Owner: Chicken And Cheese URL:www.mychickencheese.com Join Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2007 20:54:56 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: An East Coast transplant learns to deal with life on the prairie, one ear of corn at a time, while raising her spirited preschooler, The Poo. Site statistics:Click here
So I'm Freaking Out A Little 2007-04-25 17:38:00 It's official - I got a great gig writing a feature story on the arts and leisure aspects of my hometown for a major airline's in-flight magazine.
Not only was I assigned this three-page spread, complete with photos, I also snagged three sidebars on other aspects of the city's "color." It ain't Vanity Fair, but it will be read by thousands of passengers during the month of July.
It pays well, Read more:Freaking
My Two Moms 2007-05-01 13:14:00 This will be my first Mother’s Day as a mother. I’m excited. But I also don’t expect very much to come out of it. After all, my boy is just a baby. And my husband, JP, probably won’t think of the holiday as any big deal.
In fact, he asked me if I’d like to have his mother and father over for dinner on Mother’s Day. (I told him not really, because that means I spend my weekend cleaning the house
An Open Letter To Ann Taylor Loft 2007-04-30 14:01:00 To Whom It May Concern:
Last week I went shopping for an outfit to wear to an occasion that required more sartorial sophistication than my typical jeans and T-shirts.
Your store is the ideal spot for such a shopping excursion. Dressy but not over the top, quality without extreme prices.
I was delighted when I tried on a pair of size 10 black pants and they slid easily over hips that have lost Read more:Letter
, Taylor
, Ann Taylor
, Ann Taylor Loft
Holy Crap! 2007-05-04 15:11:00 The Poo lived up to her nickname and POOPED ON THE POTTY!
She asked me if she could sit on the potty, said she was going to poop, and pushed.
I, of course, thought she was faking when she insisted she'd gone. I had a hard time believing that she pooped the second time she ever really sat on the thing.
So imagine my surprise when I looked and saw the cutest, tiniest poop ever! Even better
Rumpled and Untidy 2007-05-03 14:00:00 If the stats from my sitemeter are any indication, I am boring you to death.
It seems right now that all I can do is record my notes from the trenches and keep moving forward. I'd love to tell you I'm an amazing mother with limitless creativity and energy, as Rebecca so thoughtfully asked of us.
But I can't. Not right now.
While I'm sure it seems like The Poo is a monster whose whims rule my
Conundrum 2007-05-03 00:16:00 ******Updated below ...
What's worse?
No nap, or falling asleep on the couch at 5 p.m. in an "I wouldn't wake up if you fired a cannon" kind of way?
Discuss.
********
At 7 p.m. we transfered her to her crib, where she woke briefly to say, "Dat's gooooooooood."
She didn't stir again until 6 a.m. this morning. The Motherhood Gods took pity on me yesterday, because we both needed that rest. Read more:Conundrum
No One Told Me There Would Be Days Like These 2007-05-02 14:00:00 When I was pregnant with The Poo, everyone told me how my life was about to change.
"Kiss your freedom goodbye," they said.
"Sleep now, while you still can," they said.
"You'll never eat a hot meal again," they said.
While the fear and sleep-deprivation were grueling, after a few weeks we had the hang of this parenting gig. The Poo got up to eat three or four times a night, and during the day
Wherein I Re-live High School In My Living Room 2007-05-07 03:34:00 I have a huuuuuuuge pimple.
It's right above my upper lip, a little to the right of my nose. Kind of where, if I were Cindy Crawford, my beauty mark would be.
I tend to get The Pimple when I am stressed out, or if there is a big occasion - say, my junior prom or my wedding day - in the near future. I even had The Pimple when we moved to Chambana. You know, because it is so awesome to meet your Read more:School
, Living
, Living Room
Guest Blogger! Susan Wagner Tells You What To Wear 2007-05-09 14:47:00 When I started reading blogs, Friday Playdate was an immediate favorite. I spent hours surfing Susan
's archives and laughing my ass off.
Not only is this writer funny, she is smart - and she has a wicked fashion sense. That's why I asked her if she would be willing to write a guest post for me this week.
I'm swamped with my freelance gig, and I am trying to figure out how to dress my 35- Read more:Guest
, Blogger
, Wagner
, Guest Blogger
TV Is Good For You 2007-05-08 14:35:00 I'm not the mom who forbids her child to watch TV. Don't get me wrong - if you don't want your child attached to the boob tube, I totally get it.
But my 2.4-year-old gave up her nap at 2.2. If I didn't have the TV, we'd be eating out of cans and the health department would have condemned the house long, long ago.
So when The Parent Bloggers Network asked me to review the Baby IQ "World Around
Magic Band-Aids and Healing Kisses 2007-05-11 16:10:00 The Poo experienced an important rite of passage this week, and skinned her knee on the playground.
I wasn't there.
The babysitter has been here a lot this week, as I lock myself in the office and work frantically on my freelance piece. I was up there writing Monday afternoon when I heard front door open and the sound of The Poo crying.
I didn't think much about it, figuring she was angry at Read more:Magic
, Healing
, Kisses
In-Between Days 2007-05-10 18:56:00 I haven't written about my weight loss efforts in a long time, but I am still slogging away, trying to stay on the path back to MILF-dom.
(and to those of you looking for "Illinois greasy MILFs," I'm sorry to tell you that my bathing and grooming habits are fairly regular)
The sad part is that while I have lost 10 pounds, it took me nearly three months to do so. I'm absolutely terrible about
Mothers, Unite! 2007-05-15 16:48:00 O, irony!
I read most "Even June Cleaver Would Forget The Juice Box" on the floor next to The Poo's crib, by the dim illumination of her night light.
The sleep issues we've endured lately served to make me feel like a failure. Reduced to giving in to her whims in order for any of us to get any rest awakened what Ann Dunnewold calls "irrational thoughts."
"This is the end," I said to myself, Read more:Mothers
Confessions Of A Dirty Housewife 2007-05-18 15:12:00 I am in love. Rubbermaid, I am your bitch.
Tell me this laundry room doesn't get you totally hot. Read more:Housewife
I.O.U. 2007-05-17 15:09:00 I am a terrible friend.
*holds up hands*
No, really, stop. I am. I have emails in my inbox from beloved pals from April that I haven't returned yet. I have lists of people I need to call. I only call my mom once a week, and only then because I know she won't call me.
Maybe I'm lazy. Maybe it is because I am absolutely certain that you are going to find me lacking, ignore me, shut me out,
Mortality Is A Bitch 2007-05-16 15:58:00 "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work ... I want to achieve it through not dying." - Woody Allen
****
Mr. Chicken's has high blood pressure.
A semester filled with 60-hour work weeks, arguments with me over the aforementioned work week, and figuring out how to live like students after a decade of living like adults conspired to exacerbate his condition. A doctor visit revealed Read more:Bitch
Sleepless In Chambana 2007-05-20 14:16:00 My body reacts before my brain.
I wake up in a sitting position, the sound of the scream reaching my ears well after my spine recognizes the sound. Eyes closed, I stumbled from the warm bed into the nursery.
She is standing at the rail, wailing under a halo of tangled curls. Cheeks flushed, Bunsie clutched in one hand.
I mutter to her.
Lay down, baby. It's nighttime.
She wails again.
Overheard At 6 A.M. 2007-05-19 17:07:00 The Poo: Mommy, sumpthin's stinky.
Mommy: What is it, Poo? What is stinky?
The Poo: Mommy, can I watch Dora?
Mommy: Sure, Poo.
The Poo: Mommy! You stink!
Mommy: I stink?!
The Poo: (leans down to smell Mommy's sweatpants) Yeah! Your body! Your pants! They are reeeaaaallly stinky!
Mommy: Great. Just great, Poo. That's just what Mommy wants to hear at six in the morning.
Now I Know How Jimmy Carter Feels 2007-05-24 08:27:00 Over the last week, The Poo decided she is mommy's girl, exclusively.
She wants nothing to do with her daddy, who is home at noon each day now that the semester is over. He goes into work in the morning to assist his mentor with research - according to the terms of his new fellowship - and hurries home to enjoy the heart of the day with me and The Poo.
But instead of running to the door when he Read more:Carter
, Feels
, Jimmy Carter
The Toddler's Table: Applebee's 2007-05-23 09:15:00 Welcome to The Toddler's Table
, an occasional restaurant review series by The Poo.
**************
Hostess: Lady, do I look like I want to sit in a highchair? And by the way, is there a reason you can't count? It's not "two and a highchair." Am I not a human being?
Crayons: I see four colors of crayons. So why do I only get two?
Kid's Menu: Just the way I like it. Lots of cheese and saturated
Her Father's Daughter 2007-05-22 08:02:00 Summer has arrived on the prairie. Temperatures here in Illinois are reaching the high end of the thermometer, and with a newly fenced-in yard and a plastic swimming pool at the ready, I encourage The Poo to play outside as often as I can. My motives are not entirely pure; I cravenly plot to wear her out so she’ll fall asleep on the couch. A nap, a nap, my kingdom for a nap! Every morning when Read more:Father
, Daughter
I Asked Myself, What Would MacGyver Do? 2007-05-21 08:21:00 Christmas gift cards burning a hole in his pocket, Mr. Chicken lobbied hard this weekend for a trip to the groovy mall over the state line. With all of Sunday (and Sunday dinner) in our dirty house stretched out before me, a trip to Indy sounded like heaven.
Around 10 a.m. we headed for the car, and in an unusual display of competence, I grabbed two diapers and a pack of wipes for my bag.
Our
Fed Up 2007-05-27 08:18:00 I can't take it anymore. The Poo is chubby and it worries me.
There. I said it.
Her Buddha belly still juts out in front of her proudly, despite her unusual height.
Her diet is terrible and she refuses to go outside. Her favorite activities are reading books on the couch, watching TV on the couch, and napping on the couch.
Are you seeing a pattern here?
I'm not the most active person, but
The Girl's Still Got It 2007-05-25 08:13:00 My phone rang at 7:15 this morning and I jumped up, heart in my throat. While it could've been Mr. Chicken, he prefers to communicate by email.
In my house, when the phone rings that early, someone is sick or dying.
Breathlessly, I answered.
"Hello?" I asked.
"OK, I'm sending you some pictures. I need fashion advice. You have to tell me if I look huge," my sister replied, equally breathless.
Cleveland ... Um ... Rocks? 2007-05-30 10:03:00 There's nothing I love more than driving 500 miles to spend four days in a three-bedroom house in which people have been chain-smoking for five decades, in a city where once, the river set on fire.
Yes, we're going to my husband's grandparents' house in Cleveland
.
Mr. Chicken's 25-year-old half-sister is - surprise! - having a baby. Considering she is immature, underemployed and unwed, the Read more:Rocks
How Does Your Cookie Crumble? 2007-05-29 14:36:00 Growing up, we always had fresh cookies in the house.
I don’t know how she did it, with three kids and a workaholic husband, but somehow my mom always managed to have a batch of her homemade chocolate chip cookies in a plastic bag on the counter. I don’t ever remember seeing her bake them until I was well into college. She must have made them at midnight, after we were all tucked in our beds. Read more:Cookie
, Crumble
Sudden Showers 2007-05-28 10:52:00 In a rare fit of industry, I decided to hold a garage sale the third weekend in June.
Cleaning out our basement was the clincher - chock full of old, unused furniture, nick-knacks and clothes, it took us three hours to just organize the crap in piles. Among the flotsam and jetsam of a decade of dating, marriage, child-bearing and homeownership were about 10 giant plastic storage bags of baby Read more:Sudden
, Showers
Gravity 2007-06-05 12:06:00 Her hair is too dark, and pulled back tight in that way like some girls do.
It is stick straight, and too thin for someone in their eighth month. It is as though all her worries, all her hard work, is manifesting itself in her tired locks.
She is very big; the boy is measuring seven pounds with four weeks to go. He is low, his gravity pulls her forward. She tilts toward the floor, but keeps her
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