in time but I am a late bloomer.
What happens when your archives get so long they take up the whole sidebar?
Is this why some blog [...]
Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Lose 2008-05-09 21:23:24 My son, who never wins anything and can’t compete with his “perfect” sisters entered a competition today making precision tools or something I don’t understand. He tries to explain what he does with a lathe and fractions. I shake my head and pretend to get it. Supposedly he did real well but more importantly, he [...] Read more:Sometimes
Picks and Pans 2008-05-12 07:13:10 The girls made breakfast and it was so big we didn’t even want to eat lunch. The wouldn’t let me do a thing. Not even dishes.
Then they made dinner that I got to pick out, and it was so big we could hardly stuff down the dessert. Again, I did nothing, except open gifts.
Post Mother’s [...]
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