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  • Scary Mommy blog

    Owner: Scary Mommy
    URL: http://www.scarymommy.com
    Join Date: Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:28:00 -0500
    Rating:0
    Site Description:
    I adore my own children, but can't stand most others. I forge my daughter's signature by closing my eyes and using my left hand. I worship the internet and spend way too much time on it. I swear way too much, never workout and am addicted to die
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Attention, Walmart Shoppers
2008-08-02 17:58:00
As Lily approached her first birthday, we were struggling to make our mortgage payments and the reality of being a stay home mom was quickly becoming an impossibility. Our house was filled with tension as the days went by and our credit card debt climbed. I perused the help wanted ads with tears in my eyes, knowing that I'd be miserable returning to a job. But, Jeff and I were both aware that some
Read more: Walmart

And the winner is...
2008-08-01 15:27:00
Yikes. 353 entries? Crazy, man.And the bucket goes to... Angie(quillysilly) with entry #185.I'll do it again soon and thanks for playing!© SCARY MOMMY 2008
Read more: winner

It's Not Easy Being Green
2008-07-31 23:38:00
I do not want more children.*I despise being pregnant. I am sick constantly. I throw up anytime, anywhere-- sidewalks, stores, cars, front lawns-- I've done it all. I worry about every potential abnormality and complication. I stress about lack of movement but don't enjoy being kicked in the ribs in the least. I hate having to pee constantly. I can't sleep a wink at night, but am unable to keep my
Read more: Green

My Little Prodigy
2008-07-30 23:21:00
Clearly, the kid's on to something here. He's a Jackson Pollock for the preschool generation. Just look at his color choices, his composition, his sense of movement... he's a natural! How do we start raking in the dough?(And try this--it's almost as much fun as the real thing.)© SCARY MOMMY 2008
Read more: Prodigy

And... he's off
2008-07-30 08:28:00
Goodbye, easy baby. Hello, baby gates. Hello, dog food and water everywhere. Hello, baby proofing. Hello, stained knees. Hello, little trouble maker.Yup, we've got a crawler.© SCARY MOMMY 2008


That's, like, so... Random!
2008-07-29 13:04:00
Crazy Mom has tagged me to participate in a meme. I'm scary, she's crazy... how could I resist? However, the game calls for 6 random facts. That's a lot to ask and a ton of potential blog posts down the tubes. So, I'm just going to share one bit of random information with you. It's my blog and I can break the rules if I want to. It will also help you understand the craziness that led to yesterday'
Read more: Random

Why I Really Stay Home
2008-07-28 16:56:00
I've spoken before about how staying home with the kids is the best job I've ever had. And, it is (most days.) What I haven't touched on is the fact that my children aren't the only beneficiaries of my being out of the workforce. I was never cut out for the whole office thing, to say the least.My first job out of college was doing newspaper advertising for a regional department store. The first d


Don't be a Loser
2008-07-27 18:33:00
Because I am just so sweet and kind, I'm taking part in a Blog Giveaway. Isn't that exciting? I think so. I am giving away a custom bucket, in your choice of an arts & crafts or bath time theme. I'll even personalize a label. They are filled with tons of great stuff and promise hours of entertainment!To enter just leave a comment in the comment section and I will use random.org to generate a w
Read more: Loser

Men are from Mars
2008-07-27 16:36:00
Jeff and I were discussing how different the big kids are with the two of us (innocent angels for him and raging terrors for me.) Since he's been traveling so much for work, he's really taken the role of good time dad. On the weekends, he's the one who takes them to the zoo, to the mall for new toys, the park, the children's museum... Every activity seems to culminate with cupcakes or ice cream.H


Smells Like Teen Spirit
2008-07-25 13:41:00
I love the way my children smell. They each have scents unique to them and each one is sweet and familiar. I love nuzzling their little necks and breathing them in. They are delicious.So, why is it that after a brief two minutes outside they stink like a junior high locker room? A few days ago I made the mistake of letting them go outside to pick a flower after their bath. They came in omitting a
Read more: Smells , Teen Spirit

Shit.
2008-07-25 12:58:00
This is 882% MORE than other websites who took this test.(Thanks RPH Mommy for the eye opener. My parents will be so proud) © SCARY MOMMY 2008


Strike a Pose
2008-07-21 21:54:00
For more fun photos, visit Phriday Photo Phiesta! All day, I long for a few moments of peace and quiet. When I get them, I'm always suspicious-- inevitably, someone is up to no good. Traces of evidence can usually be found with some novice detective work: Hand soap poured into the toilet produces a whole lot of bubbles, markers on arms don't rub off so easily and dirt plus water equals a mess that


Run like Hell
2008-07-20 08:47:00
When both your mother and babysitter suggest that you andyour husband leave the kids and check into a hotel for the nightwhat do you do? You run.You run so fast to your mom's house that you forget diapers and wipes for your son. So fast that you pack long sleeved pajamas for your daughter, forgetting that a) her arm is in a cast and b) it's hotter than hell. So fast that you forget to pack make-up


A Tale of Two Bears
2008-07-17 23:00:00
Meet Bo-Bo.Ben befriended him about a year ago and has been attached ever since. Bo-Bo is a necessity at nap and bedtime and a constant companion in and out of the house. Once the two of them became tight, in a genius mother move, I found another "Bo-Bo" on e-bay. He'd been discontinued and I wanted to be sure to have a spare in case he ever got left on an airplane or thrown off a boat or somehow
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Ben: And then there were two
2008-07-16 23:38:00
Ben, unlike his siblings, was a totally timely addition. I knew I was in the earliest stages of pregnancy over a trip to the Bahamas for my birthday. I packed a test and eagerly woke up at 6 am to take it. Happy birthday to me!! But, alas, the test didn't cooperate and a big fat negative sign frowned back at me. But I just knew that the test was wrong. When we arrived home a few days later, that s


Lily: The Beginning
2008-07-16 07:49:00
Being a sibling myself, I have grown accustomed to the tune of "It's not fair" and "You love her more than me." Lily and Ben have already begun making sure that everything is perfectly equitable between them, and I know it's only a matter of time before they start competing with Evan. So, lest the "big kids" think I loved them any less, here is a little look back at their early days...Having a bab


The Baby: An Update
2008-07-14 00:09:00
My little Evan, your two lines on a stick took me by surprise, to put it mildly. I cried in the doctor's office when, at 16 weeks, there was no doubt that you were all boy. I spent every moment of my pregnancy terrified that we were having a third child so quickly.And then you arrived. Painlessly and easily, and that was that. You won me over in an instant. Since this blog is serving as your baby
Read more: Update

Sybil in the House
2008-07-09 17:08:00
My daughter has multiple personalities. On one hand, she can be so over-the-top sweet and affectionate. So sweet that you just eat her up and get a toothache doing so. On the other hand, she can be the biggest pain in the ass you've ever met. Competitive, whiny, stubborn and defiant. Impossible. Unfortunately, it seems that lately, I'm only privy to the latter. And I'm not happy about it.She is m
Read more: House

Change of Plans
2008-07-07 21:28:00
Guess who broke her arm tonight and will be spending the remainder of the summer in a cast?Yup, Lily. That's who. My poor baby girl.Business travel sucks. I take it all back. Jeff is gone this whole week and there is no part of me that feels anything other than entirely bitter about it.Oh, how quickly things change.Shit. © SCARY MOMMY 2008
Read more: Change

The Benefits of Business Travel
2008-07-07 01:06:00
Jeff travels to Chicago weekly for work. It's hard have him away; The kids whine for him, the days seem to go on forever and I miss my back rubs him tremendously.But.But... I must admit, it's not all bad. In fact, there are parts of it that are pretty darn nice. Parts that I would really miss should this traveling cease. Parts that I anticipate with glee.Let me explain: I've never lived alone. I w
Read more: Benefits , Business , Travel

Married With Children
2008-07-06 00:31:00
© SCARY MOMMY 2008
Read more: Children

You Can’t Go Home Again
2008-07-04 09:27:00
The 4th of July has always been special to me. I was born just a few days before, on the same day as my grandpa. Our birthdays, and later just mine, turned into a week long celebration. Some of my best childhood memories were made during this time of parades, parties and fireworks.The home I grew up in was on the main street in a small ocean town, right across from the water. The view was to die f
Read more: Again

Frogs & Snails & Puppy Dog Tails
2008-07-03 02:34:00
Who pooped in the community swimming pool yesterday? Picks his nose and gives the result to the baby? Finds mud, bugs and pulling his sister's hair totally irresistible? Who announces every burp, fart and stomach growl with glee?Yup. He's all mine.© SCARY MOMMY 2008
Read more: Frogs , Puppy , Snails , Tails

Bribery works
2008-08-18 09:08:00
Pictures, followed by ice cream. A win-win for all.© SCARY MOMMY 2008


Hush, Little Baby
2008-08-18 01:24:00
I have a history of fucking up my children's sleeping habits. If it were up to me, they'd sleep in in my bed for all of their brief little babyhood. I love falling asleep holding them. I love nuzzling their sweet little faces. I love making them feel safe. I love smelling their little shampooed heads. I love feeling them breathe and hearing their content little baby noises. I love waking up next t


Blogging for Blood Cancer
2008-08-16 15:28:00
There are some people you feel lucky to know. People you admire and respect and just want to be around. You are even more fortunate if you are related to these people. My cousin Lisa, and her son Daniel are these people for me.Daniel was diagnosed with Leukemia when he was 8 years old. A particularly tough strain that normally affects adults, he faced a battle that no child should. He has had two
Read more: Blogging , Blood , Cancer

Greetings from Vacation
2008-08-13 08:18:00
Dear fellow passengers on the ferry,I owe you an apology. If you were hoping for a nice and peaceful boat ride, yesterday wasn't your day. It may not have been my best judgment to let my children take up an entire bench and play dead while laughing hysterically. Ring around the Rosie in the middle of the floor probably should have been stopped as well. But I have trouble ending their fun when they
Read more: Greetings , Vacation

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