Owner: Scary Mommy URL:http://www.scarymommy.com Join Date: Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:28:00 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: I adore my own children, but can't stand most others. I forge my daughter's signature by closing my eyes and using my left hand. I worship the internet and spend way too much time on it. I swear way too much, never workout and am addicted to die Site statistics:Click here
Little Boxes on the Hillside 2008-08-07 04:24:00 I have no friends in my current neighborhood. Zero. Zilch. Squat. And that's just the way I wanted it, sort of...When Lily was born we lived in a new urban development. It was a kind of Disney version of Mayberry. A lovely place, where every house was well groomed and had the perfect front porch. We could walk to the park, the pool, restaurants and movies... A pretty little utopia situated just mo Read more:Boxes
Selective Deafness 2008-08-05 23:54:00 What part of "Yes, you may pick a flower, but please stay out of the pool because you just got dressed" did he not comprehend?Oh, and if you're wondering what's up with the little thumbs up icon underneath the posts, I joined StumbleUpon. You register, choose the categories you are interested in and download a tool bar with a Stumble button. When you click it, you're brought to random sites that Read more:Selective
My husband drives me crazy II 2008-08-05 05:10:00 I'm sure every couple battles over the remote control. Every pair of roommates or families living under the same roof, for that matter...it's inevitable. Here, it's not so much the issue of control, but rather technique. Since I am usually glued to the computer blogging once the kids are tucked into bed, Jeff mostly gets to control the TV. We may need to seriously rethink this arrangement, however
A Truly Scary Mommy 2008-09-09 08:14:00 Despite my (very witty) name, I'm really not all that scary. You want to know who is? Maybe "ScaryMommy
" isn't fitting... How's "Terrifying Mother Fucker?" Yup, that's more like it.It takes an awful lot to get me worked up about politics, but worked up, I am. I am furious and scared and perplexed. I frequent some mommy chat boards and have read that people are voting for her simply due to her gen
Never say Never part deux 2008-09-08 16:40:00 Speaking of broken parenting promises...I have always been grossed out by thrift stores. Although I am super thrifty and go to extraordinary measures to save a few bucks, used clothing stores have never appealed to me. Not knowing who wore it, shit in it, puked on it... blech. I love hand me downs from family and friends, and am unfazed that some of those items may have originated from a second ha
Before & After 2008-09-08 03:19:00 Before I had children, I had a lengthy mental list of things I would never do as a parent. My non-nos included things such as a never letting my children teethe on car keys, chew gum or sit on the floor in restaurants (gross, classless and impolite, in no particular order.) Needless to say, I've broken every single one of those self-imposed rules, and it's only getting worse by the day.Previous to
Boys, Boys, Boys 2008-08-31 14:21:00 When I found out I was having my first boy, my initial emotion was total fear. How on earth would I raise a boy? I've never understood boys, or men for that matter (my husband being no exception.) They're a different breed than the polished toe, hair coloring, on the quest for the perfect pair of jeans sex that I normally gravitate towards. How would I ever raise one? I was so not cut out for this
Two of a Kind 2008-08-28 19:08:00 Yes, I regretted not enrolling them in summer camp. Yes, I wanted to pull my hair out daily. Yes, I wanted to pay my elderly neighbor whom I barely know just to take them for 20 minutes so I could have a break. Yes, I am going to be dancing to my car on Tuesday morning after I drop them both off at school...But, all in all, it's actually been kind of nice having Lily & Ben home. Sure, it was
Navigation System from Hell 2008-08-26 15:15:00 Dear wench spewing out directions from inside my husband's dashboard,What the hell did I ever do to you? What made you think that the night after a funeral and burial, one day after a ten plus hour drive to get there, we'd feel like trekking through the scenic route of rural Connecticut? Because we certainly didn't.We didn't feel like listening to a screaming baby while driving in the pitch black Read more:Navigation
, Navigation System
, System
Good Night, Sleep Tight... 2008-08-23 14:30:00 Jeff's has always had a very special relationship with his grandmother. As a child, he would spend weekend nights at her house, enjoying her home cooked dinners and back rubs. Many of his fondest childhood memories involve tales of her spoiling him rotten. She had the wonderful ability to make each and every grandchild feel like her absolute favorite. As an adult back at her home for visits, Jeff Read more:Night
, Sleep
My husband drives me crazy III 2008-08-21 20:24:00 My husband is the single least selfish person I know. He is ridiculously generous and thoughtful to everyone he knows; it's actually quite unbelievable. Except, when it comes to ice cream. Where frozen confection is concerned, he is one selfish mother fucker.We'll begin with the box: Rather than soften ice cream on the counter like a normal person, he insists on microwaving the carton each time. N
The end of Telemarketers 2008-09-26 08:07:00 In the basement, earlier this week, the phone rings...Lily, I call, I think it's Daddy. Please pick it up?Lily: Hi, Daddy... good... I played and colored... good... how's work? are you in Chicago? I miss you... we're playing with the trains... Ben is here and Ev... good... I miss you... when will you be home? I had fun at school... I didn't nap... Mommy is here... feeding Ev... applesauce... ok... Read more:Telemarketers
Breaking up is hard to do 2008-09-26 00:23:00 I've never really been dumped. I went to college, barely eighteen, leaving a summer boyfriend behind. He was older, it wasn't going anywhere and I was hoping to make up for my pathetic love life in high school by getting some serious freshman action. A few days in, I met my husband to be. So much for some notches on my belt.I adore my husband. I know that we are soul mates, as cliche and cheesy as Read more:Breaking
Octopus Arms 2008-09-24 06:45:00 When exactly did those little arms get so long? Such a novice-mother move my part, I should know better by now...And, an update for those of you following our sleeping saga: I am thrilled to report that Evan has been sleeping in his crib for the past 3 weeks. He cries for 5 minutes or so and then proceeds to sleep for 9 hours without a peep. I threw in the towel after spending an entire night bein
Imperfect Perfection 2008-09-22 23:03:00 Anyone who knows me well would agree on at least thing: I think I am always right. Now, logically, I recognize that this may be an impossibility. There may have been a handful of times where my judgment was not top notch. Occasionally, I have even been proven wrong. Occasionally. But, it takes an enormous amount of effort for me to step back and remember that. I want things done my way, (the righ Read more:Perfection
Our furry little friends 2008-09-22 13:42:00 I vividly remember the day I made the connection between the cute little
animals I adored and what was being served to me on a plate. It was not a pleasant revelation, to say the least. I still suppress visions of Wilbur while dining on pork chops and have never been able to get myself to devour a sweet little lamb.Last year, while eating at my favorite Spanish tapas restaurant, Lily insisted on t
Martha, Martha, Martha 2008-09-19 13:22:00 I don't like to kiss ass. It's not really in my nature. There is pretty much one person who will bring me to my knees and make me grovel. Her name is Martha
. Martha Stewart. She's having a blog contest and I just couldn't resist pimping myself out.Dear Martha,I adore you. Always have, always will. Your style, your cooking, your magazine, your shows, your books... I like to think of myself as a cur
Home Sweet Home 2008-09-18 07:07:00 I have a million fears. Mainly, I worry about something terrible happening to one of my kids--my brain can't even go there. I worry about plane crashes and terrorism attacks. I worry about car accidents and diseases. I worry about the environment. About war. I worry about something awful happening to Jeff, or to myself. Those fears can consume me.And then there's the other stuff that I worry about Read more:Home Sweet Home
, Sweet
Cable company drives housewife to insanity 2008-09-16 08:00:00 Dear Verizon FIOS,You had me at "lightening fast" and "instant connection." I spend enough time on the computer to be lured by your glamorous promises. An 8 hour appointment seemed like a lot for you to ask of me, but I was willing and able. I wanted you that badly.Your technician arrived punctually before the clock struck nine. It all seemed so innocent and full of possibilities then. When he lef Read more:Cable
, company
, insanity
Cold Blooded Killer 2008-09-11 14:11:00 Two 1.5 pound lobsters from Maine: $29.95One Lemon: $.50Melted Butter: $2.50Pair of Crackers: $6.99Never craving lobster again: PricelessI can't eat chicken that I've prepared myself. Once I've touched it raw, it becomes totally unappetizing to me. The texture... the smell.. the fatty edges... At a restaurant or someones home, fine, but once I see its slimy pink flesh I just can't consume it. Sam Read more:Killer
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