Owner: motherbumper URL:http://motherbumper.blogspot.com Join Date: Sat, 24 Mar 2007 18:08:05 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Motherbumper is an attempt at humour in parenting. Someone told her there free coffee and doughnuts here. Please pass the doughnuts. Site statistics:Click here
June Bug 2008-06-16 20:51:00 She may have inherited the musical butt from her dad but she got the bug gene from me. Correction: the hatred of bugs gene from me. Scene: Sand Table on a sunny afternoon last weekWhile digging a new river for her recently created body of water, Gigi encountered a large bug - a June bug to be exact. Over of the sand landscape of Gigi's domain, climbed a stubby and chubby brown beetle. He was w
what nerve 2008-06-18 11:38:00 How dare she does something like this to her mommy.How dare she grows up so fast that her mommy doesn't even have a chance to say goodbye to those disappearing baby days.Where does she get the nerve to she say to me "Mom, I'm not a baby anymore" all while barely grasping the rail of the escalator up to the bus terminal. How dare she make that announcement without my prior knowledge.How dare she a
cancel the Celine tickets 2008-06-23 05:00:00 SB keeps ticking off Gigi by singing the Super Why song "Hip Hip Hooray, the super readers save the day" in a this total "lounge lizard trying to be Wayne Newton" voice. While it makes me laugh and debate throwing my panties at him, Gigi does not care for Vegas-style shows.Who knew? We really do learn something new each day.Hey, Gigi only just realized this past Sunday that I used to be a little Read more:Celine
No title 2008-07-06 22:00:00 It was a great weekend and I'm is too tired to regurgitate anything.Because that is what it would be - regurgitation and you deserve better than that. Unless you are a bird and I don't think I have many bird readers. So no regurgitation for you. Do you feel the love?
you know when you are... 2008-07-03 17:22:00 You know when you are a parent to a preschooler when: a search for a subway token reveals the contents of your pocket include the following items:(1) A piece of threaded bolt-like garbage item that is very VERY important to my daughter and if lost will result in tantrum when not produced upon request. By keeping this particular piece of garbage treasure in my pocket means it will never be request
always a day late and ALWAYS a dollar short for cheese 2008-07-02 13:58:00 Happy Canada Day (which, ahem, happened yesterday)We celebrated in the traditional Canadian fashion. We rode on elephants.OK, she rode on an elephant and I acted like a pageant mom by yelling "OVER HERE GIGI - LOOK AT THE CAMERA! THE MOTHERBUMPIN" CAMERA"After the ride I asked her how it was because YO, I love elephants and never had the chance to ride one but my little two-year old who says "meh
Rescue Cat 2008-06-27 12:29:00 We were at a new playground recently and any fears about Gigi's ability to meet and make new friends were blown right out of the water.I was super shy as a child and pretty much as an adult too but I've learned some techniques to make those scary first moments of meeting - or worse yet, being forced to network - a lot less trauma-inducing.While Gigi shows some signs of being slightly shy in group Read more:Rescue
Warning: don't give your keys to just anyone 2008-06-24 23:02:00 Chag at Cynical Dad was silly enough to lend me the keys to the bloghouse and trust me to keep the vagrants away and plants alive.HA! I know, can you believe it? Dude is a friend though, so I'll try to keep an eye on any strangers I invite back for the quiet little kegger and rave I have planned for tonight.So like I said, I'm over at Cynical Dad's today with a post that works on many metaphysica
weeping over the grease traps 2008-06-24 21:43:00 My grocery store is trying to drive me insane.A common sentiment, I know - but seriously, I think they are out to get me (not paranoid at all). But I'm getting ahead of myself.Today fried chicken was on our minds and in the air so we decided to indulge.BTW, currently - in fact as I type this - I am paying for giving in to the siren call of the glorious fried chicken, by having the most horrid st Read more:grease
all I need is Steve McQueen 2008-07-18 14:55:00 OK, so it's Friday and I'm in San Fran and it's my birthday and my head hurts (for good reason) and I'm so deliriously happy and sad at the same time that my head just might explode. Fer realzs. Like messy alien-in-the-brain-who-needs-to-birth-it's-offspring head explosion. Know what I mean?Anyhow, it's my arfing birthday and every time I look out the window I keep expecting a young Michael Dou Read more:Steve
, McQueen
hump and bump 2008-07-16 08:41:00 I'm actually doing Wordless Wednesday because the only words in my head right now are "aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" and "omgomgomgomg" and "I need to PAAAAAAAAAAACK" and those are kind of boring to read. Plus Gigi is not feeling well and I'm trying not to feel guilty about leaving her while not at 100% though she is being left in totally capable hands.So denial it is!Let me present the original party
what red, white, and scared all over? 2008-07-14 10:46:00 You people crack me up with your comments and suggestions. After contemplating all your ingenious quips on how to wear a strapless dress with a sunburn from hell, I've decided to have SB create a cross hatch design in duct tape on my back and shoulders and I will stand out in the sun until I burn that puppy in like a tattoo. You are such smart, smart people.Perhaps I'll start a trend that will mak
Murphy's Law 2008-07-10 05:00:00 When one purchases a strapless dress for a wee party one might be attending in San Francisco next week, one should remember to do the shoulders with sunscreen before entering the inferno known as the great outdoors.Craptastic, n'est pas? I'm thinking a red marker should fill in the blanks nicely.It doesn't hurt but somewhere in the wind I hear the sound of a hundred dermatologists sharpening thei Read more:Murphy
I've gone straight (well kinda) 2008-07-09 08:14:00 OK, so life has been totally insane for weeks now but in a good way. It has been difficult to post here at motherbumper which is weird because I've been writing my little butt off every spare moment that I can find.What have I been writing about that hasn't been appearing on motherbumper? Well Gigi and I have been all over town doing research for my new job. You read that right: I've gone legit
Henry: Portrait of an Emu 2008-07-08 08:00:00 When I was a kid, a sure sign of summer was the appearance of sunscreen in the bathroom cupboard. Of course back in those days it was SPF 2 or 4 (no joke) and it was greasy like coconut oil but it was better than nothing. And my mom was hardcore, so she would find some 6 or unheard of 8 to slather on her tan-challenged offspring and we only burned 50% of the time. Ah the curse of British blood. Read more:Henry
, Portrait
I figured my retirement plan would involve something like this 2008-08-05 06:59:00 Gigi at this very moment just had one of the biggest revelations of her life and I hope she isn't scarred by her discovery.She was watching her dose of Dora and she suddenly blurted out "HEY, monkeys don't talk".Wow. I didn't see that one coming. What's next I wonder and does anyone want to hazard a guess?Anyhow on with the show.Last Friday at a playground playdate, I was enjoying my day and jus Read more:retirement
, something
talk to the hand 2008-07-31 07:00:00 When it comes to toys, Gigi is pretty much like most kids - she has way too many and it's usually the most annoying toy that is the favourite. You know, the one that creates the biggest headache and teeth-grinding is also the one that warrants a hell hath no fury kind of tantrum if it's misplaced or - gawd forbid - lost forever.Not that I ever hide or "lose" her toys on purpose *ahem*. Because t
Paging Ms. White, your indignation is ready 2008-07-29 06:41:00 Happy Monday!What?It's Tuesday and I haven't posted for a week - what the hell is up with that? And why haven't I talked about Chuck Norris in ages? Questions for the universe to answer because I'm too lazy to figure out on my own.Now that I've broken the awkward silence - or at least the awkward silence in my head, let's get this party started.You know the silence I speak of - the "omg I haven' Read more:Paging
, White
, ready
unpacking: II, electric boogaloo 2008-07-22 17:54:00 unpacking can be found hereFor a city known for earthquakes, the hotel where I stayed in San Francisco certainly took some big chances with light fixtures. I'm sure that a lovely hotel like that has some magical, written-in-blood, long-standing pact with a travelling gypsy clan. A clan who 100 years ago promised the hotel safety in exchange for monthly payments of a hundred dollars, an never-endi
unpacking 2008-07-21 14:36:00 I'm a lousy luggage packer.Is it just me, or does that statement sounds vaguely sexual? Holy cow, if it was something sexual, the statement would also be sad, because I'm admitting that I suck at this peculiar fetish. And that admission of failure in said fetish is amplified beyond being sad (perhaps I could coin the term "super sad") because I have now just stated online that I have a strange f
happy landings 2008-08-21 07:52:00 "This looks like cat food" the little girl announced across the aisle from where Gigi and I sat. "You said it kid" I thought as I pried open the tub of food that came in the box the flight attendant just passed me.Look, I've never claimed to be cultured yet something made me hold my tongue and not agree with her out loud. Damn this growed-up behaviour sh*t.Anyhow, the little girl began to cry so Read more:landings
mediocrity is highly underrated 2008-08-18 07:00:00 Holy cow, I've been quoted over at Blogtations. And guess what - I still find shaving too much of a responsibility. Penguins have it easy man.Go on over and check it out, this place is the total Bartlett's of blogs and gawd knows that Bartlett's saved my illiterate ass so many times back in those undergrad days. I could probably put them in my degree acceptance speech, the speech I was never as
minutiae 2008-08-16 12:00:00 We are away, Gigi and I are with my family.We ate chowder. That's what you do when you are down East. It's the law. You also eat supper. At 5pm. Also the law.You know I can't say the word chowder without thinking of that episode of The Simpsons ("The Boy Who Knew Too Much") where Bart witnesses the murder of the French waiter who "mispronounced" chowder. Oh gawd, somebody stop me, all my cul
wordless wednesday: linky edition 2008-08-13 08:13:00 Words! I keep using WORDS! But wanted to share my love of graffiti so I thought I'd do a Wordless Wednesday post. Found this while riding the rails as a hobo with my sidekick Gigi last week. She's my littlest hobo - though she's not a dog, she does love solving mysteries in under 22 minutes.And like I needed to be writing at another blog, but I am because I love this blog like it's my non-exist Read more:linky
avoiding reality 2008-08-12 11:25:00 Hey, remember the other day when Gigi had a revelation about Boots the monkey and I pondered what dream-shattering revelation would be next? This latest incident proved the kid is on to me already - Santa Claus doesn't even have a fighting chance. And you know that really sucks because I really couldn't wait to screw with my kids head by telling her that a stranger breaks into our house once a ye Read more:reality
City Mouse 2008-08-07 09:02:00 One thing that I still find mind-blowing on a daily basis, is Gigi's ability to tell me about her view of the world and how she thinks this crazy world works. Seriously, that kid makes my head explode by making mah poor poor brains working overtime each and every day. Throw in some over-the-top tantrums that come outta the blue and you've got one momma with a huge head'plosion.Recently she went t Read more:Mouse
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